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  • Locked thread
Shaquin
May 12, 2007
did he at least look good in his sisters pants

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raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Depends on if "poor and miserable @ 13" looks sexy 2u

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
*Steeples fingers*

DICKLORD BONE
Aug 27, 2003
That pussy dad probably had a pound of weed in his gay hippie-mobile. Makes you think

Drunk & Ugly
Feb 10, 2003

GIMME GIMME GIMME, DON'T ASK WHAT FOR

DICKLORD BONE posted:

That pussy dad probably had a pound of weed in his gay hippie-mobile. Makes you think

i am honored to make your acquaintensce sir dicklord bone

Lord Frankenstyle
Dec 3, 2005

Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

Sheep-Goats posted:

gave him enough money to go back to college to be a nurse

Ahahaha.







Boy nurse.

Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.
he worked at nintendo and programmed Custer's Revenege

hitchensgoespop
Oct 22, 2008
OP needs to apologies, personally, to every single member of this dead forum.....yes even two worlds & Caro ......or suffer a lifetime of torment for posting this abomination.

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot
Hell Gem
a dad of a friend
what a dad
and a potter
:itoilet:

Barnum Brown Shoes
Jan 29, 2013

When I was ten, we used to collect crab apples and hide in the woods. Then we would throw them at cars.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
I went to high school with a girl named Sabrina Waller who all 4 years of high school played the same bizarre game. She had a weird body, like she wasn't fat at all except right in her belly and looked full-term pregnant. She'd spend all year talking about her baby this and her baby that and she only ever wore soft cotton short shorts and skintight t-shirts but her belly never got any bigger and by the end of the year she was always holding her belly and saying "any day now..."

Then next year she'd come back the exact same size and tell how she had her baby and her mom made her give it up for adoption and now she was pregnant again. She'd even talk about how she got to name it and it was always a crazy white trash name like Heavenly Music Waller.

Every year. Plus it was a very small town it's not like we didn't all know and see her at Kmart over summer vacation and there she was round as ever.

BoonyPC
Feb 19, 2007
I'd like to meet that Dad

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:
im sober now but i still can't tell what this thread is

what is it

Drunk & Ugly
Feb 10, 2003

GIMME GIMME GIMME, DON'T ASK WHAT FOR

criscodisco posted:

I went to high school with a girl named Sabrina Waller who all 4 years of high school played the same bizarre game. She had a weird body, like she wasn't fat at all except right in her belly and looked full-term pregnant. She'd spend all year talking about her baby this and her baby that and she only ever wore soft cotton short shorts and skintight t-shirts but her belly never got any bigger and by the end of the year she was always holding her belly and saying "any day now..."

Then next year she'd come back the exact same size and tell how she had her baby and her mom made her give it up for adoption and now she was pregnant again. She'd even talk about how she got to name it and it was always a crazy white trash name like Heavenly Music Waller.

Every year. Plus it was a very small town it's not like we didn't all know and see her at Kmart over summer vacation and there she was round as ever.

that's pretty impressive

are you sure it was waller and not duggar

Crunk Magnet
Feb 19, 2004
Poop Soup
What color is the that he bought? Also, are you upset your grandma didn't love you? Man, I hope you're just doing good irl bud. I will pray for you. =)

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



whoflungpoop posted:

my friend's dad showed us a video of a lady smoking a cigarette with her vagina

i'llnever understand the french

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
We didn't suffer apple wingers in my hood. There was a couple kids back in oh...78 79 there abouts that got to winging apples, we cut their heads off and wung them with the very same stick they were using. Musta scerred the hell out of rest of 'em cause we haven't seen a winger in that hood since.

loving apple wingers.

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012

Sheep goats, thank you for your story. I have a crab apple tree in my yard and a sturdy stick that I can sharpen an end of to stick apples on, I will begin huckin' apples as soon as they're ready :D

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy
A friend's dad is a peculiar creature.

Gay Weed Dad
Jul 12, 2016

cool dude, flyin' high

BoonyPC posted:

I'd like to meet that Dad

Same, may we have his email?

OP, I'm confused about the moral of this story. Was it really New Jersey after all?

DICKLORD BONE
Aug 27, 2003

Drunk & Ugly posted:

i am honored to make your acquaintensce sir dicklord bone

Ah yes hello and well met. It is good to be here, posting in this thread.

Elusif
Jun 9, 2008

A misanthrope posted:

sheep goats, i gotta be honest and say i been away a while and dont remember if i like you or not

but this? this thread here? this is a bad thread. i will reserve judgement on you as a poster until i can re-familiarize myself with your work.

hey AM i got a good thread for your RIGHT HERE





Tinestram
Jan 13, 2006

Excalibur? More like "Needle"

Grimey Drawer
just so you know, the reason the apples sucked is most likely because the blossoms weren't properly thinned. To get big apples you need to make sure they aren't too crowded.

another fact I learned from anime

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

notZaar posted:

A friend's dad is a peculiar creature.

Uh huh, uh huh

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

E Equals MC Hammer posted:

hey AM i got a good thread for your RIGHT HERE







that fuckin klown, man

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"
I read the whole thing and I can't really decide if this is a good or bad thread

kalel
Jun 19, 2012

when I was a wee youngun my dad had a friend who lived near us. he brought me to his house sometimes to play with his kids, a boy and a girl. the boy was kind of a bore but he had a hot wheels video game I loved to play. the girl had a hilariously bulbous forehead and that's all I remember about her. rarely saw the mom but I remember getting the impression she was "suburban happy," like she was too smiley and outgoing almost to the point of insincerity. she was friendly with my mother though. didn't think much of the dad. he was rather curt with his kids and children in general, I noticed.

at some point my father stopped taking me to their house and never mentioned his friend again. didn't notice at the time because I didn't really think of the kids as my friends. some time later my father got caught in bed with another man (not the friend, a man I've never met) who he later married after my parents divorced. I only ever saw the dad friend one more time in my life, years after the divorce. he came to my house by himself when my mom and the siblings were out; knocked on the door, asked how I was doing and how the family was doing (fine, fine, they're out right now). told me to let him know if I or my family needed anything from him and to let my mom know he stopped by. I never did though. later on the kid mentioned in passing that his parents had been divorced for years (we were in high school by that point).

sometimes I wonder if my dad had an affair with the friend before having an affair with his now-husband. maybe dad "cheated" on him, or vice versa. or perhaps it was all a set of unrelated coincidences. I'm not on speaking terms with my father right now, and I probably won't ask my mother about it. just one of life's little unsolved mysteries

tl;dr dad may or may not have had an affair with his dad friend. no crab apples involved in this story

Kitsunegari
Aug 5, 2013
i think your dad might be gay dude

Lawrence Gilchrist
Mar 31, 2010


some say lovers are held together by a red thread

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
http://i.imgur.com/ikOu5Tx.mp4

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot
Hell Gem
WhiteDadSmilesatAsian.gif please


Nevermind Thx OP!!!

Horrorosaurus
Oct 22, 2010

Can't believe I'm the first to point this out to you OP since it's written all over your story... the weird metaphors and subconsciously keeping your distance by just calling him "a friend's dad" instead of "JIMMY". When in highschool, your friends dad molested you. Have a nice weekend nevertheless and god bless you.

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

SciFiDownBeat posted:

when I was a wee youngun my dad had a friend who lived near us. he brought me to his house sometimes to play with his kids, a boy and a girl. the boy was kind of a bore but he had a hot wheels video game I loved to play. the girl had a hilariously bulbous forehead and that's all I remember about her. rarely saw the mom but I remember getting the impression she was "suburban happy," like she was too smiley and outgoing almost to the point of insincerity. she was friendly with my mother though. didn't think much of the dad. he was rather curt with his kids and children in general, I noticed.

at some point my father stopped taking me to their house and never mentioned his friend again. didn't notice at the time because I didn't really think of the kids as my friends. some time later my father got caught in bed with another man (not the friend, a man I've never met) who he later married after my parents divorced. I only ever saw the dad friend one more time in my life, years after the divorce. he came to my house by himself when my mom and the siblings were out; knocked on the door, asked how I was doing and how the family was doing (fine, fine, they're out right now). told me to let him know if I or my family needed anything from him and to let my mom know he stopped by. I never did though. later on the kid mentioned in passing that his parents had been divorced for years (we were in high school by that point).

sometimes I wonder if my dad had an affair with the friend before having an affair with his now-husband. maybe dad "cheated" on him, or vice versa. or perhaps it was all a set of unrelated coincidences. I'm not on speaking terms with my father right now, and I probably won't ask my mother about it. just one of life's little unsolved mysteries

tl;dr dad may or may not have had an affair with his dad friend. no crab apples involved in this story

Just think, if gay rights werent illegal back then, then your dad wouldn't have been shamed into having sex with a woman and you would never have been born.

FIGHT THOSE RIGHTS!

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

I finally truly understand the op... jesus... I have to get to salley, south carolina as soon as possible.

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug
Well, was he right? Was it not New Jersey?

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raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

gleebster posted:

Well, was he right? Was it not New Jersey?

Lemme gleeb on that fer a minne, til I done gleebed it

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