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I ordered a few of these when I would hear about a match on one of the newz sites that looked fun. They aired on Wednesdays and generally costs about $10, so it wasn't too big of a hit to give a few of the weekly shows a shot. I would mainly get a show to see some of the x division stuff since those matches always popped up on highlights videos I would download online. They were usually a let down of a show because an advertised match either wouldn't happen or go down with a screw finish in order to get you to buy next week. It never really worked and I would just not buy another show for awhile. Being a teenager at the time that loved wrestling, it was a strange time period with both ECW and WCW closed. I bought some ppvs that I would never think of buying these days, like a few of these weeklies and a WWA show where the main event was Jeff Jarrett vs Grandmaster Sexay.
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Oct 14, 2014 15:10
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TNA #5: A Good Day To TNA PART 3 Goldi is backstage with K-Krush. She's about to ask why he beat Norman Smiley down after their match, but he cuts her off and threatens to start slapping her around. SCOTT HALL TACKLES HIM OUT OF NOWHERE. He beats him down for about two seconds and strides off. Tenay claims that it's a case of "two down, one to go" on his revenge list - Brian Lawler and Jeff Jarrett being the other two. I'm not sure that counts as a beatdown worthy of crossing K-Krush off the list. 4. Midget Match: Meatball vs Puppet More midget wrestling, joy of joys. Meatball is billed as "the world's largest midget" and stands a towering 4'5". He brings a trolley of food down to ringside and takes a big bag of cheetos into the ring with him. He's also got a fork which will probably be used at some point. Puppet kicks things off with a trash can shot to the head and some sort of van daminator. Meatball throws him to the outside and comes off the apron with an axe handle. They battle up the ramp and Meatball takes a cream pie from his trolley of food, smashing it into Puppet's face. What is the point of this match? Puppet avoids a pineapple shot and hits a low blow, before dropping a big bag of sugar over Meatball's neck. That might be the most painful food-related spot I've ever seen. MELON TO THE FACE! They've really cracked down on those since the Benoit incident. Puppet busts out the more conventional weapons again, including a trashcan lid and a chair. He climbs ALL THE WAY UP to the top of the ring steps and hits a tornado DDT off them. He makes the cover (this is falls count anywhere apparently) but only gets two. They head back into the ring and Puppet hits a guillotine legdrop, followed by a splash from the middle rope - with a chair placed on Meatball's torso - for three. Winner: Puppet 0.5/5 - This should been given two minutes, max. Instead it went for six or seven, but at least they put an effort in. Puppet walks to the back and passes one of the dancing cages, in which Teo is still grinding on the girl inside. Puppet throws a dirty look and heads to the back. Teo rips off the girl's top and waves it to the crowd as she covers up in shame. Ferrara and West cheer him for this. Jasmin St. Claire is out selling the effects of her earlier beating at the hands of Francine. She calls the ECW alumnus out right now. Francine comes a'runnin'. 5. Jasmin St. Claire vs Francine They cat fight on the floor for a little while and Jasmin rips off Francine's top. Francine, in turn, rips off Jasmin's skirt. I don't think this is going to be the five-star classic we all hoped for, folks. The camera shows a couple of horrendous middle-aged men in the first row waving dollar bills in the air. Francine takes off her belt and starts whipping the poo poo out of Jasmin. Suddenly somebody I don't quite recognise hits the ring. Holy poo poo, apparently it's The Blue Meanie! He's looking trim! Tenay explains that he's Jasmin's boyfriend (bullshit)...and he STRAIGHT UP MURDERS FRANCINE WITH A DDT! Wow, I was expecting him to shove her out of the ring or something, not that. I guess Francine wins by DQ. Winner: Francine NA/5 - Didn't go long enough to have a rating, which is lucky because I'd have given it a DUD. Meanie carries Jasmin to the back and is booed all the way. EMTs (and Ed Ferrara) help load Francine onto a stretcher. West puts over Ferrara's genuine concern as proof that Francine's injury is serious. Tenay puts on his best Owen Hart voice and throws to Goldi in the back. Goldi is with Low Ki and begins to ask her a question. He says "I do my talking in the ring" and leaves. What a segment. 6. TNA X-Division Championship: AJ Styles (c) vs Low Ki The pair begin with some intense mat wrestling before standing and exchanging chops, then leg kicks. Low Ki ducks a head kick and takes AJ down, but Styles rolls him over and rains down some punches. Quite a strong-style match here, everything looking stiff and fairly realistic. Everyone in the crowd gets distracted by something and turns around, missing a kick to the face from Low Ki. The challenger busts out some Mongolian chops, a move I've only ever seen in the CAW section of Smackdown games. He whips AJ into the corner and goes for a cartwheel, but Styles springs out and dropkicks him mid-flip! He hits a beautiful dropkick and a standing senton, but Low Ki fights back with a vicious array of kicks. Tenay pimps Ki's upcoming appearance at Ring Of Honor, "a real hot independent show coming up in Philadelphia". So patronising, so deliciously ironic. They battle to the apron and Styles knocks Low Ki to the floor with a discus clothesline, before missing a springboard moonsault as the challenger rolls out of the way. The champ stuns Low Ki and dashes into the ring, looking for a suicide dive back to the outside...but LOW KI JUMPS UP AND KICKS HIM AS HIS HEAD COMES THROUGH THE ROPES! Very nice! They battle on the apron once more, only for Low Ki to scuttle inside and apply his dragon clutch through the ropes, kind of like Tajiri's tarantula. The ref breaks it up and AJ kicks out of the ensuing pinfall attempt at two. Styles hits his springboard/inverted-DDT thing for two, before charging the challenger in the corner, but Low Ki flashes a superkick into his face at lightning speed. He runs...straight into a fast powerslam from AJ. Oh poo poo! Styles hits a very delayed brainbustah~! but is slow to make the cover, allowing the challenger to just about kick out in time. They head to the top rope and Ki tries for a superplex, but AJ pushes him facefirst down to the mat. Styles stands up...and misses with the spiral tap! Low Ki makes the cover but AJ kicks out. Low Ki sets Styles up for the Ki crusher...but runs him into the opposite turnbuckle instead! Ouch. Oh he keeps him up there! He goes for the crusher this time...BUT STYLES COUNTERS INTO A MASSIVE DDT! It only gets two. Ki hits hits cartwheel enziguri and heads up top. He attempts some kind of corkscrew but lands on AJ's shoulders! The champ lowers him down and hits the Styles clash for three! Fantastic finish. Winner and STILL TNA X-Division Champion: AJ Styles 4/5 - Not the longest or most epic of title matches, but one executed to near perfection. I was originally going to only give this 3.5/5, but the finishing spot was great enough to push it into 4 star territory. Great work from these two yet again. AJ heads up the ramp and roars in triumph...but here comes Jerry Lynn from the back with a vicious spear! He drags him to the ring and hits a big piledriver (not his usual cradle variation, just a straight-up piledriver). Lynn heads under the ring and grabs the ladder from the Sabu vs Malice match earlier, propping it in the corner and smashing Styles into it with a sickening overhead suplex. Oh he's not done! A shitload of mounted punches follow, as well as a second suplex - this one dropping AJ gut-first onto the ladder. Legdrop to the back of the head. Jesus. This is a vicious beatdown. Lynn promises that AJ will respect him and heads to the back. Tenay begins to hype the next match...but Jerry comes back down for more! DDT onto the ladder, ouch. Cradle piledriver, and FINALLY that's enough. That was a five minute beatdown, just big move after big move. If AJ shows up next week I'm calling bullshit. Tenay claims he will be there however, as the pair are obliged to defend their tag titles. Tenay also finally announces that next weeks Shamrock vs Sabu title match will be contested under the Ladder stipulation. But also under a Submission stipulation as well, because the NWA top brass wanted that thrown in too apparently. What!? Why can't they just stick with one or the other? So it's a Ladder Or Submission match next week for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. Really catchy.
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Oct 15, 2014 00:00
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Good work on the thread. I hope the continual TNA bullshit does not drive you insane. No bullshit though Meanie and Jasmin were dating till about 2005 I think.
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Oct 15, 2014 01:13
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Charles Gnarwin posted:I knew that Panda saved them, but the fact that anyone (even Dixie) saw these shows and said, "Worth my money" is insane. Daddy could have just bought her any other fed and then tried to secure a TV deal without all the baggage of jacking off midgets and racist NASCAR drivers. In some insane alternate reality, Dixie Carter owns CZW.
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Oct 15, 2014 01:35
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Writer Cath posted:In some insane alternate reality, Dixie Carter owns CZW. That's not an alternate reality, that's February, 2015.
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Oct 15, 2014 01:41
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JGKing posted:Holy poo poo, apparently it's The Blue Meanie! He's looking trim! Tenay explains that he's Jasmin's boyfriend (bullshit) That's actually legit.
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Oct 15, 2014 02:55
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Yeah, she actually did appearances with Meanie in ECW right before the end as well.
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Oct 15, 2014 03:07
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Leading to my favourite Rhino promo which goes something along the lines of 'I would rather put this bitch through a table than have her suck my cock!'
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Oct 15, 2014 03:18
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The Ladder or Submission match! The first in a great long list of TNA innovations. Also, maybe we could keep a running count on examples of man on woman violence.
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Oct 15, 2014 06:57
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Pet Rock Band posted:The Ladder or Submission match! The first in a great long list of TNA innovations. Would these attacks qualify people for the bwo?
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Oct 15, 2014 20:10
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Great thread. Really enjoying reading through these. I have recently been watching Tna from the beginning of the weekly PPVs and could not believe what a car crash it became so quickly. I am in awe of your perseverance, especially if you can endure through the emergence of Russo and the chaos that ensues. I have loved reading everything so far and have also read through the WWE thread as well. Could anyone send me a link to the older TNA ppv thread mentioned. I would love to read that also but sadly can't find it anywhere. Thanks in advance if anyone can help me. - Never mind - I stumbled across it in the archives.- Keep up the good work and serious kudos for such consistently amusing posts. Tgspectre fucked around with this message at 16:44 on Oct 24, 2014 |
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Oct 21, 2014 19:28
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TNA #5: A Good Day To TNA Part 4 It's main event time, the match everybody's been dreaming of - Brian Lawler vs Scott Hall. Fantastic. Lawler is out first to chants of "Jerry's kid, Jerry's kid". He says he's going to reveal a few facts about his dad. Fact number 1: Jerry Lawler has been married three times, and each wife was younger than Brian himself. He calls it sickening. Fact number 2 ("and this is a shoot"): Brian left a ticket for Jerry to sit in the crowd and watch his son wrestle - but he's not here. Every Wednesday night he likes to hang out at the local high school with a fistful of candies. WOW! Jeeeeez. Fact number 3: this story involves Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, and Vince McMahon. Hall's music hits and cuts off Brian, but Lawler demands it's silenced so he can continue to rant. Hall sneaks out of the crowd and stand behind Lawler for an awkwardly long time. They really stretch it out long past the point of entertainment (see the image at the top of the post), as Brian rants and raves for a good minute or so before finally turning around into a big right hand. 7. Brian Lawler vs Scott Hall Hall beats Lawler to the outside and hurls him onto the announce table. Tenay uses the phrase "right in front of us!" way too many times. We get it, they're right in front of you. Scott beats him around the outside for a while, which the commentators sell as the most exciting thing ever. Don West calls it "unreal", but it looks like a standard one-sided beatdown to me. Lawler finally turns the tide by snatching a purse from the front row and smashing it over Scott's head a few times. Back in the ring, Brian heels it up more by biting Hall's forehead and dropping a headbutt into his groin. The ref is phoning this in apparently. A snap suplex into a pinfall attempt gets two, and Lawler heads to the outside to grab a mic. He says that anybody chanting "Jerry's kid" can kiss Jerry's kid's rear end. Instead of dropping the mic he casually lobs it into the air. I like that. Not sure about TNA's growing obsession with their wrestlers cutting mid-match promos though. Lawler ducks a discus clothesline and hits a superkick, but Scott cuts him off before he can hit the Hip Hop Drop. A big fallaway slam really pleases Don West, whose incessant face-cheering has been particularly annoying in this match. Hall sets up for the Razor's Edge, but K-Krush hits the ring to save his buddy. He's easily dealt with after only a few right hands, allowing Scott to hit his finisher and pick up the win. Winner: Scott Hall 1/5 - Really not sure what the point of this was. Pretty bad in-ring action, capped off by the least successful run in ever by K-Krush. Hall was barely trying to put on a show, although Lawler did sell well and heel it up consistently, so minor props for that. Hall gets his hand raised and shrugs his shoulders because he's really cool. Krush hits the ring and gets set up for the Razor's Edge, but Lawler saves him by hitting Scott with a few low blows. Krush takes off his belt and the heels lift it into Hall's crotch, before Krush chokes him out with it. Security come out to break it up and escort the pair to the back, while Hall is loaded onto a stretcher. A stretcher job for THAT!? The commentators sell the brutality of that very short beatdown. Ferrara: "yeah his spit was all over that camera lens for a while." They wheel him up the ramp and here comes another paramedic with a steel chair...but WAIT! THAT'S NO PARAMEDIC! Of course it's Jeff Jarrett, who starts laying out EMTs with his chair, before cracking a prone Hall over the head. West wonders how the HELL Jarrett got back in the building. Tenay snaps back "well he was disguised as a paramedic OBVIOUSLY!". I'd just like to point out that there's nothing at all covering Jeff's face. He's wearing all white and that's it. There's no way you could mistake him for anybody else - I realised it was Jarrett immediately. Security run down the ramp and confront Jeff one at a time, which of course ends with him laying each out in turn. Tenay and West scream that they're out of time and they've got to go. What a fantastic ending you guys. This is the third show in a row which has ended with Jarrett going nuts and taking out hordes of people with a steel chair. How are they getting away with such ridiculous booking? Summary to follow.
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Nov 1, 2014 01:00
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I also just want to thank you guys for the awesome feedback, and apologise for the long time in between updates. Pet Rock Band and Junpei Hyde, I think we can safely induct the Blue Meanie into the White World Order for his vicious assault on a woman. He'll be in a misogynistic league of his own for the time being alongside the racist wWo Hollywhite and homophobic wWo Straightpac divisions. Name suggestions?
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Nov 1, 2014 01:04
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The Nation of Misogynation.
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Nov 1, 2014 18:32
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Yes.
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Nov 1, 2014 18:44
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TNA #5: A GOOD DAY TO TNA SUMMARY Match Of The Night AJ Styles vs Low Ki - A fantastic match, probably the best we've seen in this thread so far. The finish seemed outrageously difficult to execute and they did it anyway. Wrestler Of The Night 1. Low Ki - This boy can go. Worked with AJ to put on a memorable match and showcased more of his unique style. 2. AJ Styles - Shaded by Low Ki but only just, AJ delivered with a top notch showing. A great performance as always from the champ. 3. Elix Skipper - Snatches third spot again with an MVP showing in the tag match. Defied gravity in one particular spot. 4. Sonny Siaki - Utilised his strength and power very well, but points deducted for his weak mid-match promo skills on commentary. 5. Chris Daniels - Suffered from a limited role, but did everything asked of him very well. Estrada would have probably been on here in place of Daniels if he hadn't botched a few of his moves. In a similar vein, Sabu turned in an above average performance in the opening ladder match, hindered by occasional sloppiness. Wrestler Of The "1st Tenth" Standings 1. AJ Styles - 18 2. Low Ki - 16 3. Jerry Lynn - 10 4. Chris Daniels - 6 Elix Skipper - 6 5. Jimmy Yang - 5 6. David Young - 4 7. Sonny Siaki - 3 8. Psicosis - 2 Lenny - 2 Brian Lawler - 2 9. Apollo - 1 AJ and Low Ki are rocketing ahead here. Can anybody catch them? TNA #5: A Good Day To TNA - 5/10 For the second show in a row, TNA turns in its best performance so far! At this rate we'll be hitting 10/10 in five weeks time, fo' sho'. AJ vs Low Ki was obviously very good, as was the tag match between the Elvises and Daniels/Skipper. The opening ladder match, although sloppy, was pretty entertaining (and had the benefit of a particularly hot crowd due to Sabu's surprising début). Unfortunately everything else on the show was garbage, including the main event - a costly factor which really costs the overall score. Hall and Lawler were clearly phoning it in and ended the entire show on a huge downer, while non-events like the midget match and Francine vs Jasmin ensured that no momentum could be gained. In order to improve substantially, TNA needs to get its most talented performers out of this "X-Division" and further up the card. In truth, the whole concept of the X-Division seems like an excuse to keep Jarrett, Hall and co. at the top of the card instead of using them to put over deserving young talents. Let the flippy guys fight each other and they'll barely upset the status quo. Guitars Smashed: 0
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Nov 2, 2014 03:30
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JGKing posted:Every Wednesday night he likes to hang out at the local high school with a fistful of candies. WOW! Jeeeeez. Ha ha,  Do Lawler and his son get on these days?
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Nov 3, 2014 00:47
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MysticalMachineGun posted:Ha ha, They released a song together called Puppies.
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Nov 3, 2014 00:51
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Gonzo McFee posted:They released a song together called Puppies.
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Nov 3, 2014 01:16
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Endorph posted:Which is the worst crime Jerry Lawler's ever committed. Jerry "The Savile" Lawler.
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Nov 3, 2014 01:39
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