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How has your pet brought you closer to our great Lord and Saviour? I personally felt our Lord's presence increase upon getting a dog, he truly made me feel the warm presence of our Lord and perfectly fulfilled my prayers to spite heretics who aren't allowed to have them. All in all it has been really enriching to have a friend to share my faith with. How has your pet brought you closer to our Lord?
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May 27, 2014 22:37
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 10:33 |
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FartGhost posted:How has your pet brought you closer to our great Lord and Saviour? I personally felt our Lord's presence increase upon getting a dog, he truly made me feel the warm presence of our Lord and perfectly fulfilled my prayers to spite heretics who aren't allowed to have them. My parrot has somehow learned the phrase "Oh God, yes, yes!" It is truly a sign of gods love to hear her shout out in praise! That or thin walls.
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May 27, 2014 22:47
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My pet monkey proves that evolution does not exist. Just like the Lord said in the Bible.
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May 27, 2014 23:07
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Given all the loving times he's tried to kill me I'm gonna say yes.
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May 28, 2014 01:13
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I mean, I'm not sure if the goats count as pets per se, but the rituals have been going really well.
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May 28, 2014 01:55
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Death and killing brings one closer to god.
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May 28, 2014 17:59
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Sure have! That is, given the number of times I've yelled, 'God drat it, STOP THAT!' at various animals.
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May 28, 2014 19:10
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Every time my barfing cat barfs on the carpet, I tell her "God dammit I hate you so much." It makes me feel much closer to the Lord.
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May 28, 2014 20:03
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Slugworth posted:I mean, I'm not sure if the goats count as pets per se, but the rituals have been going really well. Read that as "ghosts" Holy Ghosts 
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May 29, 2014 02:18
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FartGhost posted:How has your pet brought you closer to our great Lord and Saviour? I personally felt our Lord's presence increase upon getting a dog, he truly made me feel the warm presence of our Lord and perfectly fulfilled my prayers to spite heretics who aren't allowed to have them. Yeah, Ive tripped over her so many times one of these days she just might succeeded on killing me.
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May 29, 2014 05:22
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I tell my dog "I swear to God" a lot, so I imagine its helped.
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May 29, 2014 18:26
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One time while I was sleeping Apollo stepped on my chest directly on an incision site from a recent minor surgery, and I shouted "loving Christ, cat!" as I threw him across the room. The little rear end in a top hat is just fine, of course. Adorable bastard.
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May 29, 2014 18:37
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My little moster dog Bindi rules now in Hell, gleefully nipping the souls of the damnned.
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May 29, 2014 18:52
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When my dog empties the trash can all over the kitchen I say "Jesus Christ" a lot. When he's being super cute, like if he's having a doggy dream, I will say "Oh my god look at that dog" to anyone within earshot. I'm sure the Lord shakes his Holy Head with me and also goes "Aaaaw, what a beautiful beast which I hath created."
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Jun 1, 2014 01:52
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one time i had a little hermit crab that had a cross on one of his claws
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Jun 1, 2014 18:00
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When our conure yells "drat IT!" it is clearly due to religious fervor
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Jun 1, 2014 18:38
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Of course! All dogs go to heaven, even the ones who were jerk faces in animated movies. The goats are another story. I'd have to say yes, by virtue of shouting at them. The horse too, though in the sense of "God dammit, if burying that thing wouldn't be such a hassle I'd wish it dead." It kicked my favorite goat and I can hold a grudge.
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Jun 4, 2014 08:21
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Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell.
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Jun 14, 2014 05:29
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No.
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Jun 14, 2014 05:48
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my conure is named Amadeus because like the great composer, he is a devout catholic.
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Jun 14, 2014 06:20
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When I was a child, I took one of my pet gerbils to a "blessing of the animals" at a local church. They blessed my gerbil. That's my story, hope you like it.
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Jun 14, 2014 08:37
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Now that you mention it...St. Francis of Assisi posted:All things of creation are children of the Father and thus brothers of man. ... God wants us to help animals, if they need help. Every creature in distress has the same right to be protected.” “Not to hurt our humble brethren is our first duty to them, but to stop there is not enough. We have a higher mission - to be of service to them wherever they require it.” “If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who deal likewise with their fellow men." So there you have it, OP. But I still love eating chicken, so sorry animals.
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Jun 16, 2014 23:39
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Ema Nymton posted:But I still love eating chicken, so sorry animals. I think if you're friends with the chicken in the first place and agree over whiskey to feast upon the other's corpse once they die, it all works out in the end. In other news, drink with your chickens.
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Jun 17, 2014 05:57
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Whenever investigating loud sounds, this little poo poo of a cat is always there, perfectly still, staring back like I just interrupted a summoning ritual. Should I get the Catholic Church involved?
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Jun 27, 2014 15:41
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PicnicBasket posted:Whenever investigating loud sounds, this little poo poo of a cat is always there, perfectly still, staring back like I just interrupted a summoning ritual. Should I get the Catholic Church involved? I dunno, man. Getting the papacy behind an exorcism takes years.
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Jun 27, 2014 16:32
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GabrielAisling posted:I dunno, man. Getting the papacy behind an exorcism takes years. I don't want to let this get out of hand, though. Are there any intermediate blessings/rituals that would hinder any negative entities the cat is trying to interact with while we wait for the papacy to get behind us on this?
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Jun 28, 2014 01:07
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PicnicBasket posted:I don't want to let this get out of hand, though. Are there any intermediate blessings/rituals that would hinder any negative entities the cat is trying to interact with while we wait for the papacy to get behind us on this? Try voodoo. They tend to have much more open schedules.
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Jun 28, 2014 17:58
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grack posted:Try voodoo. They tend to have much more open schedules. That's more for inflicting than removing negative energy. Or bringing a pet back when you accidentally back over it in the driveway. Then all you need is a quick go with an air compressor or bicycle pump to get the body back in to the proper shape and no-one need ever know until the rot sets in. PicnicBasket posted:I don't want to let this get out of hand, though. Are there any intermediate blessings/rituals that would hinder any negative entities the cat is trying to interact with while we wait for the papacy to get behind us on this? Dunk the little perisher in a bath of holy water. If it spits and fights like mad, you know it's purging whatever evil is possessing your cat.
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Jun 28, 2014 18:33
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Neddy Seagoon posted:Dunk the little perisher in a bath of holy water. Not quite sure if this is sound advice, as cats are well-known haters of water. Please don't make me drown my cat.
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Jun 28, 2014 23:51
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My dog licks her butt then licks my face. I like it.
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Jun 29, 2014 01:45
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God doesn't exist and by extension neither do dogs
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Jul 9, 2014 16:00
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thatbastardken posted:God doesn't exist and by extension neither do dogs *quotes yourlogicalfallacyis.com @ u, smirks underneath fedora*
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Jul 9, 2014 16:30
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Literally euphoric right now.
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Jul 10, 2014 01:56
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I'm pretty sure at least one of my dogs is god, so, probably pretty close seeing as 3 of them are within a 4 foot radius of my desk.
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Jul 10, 2014 17:28
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My dog thinks her name is "goddammit Ally", so probably pretty close. 
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Jul 10, 2014 22:15
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