Welp, looks like WW3 has started

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Welp, looks like WW3 has started

«‹›5 »

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

Young Freud posted:

Okay, back home, this is Russia's nuclear arsenal and delivery systems as of 2016.

Total warheads are about 7,300 warheads and physics packages, usable or not.

Russia's ground based forces are 299 ground-based launchers, with 146 silo-based and 153 on mobile launchers, and a total of 902 warheads among them. The Russian navy maintains 13 ballistic nuclear submarines, with a total of 512 warheads among them. The Russian aviation wings have 93 Tu-22M Backfire bombers (10 warheads per plane), another 68 Tu-22M used by Naval Aviation as maritime strike bombers for use against naval targets (3 warheads per plane), 11 combat-ready Tu-160 Blackjack (12 nuclear cruise missiles per plane), and 55 combat-ready Tu-95 Bear-H bombers (can carry up to 16 nuclear cruise missiles), giving strategic bombers about 2,146 nuclear-tipped bombs and cruise missiles. That's about 3500 warheads that be used realistically in an engagement. And this isn't including the smaller aircraft, like the Su-24 or the Su-27, that can carry tac nukes or the reserves like the 10 Tu-22 that are sequestered in warehouses and bunker hangers. Half to thee-quarters of those warheads would be lost in an American first strike (ideally, most of the aircraft will be destroyed before taking off or intercepted in route), leaving the mobile launchers and subs to lie in wait for retaliation orders.

Since I'm spouting off numbers, for comparison, the Soviets had to modify a Tu-95 bomber, which has a payload capacity of 15 tons, to carry the Tsar Bomba, which weight 27 tons. They also had to lower the yield of the Tsar Bomba test, because it was capable of 100 Megatons but, at that yield, it that would also produce about as much fallout as all nuclear tests at that point, plus the fallout would have hit mainland Russia and likely destroy the bomber delivering it.

send this poo poo to DOD, you have better number than they do

# ? Jun 27, 2016 00:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 18, 2024 14:14

redm: Feb 20, 2016; Sugartime Jones

https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/

redm fucked around with this message at 21:23 on Sep 20, 2016

# ? Jun 27, 2016 00:27

EvilJoven: Mar 18, 2005; NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?; Fun Shoe

I'd love nothing more than to line up all the heads of state of nuclear armed countries, call them all faggots and tell them to loving push the button already.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 00:39

naem: May 29, 2011

redm posted:

T̸͚̜̼̜̮͕̞̜̝̺̹̤̩̲̩̮̳̺͚ͧ͂͌͐̾ͤ́̿̎ͣͦ͋̍͂̈́̉̿̉̀͜͟͠R̥͙̱͍̱̭̱͓͖̬̯̰̼̩͍̘̖̲̊̏̾ͨ̔̆̋ͨͩ̈́̌ͦ̋͘͜͝I̧͓͍̻͉̪̼͐́̉̉̂͢ͅĢ̸̡̛͍̜̮̝̱͚͚̳̬̯ͦͪ͒̐͑͋͑̒ͯͬ͐̿͐G̶̜̹̼̙̰̗͔̬͙̯̯͔̰͈͛ͭ͛̔ͨ̀͞Ȩ̸̡̪̺̤̝̻̯̗͕͈̜̙͕̲̙̞̗̦̥͔̎̎́̓̏͛͊͑͋̏̅̓́̍́R̴̶̮̭͍̬͙̥͔̬͙̹͈͚̮͒ͬ̇ͤͩͩ̋͛͊̒ͣ̚͝E̍͛̔҉̻̣̼̰̗̥̫̘͇̝̬̮̘̖̦̝̫̬Ḑ̺̰̱̤̱͖̲̻̺̣̘̬̻̊̎̋̊ͫ́̒̉͊͂̕͞

# ? Jun 27, 2016 00:53

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

EvilJoven posted:

I'd love nothing more than to line up all the heads of state of nuclear armed countries, call them all faggots and tell them to loving push the button already.

that sounds fun

# ? Jun 27, 2016 01:02

Wee Stubby Nublet: Nov 20, 2015; by Lowtax

redm posted:

T̸͚̜̼̜̮͕̞̜̝̺̹̤̩̲̩̮̳̺͚ͧ͂͌͐̾ͤ́̿̎ͣͦ͋̍͂̈́̉̿̉̀͜͟͠R̥͙̱͍̱̭̱͓͖̬̯̰̼̩͍̘̖̲̊̏̾ͨ̔̆̋ͨͩ̈́̌ͦ̋͘͜͝I̧͓͍̻͉̪̼͐́̉̉̂͢ͅĢ̸̡̛͍̜̮̝̱͚͚̳̬̯ͦͪ͒̐͑͋͑̒ͯͬ͐̿͐G̶̜̹̼̙̰̗͔̬͙̯̯͔̰͈͛ͭ͛̔ͨ̀͞Ȩ̸̡̪̺̤̝̻̯̗͕͈̜̙͕̲̙̞̗̦̥͔̎̎́̓̏͛͊͑͋̏̅̓́̍́R̴̶̮̭͍̬͙̥͔̬͙̹͈͚̮͒ͬ̇ͤͩͩ̋͛͊̒ͣ̚͝E̍͛̔҉̻̣̼̰̗̥̫̘͇̝̬̮̘̖̦̝̫̬Ḑ̺̰̱̤̱͖̲̻̺̣̘̬̻̊̎̋̊ͫ́̒̉͊͂̕͞

Tiggered...

# ? Jun 27, 2016 01:09

thathonkey: Jul 17, 2012

Young Freud posted:

russia nuke info

yeah that's always been a challenge with nukes is how to deliver them to target by airplane and still give the pilots a chance at surviving

# ? Jun 27, 2016 01:13

A SWEATY FATBEARD: Oct 6, 2012; GAY 4 ORGANS

Communist menace!!! :bahgawd:

take your meds, grandpa

# ? Jun 27, 2016 01:24

Skeleton Ape: Dec 21, 2008

Young Freud posted:

Okay, back home, this is Russia's nuclear arsenal and delivery systems as of 2016.

Total warheads are about 7,300 warheads and physics packages, usable or not.

Russia's ground based forces are 299 ground-based launchers, with 146 silo-based and 153 on mobile launchers, and a total of 902 warheads among them. The Russian navy maintains 13 ballistic nuclear submarines, with a total of 512 warheads among them. The Russian aviation wings have 93 Tu-22M Backfire bombers (10 warheads per plane), another 68 Tu-22M used by Naval Aviation as maritime strike bombers for use against naval targets (3 warheads per plane), 11 combat-ready Tu-160 Blackjack (12 nuclear cruise missiles per plane), and 55 combat-ready Tu-95 Bear-H bombers (can carry up to 16 nuclear cruise missiles), giving strategic bombers about 2,146 nuclear-tipped bombs and cruise missiles. That's about 3500 warheads that be used realistically in an engagement. And this isn't including the smaller aircraft, like the Su-24 or the Su-27, that can carry tac nukes or the reserves like the 10 Tu-22 that are sequestered in warehouses and bunker hangers. Half to thee-quarters of those warheads would be lost in an American first strike (ideally, most of the aircraft will be destroyed before taking off or intercepted in route), leaving the mobile launchers and subs to lie in wait for retaliation orders.

Thank you for the update Mr. Putin.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 01:31

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

with who?

Not sure waiting for the draft to come, hoping on South Africa

# ? Jun 27, 2016 01:36

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

Im watching the news in the doctors waiting room and WW3 is starting with a real bang

# ? Jun 27, 2016 02:18

Fanatic: Mar 9, 2006

If the war is fought through Starcraft 2, then South Korea wouldn't surrender in your map OP

# ? Jun 27, 2016 02:44

ColoradoCleric: Dec 26, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Soviet invasion confirmed.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 05:18

Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

A ILL BREAKFAST posted:

true radiation fact - if you close one eye and can cover the mushroom cloud with your thumb at arms length, congratulations. you are not in the fallout zone. if you cant, you are, and you will probably die in traffic

That's hosed up, how do they know that?

Like, how many people had to die to find out that little trivia fact?

# ? Jun 27, 2016 07:24

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

Multiple Instances of War occurring over the whole World

# ? Jun 27, 2016 09:26

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

there are russian soldiers creeping around the parking lot stealing empty beer cans from the recycling

gun hot, clear to engage????

# ? Jun 27, 2016 09:56

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

sights on target, please advise.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 09:59

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

numberoneposter posted:

there are russian soldiers creeping around the parking lot stealing empty beer cans from the recycling

gun hot, clear to engage????

Im not in charge of this war

# ? Jun 27, 2016 10:00

Carlos Lantana: Oct 2, 2003; HOLY SHIT I JUST WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT BIRDS IN CAGES. DID YOU KNOW PUTTING BIRDS IN CAGES MAKES YOU LITERALLY WORSE THAN HITLER? CAUSE IT DOES AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU KNOW. I ALSO WANT YOU TO KISS YOURSELF IF YOU EVER THINK ABOUT PUTTING A BIRD IN A CAGE.

Built a big bonfire on the beach and booby trapped it with a 20l drum of tawny port.

When that last guy with the accordion passes out we're going to steal all their guns and the Kombi.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 13:50

Thots and Prayers: Jul 13, 2006; A is the for the atrocious abominated acts that YOu committed. A is also for ass-i-nine, eight, seven, and six.

B, b, b - b is for your belligerent, bitchy, bottomless state of affairs, but why?

C is for the cantankerous condition of our character, you have no cut-out.; Grimey Drawer

numberoneposter posted:

sights on target, please advise.

Roger #1P, engage at will

# ? Jun 27, 2016 14:29

pop fly to McGillicutty: Feb 2, 2004; A peckish little mouse!

Isaac posted:

Multiple Instances of War occurring over the whole World

Can confirm. Currently sitting on a toilet in Florida at war with my colon. Send reinforcements asap

# ? Jun 27, 2016 15:31

Skeleton Ape: Dec 21, 2008

Zombie Boat posted:

Can confirm. Currently sitting on a toilet in Florida at war with my colon. Send reinforcements asap

Fix bayonets.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 15:42

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

gently caress I just got picked up by India and got traded to Trinidad for some sniper monkeys

# ? Jun 27, 2016 16:18

Wee Stubby Nublet: Nov 20, 2015; by Lowtax

*looks over towards direction of parking lot, picks up radio, reports in* A small group of them have approached a vehicle in the lot. They've just jimmied the rear boot and chucked their haul of cans and poo poo in there. Now smashing front passenger window to gain access inside vehicle itself. *looks through sight* It's like one of those drug dealer cars, large, black paintjob, heavily tinted windows - l'm unsure what exact make/model is called though. Five guys in it, two in front three in back, headed our way. *fires off a round* Correction. Four guys visible. *boom, lets off another round* Correction, they're not headed our way anymore. *boom, fireball erupts from the road 200 feet away* Correction No vehicle.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 16:38

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

This is overlord. Reports of Russians disguised as busker. They have learned to play the guitar, repeat they are playing the guitar outside the 7-11. Engage with extreme prejudice. Good hunting, Overlord out.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 16:43

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

Rutibex posted:

makes sense they would keep up that part of their military at least. even if we could take out 3/4 of that, they could still nuke every major city in retaliation

I think that's an acceptable level of losses.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 18:10

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Lol how am I supposed to fight a world war with bananas?????!

# ? Jun 27, 2016 18:52

Masturbasturd: Sep 1, 2014

All stations all stations...Pleased be advised that Protocol 6969 is in effect. All communications must be terminated with that static/squelch noise, copy.

grrrrttttt

# ? Jun 27, 2016 18:55

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Fried plantain MREs?!???

# ? Jun 27, 2016 18:58

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

this is rhino 2-1 actual, the russians are starting to fatigue but they are regrouping by sleeping on the park benches and they now have access to cooking sherry, overlord please advise.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 19:04

Thots and Prayers: Jul 13, 2006; A is the for the atrocious abominated acts that YOu committed. A is also for ass-i-nine, eight, seven, and six.

B, b, b - b is for your belligerent, bitchy, bottomless state of affairs, but why?

C is for the cantankerous condition of our character, you have no cut-out.; Grimey Drawer

I'm nominating all of you for medals if we ever make it out of this hellhole.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 19:17

Thots and Prayers: Jul 13, 2006; A is the for the atrocious abominated acts that YOu committed. A is also for ass-i-nine, eight, seven, and six.

B, b, b - b is for your belligerent, bitchy, bottomless state of affairs, but why?

C is for the cantankerous condition of our character, you have no cut-out.; Grimey Drawer

Over. *pfffzzzhhht*

# ? Jun 27, 2016 19:17

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Zahgaegun posted:

I'm nominating all of you for medals if we ever make it out of this hellhole.

ill buy you guys a round of beers if we get through this, HELL ILL BUY THE WHOLE drat BAR!!!

# ? Jun 27, 2016 19:20

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

Missile Silo Online

# ? Jun 27, 2016 23:37

Roylicious: Feb 21, 2012; Braver than the cops
ain't afraid of no chaps
If they steppin up on me
I just start bustin some caps

Young Freud posted:

Okay, back home, this is Russia's nuclear arsenal and delivery systems as of 2016.

Total warheads are about 7,300 warheads and physics packages, usable or not.

Russia's ground based forces are 299 ground-based launchers, with 146 silo-based and 153 on mobile launchers, and a total of 902 warheads among them. The Russian navy maintains 13 ballistic nuclear submarines, with a total of 512 warheads among them. The Russian aviation wings have 93 Tu-22M Backfire bombers (10 warheads per plane), another 68 Tu-22M used by Naval Aviation as maritime strike bombers for use against naval targets (3 warheads per plane), 11 combat-ready Tu-160 Blackjack (12 nuclear cruise missiles per plane), and 55 combat-ready Tu-95 Bear-H bombers (can carry up to 16 nuclear cruise missiles), giving strategic bombers about 2,146 nuclear-tipped bombs and cruise missiles. That's about 3500 warheads that be used realistically in an engagement. And this isn't including the smaller aircraft, like the Su-24 or the Su-27, that can carry tac nukes or the reserves like the 10 Tu-22 that are sequestered in warehouses and bunker hangers. Half to thee-quarters of those warheads would be lost in an American first strike (ideally, most of the aircraft will be destroyed before taking off or intercepted in route), leaving the mobile launchers and subs to lie in wait for retaliation orders.

Since I'm spouting off numbers, for comparison, the Soviets had to modify a Tu-95 bomber, which has a payload capacity of 15 tons, to carry the Tsar Bomba, which weight 27 tons. They also had to lower the yield of the Tsar Bomba test, because it was capable of 100 Megatons but, at that yield, it that would also produce about as much fallout as all nuclear tests at that point, plus the fallout would have hit mainland Russia and likely destroy the bomber delivering it.

None of this matters because in reality what happens is the Russians launch a rocket that may or may not have a nuke on it (or even make it into orbit) and NORAD trips out and we launch so many ICBMs in response that the entire planet is uninhabitable for a thousand years.

We already almost bit it during the Cold War when the Russians thought a computer graphical glitch was the US launching a preemptive strike.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 23:39

The Fuzzy Hulk: Nov 22, 2007; ASK ME ABOUT CROSSING THE STREAMS

In a full out nuclear war where every missle gets shot and every bomb dropped, do they really have so many extras that Eugene, Oregon has to worry?

# ? Jun 28, 2016 01:15

Wee Stubby Nublet: Nov 20, 2015; by Lowtax

numberoneposter posted:

This is overlord. Reports of Russians disguised as busker. They have learned to play the guitar, repeat they are playing the guitar outside the 7-11. Engage with extreme prejudice. Good hunting, Overlord out.

*looks over at neighbouring unit and thinks to self that he looks so engaging when talking, reeks of an ingrained authority, it's palpable, oozing out of him... risks a berating lecture from my Sarge about overlapping co-ordinates and friendly-fire deaths to move in closer and eavesdrop on Overlord giving his unit a pep talk right before they engage the guitar Russians in a knife fight in an effort to reduce civilian hysteria, and fatalities, from their barking M16's...*

Okay, guys, we ready? Knives ready? Remember, it means only one thing, and everything: Cut. Once committed to fight, Cut. Everything else is secondary. Cut. That is your duty, your purpose, your hunger. There is no rule more important, no commitment that overrides that one. Cut. The lines are a portrayal of the dance. Cut from the void, not from bewilderment. Cut the enemy as quickly and directly as possible. Cut with certainty. Cut decisively, resolutely. Cut into his strength. Flow through the gaps in his guard. Cut him. Cut him down utterly. Don't allow him a breath. Crush him. Cut him without mercy to the depth of his spirit. It is the balance to life: death. It is the dance with death. It the law a warlord overlord lives by, or he dies.

*as him and his guys head off towards the 7-11, thinks to self that I have so gotta put in an application to change units... thighs quiver*

# ? Jun 28, 2016 09:31

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 18, 2024 14:14

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

WW3 - ITS BACK

# ? Jun 28, 2016 23:44

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Welp, looks like WW3 has started

«‹›5 »