|
FactsAreUseless posted:[The following is an excerpt from the 1979 erotic masterpiece The Seven Nights Of Elizabella Spongecake, by Harriet Smythe-Smythe] For the love of all that is holy use NWS tags, think of the children!
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2016 03:07
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 16, 2024 14:36 |
|
|
|
She was plain, but not really, as anyone with eyes could see. Today that anyone was a man named Matt, who definitely had eyes, two of the, and they were good eyes. They were blue like his blue shirt, and they could see that the plain girl was actually very pretty. He liked her for this, because he felt smart to notice she was pretty when other people did not. He would use this special knowledge to win her affection, because he would be the one to tell her the truth about her being pretty, and not plain as she imagines.
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2016 05:39
|
|
|
"Hello Ann, I like you." Said Jeff to Ann. Ann said to Jeff, "Hello Jeff, I also like you." "What I said was true, but it was not true all the way. I like you very much." Said Jeff to Ann. Ann, who was talking to Jeff, said, "I also like you very much. I like you so much that I want to be more than friends with you, which is called a girlfriend." Jeff had a smile on his face, when he said to Ann, "That is also the feeling that I am feeling. I am also feeling happy that we are feeling the same feeling. It is good to be feeling these feelings. It is not bad to not be feeling these feelings, if you are feeling that you do not feel the same feeling that I am feeling." Ann said to Jeff, "I know that it is not bad to have different feelings. Right now I do feel the same feelings. I will be your girlfriend. You will be my boyfriend. In one year it will be our one year anniversary, because today is the day we started being a girlfriend and boyfriend" Troy said to himself, "ugh, there she goes again going for some jerk. I'm always so nice to her, but she won't touch my private areas the way I want to touch hers! I bet she touches the private areas of lots of other guys." |
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2016 07:22
|
|
|
|
He grabbed her by the hand and said, "your face is good" Her face went red and she nodded, "your face is very good" They both began to feel nice, and squeezed hands tight. He looked to the side, "let us have fun tonight." She moves her head to the side, "what do you mean by have fun tonight?" He smiled and leaned in to kiss her on bone lips, "let us spook together..." They were both skeletons in love.
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2016 08:25
|
|
|
On a beach at a resort somewhere in the world a young very attractive woman walked on the sand. She was a very hot young lady. She was so hot it wasn't really funny. She was hotter than a summer day when it's like, I dunno- 94? Yeah. She was at least as hot as a 94 degree day in the summertime. But not one of those muggy, humid days where you can't get comfortable no matter where the shade is, even if the shade was let's say for example where Pete right now was sitting. Before I forget, Pete is the gardener for the resort that the other person in this PG romance novel was walking on the beach just a few short sentences ago, remember? Pete could easily see the hotness of the woman on the beach, the woman who's beauty compares to a hot (but not humid) summer day. Pete was consumed by the fires of her hotness, and soon burst into flames. Now-on-fire Pete couldn't take it anymore and had to hold this amazingly hot woman in his arms and, ablaze now with his lust, rose up out of the shadows of the shade in which he was seeking to cool off from what was otherwise just a hot day and began walking toward her. The woman, suddenly greeted with the horrifying visage of a man consumed utterly by flames and was even now reaching out for her could feel the beginnings of a fainting spell showing up at her place. She understandably couldn't take it anymore and fainted. Pete burst into a fiery explosion and was no more. Other people at the same beach didn't do anything to save Pete because let's face it folks, it weasn't their problem and where the hell was the waiter with that drink? THE END (thank God) https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2016 13:43
|
|
|
You want to go to the dance with Greg, but you also want to go to the dance with Casey. Casey has a leather jacket. "I want to go the dance with Greg and Casey!" you think. You do not want to go to the dance with Greg and Casey at the same time. You want to go to two dances. One of the dances will be with Greg. The other dance will be with Casey. You want both of those dances to be on Friday night, at the same time. Your head begins hurting. "This is hurting my head," you think. "Greg, my head is hurting," you tell the phone. Greg will hear your voice because he is listening on his phone, and the phone will say your voice to him. "My head is hurting so I can't answer your question right now. It is hurting because..." you look at your bedroom. There is a math book in your bedroom, from when you were doing your math homework. "My head is hurting because of the math homework I was doing." "Math homework is boring," says Greg. This makes you like Greg more, because he understands about math homework being boring. "I like Greg more now. But Casey might also think math homework is boring," you think. "I will tell you whether I will go to the dance with you tomorrow at school." Casey will be at school tomorrow. Casey is a student at the school, not a teacher. Greg's voice sounds like  "Oh, okay" Greg's voice says. His voice changes because now he is thinking of happy things. "Tomorrow I will wear good clothes and smell nice. You will want to go to the dance with me more." You say goodbye to Greg's voice. TO GO TO SLEEP, WHICH WILL MAKE IT TOMORROW WHEN YOU ARE AT SCHOOL, TURN TO PAGE 4 TO LOOK AT THINGS IN YOUR ROOM THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY, LIKE YOUR POSTERS AND LAMP, DO NOT TURN THE PAGE ---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2016 14:10
|
|
|
|
His name was Bipedal Steve, and he was. She liked that about him, and she also liked being part of a mystery-solving knitting club. |
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2016 14:54
|
|
|
|
Ostentatious posted:He grabbed her by the hand and said, "your face is good" 
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2016 15:25
|
|
|
|
FactsAreUseless posted:"I am the billionaire sheik," he said. |
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2016 19:41
|
|
|
misty mountaintop posted:You want to go to the dance with Greg, but you also want to go to the dance with Casey. Casey has a leather jacket. "I want to go the dance with Greg and Casey!" you think. Turn to page 5!
|
|
#
?
Aug 29, 2016 06:07
|
|
|
|
Ostentatious posted:He grabbed her by the hand and said, "your face is good" He pulled opened the treasure chest at their feet. She looked down and brought both arms to her face in delight. "A rusty old helmet and some ratty chainmail! Just what I wanted... How thoughtful!" He grinned, of course that's all he could do really, and grabbed his short sword from the desk. "Let's go kill some adventurer fuckbois, my love." |
|
#
?
Aug 29, 2016 07:07
|
|
|
|
The adventurer cast a murderous spell at the skeleton husband, but could not harm him, as he was protected by the greatest magic of all: Love. The spell bounced back and blew the mage to smithereens. |
|
#
?
Aug 29, 2016 07:11
|
|
|
|
I am very hot, I am told. I was looking into a mirror and noticed how hot I am. The way the hair falls upon my face said to me that I am very hot. "I am very hot," I talked to the mirror. I am very hot. I picked up my phone and called a girl that I know. I like her. When the phone connected, I told her, "I am very hot and we should be together." Her breaths were short and fast. She knows that I am very hot. We went for dinner, it was something I enjoy a lot, hamburger sandwich with cheese, but we were looking at each other for a long time and I know that she likes me. "You are very hot," she said. "I know," I said. I did not like the sandwich, but we were friends and we ???????? exchanged? a kiss and we were quite good friends for a night. ---------------- |
|
#
?
Aug 29, 2016 11:07
|
|
|
|
misty mountaintop posted:The phone rings. When you pick it up, a good voice talks to you. It says "This is Greg." You can't see Greg. His voice is in your ear, but Greg is somewhere else. You can remember Greg, though. FutonForensic posted:Tyler put me on the bed. He did this gently. "Jeepers!" I said, "What are you going to do to me, guy?" |
|
#
?
Aug 29, 2016 17:30
|
|
|
|
good thread bummpp
|
|
#
?
Oct 2, 2016 18:03
|
|
|
FluffieDuckula posted:good thread bummpp 5'd |
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2016 14:10
|
|
|
|
FluffieDuckula posted:good thread bummpp edit: sorry, old habit |
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2016 14:35
|
|
|
|
soon
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2016 15:36
|
|
|
|
I loved Jeremy. He was very strong and, because Jeremy was very strong, he could life heavy things up off of the ground with his arms and legs, the parts of his body that contained the source of his strength (the sources of his strength are his strong muscles inside of his arms and legs). Jeremy loved me back; however, I am not as strong as Jeremy is. You may be confused as to why Jeremy loved me back even though I am not strong. Jeremy's mother is also confused about this and tells me every day. Jeremy was a very strong airplane driver. Jeremy loved driving his airplane in the skies. Jeremy loved the skies. Jeremy often told me that his love for the skies was a little less than his love for me. Jeremy said that if I did not exist, Jeremy would have married the skies. Jeremy's mother often reminds Jeremy that it is not too late. |
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2016 17:17
|
|
|
|
In the barn where Chad worked the horses were making little horses. Chad saw me and asked if I wanted to do the same. I was not sure I wanted to make little horses with Chad, but at the same time it made me think of a nice life with Chad, raising our little horses. We put our horse making parts together. Chad had very good horse making parts and I told him so. He told me that my horse making parts were very nice. I hope we will make horses again.
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2016 18:16
|
|
|
Manifisto posted:In the barn where Chad worked the horses were making little horses. Chad saw me and asked if I wanted to do the same. I was not sure I wanted to make little horses with Chad, but at the same time it made me think of a nice life with Chad, raising our little horses. We put our horse making parts together. Chad had very good horse making parts and I told him so. He told me that my horse making parts were very nice. I hope we will make horses again. |
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2016 19:38
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 16, 2024 14:36 |
|
|
Manifisto posted:In the barn where Chad worked the horses were making little horses. Chad saw me and asked if I wanted to do the same. I was not sure I wanted to make little horses with Chad, but at the same time it made me think of a nice life with Chad, raising our little horses. We put our horse making parts together. Chad had very good horse making parts and I told him so. He told me that my horse making parts were very nice. I hope we will make horses again.
|
|
#
?
Oct 3, 2016 20:10
|
|
