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BBQ Dave
Jun 17, 2012

Well, that's easy for you to say. You have a bad imagination. It's stupid. I live in a fantasy world.

Hello all! I was wondering if anyone had any experience with crime scene cleaning.

I live in a small town and want to move back to civilization with my wife and start a new career. I used to know a couple crime scene cleaners when I lived in San Francisco (just bar buddies) who told me it paid well and also found it personally rewarding. Both stressed the importance and value of restoring a place after tragedy strikes, and that sentiment stuck with me.

A couple hours of internet research has led me to believe I can make $20 and hour to start, training will be provided or cost $1000 depending on the employer, and I will have to be away from home 3-7 days at a time. I will also be on call most of the time. Have I got that about right?

I have some non professional construction experience, lots of cleaning experience (restaurant based), I work out, and am very personable. Could this be the career for me and what else do I need to know before going in? Thank you all in advance, I look forward to reading any insights.

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Vaginal Vagrant
Jan 12, 2007

by R. Guyovich
Sorry I can't op, my boss would kill me.

LogisticEarth
Mar 28, 2004

Someone once told me, "Time is a flat circle".
One thing I've seen is that with a lot of these services, you tend to not really be specifically "crime scene cleanup", but rather, "general disgusting mess cleanup". Like, cleaning out horders, people who died alone at home and weren't found for a while, mold/flood cleanup, etc. Basically, anything where bio-hazards, bodily fluids, or festering garbage exists.

Do you enjoy doing manual labor in a respirator and tyvek suit? Do you think you could enjoy the job and tough labor once the novelty of the situation wears off?

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
Once you get up a good rep as a cleaner you just need to drum up some business by causing especially grizzly crimes and then rollin the bux cleaning them up.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
I actually did this sort of work for a year down in Florida and this part is 100% true

LogisticEarth posted:

One thing I've seen is that with a lot of these services, you tend to not really be specifically "crime scene cleanup", but rather, "general disgusting mess cleanup". Like, cleaning out horders, people who died alone at home and weren't found for a while, mold/flood cleanup, etc. Basically, anything where bio-hazards, bodily fluids, or festering garbage exists.

Do you enjoy doing manual labor in a respirator and tyvek suit? Do you think you could enjoy the job and tough labor once the novelty of the situation wears off?

First job I had with them was in a warehouse with a rat infestation. Exterminators tented up the warehouse and gassed them, we went into the walls and vents to clear them out once they were dead.

You'll also occasionally find your self doing decontaminations. We had a job where a man took some cyanide and we were called in to safely and carefully clean up his apartment.

The company I worked with and the referrals we used were small companies. Usually just one or two people doing everything. I don't know if that's the standard around the nation/world. You're right about being on call 24/7 and you'll need transportation. It can be backbreaking work with hoarder houses and the like. You'll spend 4 days filling up garbage bags to take to the dumpster then the 5th day tear down the furniture and carry that to the dumpster as well.

I enjoyed it because it was busy work where you didn't feel the clock ticking, the owners smoked pot with me, and it was a casual sort of environment with out uniforms, with out HRs and all that typical 9-5 hum drum.

However depending on the kind of contract you work out with them it might not pay the bills. It's a very "as needed" type of job and if you're getting paid by the job some months might be harder than others.

BBQ Dave
Jun 17, 2012

Well, that's easy for you to say. You have a bad imagination. It's stupid. I live in a fantasy world.

Bip Roberts posted:

Once you get up a good rep as a cleaner you just need to drum up some business by causing especially grizzly crimes and then rollin the bux cleaning them up.

Oh man, cool short story idea. Kinda like session 9.

I have a pretty strong stomach, but the more I think about it the worse 24/7 call time will be.

I'm trying to think of the gnarliest thing I ever had to clean, and I guess it's a fryer with five year old grease stalactites that seem to move if you stare at them long enough. I've moved roadkill off the road, but never had to handle a lot of animal corpses at once. The rat job volume mentioned sounds like something I could do, but I've never been in a hazmat suit before.

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Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
You'll be handling a lot of dead animals. A lot of mummified cats under the couch or parakeets in the freezer, or a :nms: rat that chewed through through an electrical plug and shocked it self to death.

You won't deal with human remains but you will deal with their leavings. You'll pick up a lot of piss bottles. You'll shovel out a few bathtubs full of poo poo. You're going to sweep up human hair and fingernails. Scrubbing blood and behind from ceiling and floor.

The suits themselves are hot and uncomfortable. And your going to sweat your rear end off. Buy they aren't needed for every job. Unattended deaths? Yes. Hoarder houses? Depends. Shotgun suicide? Nah gloves, goggles and respirator are enough for that.

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