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Doppelganger

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

dogcrash truther posted:

whats the most hosed up thing you've ever seen? (don't lie)
Incest, child abuse, battered women

A 500 lb guy sitting in a recliner full of poo poo. It looked like he laid down in a chocolate wedding cake.

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Slaapaav

by Azathoth

Iggy Koopa posted:

i have a criminal record is all

you are gonna fit very well into a professional kithen then

ChairmanMeow

Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!

Slaapaav posted:

you are gonna fit very well into a professional kithen then
please do not try to get inside a kitten, professional or otherwise

dogcrash truther

Doppelganger posted:

Incest, child abuse, battered women

A 500 lb guy sitting in a recliner full of poo poo. It looked like he laid down in a chocolate wedding cake.

I don't understand how you could keep doing that job

Awesome!

Ready for adventure!


ChairmanMeow posted:

please do not try to get inside a kitten, professional or otherwise

:catstare:

Kimmalah

Basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.


dogcrash truther posted:

I don't understand how you could keep doing that job

You never know, maybe the guy actually did sit on a wedding cake.

Doppelganger

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

dogcrash truther posted:

I don't understand how you could keep doing that job
Cops are way less likely to write you tickets, you accumulate cool stories, and you get free coffee at a lot of places.

i am he

Doppelganger posted:

Cops are way less likely to write you tickets, you accumulate cool stories, and you get free coffee at a lot of places.

oh, well, in that case, i completely understand

Bo-Pepper

Want some rye?
Course ya do!

professional kitten got poo poo to do

i am he

*picks up pieces of obese man covered in poo poo whose limbs are rotting off, saves young girl's liife from a horrific car accident, attempts to console another victim of domestic abuse, now sipping on coffee with a friend* How do you do it man? That sounds horrible.

Well, see this coffee? it was free, so

Ace of Baes
i actually plan on doing this while i go to school, after i get out of the army, are you emt-b, i, or p? are you fire1&2 too?

Kayle7

Little solace comes
to those who grieve
when thoughts keep drifting
as walls keep shifting
and this great blue world of ours
seems a house of leaves
moments before the wind.
SID dude :) quit weed for 2 months, then apply for wal-mart. Take your drug test then immediately start smoking again, I fuckin guarantee they'll take you, they take the worst scum I've ever seen, especially for the overnight stocking positions.

Next, I'm sure your canada country gives some school financial aide, take it and go learn a trade. I'm learning WELDING, plz refer to my thread before. this is all working for me and holy poo poo welding is p cool man. you should do it, you get to use a huge machine that's literally called a plasma cutter.

Ace of Baes
sid just do temp work in construction or whatever and as long as you show up on time and do the job the company will hire you after at the most a few months, poo poo crack heads can get jobs as day labor temps

Kayle7

Little solace comes
to those who grieve
when thoughts keep drifting
as walls keep shifting
and this great blue world of ours
seems a house of leaves
moments before the wind.

Nacho Destroyer posted:

sid just do temp work in construction or whatever and as long as you show up on time and do the job the company will hire you after at the most a few months, poo poo crack heads can get jobs as day labor temps

seriously sid you seem like a pretty upstanding guy, don't apply for places like that, they just ignore you . go find a temp agency, get all signed up, go work for a concrete business. you carry huge, heavy bags of concrete and stuff. makes you buff, you work with either crackheads, retards, or guys who don't speak english, but you get payed. And since you speak english and are presumably white, you can move up in the company eventually if you choose that as your career

ChairmanMeow

Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!

Kayle7 posted:

SID dude :) quit weed for 2 months, then apply for wal-mart. Take your drug test then immediately start smoking again, I fuckin guarantee they'll take you, they take the worst scum I've ever seen, especially for the overnight stocking positions.

Next, I'm sure your canada country gives some school financial aide, take it and go learn a trade. I'm learning WELDING, plz refer to my thread before. this is all working for me and holy poo poo welding is p cool man. you should do it, you get to use a huge machine that's literally called a plasma cutter.

my mom works for wal mart as overnight stock :(

Awesome!

Ready for adventure!


lots of old russian women work overnight stock at mine

Ace of Baes
please post more about working night shift ems

Ramsus

by Hand Knit
I thought it was a pretty competitive job market with lovely pay kind of like firefighter. And depending on where you live you may be really busy, especially with budget cuts.

Doppelganger

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Nacho Destroyer posted:

please post more about working night shift ems
EMT-B, no fire. Unless you live in Washington state, very few cities pay even halfway decent. I'm honestly amazed people are willing to do it in most parts of the country.

Is there anything in particular you'd like to hear about, or just random thoughts?

People like to commit suicide in their closets.

I wish tv and movies would stop making people think that putting a drunk/overdosing person in the shower will magically revive them.

A lot of people on the road don't give two shits about ambulances trying to pass them.

Awesome!

Ready for adventure!


have you ever been in an accident because an rear end in a top hat driver won't yield to you

Doppelganger

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Awesome! posted:

have you ever been in an accident because an rear end in a top hat driver won't yield to you
Only been in one accident, but I wasn't driving. My partner changed lanes too quickly and the person who rear ended us was going way too fast.

Doppelganger

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
Many close calls though. I'm honestly more worried about people swerving out of my way and hitting someone else.

Ace of Baes

Doppelganger posted:

EMT-B, no fire. Unless you live in Washington state, very few cities pay even halfway decent. I'm honestly amazed people are willing to do it in most parts of the country.

Is there anything in particular you'd like to hear about, or just random thoughts?

People like to commit suicide in their closets.

I wish tv and movies would stop making people think that putting a drunk/overdosing person in the shower will magically revive them.

A lot of people on the road don't give two shits about ambulances trying to pass them.

as an emt b, are you usually your P's bitch

Doppelganger

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Nacho Destroyer posted:

as an emt b, are you usually your P's bitch
No, my partner is :cool:. I can usually anticipate what he wants me to do, but he always asks nicely when he needs something. There are a few paramedics who treat their basics like the lower class, but nobody likes them.

Ace of Baes
do any people at your station/ems center work part time, or like weekends? i'm thinking about it as a part time gig while going to school full time

Doppelganger

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Nacho Destroyer posted:

do any people at your station/ems center work part time, or like weekends? i'm thinking about it as a part time gig while going to school full time
Most of the people who do it part time have another full time EMS/medical job. It takes a semester to get your Basic patch. Are you planning on going to school for nursing, or medical school or something?

Awesome!

Ready for adventure!


any good stories about people getting large objects stuck in their rear end?

Doppelganger

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Awesome! posted:

any good stories about people getting large objects stuck in their rear end?
No, I felt really left out of that last EMS threadstravaganza in GBS because I haven't had any yet :(. Only been doing it 2 years. I've had a good number of illness-related rectal bleeds though.

Ace of Baes

Doppelganger posted:

Most of the people who do it part time have another full time EMS/medical job. It takes a semester to get your Basic patch. Are you planning on going to school for nursing, or medical school or something?

im planning on school for biology but ive been NREMT-B certified for almost 4 years now because i'm a medic in the army and we have to stay civilian certified

Awesome!

Ready for adventure!


Doppelganger posted:

No, I felt really left out of that last EMS threadstravaganza in GBS because I haven't had any yet :(. Only been doing it 2 years. I've had a good number of illness-related rectal bleeds though.

what sort of non-ebola illnesses cause rectal bleeding

Doppelganger

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Nacho Destroyer posted:

im planning on school for biology but ive been NREMT-B certified for almost 4 years now because i'm a medic in the army and we have to stay civilian certified
Check out the EMS thread in The Goon Doctor. Like I said, in most parts of the country EMS pays poo poo. If you only need a supplemental income, definitely check out the services in your area. Beware of private companies, because you'll probably be mostly running old/obese people to and from doctors' appointments. A municipal service will be running more emergencies. But it really all depends on where you live.

Awesome! posted:

what sort of non-ebola illnesses cause rectal bleeding
Cancer, crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis... it's not necessarily bleeding directly from the anus, you can have a bleed anywhere in your GI tract. Red blood will be from somewhere closer to the colon. Dark, tarry stools indicate the blood has been partially digested and came from farther back.

Looke

Awesome! posted:

what sort of non-ebola illnesses cause rectal bleeding

cokebottleintheanusitis
perforated bowel

Doppelganger

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
One time we had a guy who burned his hand from a grease fire. A lot of the outer layer of skin was already starting to kinda slough off, like if you dipped your hand in a jar of melted wax, let it dry, and peeled it off.

Him: *points to his hand* So is this stuff my skin?
Me: It was your skin.

Awesome!

Ready for adventure!


Looke posted:

cokebottleintheanusitis
:ohdear: im going to die

Looke

Awesome! posted:

:ohdear: im going to die

It's metastasized to your penis. I'm sorry.

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Awesome!

Ready for adventure!


i knew it was looking funny lately

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