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ugh its Troika
May 2, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
I'll start it off with some from the space station 13 (a spacemans game) log, SS13 runs on the BYOND engine, which can best be described as... quirky.

code:
 
    "Okay, so I have some bohrum, some char, and a pile of...awfuls? What"
    -a miner
 

code:
 
    I think this bug reporter is just inept but I'm going to poke the surgery tools anyway because the entire codebase is sure prone of inane butterfly effect bullshit and touching some hat code could conceivably cause the stapler to stop working if it's a Thursday and the user has been drinking milk.
    next maybe I should look for bugs on the inside of a gun barrel
 

code:
 
    WHY DO GRILLES HAVE WINDOW-CREATION CODE?! WHO DID THIS?! IM GONNA SHANK YOU
 

code:
 
    Did you know mass-producing ore accumulators and then sticking thousands of material items in the middle so you can have some kind of bizarre gravity toilet going on will gently caress the server to death? Neither did I, because WHO loving DOES THAT
    excuse me while i go gnaw my own legs off and beat myself to death with them
 

code:
 
    I may have "upgraded" the manufacturer auto-loader function to victorian level technology considering it liked to grab the user's limbs and load them all into itself. Which wasn't nice.
 
code:
    MONKEYS SHOULD NOT SCREAM LIKE MEN


code:
 
    Why does the changelog think it's the year 202? Anyone else concerned by this?
 
code:
 
fuckin' byond

code:
 Monkeys were invisible when fried again,
because sometimes byond icon operations just give you blank icons
for reasons not known to man nor beast.


code:
 OOPS im dumb


code:
It would probably help if the rarity picker code made any loving sense


code:
i sure like how compiling anything makes my laptop smell like fire

code:
"Doc...documentation???" he said in shock, his eyebrows popping up right off his face,
through the ceiling, and off into the distant cosmos.

code:
im coder

code:
 
no sir i think you'll find I'M coder


code:
I hope this will make erebite underpants (or whatever)
not explode a hundred thousand times in a row.

code:
urrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhh

code:
Fairly sure I must have been high when I made these changes.

code:
I cannot win.
I guess I can take solace in the fact that one day,
everyone who chats in #goonstation will be dead.

code:
OH YEAH LETS TRY OUT 1000x1000 MAPS. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!?!

code:
So this was a bad idea. But now we know. 1000x1000 maps aren't a good idea.
They are bad. real bad.

code:
This might or might not fix issues that do or do not exist

code:
Assassination objectives were broken to always return successful because
the target's mind wasn't a robot.  You read that right.
Their brain was not a robot.

code:
  
  Every morning when I arise from my terrible, apocalyptic nightmare-wracked slumber of unutterable evil, it is the thought of AngriestIBM's absolute and total misery that compels me to rise. It is the thousand-yard stare, a stare born of abject horror and visceral experiences not withstood by any other in this epoch, that I crave.
 
    I open up my refridgerator, a wretched device hewn from the bones of starved and beaten orphans, the interior chilled by the trapped, miserable soul of an angel who's blood I have withdrawn entirely and replaced with rotting horse discharge to make a mockery of the very creation of God himself. From the refridgerator I pull a simple unlabelled bottle sloshing with a vile black liquid.
 
    It is the trapped tears of AngriestIBM, tears of sheer misery and depression. I remove the cap, and take a moment to sample the heady, musky scent of a broken man's grief. I put the bottle to my cracked lips and drink, the wails of abject torment audible in my ears as the salty, bittersweet tears flow past my rancid fangs and into my throat, refreshing me to the cause of breaking his world further.
 
    Later that night, he is at his computer. He looks upon my code and despairs. At that moment, I slither through the gap between dimensions into his room and observe him as he looks upon the twisted, horrendous wreckage I have introduced into the code. I slide up to him and in his ear I whisper in a voice colder and sharper than all the very quills of Shub-Niggurath herself.
    "i'm coder"
 
    He hangs his head. "watt-volts", I continue.
 
    He begins to weep.
 
    I smile, and raise my bottle to his face.
    The harvest begins anew.

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SpaceAceJase
Nov 8, 2008

and you
have proved
to be...

a real shitty poster,
and a real james
You're not a programmer. Where did you find these logs

Ryzic
Feb 28, 2009

No, actually. I would hate to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!
Grimey Drawer
Yeah come on lets be realistic here:

code:
 Fixed stuff 
code:
 Updates 
code:
 Undo updates that fixed stuff 
code:
 idk 

kiwid
Sep 30, 2013

Ryzic posted:

Yeah come on lets be realistic here:

Hey it's me.

Literally my last 4 commits:

code:
fix.
code:
Work tonight
code:
home time.
code:
commiting for lunchtime

Smrtz
May 26, 2015
Just checked my git log:

code:
I'm so sorry...

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
Some combination of
- hacking away
- hack hack hack
- blargh tests arrrgh
- typo
- just trying to make github happy
- try this
- try this now
- try this again
- now try this
- put everything back the way it was

wwb
Aug 17, 2004

More sad but we've got one guy who half his commits are the "Merge" supplied by sourcetree. The reason is he is slow and is always merging in upstream changes because he falls behind. And he is also slow and hasn't figured out he can edit the text.

I haven't even broached the subject of rebase . . .

Clanpot Shake
Aug 10, 2006
shake shake!

I committed this one:

quote:

lets use random characters for delimiters, just for fun
It's not as bad as it sounds, I swear...

Then there's these:

quote:

re-adding deletion

quote:

code golf

quote:

explanatory comment

These two were right in a row:

quote:

woops

quote:

ugh

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I squash commits into one only once things are actually passing tests/not broken. One commit, one idea.

Having a bunch of extra poo poo is gross and totally defeats the purpose of a commit log.

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weak wrists big dick
Dec 18, 2012

good job. you are getting legitametly upset because I won't confrom to your secret internet cliques gross social standards. Sorry I don't like anime. Sorry I don't like being gross on the internet. Sorry that you are getting caremad.


your stupid shit internet argument is also only half true once I get probated, so checkmate anyways but nice try.

]
Literally my friends last one on our small project

code:
I did drugs before I wrote this so its good or bad well find out tomorrow

Fakedit: to clarify this isn't me, I usually leave what drug I did when I commit on drugs

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