|
My grandfather is 91 with congestive hear failure and has been in decline for about the last 5 years. Hes been in the hospital for the last month and this has caused a strain on the family as his primary caretaker, my aunt, is also sick and is not able to be present with him. This leaves my father to stay at his house to care for the property and other daily chores. Recently my grandfather asked my father to gather some financial documents, which he could not find (hoarding makes this hard). This prompted my grandfather to accuse my father of stealing, and hes pretty devastated by this. They have never had a "good" relationship as my grandfather is somewhat authoritarian and used to liberally apply corporal punishment to both his children, however this hasnt stopped them from cooperating or building improvements on the family property; trail roads, cleared spaces, and land reclamation. Their main cause of contention is due to the relationship between my father, and my aunt who I will say is a legitimate Neo-Nazi. I could go into details about that but lets just say she was a nurse once and was fired because she told a black co-worker "We shouldnt treat those thugs coming in, they will just go out an get in more trouble, its better to let them die on the street, am I right?"-"The Nazis were worth it if they killed just one more communist" (grandpa was a Polish slave laborer in a German factory) My aunt has in the past, has made statements to the effect that I will simply sell the family land and spend it on video games and booze, and that I have no heart for the family etc etc. I have no misgivings at this point that our relationship can never be repaired, I havent seen my grandfather in several years simply because I want to avoid my aunt. Unlike my father, I am not in denial about the fact that this illness will probably soon lead to the death of my grandfather. My aunt, who is single and childless and full of spite, has been attempting not to gain sole ownership of the property via inheritance, but instead to have it bequeathed t to the state (NY). I see this as a last spiteful measure to ensure that my father, nor I, can retain some part of our childhood memories. (My aunt is 54 and never learned how to drive and cant get to my grandfather without a paid taxi, when I offered to teach her how to drive when I was 20 resulted in her calling me a control freak, she will never go the property after he dies because she herself cannot be alone or far from a hospital). At this point I really dont know how to approach this, I have made plans to visit him in the hospital this weekend. I however feel scummy going to a dying man and rebuking his only daughter, while also stating that selling the family land is a mistake. I have no idea what to say to him that doesnt just make me seem like a greedy child attacking his family, or how to broach any arrangements in the will. I am however dreading the confrontation that may result between my family and my aunt, who may have already had my grandfather change his will. TLDR"gramps is dying, aunt is whispering lies into his ears, what lawyer do look for to ensure her own spite doesnt tear away the only nexus our family has. Edit: whoops this should have gone in E/N but I guess the question about the lawyer is still relavent, Mods if you feel its more appropriate in E/N then feel free to move this thread there. Gaj fucked around with this message at 06:00 on Jul 9, 2015 |
#
?
Jul 9, 2015 05:51
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 23, 2024 10:57 |
|
|
The scope of this problem is way beyond what any Internet forum can provide. Call a lawyer very quickly, because you might need a will, among other things, drawn up quite quickly. I honestly don't know what kind of lawyer, but family law maybe? Is a 'Trust' Lawyer a thing?
|
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2015 06:26
|
|
|
1) There is a will already in place, but I do not know if it has been altered in the last 5 or so years. 2) Yes, basically what I am looking for is advice on which type of lawyer to contact and search for, as in my previous experience lawyers dont really give referrals.
|
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2015 06:46
|
|
|
You probably need an estate/trust lawyer.
|
|
#
?
Jul 9, 2015 06:56
|
|
|
wrong forum
|
|
#
?
Jul 10, 2015 00:30
|
|
|
This situation is very close to your own, and I hope it can offer you counsel and guide you in the darkness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQExgALv9wI
|
|
#
?
Jul 10, 2015 01:42
|
|
|
Nothing tears a family apart faster than the assets of a dying a person. Tell your grandpa to put everything in a trust that liquidates on his death and distributes the proceeds to his heirs in a manner he finds acceptable. That way he keeps the land until he dies, and doesn't have to put up with any bullshit in the mean time. It's the best way to ensure the family survives his death. If you really want the land to remain in the family, you can buy it from the trust as it liquidates. If it's really not that important to you or your father, you'll let it sell and just keep the money.
|
|
#
?
Jul 10, 2015 04:36
|
|
|
How about you don't tell your grandpa poo poo and you just spend some quality time with a dying man you fuckin human turd
|
|
#
?
Jul 10, 2015 05:04
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 23, 2024 10:57 |
|
|
Cause my mom has MS and Im with her for the week helping her go to the docs while my father is out? Also yeah this is over gramps died this morning so Imma close this.
|
|
#
?
Jul 10, 2015 05:08
|
|