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it's fine if there are multiples
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Oct 23, 2014 18:50
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chunkles posted:it's fine if there are multiples Yeah, mine sucks and I forgot Kyle Anderson. Part of the fun of this is seeing how irrationally homer people are about various aspects of their team. If there's a guy out there upset that Curry is taking shots away from Klay I want him to do one.
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Oct 23, 2014 21:11
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I'd love to do an overly optimistic Portland preview, but school has me way too slammed right now, so someone else will have to for me.
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Oct 23, 2014 21:36
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Los Angeles Lakers, 2014 Head Coach Byron Scott   _________________________________________________________________ PG Steve Nash   _________________________________________________________________ SF Wesley Johnson   _________________________________________________________________ PF Carlos Boozer   _________________________________________________________________ C Jordan Hill   _________________________________________________________________ PG Jeremy Lin   _________________________________________________________________ PF Julius Randle   _________________________________________________________________ SF Nick Young   _________________________________________________________________ PF Ryan Kelly   _________________________________________________________________ C Robert Sacre   _________________________________________________________________ SG Kobe Bean Bryant  
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Oct 23, 2014 21:44
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Your 2014-15 Charlotte Bobcats 2013-14 Summary People thought they were going to be bad, and they ended up being OK. Highlights: — Al Jefferson became the first Bobcat named to the All-NBA team. He's actually the second to get an MVP vote, though, since someone thought 2009-10 Stephen Jackson deserved consideration — Steve Clifford became the first good coach the Bobcats have ever had that wasn't also Larry Brown — They made the playoffs for the second time in 10 years and got powerbombed by the Heat 2014 Offseason — Announced the resignation of president of basketball operations Rod Higgins. Highlights of Rod's tenure include giving his son a roster spot and being friends with Michael Jordan. Rich Cho has been acting GM for a while, anyway, so good for him. — Signed Gordon Hayward to a four-year, $63M offer sheet for a four-year contract. Utah matched, saving me from having to justify that contract to myself and others. — Signed G Lance Stephenson to a three-year, $27M contract. Third year is a team option. — Signed Marvin Williams, Brian Roberts, Jason Maxiell; retained Jannero Pargo. Drafted Noah Vonleh (9th) and PJ Hairston (26th). Let Josh McRoberts leave in free agency despite a decent contract offer and lots of love letters. Luke Ridnour left without getting either. Almost exclusively signed and drafted shooters, which was probably a good call. Roster, in order of importance Al Jefferson  A lot of people hated the three-year, $41M contract the Bobcats gave to Al Jefferson last year, but it ended up working out OK. Jefferson did what he does, scoring 22 points and grabbing 11 rebounds a game and dragging Charlotte to the playoffs. He got a third-team All-NBA nod and a few MVP votes. He probably gets a little too much credit for last season, though. The offense was about the same, moving from 28th in the league to 24th, and almost all of the improvement came on defense. Swapping Jefferson in for the spastic Bismack Biyombo had something to do with that, but new coach Steve Clifford gets more credit than Al. The team added a lot of shooting in the offseason, though, and some of the younger players might be better. If Al keeps scoring, the offense could be decent. Lance Stephenson  Lance should be pretty good, but I think Hayward would have been a better fit. (Though Lance at $27M is obviously better than Hayward at $63M.) He adds a bunch of stuff they were already pretty decent at (rebounding, defense) and doesn't do much to fix the poo poo shooting in the starting lineup. Another playmaker to help take the load off Kemba will be nice, but I think instead of stopping Kemba from jacking up stupid shots it'll just be two different dudes jacking up twice as many stupid shots. Still better than Gerald Henderson, though, so it's a net plus. Kemba Walker  The best scorer in the league that can't shoot better than 40%. Improved as a playmaker last year as he learned to play with people that could occasionally make shots:  I think his passing makes another jump this year, but I doubt he's ever going to be an efficient scorer. DOES THE LITTLE THINGS, though, and rarely turns the ball over despite making the most passes in the league last year. Good enough to win with, but probably replaceable if they find a better option. Michael Kidd-Gilchrist  Fixed some of the issues with his jumper, which is nice. In the preseason, he's at least been giving it a go:  It's still not reliable, but he's peppering it in enough that he's getting better drives and looks. His defense is already pretty great for a third-year guy, he can legitimately guard 1-4, and he rebounds well. Hopefully his offense improves just enough that he can get full starter's minutes. Marvin Williams  Charlotte signed him to be the poor man's Josh McRoberts, which is kind of a sad phrase. It's possible the defense drops off significantly, since Marvin was apparently terrible defending power forwards in Utah, but Josh wasn't really a world-class defender either. If Marvin is athletic enough to defend the pick and roll, that should probably be enough. They'll also miss McRoberts' passing (4.3 assists per game), but Williams should be able to make up for 90% of his production. Plus he shoots threes well, and Jefferson getting double teams means he'll have a decent amount of open looks. Not a great signing, but he's just keeping the seat warm until Vonleh is ready to start in a few years. Gerald Henderson  Would have been a great player in the 70s but he can't shoot so they've been looking to dump him for the last two years. Will probably work better off the bench. Good defender, athletic, solid from mid-range, has Blacula hair. A decent bet to get traded at some point. Cody Zeller  He's athletic and runs fast but falls over a lot. Gets blocked a ton. Keeps trying a 20-foot jumper that he's never able to hit with consistency. If he ever mastered that he'd probably be a pretty good player, but that's a decent-sized if. Probably tops out at as an OK bench guy. Gary Neal  Was a nice spark-plug shooter/scorer off the bench for the Bobcats last year, but one of the worst defenders in the league by a handful of metrics including eyeballs. Should see reduced minutes with Henderson moving to the bench but Clifford loves him so maybe not. Fun when he's hitting shots, not fun when he's not. Brian Roberts  The Bobcats' top priority in the offseason was floor spacing, and Roberts should help with that:  Kemba's durable and plays heavy minutes, so Roberts should hopefully just sop up some bench time. He started 41 games for the Pelicans last year, but Charlotte will hopefully avoid that. PJ Hairston  J.R. Smith back from the dead, except worse in every way. Had a 3.8% assist rate in the D-League, which actually seems impossible for a guard. Shooting 45% from three in the preseason and should just bomb it every time he touches the ball. Recently paralyzed an elementary schooler with a sucker punch during a pickup game. My new favorite player. Bismack Biyombo  Good rebounder and shotblocker, but still can't score on anything but a dunk and is a surprisingly bad team defender for being a guy that basically only plays defense. Will probably get squeezed out sooner rather than later. It's too bad, he's fun. Does the Mutumbo finger wag whenever he does something good and says stuff like: quote:Center Bismack Biyombo has switched jersey numbers from 0 to 8. The reason? “Turn 8 on its side and you get infinity,” Biyombo said. Noah Vonleh  A weird prospect because he's both pretty raw and not a top-tier athlete, but he's got good wingspan and all that. Projects to be a very good defender with three-point range and some moves in the post. Odds are he doesn't figure all of that out, but it's nice that the Bobcats have some long-term, high-upside guys to develop while they're also pushing for playoff spots. Jeff Taylor Hit his girlfriend, probably getting cut. The Final Word They should be pretty good again. I also think they were supposed to get new jerseys, not sure if that happened or not. morestuff fucked around with this message at 22:16 on Oct 23, 2014 |
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Oct 23, 2014 22:04
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chunkles posted:Marcin Gortat
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Oct 23, 2014 22:09
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The New York Knicks PG Jose Calderon Pablo Prigioni Shane Larkin SG Iman Shumpert JR Smith Tim Hardaway JR SF Carmelo Anthony Quincy Acy Tim Hardaway JR Cleanthony Early PF Jason Smith Quincy Acy Amar'e Stoudemire Andrea Bargnani Center Samuel Dalembert Cole Aldrich Amar'e Stoudemire Jason Smith Garbagemen Shane Larkin Cleanthony Early Andrea Bargnani Travis Wear The Lakers Triangle Offense:  The Knicks Triangle Offense:  “Yeah, absolutely,” Smith said when asked if he has had to make a conscious effort to play differently. “I mean, believe it or not, being the type of player I’ve been, it’s a struggle. I’m not going to lie. “Trying to think about the rest of the team over myself or my scoring is something that I never really had to do before”  The Moment of Truth is when the Knicks are either 6 games within the first seed or 6 games ahead of the the 8th seed. 
Vanilla Mint Ice fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Oct 26, 2014 |
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Oct 26, 2014 22:02
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Since I'm going through teams rosters for Reasons I'll knock out a team or two that I don't think anyone else will. I'll just do the starting lineups unless somebody wants more. Atlanta Hawks The Hawks have made the playoffs 7 years running but never made it past the second round in that time. They let Josh Smith walk to Pistons, signalling the end of an era (of missed jumpshots). Nobody was really sure where they would end up but since they were in the fuckin' Eastern Conference it looked like they might very well be in the top 4 until Al Horford completely tore his right pectoral muscle. They still snagged the 8th playoff spot with a record of 38-44 and took the Pacers to 7 games. Their GM Danny Ferry is indefinitely suspended for reading a racist scouting report out loud. The owner is trying to sell the team. If Al Horford stays healthy they're one of the better teams in the East, if not they won't stay above .500. Nobody in Atlanta cares about any of this. Mike Budenholzer (HC) - One of the latest batch of Spurs assistants to land a head coaching position, but unlike most of them it seems like he's pretty good. Jeff Teague (PG) - Good PG who's not really a first option and struggled with the increased offensive load last season. He got to the line a lot more but his shooting dropped off. Ashton Kutcher (SG) - Kyle Korver has become one of the best shooting wings in the league. Hit well over 50 percent of his catch and shoot 3s last year. He doesn't create shots, but generates a lot of spacing with constant motion. DeMarre Carroll (SF) - I'll be honest I have no loving idea, he's okay I guess? Paul Millsap (PF) - Solid two-way PF who added a 3 point shot to his repertoire last season. Contract year for him. Al Horford (C) - One of the better power forwards in the league when healthy, except he's suffered a lot of weird injuries and because life is cruel he is always forced to play center. Bench: Pero Antic (C) - A 32 year old in his second year in the NBA. A center who takes a bunch of threes and makes 32% of them. chunkles fucked around with this message at 00:19 on Oct 29, 2014 |
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Oct 27, 2014 01:40
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chunkles posted:
Uhh, while his defensive problems are overblown, I don't think he meets the D in 3&D....
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Oct 27, 2014 16:42
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3&D guy now means wing player with shaky handles.
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Oct 27, 2014 16:57
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 The Owner: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8To-6VIJZRE wasn't sure what to expect from an in stadium perspective when he first bought the team...after doing a youtube deep dive...holy loving poo poo this guy is going to be the highlight of our season. he's perpetually acting like a coked out nerd who just had sex for the first time. I'm just imagining him at the hot dog stand telling rhonda "this is the greatest *voice gets high* flipping dog IVE HAD IN MY GOD DAMNED LIFE. This frank rhonda...let me tell you, ahem let me be frank...the mustard balance...exquisite...the ketchup presentation....tremendous...the sear...out of control...we're GOING PLACES RHONDA. Let me take you there" The Coach:  He's alright. Constantly talks about my guys and poo poo like that. Alvin Gentry is up in San Francisco and we have Lawrence Frank filling him as an assistant. A lot of the same actions are going to be there (Blake baseline screen, but with some new wrinkles). Doc has straight up admit that he's been running weird gameplans in the preseason so idk what change will be long term. _____________________________________________________ The Point Guard: Chris Paul  really good rear end in a top hat. i say this every year. i hope doc rests him so that he's not injured in the postseason for like the third straight year. needs to be at his best to beat Westbrook and Parker who are tough matchups for him. The Shooting Guards: JJ Redick and Jamal Crawford   Ebony and ivory right here. Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney (one is soulful as hell, one's a piece of poo poo who's gotten by on hard work and one skill) Jamal Crawford is one of the most entertaining players in the NBA and drains 4 point plays constantly. JJ Redick is a good shooter who is hurt all the time. We have some young guys to back them up. When healthy they can both absolutely destroy the net. The Small Forward: Matt Barnes?  Hello hello is anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me...I guess we have Chris Douglas Roberts too, but this is not a very good group of players. Barnes is dirty as gently caress and called him teammates a bad word last season, which was pretty chill. He needs to be serviceable and shoot the ball alright for the Clippers to be successful. Screaming for a midseason pick up at this position. The Power Forward: Blake Griffin  He dunk. He shoot. He funny. People on these forums hate him because he "stole" the dunk contest. Who cares. John Wall won last year with like two dunks. Nate Robinson won after missing a dunk like 30 loving times. The dunk contest has always been rigged. Probably one of the best 10 players in the NBA. Is a defensive liability in the paint, but is pretty good at ball denial and out on the perimeter. Now that he has to try more on offense he tries less on defense. Finished third in the MVP voting last season. The Centers: Deandre Jordan and Spencer Hawes   Deandre Jordan can jump high. Spencer Hawes can't jump. Deandre Jordan can't shoot. Spencer Hawes can shoot. Deandre Jordan is against gun violence. Spencer Hawes takes a poo poo with gun reform toilet paper. Deandre Jordan is good at rebounding. Spencer Hawes is good at dipping. They are polar opposites, but someone to space the floor a little in crunch time/play offense-defense with will be insanely helpful. He's a great fit on this team. The Tubbo 
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Oct 27, 2014 18:08
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Nerokerubina posted:Los Angeles Lakers, 2014 This is awesome.
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Oct 27, 2014 19:20
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chunkles posted:Since I'm going through teams rosters for Reasons I'll knock out a team or two that I don't think anyone else will. I'll just do the starting lineups unless somebody wants more. I care but I also think a good analogy for the Hawks is a pair of khaki pants. Khaki pants are boring but they get the job done. You can wear khaki pants to all sorts of occasions and fit in without being over or under-dressed. The one thing they can't do is be worn to the elite events. You want into a black tie event? Sorry, khakis you're not invited. Want to draw attention to yourself? Sorry, but nobody ever wanted to gently caress somebody because of how they looked in khakis pants. This is a very functional team capable of winning games but they lack the kind of play that demands your attention. I don't know that Atlanta would buy more tickets even if they did play a more "exciting" game but they're going to need to the finals or draft a generational talent to sell tickets the way things look right now.
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Oct 27, 2014 20:23
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Oh hey, I missed that there was a Meet The Team thread. Here are your 2014-15 Boston Celtics Brad Stevens - Head Coach  He was head coach of the whitest, most dull college basketball team this side of Duke. Going into his first season as coach of the Celtics, it was widely expected that he would bring his horrific style of play with him while crashing and burning. Instead he turned out to be a surprisingly competent coach who is very analytics focused. His team is still a pain to watch, but that's because of... Meet Your Celtics Starters Rajon Rondo - Point Guard  Rajon Rondo owns. Everyone loves a player who would be a nightly triple double threat if he could score ten points. An elite playmaker and defender before a serious knee injury, Rondo is going to look to get back to where he was as a player during the Big Three era. He's in a contract year and may be traded at some point during the season, though questions about his knee, his attitude, and the depth of the point guard position in the NBA may keep the Celtics from getting what they think is a fair return for him. Avery Bradley - Shooting Guard  Avery Bradley is an undersized 3 and D guard with a big new contract. He's probably a little underrated as a defender and extremely overrated as a shooter. Hopefully that new contract won't seem as silly when the new CBA kicks in. There's nothing else even remotely interesting about Avery Bradley. Jeff Green - Small Forward  Searching for Jeff Green in Google Images returns a lot of really bad photoshops of him in green Iron Man armor because of his open heart surgery. He got the chance to be the number one scoring option on the team last season and proved conclusively that he is not a number one scoring option, thus forever ending the annual preseason tradition of articles declaring this to be Jeff Green's breakout year. I still think he'd be a good third best on a team, provided he doesn't play the 4 and the two better players are way better. Jared Sullinger - Power Forward  Was apparently a walking It Gets Better ad as a child. Last season Brad Stevens had Sullinger try to expand his range by shooting threes. The result was the team's best low post player putting up almost four three point attempts a game and making a scintillating 27% of them. He ended up averaging 15/12 during the preseason, including shooting 50% from three so naturally I've already set myself up for disappointment with his performance this season. Kelly Olynyk - Center  I went into last season expecting to hate Olynyk's guts. I mean, jesus christ, look at him! Instead he wound up being a smooth and even at times exciting offensive player. Unfortunately he's such a mess defensively that without significant improvement on that end he'll be doomed to mediocrity. The Bench - People That Don't Deserve Pictures Brandon Bass - Power Forward Brandon Bass is my favorite non-Rondo Celtic. He's a slightly undersized big man with a great midrange shot. Look for him to end up on your favorite team this January. Marcus Smart - Guard Sometimes tanking doesn't pay off. Marcus Smart is big, strong, and super athletic. He has all the tools to get to the rim at will and be a lockdown defender. He seems to ignore all that and would rather shoot contested threes the second he gets the ball. The most frustrating part about him is that the times where he doesn't shoot he shows genuinely great instincts passing the ball and likely will develop into a very good defensive player, but already seems destined to torpedo himself by trying to be something that he's not. Hopefully his problems can be fixed by coaching, but ugh. Evan Turner - Walking Disaster I forgot that Evan Turner was even on the Celtics until now. He'll play a handful of pretty good games in November, there will be a ton of hype about how he's living up to his potential, and then he'll be completely worthless the rest of the season. Usually I'm all for reclamation projects on bad teams but he's just garbage. Marcus Thornton - Guard Most likely guy on the Celtics to average double digit points on a sub 40% shooting average. Deserves some credit for refusing to cowardly shave his head in the face of male pattern baldness. Gerald Wallace - Small Forward The greatest Charlotte Bobcat of all time. He's pretty cooked at this point, and as the second highest paid player on the team he's mostly there to collect paychecks at this point. James Young - Guard / Forward A somewhat promising rookie out of Kentucky. Probably won't get a ton of playing time this season. His best case scenario is having a Mo Peterson type career. Phil Pressey - Point Guard He's tiny, not as good at basketball as his dad, and is a surprisingly competent backup point guard. Vitor Faverani - Center Generic big man from Brazil. Sometimes he shoots threes. Tyler Zeller - Center / Forward Somehow has ended up being the best Zeller brother in the NBA so far. Seems like a solid reserve big man. Dwight Powell - Forward A second round rookie out of Stanford whom I know nothing about.
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Oct 28, 2014 16:31
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Nerokerubina posted:Los Angeles Lakers, 2014 this is the high point of the season right here
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Oct 28, 2014 20:33
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Yeah it was sufficient for me.
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Oct 28, 2014 23:19
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did someone seriously call Kyle MF Korver a 3 and D player. do you not know what the D stands for? do you not know who Kyle Korver is? Explain.
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Oct 29, 2014 00:03
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he went from "gay elf defense" to making most of his rotations i think that qualifies him for some kind of d, maybe like a lowercase subtext d, but yes i admit calling him a 3&d player is kind of silly and i fixed it 3&maybe some d chunkles fucked around with this message at 00:20 on Oct 29, 2014 |
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Oct 29, 2014 00:18
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MourningView posted:do you not know what the D stands for? Deez nuts
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Oct 29, 2014 00:20
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  although to be fair 
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Oct 29, 2014 00:24
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MEET THE TIMBERWOLVES 2013-2014: By any measure a disappointing season. Despite having positive point differentials, and for a long time being a top-10 offense AND defense, the Timberwolves under-achieved in wins scratching together a 40 win season in which they were out of the playoff hunt fairly early. A fun team to watch, their fast pace resulted in a ridiculous number of 4th quarter collapses. While likely due to luck, it didn't help that their head Coach was largely checked out. Adelman spent the 2013 off-season caring for his ill wife, and those inside the Timberwolves organization were not sure if he was going to coach at all until pre-season started. Combined with a general feeling that they would lose their star player, After a far and wide coaching search Flip Saunders found the true head coach is the one you find within yourself, and hired himself to coach the team. Kevin Love promptly was traded away for what was largely considered a decent haul: Andrew Wiggins, Anthony Bennett, and Miami's #1 pick. They curiously traded the #1 pick, SHVED!, and an African Prince for Thaddeus Young (who will probably just leave after this season). But at least Young will anchor the PF spot I guess? So who we got? Starting Lineup: Ricky RuuuUUUUUBIO  One thing about Ricky is the universal opinion that he is a productive, max-level player. A terrible finisher at the rim, a bad shooter (though, not horrid. His 3p shooting is Monta Ellis-level, which isn't good but not putrid). However, advanced stats that look at lineups love him, as any player sharing the floor with him looks significantly better. People have mixed feelings about his defense, but he is elite at stealing the ball and guards the 1 and the 2. The Wolves really haven't played bigs that can protect the paint from fast guards, so the backcourt is frequently on an island. But all that doesn't matter because he does things like this:  Kevin Martin  I sorta think he'll be traded, but the Wolves seem to want him around. A good scorer and shooter, an ok seconadary ball-handler, and that's about it. His contract was being talked about as a "bad contract" during the Love trade rumors, but he's a average-starting 2 guard making average money, I think his contract is completely mediocre. He's a really bad defender though. All in all, I like him because he is good at staying in his lane and he makes the ball go in the hoop. I am assuming he is going to someday soon leave basketball to go live with Rick Adelman forever. Andrew Wiggins  The prize in the Kevin Love deal. Canadian, which works because MN is basically Canada. Seems like a good kid. Defensively he'll almost certainly be a good wing defender in a few years. Offensively his ceiling is TMac, his floor....isn't. Probably a bit over-rated but I think he'll still be a really, really good player even if he isn't a generational one. Not 100% sure if he'll start right away but will probably play starters minutes. Thaddeus Young  Stretch 4. Has a player option next year. Decent player but pretty much is what he is. Weird get for a team with so much youth. Don't really know much more about him because who watches the 76ers? PEK  Probably the best player on the Wolves, will probably put up 20/10 and be a borderline all-star. Decent at clogging the paint and not giving up position defensively, bad at rotating to guys driving and general paint protection. Very good offensive rebounder and probably one of the top post players in the league. Has range to 5, 6 feet. Also has a huge tattoo on his arm of a crusader standing on a mountain of skulls. Noteables: Giorgi Dieng  From Senegal, Won a Championship at Louisville in 2013. Didn't get a lot of playing time in the NBA last year until the end, and then sorta looked like the best player from that year's draft. Good paint protector, ok touch around the rim, has a nose for rebounds. The best defensive big on the team now so I expect he'll get more time. Zach LaVine Does this:  Wolves Draft pick. Has good handles but IS NOT a point guard. I think he is basically Jordan Crawford (currently playing in China), but hell, why not try to see if you can turn that sorta guy into something. Corey Brewer //10-minute YouTube Clip of Cherry Picking// I keep forgetting Brewer is on this team. He should probably be traded/given away to someone. His contract is pretty bad. Chase Budinger  15th wing on the team. Was brought in to keep Kevin Love with promises of Beach Volleyball glory. Didn't work. Athletic and a good shooter until he blew out his knee, then was sorta neither. Looks healthy this year? Probably another bad contract. Lightning round: Anthony Bennett: Probably bad, but worth seeing if there's anything there to salvage Shabazz Muhammed: I think he's a very good scorer and I'd like to see him get more play, but he's buried behind sooooo many wings players. Mo Williams: Backup Point. VETERAN LEADERSHIP Glenn Robinson III: Another buried Wing player, probably not very good Hobbie Hummel: Knee heal good. Not as much of a waste as I thought he'd be but very much a replacement-level player. Will probably have a long career as a 10th guy. Ronny Turiaf: Good rebounder, overrated paint defender. Elite at being Excited on the Bench
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Oct 29, 2014 19:30
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The Heatles' Solo Albums You may remember the Miami Heat as the team that tried to ruin basketball in the 1990s or the team with the Dwayne Wade flings himself into people offense. In 2010, they also acquired the talents of the best basketball player in the world and a dinosaur to put together one of the scariest teams in the history of the NBA. The Heat came into the LeBron era with insane expectations fueled by promises to win not one not two not three and all the way up seven championships. The scary thing is, they almost lived up to the hype, making it to four consecutive finals appearances, winning two, and participating with the Spurs in one of the greatest advertisements for the sport of basketball in the 2013 finals. Now, with LeBron gone, the Heat will try to remain a force in the moribund Eastern conference. Notable Departures  LeBron James lol Future Cavalier Ray Allen The Late Shane Battier Vestigial Heats  Pat Riley, Godfather Riley is one of the all-time great NBA guys who won as a player, a coach, and an executive. Also, I can't stand him, look at this loving guy, he is literally responsible for Anthony Mason.  Eric Spoelstra, Head Coach Spoelstra fell into the LeBron superteam, but he also designed their swarming defense and smallball offense. A good coach who somehow lost credit for having incredible dudes on his team while Phil Jackson drives around in a car made of smugness.  The Dessicated Husk of Dwyane Wade, G Wade is one of the greatest shooting guards in the history of the NBA. His performance in the 2006 finals is among the best in NBA finals history. Wade's game at his peak, however, involved him slamming into people, finishing, and getting to the line. Now in his 30s and with knee problems, he probably can't be that guy anymore. But after a rough finals performance and after living in LeBron's shadow, Wade is ready to reclaim his team, his city, and also roll around on the court a lot pretending to be grievously injured.  Chris Bosh, F/C Bosh loving owns. Part man, part dinosaur, Bosh came to the Heat after being the only watchable thing on the Raptors. Once on the Heat, he rebuilt himself into a small-ball center capable of shooting threes and doing dirty work on the inside. Bosh is probably the best player on the Heat and if the Heat are any good this year, it'll be because of him. He spurned the opportunity to be a part of a new Big Three in Houston in order to cement himself as a Miami Man and also because who would want to leave money on the table and be forced to spend time with Dwight Howard.  Luol Deng, F Deng's an excellent defender, decent third option scorer, and the coolest dude in the NBA. It's a shame he's on the Heat, but Tom Thibodeau was going to kill him.  Josh McBoberts, F McRoberts came into the league as an annoying Duke big man, but flourished in Charlotte by growing out his hair and beard and throwing some sweet reckless passes. The Miami Heat seem like a good fit for him because he seems like he should be living on a house boat.  Norris Cole, G If you're an unheralded young player from Cleveland State on the floor with three NBA greats, you might think to put yourself in a complementary role. Not if you're Norris Cole. Cole would be out there running the floor and trying to score on three dudes at once because he's loving awesome and grew a hair/goatee combination that makes him look like a pharoah. Norris Cole is apparently going to start this year as a new form of passive aggressive Mario Chalmers trolling. Other Notable Heats  Mario Chlamers, G Some NBA players are known for flashy passes or toughness or dunks. Mario Chalmers is known for getting screamed at. Chalmers was a hero at Kansas for hitting one of the greatest shots in the history of the NCAA tournament, then went to the NBA and got yelled at a lot. He is a mediocre shooter who makes mediocre decisions, and goes by the name "Rio" which come to think of it is a pretty sweet Miami club alias. Chalmers is eager to prove himself on the post-LeBron Heat, but will not because he is literally Mario Chalmers.  Chris "Birdman" Andersen, C Bird Man is an NBA pioneer in coming from the D-League, being punished by the drug policy, and being falsely accused of child pornography. Responsible for the greatest Dunk Contest performance of all time.  Udonis Haslem, F Florida Man. The most beloved Heat with the possible exception of Alonzo Mourning. Currently about 10% more useful than Alonzo Mourning in a National Basketball Association game, but Heat fans' unabashed love for UD is pretty much the only thing about them that is endearing except for that lady who flipped off Joakim Noah. Danny Granger, F Old Shabazz Naiper Rookie from UConn who should be lauded for winning a title then telling the NCAA to go gently caress itself. Was praised by LeBron on twitter, drafted by the Heat, and then abandoned to plot his revenge in a Count of Monte Cristo scenario where he will plan all season for when he faces the Cavs, concoct an elaborate plan, and then get violently dunked on by LeBron because LeBron James is the best basketball player on the face of the earth. Sorry you don't get to play with him, but I heard Danny Granger is a nice guy. Season Outlook Who knows? On paper, the Heat are still a solid team with Wade, Bosh, and Deng. But if Wade struggles with injuries, things could get ugly. They should make the playoffs because the East. I don't like the Miami Heat, but if a Heat person wanted a preview in this thread with positive Heat things, they should have posted sooner. R.D. Mangles fucked around with this message at 06:43 on Oct 30, 2014 |
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Oct 30, 2014 06:36
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Phoenix Suns Predicted to win something like 25 games last season, they surprised everyone by scrapping for the 8th playoff spot in the tough West while playing an uptempo, fun brand of basketball. Tragically missed out on the playoffs even though they had 48 wins and lost Channing Frye to free agency. They also play a lineup with twins in it, which is exciting if you are a twin or just a fan of twins. Coach: Jeff Hornacek Another frustratingly competent coach hired while the Rockets took the option on McHale's contract last year. Goran Dragic (PG) Affectionately known as Gogi, Goran exploded last year, going from yet another 14/7 point guard to scoring 20 points a game on 50/40 shooting. He powers the Suns offense, and lineups without him fared poorly. This is effectively a contract year for him as barring a major injury, he will turn down his $7.5m player option and get the max from somebody. Eric Bledsoe (PG) Wait a minute, TWO point guards? You read that correctly, the Suns start two point guards!! Eric Bledsoe's improved three point shooting and ability to defend shooting guards well made him and Dragic one of the most effective guard tandems in the league. He injured his MCL last season and opted to have part of it removed completely, which allowed him return to the court quickly but may lead to knee issues down the road. The Suns will need him to remain healthy if they want to have a crack at the playoffs. Marcus Morris (Tweener) A solid outside shooter who took a few years to adjust to playing at NBA speed. Has a decent repertoire of scoring moves. Has the exact same tattoos as his brother, Markieff, which is kind of creepy. Cried when his brother was drafted one spot ahead of him which I take to mean he doesn't have the will to win. Markieff Morris (PF) Unlike his brother, has prototypical power forward size. Post scorer who got to the line at a good clip last season. Doesn't have the perimeter shooting ability that his brother does. Miles Plumlee (C) One of the Plumlees, I can never remember his first name. Anyway he came out of nowhere to be the Suns starting center. Not really flashy but he pulls down plenty of boards and runs the floor. Bench: Isaiah Thomas (PG) - A 5'9" point guard who scores from everywhere. Averaged 20 points per game last season. It's not immediately clear how well he fits with Dragic/Bledsoe, but who cares he's fun to watch and they'll figure it out. P.J. Tucker (SF) - Defensive wing who helped the Suns out by hitting a few threes last season. Gerald Green (SG/SF) - Formerly known only as a dunk contest participant, Gerald Green went to China and learned the ancient art of 3 point shooting. Rebounded from a bad year in Indiana and is decidedly good value for 3 million dollars a year. Alex Len (C) - 5th overall draft pick from 2013 who was out for much of last season with ankle problems and has yet to really do anything. Zoran Dragic (SG) - Goran's brother who is definitely a legit NBA prospect and was not signed as a blatant attempt to curry favor with Gogi. Shavlik Randolph - Holy poo poo Shavlik Randolph is still on an NBA roster at the age of 30. Season Outlook To be honest, it's hard to see them making the cut. They'll miss the spacing provided by Channing Frye. Their closest competition in the Mavericks got a bit better, the Grizzlies have settled in as an average offensive team and won't be missing Gasol for a third of the season. The Pelicans will probably also be playing around their level. Without a serious step forward on defense that doesn't seem possible with this roster, this is a team that will be on the bubble all season.. chunkles fucked around with this message at 10:05 on Oct 30, 2014 |
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Oct 30, 2014 08:01
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Markieff Morris is like an inch taller than Marcus
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Oct 30, 2014 14:22
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Declan MacManus posted:Markieff Morris is like an inch taller than Marcus Isn't he a little bigger/stronger though too? Either way, by their style of play I think its totally fair to call Markieff a PF and Marcus a tweener. I don't think being a tweener on this Suns squad is necessarily a bad thing though.
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Oct 30, 2014 14:42
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R.D. Mangles posted:I don't like the Miami Heat, but if a Heat person wanted a preview in this thread with positive Heat things, they should have posted sooner. Nah man. That was pretty much perfect. Also requesting Norris's nickname to be "The Hairoah"
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Oct 30, 2014 15:05
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Declan MacManus posted:Markieff Morris is like an inch taller than Marcus Unless he's grown and Marcus hasn't it wasn't even a full inch. He was about ten pounds heavier coming in though, and he spent a lot more time playing under the basket in college than Marcus did because at the time Marcus was considered the talented one.
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Oct 30, 2014 15:51
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That was a good preview Mangles. You forgot James Ennis though  Please edit and add this dunk shot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dDHWE9Pg0o
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Oct 30, 2014 17:16
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Declan MacManus posted:Markieff Morris is like an inch taller than Marcus see i kind of thought that too but he's listed at 6'10", hang on i'm going to call the nba and get this fixed
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Oct 30, 2014 18:34
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