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Nanomashoes
Aug 18, 2012

BigBoss posted:

Also tons of dick and fart jokes :v:

Yeah but for Joyce the farts weren't jokes. They were very serious.

quote:

My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being hosed arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I hosed you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest loving I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, loving in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every gently caress I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger gently caress than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I hosed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to gently caress a farting woman when every gently caress drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

You say when I go back you will suck me off and you want me to lick your oval office, you little depraved blackguard. I hope you will surprise me some time when I am asleep dressed, steal over to me with a whore's glow in your slumberous eyes, gently undo button after button in the fly of my trousers and gently take out your lover's fat mickey, lap it up in your moist mouth and suck away at it till it gets fatter and stiffer and comes off in your mouth. Sometimes too I shall surprise you asleep, lift up your skirts and open your drawers gently, then lie down gently by you and begin to lick lazily round your bush. You will begin to stir uneasily then I will lick the lips of my darling's oval office. You will begin to groan and grunt and sigh and fart with lust in your sleep. Then I will lick up faster and faster like a ravenous dog until your oval office is a mass of slime and your body wriggling wildly.

Goodnight, my little farting Nora, my dirty little fuckbird! There is one lovely word, darling, you have underlined to make me pull myself off better. Write me more about that and yourself, sweetly, dirtier, dirtier.



JIM

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OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Nanomashoes posted:

Yeah but for Joyce the farts weren't jokes. They were very serious.

Whorish, arseways, and fuckbird are all made-up words, but i feel the english language benefits from their invention

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010
Why are people saying porn is perverting us moderns ? Victorians were probably worse

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

Nanomashoes posted:

It's really musical and fun to read out loud.

that would be great if he was writing songs instead of stories which tried to convey meaning via written text. that is such an english major thing to say.

Nanomashoes
Aug 18, 2012

Serious Frolicking posted:

that would be great if he was writing songs instead of stories which tried to convey meaning via written text. that is such an english major thing to say.

what if instead of recoiling from something you didn't understand you took the time to engage with it?

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

Nanomashoes posted:

what if instead of recoiling from something you didn't understand you took the time to engage with it?

then maybe i should make excuses about how incoherent garbage sounds pretty if you say it out loud. that would be true of all of joyce's long-forgotten contemporaries as well because they were writing in the same dialect. im gonna start reciting filthy limericks in french. i cant speak french, but the language is so melodious that the actual content doesnt matter.

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Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

shiksa posted:

look okay i was born in 89 so by all accounts i should have a mega boner for harry potter, but who gives a poo poo? i guess there's another fuckin movie coming out thats not harry potter, but really it's harry potter, and why should anyone care? i read the first three because i was in the age group that was right in that target demo in the late 90s and then the 4th one was like, twice as long as any other harry potter book and woah turns out i didn't care about retard wizard poo poo that much.

anyway, thanks y'all for having me, i'll be around, and if you like harry potter enough to get mad enough at this to want to tell me why i should actually like harry potter, lol

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)



Come on, Starwar. You're killin' me here. The only point of probating him was to blame him for the death of Alan Rickman.

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