- cuntman.net
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my grandpa got himself sent to old jail to kill one of the inmates. unfortunately his plan to stab him with a shiv made from a toothbrush failed because no one in that jail has teeth
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Dec 3, 2014 05:15
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- Adbot
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Apr 25, 2024 20:27
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- cuntman.net
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inmate in solitary confinement: my kids never come to visit
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Dec 3, 2014 05:19
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- LappyDore64
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by XyloJW
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sonny, it's best if you make friends quickly here on the inside. little word of advice though, stay away from the aryan brotherhood; they'll steal all your tapioca and they won't even come help if'n one of the orderlies decides to shake you down. unless he's a coon of course.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Dec 3, 2014 05:24
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- LappyDore64
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by XyloJW
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arright lads, dis here is de old gaol, wee're gonna go in dere roight, an wee're gonna sit downn an play a niiiice gaime of tiddlywinks wit me nanna roight.
den, wee're gonna bust that old geebag owt of dere an make off loike de rubberbandits
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Dec 3, 2014 05:27
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- cuntman.net
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inmate: i need to bribe a guard but i dont have enough money
other inmate: i hear henry has a lot of money maybe you should try to win some off him in a bingo game
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Dec 3, 2014 05:39
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- mags
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I am a congenital optimist.
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i wish i was allowed to look for confederate gold with my metal detector in the prison yard
everyone in the idf must die
(USER WAS PERMABANNED FOR THIS POST)
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Dec 3, 2014 05:59
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- heard u like girls
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i hear this is the jail with the highest mortality rate in the country... yesterday we lost 7 senior inmates in the courtyard heat alone so maybe its true..
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Dec 3, 2014 06:06
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- Full-Bodied Flavor
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they smuggle candy inside but end up giving them to the prison guards cause they think theyre hungry
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Dec 3, 2014 06:14
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- Pinche Rudo
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*sees the main gate to the prison open* FREEDOM! I'M GETTIN OUT OF HERE! *moves at a snail's pace with walker while the guards watch on snickering*
Check out the podcast - https://rudospodcast.co
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Dec 3, 2014 06:20
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- heard u like girls
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theeeeres a diaper going onnnnn
up in cellblock number 9
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Dec 3, 2014 06:20
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- heard u like girls
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to prison guard: eya laddy have you seen my ehh bus pass
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Dec 3, 2014 06:23
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- cuntman.net
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they smuggle candy inside but end up giving them to the prison guards cause they think theyre hungry
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Dec 3, 2014 06:25
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- the bsd boys
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Can't post for 396 days!
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*approaching table of a rival clique in the dining hall* HEY! what the HECK do you think youre doing stealing my table's bowl of werthers originals
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Dec 3, 2014 07:40
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- the bsd boys
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Can't post for 396 days!
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i dont know why they make us do shop time. the administrators car has worked without an oil change for the last 200000 km, and it will continue to work.
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Dec 3, 2014 07:45
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- LappyDore64
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by XyloJW
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didja hear? old frankie over in ward b got beat last night after lights-out. seems a bunch of guys from the eastside rudefellows took offense to him cheating shaky-hands parker at pinochle the other day, went to town on his rear end with their walker frames and an old truss from the dispensary.
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Dec 3, 2014 08:09
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- Finger Prince
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Here in old jail they call the prostate examinations "searching for contraband".
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Dec 3, 2014 08:15
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- Rodatose
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corn, corn, corn
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a group of inmates gathers around a newly arrived oldman. "fresh fish, fresh fish" they chant waddling in ominously closer and closer. rap music plays and a breakdancing granny does her thing. all of the commotion has triggered one of the older inmates, who breaks down crying as he blurts out, "you can't send them on the same busses as my kids, it just aint right!" Meanwhile, the new arrival has already died of a massive stroke
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Dec 3, 2014 08:31
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- I Dunno
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old jail? you mean...the retirement home? 
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Dec 3, 2014 08:36
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- Mac Tonight
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aw yeah tahts it man
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jail is a terrible place but a great show
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Dec 3, 2014 08:57
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- cuntman.net
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a new inmate arrives at the jail and immediately receives several hundred rock hammers and posters of singers from all the other inmates
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Dec 3, 2014 09:08
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- google THIS
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"i'd stay away from that one if I were you. He used to be a BYOB ik."
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Dec 3, 2014 15:00
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- Diqnol
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Rape isn't a problem here unless your aggressor is very persistent
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Dec 3, 2014 17:53
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- google THIS
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*putters along in a motorized wheelchair with a ball and chain attached to it*
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Dec 3, 2014 18:16
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- heard u like girls
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a new inmate arrives at the jail and immediately receives several hundred rock hammers and posters of singers from all the other inmates
ahahaha
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Dec 3, 2014 20:11
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- Al Borland
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by XyloJW
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The inmates keep forgetting what gangs they belong to because they're all senile 
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Dec 3, 2014 21:28
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- google THIS
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poor marv should have had a parole hearing years ago, but he always thinks it's "tomorrow" and no one bothers to correct him
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Dec 3, 2014 21:36
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- Rodatose
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corn, corn, corn
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tom batiuk, recently taken in due to an incident involving riding a bus for five days straight because he forgot where his home was, publishes his groundbreaking Crankshaft Strips from Hurting mans Jail. a popular anger flares up in its readers, but quickly subsides because just then Price is Right comes on
Rodatose fucked around with this message at 07:43 on Dec 4, 2014
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Dec 4, 2014 07:41
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- Rick
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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
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my grandpa got himself sent to old jail to kill one of the inmates. unfortunately his plan to stab him with a shiv made from a toothbrush failed because no one in that jail has teeth
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Dec 7, 2014 11:10
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- Rick
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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
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i wish i was allowed to look for confederate gold with my metal detector in the prison yard
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Dec 7, 2014 11:11
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- Adbot
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Apr 25, 2024 20:27
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Dec 3, 2014 05:15
