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sleepingbuddha posted:I really wanted to like this, I love pirates and Malkovich. Which is why I'm wondering how they managed to make this so drat boring? Black Sails is Starz, but I was under the impression that premium movie channels had a smaller budget to work with than most mainstream TV networks like NBC, CBS, etcetera.
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Jun 2, 2014 22:03
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Black Sails also only did eight episodes; Crossbones seems to have 10, so the money is spread a little thinner, too. But I get the impression that Black Sails just overall has a more experienced and capable crew.
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Jun 2, 2014 23:07
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eriktown posted:Black Sails also only did eight episodes; Crossbones seems to have 10, so the money is spread a little thinner, too. But I get the impression that Black Sails just overall has a more experienced and capable crew. And whomever they hired to do the score should be removed from the show. This is basically Cutthroat Island: The Series
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Jun 2, 2014 23:50
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I really wanted to like this but can't. Every woman on the show is the same. There are bits of action here and there but immediately everyone stops and talks, and talks, and talks; then it cuts to a non-action scene with talking. It feels like the actors are being paid by the word. The writing is generic, the characters are generic, the show is crap.
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Jun 4, 2014 07:07
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Lumberjack Bonanza posted:It's always a pleasure to see John Malkovich, even in poo poo like this. Good news, after the first episode or two reviewers say he's barely in the show at all! 
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Jun 6, 2014 18:22
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precision posted:Good news, after the first episode or two reviewers say he's barely in the show at all! lol, gently caress this dumb show.
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Jun 6, 2014 18:37
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Ehud posted:I hated how little violence they showed. The fight at the beginning felt so tame. Every time someone was stabbed or Unless HBO or AMC makes a pirate show (God I hope it's not AMC) we'll never get a proper one. eriktown posted:gently caress. Yes. I need to catch up on that show. The last episodes I saw before it got removed off Hulu I think was the pirate king episodes. Blazing Ownager fucked around with this message at 00:21 on Jun 7, 2014 |
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Jun 7, 2014 00:19
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The show cut away, so perhaps I missed something, but did Malkovich stab a guy in the neck out of spite and then try to question him?
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Jun 7, 2014 03:43
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Blazing Ownager posted:Unless HBO or AMC makes a pirate show (God I hope it's not AMC) we'll never get a proper one. Have you tried Black Sails?
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Jun 7, 2014 04:21
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Yeah I think I'm out. This show is just too dumb/nonsensical, which would be fine if it also didn't take itself so seriously so often. But it seriously feels like every other scene has something inexplicably stupid in it, like the ship crew with hoods on their heads. Because you know, otherwise they'd be able to figure out how to get to this mysterious island presumably in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the day. From all the ocean landmarks that they'd be able to recognize. Also maybe I'm just missing something, but I don't understand how a chronometer is going to forever stop piracy. The whole show is treating the ocean like it's some kind of city, and piracy only happens because ships are awful at navigating it and stumble into the wrong neighborhood.
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Jun 7, 2014 05:39
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Yeah, gently caress this show. Longitude is actually a good conceit for a naval show - it was the late 1700s equivalent of GPS - but there is zero reason for a pirate to care about it unless (as in Black Sails) he's trying to ascertain the location of a cargo, Basically, Black Sails makes more sense than this crappy show without actually trying. Ugh.
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Jun 7, 2014 08:27
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Blackbeard was way better in Black Sails
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Jun 7, 2014 19:12
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I really wanted this to be good, but it's not, though. It's utter poo poo! Even John Malkovich is murdering his lines. Did they put Britta in charge of this show, because this is a total buzzkill!
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Jun 7, 2014 21:00
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HUGE SPACEKABLOOIE posted:Blackbeard was way better in Black Sails too many pubes
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Jun 8, 2014 07:13
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I liked the interaction between Malkovich and that other pirate captain that he knew from way back - their tense conversations were alright. That being said another really hammy ghost scene and the huge fuckin' wink revealing what we already knew (Blackbeard was screwing over his old pirate pal without being made to look like the bad guy or a tyrant.. which was clever enough on its own without the big stupid wink shot) were both so over the top that they might as well be filming a parody movie. Why not just have him look at the guy and give a very slight grin before walking away? This show is all over the place and none of it is that good. Tried to give it a shot but if Malkovich really isn't in the rest of the season then there's no point to watch it at all, really. Orange Carlisle fucked around with this message at 19:03 on Jun 8, 2014 |
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Jun 8, 2014 19:00
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Mr. Carlisle posted:but if Malkovich really isn't in the rest of the season then there's no point to watch it at all, really. Especially given how much they crutch marketed the show on Malkovich. One think to market the poo poo out of a big-name actor to promote your show, entirely another to basically lie to your demographic.
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Jun 8, 2014 19:55
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I'm still tuning into this for the hilarious Malkovich performance. If that's true and they cut back on him, Lemon out.
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Jun 8, 2014 21:53
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life is killing me posted:Especially given how much they crutch marketed the show on Malkovich. One think to market the poo poo out of a big-name actor to promote your show, entirely another to basically lie to your demographic. Yeah, they've put him on everything: 
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Jun 9, 2014 03:15
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Mr. Carlisle posted:Yeah, they've put him on everything: Dudes knew the show sucked, that's why Malkovich.
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Jun 9, 2014 03:27
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I'm pretty sure Blackbeard had a katana in that scene.
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Jun 22, 2014 01:56
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Was the most recent episode any better or is there no one still watching?
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Jun 22, 2014 03:01
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There are lesser-watched showed with busier threads than this one. If any goon is watching this poo poo, they ain't posting in here.
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Jun 22, 2014 03:18
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Mr. Carlisle posted:Was the most recent episode any better or is there no one still watching? No it's still pretty much a complete mess with no clear flow to anything, scenes that just kind of happen with no setup or explanation, and about a half dozen things that are inexplicably dumb. Like, I'd say a solid third of the episode just doesn't even attempt to make any kind of logical sense.
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Jun 22, 2014 04:12
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Yeah this show definitely happened like this "Okay, so pirates are a thing now, right?" "Sure, Black Sails did well." "So like, what I'm thinking is, wait, is Malkovich working on something? No? drat, his last movie was Knockaround Guys? Anyway, let's get him, put him in a pirate show." "That's it?" "We can just go off the pirates angle right?"
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Jun 22, 2014 04:48
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I have a friend trying to get me to watch this.quote:It's not as good as Hannibal, and y'know, I might just like it a lot cause there's some rad ships in it, but still you should put it on the sometime-list. I watched Black Sails, and at the time of watching was SO DISAPPOINTED. Every episode was a complete anti-climax, and the whole season amounted to the same. And, AND they never said th name's of their ships, which irked me. ANYWAY I thought(and I acknowledge that I'm jsut 1 man) that Crossbones was everything BS lacked, plus waaay more. Yeah so totally the polar opposite. I SO wanted BS to get good and it didn't. CB started great and is only getting better Does my friend just have terrible taste in TV?
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Jul 13, 2014 23:59
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Sub Rosa posted:I have a friend trying to get me to watch this. Yes.
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Jul 14, 2014 00:12
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Sub Rosa posted:I have a friend trying to get me to watch this. The worst.
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Jul 14, 2014 14:29
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No true friend would ask you to watch this dreck. Are they mad at you for some reason? What did you do?
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Jul 14, 2014 19:23
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Sub Rosa posted:I have a friend trying to get me to watch this. If you've already seen Black Sails there isn't really anything in Crossbones for you because it will feel like a terribly done almost parody. Even Malkovich is wasted and not worth watching this show for. I say this as someone that enjoys pirate movies/shows and will watch just about anything involving them. Until someone bumped the thread after it fell five or more pages back I forgot this show was still on. Or is it not still on? Either way it's a waste from top to bottom unfortunately. Orange Carlisle fucked around with this message at 02:02 on Jul 16, 2014 |
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Jul 16, 2014 02:00
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eriktown posted:Black Sails also only did eight episodes; Crossbones seems to have 10, so the money is spread a little thinner, too. But I get the impression that Black Sails just overall has a more experienced and capable crew. Pretty much Black Sails has the better overall production and more interesting overall concept while Crossbones was pretty much a wreck of the show that isn't a afraid to use the ol' bait&switch trick.
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Jul 16, 2014 02:08
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