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surf rock
Aug 12, 2007

We need more women in STEM, and by that, I mean skateboarding, television, esports, and magic.
I'm a regular goon (white male twentysomething from the American Midwest) who just got his U.S. passport. I want to visit every populated continent in the world over the next decade, but I don't know a lot about Africa. I have a hard time believing the image that American pop culture pushes about Africa (that it's 100% blood diamonds, ISIS, child soldiers, and endless conflicts between tribal warlords and corrupt governments), but that's basically the only information I've ever gotten about the world's second-largest continent.

In terms of what type of tourist I am, I'm not really into the food, drinking, clubbing, or museum elements. I like to visit historical sites, see cultural events (festivals, theatre, sports, etc.), and chat with people. I'd probably want to go on some kind of nature tour as well to see cool landscapes and animals. I'm somewhat out-of-shape but about as much as your average American; in other words, I could do some hiking or physical activity as long as it's not crazy intense or several days in a row.

A couple other things to note, I'm honestly kind of gullible, so I'd like to avoid areas that are really thick with tourist scams because I'll probably end up getting suckered since I'm a big doofus. I don't know any languages beside English for the time being, unfortunately, so I would need to visit somewhere that a decent percentage of the population can also speak English. I realize I'm not painting the rosiest picture of myself here, but I'd like to be realistic about the sorts of poo poo I could manage to get myself into.

My sense is that the best places for me to visit are Egypt, Kenya, and South Africa. I suspect over the course of my life I'll want to do two or three trips to Africa, so I'd like to have five or six countries in mind as possibilities. Any suggestions for countries to visit or specific cities/sights/events to see?

If more information is needed in order to make a recommendation, just let me know. Thank you!

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Saladman
Jan 12, 2010
Being gullible usually only means you're going to get scammed out of a few bucks by a taxi, unless you're super stupid (e.g. going out drinking at night alone, or following people / getting in a car with strangers who invite you somewhere; NB although doing that can also lead to some of the best possible experiences).

Morocco's pretty easy to get around without speaking French. Tunisia also to a somewhat lesser extent. As far as harassment of tourists, Egypt is probably a lot easier now than it used to be--though no personal experience--given that the flocks of tourists have all left. Tunisia is certainly way calmer now than Morocco w.r.t. harassment since tourists are so rare especially this year.

The general highlights for tourists would be:

• Cape Town & Wine Country
• Johannesburg and Kruger NP
• Namibia Skeleton Coast and Etosha NP
• Victoria Falls
• Zanzibar / Serengeti / Nairobi / Mt Kilimanjaro / plenty of other major national parks in the general area
• Look at gorillas (Rwanda)
• History: Northern Tunisia, anywhere in Morocco, anywhere in Egypt, many parts of Ethiopian highlands
• Sit on a beach: Senegal
• Quite a few safari areas not mentioned, e.g. Botswana.

English will do for you fine in most of those places except for Senegal, Rwanda, and kind of Morocco and Tunisia (you'd want to speak French).

There are plenty of off the beaten track areas you could go that are fine and safe (e.g. Cameroon, Guinea, Zambia, Burkina Faso), but IMO probably not worth it unless you know someone who lives there and can show you around, especially when there are so many other cool areas to visit. There are only a few countries that really you should not go to (CAR, South Sudan, Zimbabwe, Libya) and then a fair number of others with large no-go zones (Nigeria, DRC, Mali, Somalia) or countries that will simply difficult/nearly impossible to visit (Angola, Sudan, Algeria, Somaliland, Eritrea).

My only personal experience is around Morocco, Tunisia, Cameroon, Kenya, and Tanzania, probably about 3 months total altogether traveling around those places. People occasionally post about African countries here and usually the threads don't get a ton of traction except South Africa and Morocco.

Saladman fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Sep 5, 2016

Savage For The Winjun
Jun 27, 2008


I've been to Rwanda and Liberia, both kicked rear end for very different reasons. I would not however, ever return to either of these places. There is no food despite being a goddamn jungle, and the poverty is insane. Everyone spoke English who I interacted with, in Rwanda they also spoke French and their native tongue, in Liberia everyone just spoke English cuz as far as they're concerned they are America.

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.
OP I would second Saladman's recommendations. There are amazing sights and experiences available in all of those countries, and all of them are decent enough to travel in. Read through the wikitravel or wikivoyage articles for each country, see what sounds interesting to you and what doesn't. Africa is a fantastic continent with such a rich history, beautiful people and incredible diversity that everyone should visit at least once. However - it can be very tough to travel in at times, particularly if you're a novice traveller.

Since you seem like a novice traveller (no offence!), I'd actually recommend doing a small-group tour like the ones offered by Intrepid. They have a maximum group size of 12, and are marketed at younger travellers who've grown out of the party travelling scene and want more cultural or historic experiences. I did a 2-week Intrepid tour through Egypt about 5 years ago and I couldn't recommend it enough. They give you enough freedom to do your own thing in each place, but they also sort out the logistics of getting around for you (which can be the most annoying part of travel).

And a few other tips that may not be obvious (note that these aren't Africa-specific in any way):
- Learn a few words of the language where you're travelling. Sometimes this is difficult in Africa because there might be 10-20 ethnic languages spoken in one country, but do your best. Even just being able to say hello, goodbye, please, and thank you goes a huge way towards breaking barriers.
- Always ask a price before agreeing to something, no matter how big or small that something is. This goes double when a local woman asks you to buy her a drink in a bar!
- Split up your cash into various storage places on your person. Don't be that guy who flashes a month's salary in front of a cab driver while looking for the right banknote.
- Be wary of a stranger offering help completely unbidden - there is usually a price involved.
- Never believe anyone (especially taxi drivers) who tell you that <major attraction x> is closed today, but they can recommend something else instead.
- If you don't want something, stay firm and assertive but don't lose your cool and shout (unless you've literally just been mugged or something). You may be in the right, but in my experience locals usually close ranks against the angry foreigner.
- Pack light, oh god please pack light. You don't need a 2L bottle of shampoo for a one-week trip! Just take a week's worth of clothes and wash them at a laundromat or laundry service outside the hotel. My wife and I are currently doing a six month trip around south east Asia with only carry-on luggage and a small iPad-sized tote bag each. And don't use the hotel's washing service, I guarantee it's almost the same price as buying new clothes.
- On the subject - don't get a giant rigid suitcase with wheels! They work great in smoothly carpeted or tiled airport floors and on the nice even pavements of Western cities, but in the developing and third world, sidewalks generally don't exist. Your fancy suitcase is now a gigantic pain in the arse.
- Don't discuss politics or religion with locals unless they bring it up, and even then tread carefully. The stereotype of the American Traveller is fading these days, but definitely still exists in places and sometimes for good reason. (If you're unaware, Americans in many places are considered loud, uncouth, disrespectful and incurious, though in many places locals now just apply this stereotype to Chinese tourists instead).

But above all, stay calm and take everything on the chin. Unless you're seriously unlucky you probably won't get scammed anything worse than $10-20, just write it off as a rookie mistake and try to recognise the warning signs next time. And in Africa - chill out. Everything runs on "Africa time". You'll get there eventually! Just don't organise a tight schedule and expect it to come off like clockwork.

Saladman
Jan 12, 2010
Oh, and one thing you'll definitely get hammered on is if you ever buy a souvenir or have to negotiate a price (e.g. taxis). Food, buses, and hotels are usually fixed price and you'll rarely get screwed for essential travel things except taxis. More proper stores (rather than stalls) will usually negotiate prices, but not nearly as much — I imagine they'll be managed by someone who's not working there, so the employees really don't have that much flexibility.

OTOH if you go somewhere off the beaten track first, you'll find out much more quickly what the 'real' prices for things are, and then you'll be much better at negotiating elsewhere. It's amazing how much easier buying poo poo was in Nicaragua and Tunisia than in Costa Rica or Morocco, for instance.

Rule of thumb: if there are listed prices, never pay more than 1/2 of that, ever, for anything (NB; does not apply to food, hotels, transport).
Rule of thumb: if someone starts with a ridiculously high price, just walk out. You might be able to bargain them down to half, but you'll still pay the list price of the guy next door's stall. Don't support assholes.
Rule of secret third thumb: Never buy anything in the first shop you see it in. Ten other shops will have the exact same thing.

You will very quickly get to notice the type of salesman who's a conman (occasionally conwoman). A quiet demeanor is almost always a better sign than a friendly demeanor.

Edit: You should buy stuff you like too, don't worry too much about the price. Also keep in mind that you don't want to buy big/heavy poo poo at the beginning of your trip.

Saladman fucked around with this message at 11:13 on Sep 6, 2016

surf rock
Aug 12, 2007

We need more women in STEM, and by that, I mean skateboarding, television, esports, and magic.
This is awesome advice, thank you all. I appreciate the level of detail as well as the reassurances.

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

Nigeria owns. The Fela Kuti Shrine in Lagos and the Calabar Carnival are must-see. The food is mostly terrible and gets better as you go north, but I could live off suya, jollof rice and palm wine. The Boko Haram areas are beautiful wet-dry forests with wildlife everywhere. I regret I didn't get to see the rain forest mountains in the southeast on the Cameroon border.

Saladman
Jan 12, 2010
I'm not sure I'd put Boko Haram territory (or even the territory recaptured by the army) high on a list of first places in Africa to visit....

I spent two weeks in the rainforest highlands of Cameroon near the Nigerian border and it was super nice. I've heard and IME also that the highland areas of tropical Africa own in general (eg highland Ethiopia, Rwanda, northern TZ, southern Kenya, central/western Cameroon). Such nice weather. For OP, some parts of Cameroon in that area used to be English colonies and today people still speak English so that's also a reasonable place to visit. (Though most people just learn French today; I don't know how it holds up in practice because I spoke to everyone in French.)

Lowland places in equatorial Africa can be hot and miserable and good luck finding AC. Nice hotels like Hilton are often REALLY expensive even by Western pricing standards, like Chicago/Boston prices if not more

E: I guess Burundi is also a tropical highland country, and I've never heard anything good about it (though I only know Rwandans and expats who have lived in Rwanda... though the news coming out of there doesn't sound so great either).

Saladman fucked around with this message at 00:12 on Sep 11, 2016

Senor P.
Mar 27, 2006
I MUST TELL YOU HOW PEOPLE CARE ABOUT STUFF I DONT AND BE A COMPLETE CUNT ABOUT IT
Namibia(Windhoek for a day or two, then to the coast.) and South Africa (Cape town) are both solid.

I would not advise Egypt, a lot of people I've talked to who have gone there have been dissapointed. Plus the current situation is not that hot.

Alpenglow
Mar 12, 2007

Ghana in July has similar or better weather than the same time in the Midwest, has a mostly English-fluent population, and is very safe outside horrifyingly fast tro-tro rides. Great food and consistently friendly and honest people, with a rare exception of the touristy arts market in the capital (there's a better, chill one in another area). Only about 20% of my program got sick in 6 weeks throughout the southern part of the country. Overall, Ghanaians have their poo poo together and it's a safe place for a lone white guy.

Downsides are a lack of big game animals and information on things, but that's why you ask the market ladies.

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webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Senor P. posted:

I would not advise Egypt, a lot of people I've talked to who have gone there have been dissapointed. Plus the current situation is not that hot.

Not picking on you or anything, but Egypt has been a tourist attraction for like 2000 years now, so I'm surprised that someone could travel there and be disappointed? Curious to know how they were disappointed - out of all the countries I've visited, Egypt was probably the most closely aligned with my expectations.

I guess if you've never travelled to a 3rd world country before and aren't expecting the touts and average hotels, or if you're a woman and not expecting the hassles, maybe?

Admittedly I haven't followed the security situation there closely lately, but when I was there in 2011 it was the middle of the revolution (Mubarak had resigned, but the army vs Muslim Brotherhood conflict hadn't started up yet) and I never felt unsafe. We had people constantly coming up to us in the streets, telling us that they love tourists, and pleading with us to go home and tell our friends to visit Egypt. Tourism is (or was, at least) the lifeblood of their economy, and all the political turmoil was stopping tourists from coming and thus forcing locals into poverty :(

And honestly, everyone was very clear that the revolution was against the government. They had absolutely no problems with Westerners.

OP I realise it's not Africa, but I'd also recommend several countries in the middle east to visit that may not be on your radar! Jordan is amazing, Lebanon is great, Turkey is fantastic and Iran (despite what you may have heard) is the most surprising place on earth. Iranians are amazingly friendly and hospitable, and very cynical about their government's posturing with regard to the USA.

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