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Jerry: What are you doing with all these racist flags? Kramer: Aww, no, they're not racist, it's about HERITAGE Jerry. Jerry: While why do you have 50 of them and why are they in my apartment? Kramer: I'm stocking up Jerr, I just need to store them here for a couple days while my apartment gets fumigated, there's about to be a BIG BOOM in demand, I'm tellin ya, I'm gonna make a fortune! *George walks in with racially ambiguous woman* *freeze frame* *percussion track* |
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Jun 25, 2015 08:47
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 04:44 |
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How did gorge always get hot babes?
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Jun 25, 2015 08:49
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George was based on Larry David so that was sort of his vicarious wish fulfillment |
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Jun 25, 2015 20:30
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George: they used the wrong hash tags, Jerry! jerry: what's wrong with that hash tag? george: it's wrong! they used the wrong one! that's supposed to be a 1, not I! now everyone will be tweeting the wrong thing! Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan |
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Jun 25, 2015 20:49
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George becomes involved with a three time twerk champion. Kramer is taking up space in Jerry's apartment with his BitCoin rigs. Elaine is lost in Brooklyn looking for a restroom. |
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Jun 26, 2015 00:09
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a new weed dispensary opens up with the best weed but a really tough manager who makes you order the weed in a certain way and if you gently caress it up he says "no weed for you!" lol |
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Jun 26, 2015 00:12
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Kramer's convinced reselling Star Citizen ships will make him a millionaire; Elaine is despondent after the end of this season of Game of Thrones. Jerry's video series idea is rejected and Buzzfeed wants his content in 'listicle' form, which he can't figure out what it means. George discovers that 9/11 was a thing that happened and mourns the loss of all the sympathy he could have been getting if he hadn't missed it. |
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Jun 26, 2015 00:16
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Awesome! posted:a new weed dispensary opens up with the best weed but a really tough manager who makes you order the weed in a certain way and if you gently caress it up he says "no weed for you!" lol lol brilliant |
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Jun 26, 2015 00:16
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uh,... the Soup Jihadist 
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Jun 26, 2015 00:16
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joke_explainer posted:Kramer's convinced reselling Star Citizen ships will make him a millionaire; Elaine is despondent after the end of this season of Game of Thrones. Jerry's video series idea is rejected and Buzzfeed wants his content in 'listicle' form, which he can't figure out what it means. George discovers that 9/11 was a thing that happened and mourns the loss of all the sympathy he could have been getting if he hadn't missed it. |
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Jun 26, 2015 00:18
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George joins ISIS. Jerry joins ISIS. Kramer joins ISIS. Elaine joins ISIS. Georges mom and dad join ISIS. Newman joins ISIS. |
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Jun 26, 2015 00:20
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dogcrash truther posted:George joins ISIS. Jerry joins ISIS. Kramer joins ISIS. Elaine joins ISIS. Georges mom and dad join ISIS. Newman joins ISIS. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3650516&pagenumber=2#post432245814 paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Jun 26, 2015 00:35
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Jerry fucks George. George thinks it might be rape. George confides in Elaine. Elaine says he should report it. George doesn't think he can. Kramer enters and tells a joke about rape. George retches and rushes out of the room. Elaine is furious but doesn't want to reveal George's secret. She tells Kramer that those kinds of jokes aren't funny; you never know who has been a victim of rape. Kramer says "yeah, but I know you guys. It's fine. We're friends!" Jerry enters. Kramer says "you're a comedian, Jerry. Tell me what you think of this joke." Then he tells the joke. Jerry laughs uproariously. All the color drains from Elaine's face and she leaves without saying a word. Kramer confides in Jerry that based on her reactions, he's concerned that Elaine might have been the victim of a sexual assault. Jerry says she's fine and asks if Kramer is turning into one of those SJW types. Kramer looks shocked and says no. Jerry says he needs to get to sleep. Kramer leaves and texts Elaine asking how she's doing. The next morning, she texts "im fine." After that, George stops returning everyone's phone calls, even Elaine's. He moves back in with his parents which is fortuitous because his mom gets diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer and his dad is starting to suffer from dementia. Elaine, too, drifts away from the gang and finds new friends through meetup.com. 20 years later, Jerry is accused of rape by a waiter at an East Village bar. Accusers start coming out of the woodwork. George decides to go public with his story. At a press conference he notices Elaine in the crowd. Afterwards she approaches him, they reconcile. They also attempt a reconciliation with Kramer but he has become desperately addicted to oxycontin as the result of a hip replacement gone bad and spends his days in a haze. The last 20 years of George and Elaine's lives are pleasant and meaningful. Elaine sets George up with one of her girlfriends and it works out great. Elaine starts her own political mailing company and it becomes successful enough that she can bankroll vacations for all three of them. Jerry never faces trial for his crimes but he becomes a pariah and a figure of ridicule. In his later years nobody cares for him except people he can pay. He manages to die before his money runs out. His will bequeaths his entire estate to a charity that rehabilitates injured marine mammals. Going to the aquarium was the only joy he had left. The end. |
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Jun 26, 2015 00:41
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an entire episode where George, Jerry, and Elaine wait in line for a new iPhone. |
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Jun 26, 2015 00:41
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kramer slides into the apartment: actually jerry, it's about ethics in comedic journalism |
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Jun 26, 2015 00:43
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Thingyman posted:an entire episode where George, Jerry, and Elaine wait in line for a new iPhone. Brilliantly brilliant. |
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Jun 26, 2015 01:44
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Rochelle, Rochelle: 3D |
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Jun 26, 2015 01:49
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CAT BRUSH posted:http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3650516&pagenumber=2#post432245814 With the sheer volume of seinfield snippets we write up, it's only natural we'll occasionally overlap. ISIS is a bit more topical so I think it fits with the modern seinfield well. |
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Jun 26, 2015 01:52
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I'm telling you Jerry, they feminized Mad Max! It should have been called Mad Maxine! They coulda put the man in a bonnet, Jerry! A bonnet! |
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Jun 26, 2015 01:52
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joke_explainer posted:With the sheer volume of seinfield snippets we write up, it's only natural we'll occasionally overlap. ISIS is a bit more topical so I think it fits with the modern seinfield well. nah i wasn't saying that i just was about to continue that theme and realized I already did it personally, so i just linked to that as a response. dct's post made me laugh paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Jun 26, 2015 02:05
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https://twitter.com/seinfeldtoday "Modern Seinfeld" edit, from above: Kramer thinks the NSA is spying on him, so he goes "off the grid." Except he uses Jerry's phone, computer & email. "You're just on MY grid!" lol Going to go watch some Seinfeld on bluray, have fun byob.
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Jun 26, 2015 02:22
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On a rainy Tuesday night, police are called to investigate a fight, with possible shots fired. The arrive to find George Costanza, a neighborhood watch volunteer, sitting on the sidewalk with injuries to his face and head. Lying several yards away, on the grass, is the body of young Jerry Seinfeld. What occurs before the police arrive, and in the next few hours, will become the subjects of national controversy. George claims that Jerry attacked him as he was returning to his truck after reporting Jerry acting suspiciously in his community, but audiotape of his non-emergency call to 911 will divide the public as many hear evidence of racial prejudice in George's descriptions, and question whether Jerry was provoked, particularly after the dispatcher tells George "we don't need you to [follow Jerry]." Dispatcher: New York City Police Department. ... Costanza: Hey, we've had some break-ins in my neighborhood, and there's a real suspicious guy, uh, [near] Retreat View Circle. Um, the best address I can give you is 111 Retreat View Circle. This guy looks like he's up to no good, or he's on drugs or something. It's raining and he's just walking around, looking about. Dispatcher: Okay, and this guy is he white, black, or Hispanic? Costanza: He looks Jewish. Dispatcher: Did you see what he was wearing? Costanza: Yeah. A white shirt, like a pirate shirt, and either jeans or sweatpants and white tennis shoes. He's [unintelligible], he was just staring... Dispatcher: Okay, he's just walking around the area... Costanza: ...looking at all the houses. Dispatcher: Okay... Costanza: Now he's just staring at me. Dispatcher: Okay. You said it's 1111 Retreat View? Or 111? Costanza: That's the clubhouse... [Note 3, 3rd picture] Dispatcher: That's the clubhouse. Do you know what the – he's near the clubhouse right now? Costanza: Yeah, now he's coming towards me. Dispatcher: Okay. Costanza: He's got his hand in his waistband. And he's a Jewish male. Dispatcher: How old would you say he looks? Costanza: He's got a button on his shirt. Early thirties. Dispatcher: Early thirties. Okay. Costanza: Something's wrong with him. Yup, he's coming to check me out. He's got something in his hands. I don't know what his deal is. Dispatcher: Just let me know if he does anything, okay? Costanza: How long until you get an officer over here? Dispatcher: Yeah, we've got someone on the way. Just let me know if this guy does anything else. Costanza: Okay. These assholes, they always get away. When you come to the clubhouse, you come straight in and make a left. Actually, you would go past the clubhouse.[Note 3, 3rd picture] Dispatcher: So it's on the lefthand side from the clubhouse? Costanza: No, you go in straight through the entrance and then you make a left...uh, you go straight in, don't turn, and make a left. poo poo, he's running [background noises, possibly car door open warning chimes, heard]. Dispatcher: He's running? Which way is he running? Costanza: Down towards the other entrance to the neighborhood. Dispatcher: Which entrance is that that he's heading towards? Costanza: The back entrance...loving [disputed/unintelligible] Dispatcher: Are you following him? Costanza: Yeah. Dispatcher: Okay, we don't need you to do that. Costanza: Okay. Dispatcher: All right, sir, what is your name? Costanza: George...He ran. Dispatcher: All right, George, what's your last name? Costanza: Costanza. Dispatcher: And George, what's the phone number you're calling from? Costanza: [redacted] Dispatcher: All right, George, we do have them on the way. Do you want to meet with the officer when they get out there? Costanza: Yeah. Dispatcher: Alright, where you going to meet with them at? Costanza: If they come in through the gate, tell them to go straight past the club house, and uh, straight past the club house and make a left, and then they go past the mailboxes, [Note 3, 4th picture] that's my truck...[unintelligible] Dispatcher: What address are you parked in front of? Costanza: I don't know. It's a cut through so I don't know the address.[Note 3, 6th & 7th pictures] Dispatcher: Okay. Do you live in the area? Costanza: Yeah, I...[unintelligible] Dispatcher: What's your apartment number? Costanza: It's a home. It's 1950,[Note 3, 3rd picture] Oh, crap. I don't want to give it all out. I don't know where this kid is. Dispatcher: Okay. Do you want to just meet with them right near the mailboxes then? Costanza: Yeah, that's fine. Dispatcher: All right, George. I'll let them know to meet you around there okay? Costanza: Actually, could you have them call me and I'll tell them where I'm at? Dispatcher: Okay, yeah. That's no problem. Costanza: Should I give you my number or you got it? Dispatcher: Yeah, I got it [redacted] Costanza: Yeah, you got it. Dispatcher: Okay. No problem. I'll let them know to call you when they're in the area. Costanza: Thanks. Dispatcher: You're welcome.[60] Outrage is further inflamed when the prosecutor decides not to charge Costanza with a crime, saying that there is not enough evidence of wrongdoing. After national furor, including a stunning comment by Obama that "If I had a son, he would look like Jerry," and a request from Seinfeld's family for a Justice Department investigation, State Attorney Angela Corey is assigned to the case and decides to press charges. Before the case can go to trial, there is a vigorous debate in the court of public opinion, including right-wing groups smearing Seinfeld's name by saying that he was "no angel" and pointing out that he was once put on trial for failing to help the victim of a carjacking. On the other side, allegations of sexual misconduct by George are made public. Finally, the case goes to trial. The state's main witness, Kramer, who was on the phone with Jerry up until the altercation began, presents testimony which is considered by many to be 'unreliable" or "shifty" because of his accent and demeanor. Other observers note that his behavior is perfectly reasonable for a person of his station who has been caught up in the trial of the decade. Nonetheless, this perceived unreliability works against the prosecution and George is ultimately acquitted of all charges. Elaine, who has quietly stood by Jerry throughout the trial, files for divorce shortly after it ends. |
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Jun 26, 2015 02:25
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Has anyone read The Apple Store |
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Jun 26, 2015 02:27
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Episode title: The Carmel Macchiato |
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Jun 26, 2015 02:29
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George lies about being an arcitecht on Tindr |
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Jun 26, 2015 02:33
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jerry buys a keurig machine and kramer decides to educate jerry on how wasteful k-cups are
paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Jun 26, 2015 02:36
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Something involving George registering vandalayindustries.com in an elaborate ruse to get a job. |
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Jun 26, 2015 02:36
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alnilam posted:Has anyone read The Apple Store exactly http://twitter.com/seinfeld2000 |
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Jun 26, 2015 02:37
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Jerry: I wonder what Kramer has been up to. George: He's been playing WoW for the last 10 years. Jerry : Oh, ok. |
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Jun 26, 2015 04:33
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dogcrash truther posted:George joins ISIS. Jerry joins ISIS. Kramer joins ISIS. Elaine joins ISIS. Georges mom and dad join ISIS. Newman joins ISIS. |
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Jun 26, 2015 04:35
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joke_explainer posted:Kramer's convinced reselling Star Citizen ships will make him a millionaire; Elaine is despondent after the end of this season of Game of Thrones. Jerry's video series idea is rejected and Buzzfeed wants his content in 'listicle' form, which he can't figure out what it means. George discovers that 9/11 was a thing that happened and mourns the loss of all the sympathy he could have been getting if he hadn't missed it. dogcrash truther posted:seinfeld movie also, seinquest 2000
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Jun 26, 2015 04:37
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Georges vasectomy causes him to get in a subway altercation over "manspreading"; Kramer accidentally becomes a scientologist, Jerry gets trolled on twitter.
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Jun 26, 2015 04:49
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Thingyman posted:an entire episode where George, Jerry, and Elaine wait in line for a new iPhone. man that would have been really good tv tbh |
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Jun 26, 2015 04:57
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