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Directed by: Mark L. Lester Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Vernon Wells, Alyssa Milano If Commando (1985) is not the finest action movie of all time, it is probably the most entertaining Schwarzenegger movie, perfectly combining absurd levels of violence, Arnold's trademark one-liners, and loads of unintentional comedy deriving from the cheesy dialogue, horrible acting performances by the leads, and incomprehensible leaps in logic. The film stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as Col. John Matrix, a retired special forces soldier who is forced back into action in order to rescue his daughter played by a (very) young Alyssa Milano. The gang is led by the vicious Bennett (Vernon Wells) who, despite his tough-guy attitude, resembles a bloated, angry Freddy Mercury sporting chain mail for what we can assume is some reason. In addition, Rae Dawn Chong plays a saucy stewardess who becomes Arnold's sidekick. The movie is pure action from the start; Bennett's henchmen die in virtually every scene and, by the end of the movie, the body count approaches triple digits. The action scenes are immensely entertaining as Arnold not only defies legions of assault-rifle toting baddies played by the same dozen bearded stuntmen who die over and over again in a sort of tragic samsara that is the result being a henchman in an Arnold movie, but also the laws of physics and the very boundaries of logic. As a bonus, whenever Arnold kills a villain important enough for a speaking role, he lets loose with a spectacular one-liner to put their corpses into place. Commando is one of my favorite movies because the strong point (Arnold killing a ton of people) works and what doesn't work (dialogue, acting, etc.) is bad enough to be transcendantly entertaining. Rent this and watch it with some buddies. Rating: 5/5 Notes: Commando also has a quirky soundtrack written by James Horner featuring the saxophone and steel drums for some reason...The movie is rated R for violence and for challenging They Live to be the 80s movie with the most pointless nude scene in existence...Arnold turned down an opportunity to reprise his role in a sequel-- instead the movie was changed around and turned into Die Hard. RATING: 5.0 PROS: Enormous body count, unintentional comedy CONS: lousy acting, nonsensical plot ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088944/
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May 8, 2004 05:49
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 09:42 |
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I am in total agreement. From a critical standpoint Commando is an awful film but this winning combination of comic ultra violence, bad one liners and hilariously implausible happenings make for one hell of an entertaining ride. Commando is a favourite of mine and every time it is shown on TV I always find myself watching it again. 5/5 P.S. Look out for Bill Paxton in a small role as an air traffic controller. mrkillboy fucked around with this message at 06:06 on May 8, 2004 |
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May 8, 2004 06:04
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It was pretty crazy. Lots of that great 80s action. [Arnold drops the guy off the cliff.] "What did you do with him?" "I had to let him go."
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May 8, 2004 11:44
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I'm pretty sure the comedic elements of this movie were intentional. In fact I pretty much place this movie as actioner first, comedy second. It was the first movie I watched after 9/11, and its simplistic Reagan-era cartoonish violence soothed my wounds remarkably.  And I'm not even a conservative!
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May 8, 2004 12:42
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I just love how his last name was "Matrix" i bet that was the Kernel of the whole idea, Producer: "We'll get this Big Badass named Matrix, and make him blow the whole loving MOVIE UP!! IT'LL BE GREAT!"
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May 8, 2004 15:46
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There are movies, special movies, that you keep in your personal collection for those rare moments when you're with a bunch of friends and need to watch something which transcends the individual. COMMANDO is one such film. While you may turn to Spaceballs or Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail for your comedy, or Predator for hard action, Commando links these perfectly. It may very well be the BEST of the overblown 80s action extravaganzas. John Matrix is a badass the like of which can only be achieved by merging Samuel L. Jackson and some Punisher-like comic hero. One of the film's most unexpected scenes comes in the first 10 minutes, when a terrorist attempts to bargain for the life of his daughter, saying something like "you don't have a choice". Matrix whips out a pistol and places a slug smack dag in the middle of his skull The catalyst for all this is one deposed vaguely-south american dictator, and one former member of Matrix's ex-commando unit (who was removed because Matrix complained he was either psychotic or gave of a pudgy Freddie Mercury vibe). Both have a considerable axe to grind, so they target Matrix' family. At the end, Matrix assaults an entire ISLAND of mercenaries. I bet you can figure out the result. If anything, maybe this tidbit from the IMBD will sway you to watch: During the scene in the shed, after Matrix cuts the soldier's arm off, he was originally supposed to hit the victim with it and tell him to shut up. This scene was edited out as being too macabre. 5.5/5
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May 8, 2004 23:41
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it was an unsettling mix of serious action with chessy moments of laughter. while i did laugh, id rather not see it again. its so bad it was funny, but not nearly as much as other movies, so i cant rate it that high. also, when matrix throughs the fat tub of lard that was the villan (whatever his name was) against the electrified fence, and then he just comes off like nothing happened after writhing in pain, i laughed, and then had a hemmorrage.
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May 8, 2004 23:50
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quote:FilthyImp came out of the closet to say: No, it's even better than that "You do the job, and you'll get your daughter back. Simple, right?" "WRONG" *BANG* (Arnie holding some guy over the edge of a cliff) "Hey Sully, remember how I said I'd kill you last?" "Oh yeah Matrix, you did... thank God" "I LIED" ... "What happened to Sully?" "I let him go" Cooke: You scared motherfucker? Well you should be because this green beret is going to kick your big rear end. Matrix: I eat green berets for breakfast. And right now I'm very hungry. Cindy: I can't believe this macho bullshit. Loads more at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/6305364664/104-3248757-8667915?v=glance&vi=quotes-trivia
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May 9, 2004 00:32
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^^^gently caress you. I just started reading film dump, and was surprised that this movie came up. I rated it a 4.5, mainly because Arnold Schwarzenegger kicked major rear end in it. "Remember, Sully, when I said I'd kill you last?" "Yeah, commander." "Well, I lied" "Where'd Sully go?" "I let him go"
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May 9, 2004 01:08
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Great for all the wrong reasons. "Let off some steam, Bennett!"
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May 10, 2004 09:00
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I am convinced that this movie was made to be as bad as it possibly could for comedy gold. The violence was so unbelievably ridiculous and the one-liners were so bad they were painfully funny. The continuity editor should have been shot by one of the extremely large guns Arnold was using. When Cindy says "Where's Sully" I don't think she'd even ever heard his name earlier in the movie. I gave this movie a 4/5 simply because I never stopped laughing from beginning to end. Edit: Spelled ridiculous wrong 
Ramen Soup fucked around with this message at 09:40 on May 10, 2004 |
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May 10, 2004 09:37
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quote:OgreNoah came out of the closet to say: LULLLLLL LUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
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May 10, 2004 21:55
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5/5 from me. Arnie at his (shockingly bad, yet strangly) best.
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May 10, 2004 22:58
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The purest form of Arnie movie, I love to drive my wife nuts by watching the beginning (right up until the helicopter shows up) with my 4 year old daughter, it's a kitchy start with him and his daughter (soon to be POA Alyssa Milano) eating ice cream and petting deer. Great movie trivia with the Die Hard connection btw...
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May 11, 2004 01:03
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People are forgetting the greatest line in the entire movie: GENERIC ARMY GENERAL: We don't know who's after you, John. It could be the Russians, the Syrians, the South Americans...you've made enemies all over the world. Yes, John Matrix apparently has an entire CONTINENT after him. Despite these plot retardations, the movie is the epitome of '80's action, and a complete, total rear end-kicking Arnie film. Highly recommended.
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May 11, 2004 04:01
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I know when it comes to movie reviews I am to this forum what Paula Abdul is to American Idol, but I'm easily amused. This movie falls into the category of one of my favorite movie genres- "so stupid it's entertaining". In this category, the movie is a 5/5. It encouraged me to watch more of Arnold's movies just for comic value, and to urge my needs for senseless violence (I've seen all of them except for Junior, and Jingle all the way).
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May 14, 2004 05:15
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I grew up watching Arnold movies, and this was one of my favorites. The acting is bad, there are tons of plotholes, and the plot in general isn't even that well developed. None of this takes away from the fact that this is a great action movie. It's Arnold at his best, taking on entire armies of Spanish(?) soldiers, and still having time to think up some remarkably witty catch phrases. "Let off some steam, Bennet." This movie gets a 4.
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May 14, 2004 14:10
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 09:42 |
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This movie is so over the top at points it could be mistaken for parody had it not been made in the 80's. The dialogue and catchphrases border on the ridiculous, and the combat scenes make the Rambo movies look like war documentaries. There's nothing funnier than watching Arnie assault a fortified island by himself in an inflatable raft and proceed to kill everything that moves and blow up far too many structures. 4.5/5
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May 14, 2004 17:13
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