|
I love my dad
|
#
?
Sep 10, 2016 21:50
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 19:12 |
|
|
to earn the love of your father, you must destroy him. - thomas hobbes
|
|
#
?
Sep 10, 2016 21:54
|
|
|
Going through his stuff after he kicked the bucket I found out he was a total sperg about submarines and had pretty much every submarine movie ever made
|
|
#
?
Sep 10, 2016 21:59
|
|
|
he skipped his senior prom to finish a Dungeons and Dragons campaign
|
|
#
?
Sep 10, 2016 22:03
|
|
|
MiracleWhale posted:to earn the love of your father, you must destroy him. - thomas hobbes Oh my god There's millions of them! I've seen a fire start in frisco The day that the earth quaked I've seen buildings a-blazing Throwing up in flames I heard men, women and children Crying out to their god for mercy But their god didn't listen So they were burned alive They went down, down, deep underground In the great disaster I was hanging out in berlin In the year one thousand nine hundred and thirty nine I've seen hitler's storm troopers March right across the maginot line I've seen two world wars I've seen men send rockets out into space I foresee a holocaust An angel of death descending to destroy the human race Down, down, deep undergound A great disaster In the sixteenth century there was a french philosopher By the name of nostradamus Who prophesised that in the late twentieth century An angel of death shall waste this land A holocaust the likes of which This planet had never seen Now, I ask you Do you believe this to be true? I was standing by the bedside The night that my father died He was crying out in pain To his god he said, "have mercy, mercy!" His body was riddled with a disease Unknown to man so he expected no cure But before he died that night He was lost, insane He went down, down, deep underground A great disaster You'll go down, down, deep underground A great disaster I think they've got now!
|
|
#
?
Sep 10, 2016 22:04
|
|
|
"if you squeeze the grapes too hard the wine will go sour" cool secret santa gift i ended up coincidentally getting from my dad
|
|
#
?
Sep 10, 2016 22:06
|
|
|
Your Dead Gay Son posted:My dad is slowly killing himself via alcohol and had his fourth divorce a couple years ago T-Rexcellent posted:My dad likes shemale porn and fat chicks. His current girlfriend is even fatter than my mom. haha same with my dad except also add feet.
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 19:02
|
|
|
Mnemosyne posted:I am an adult, and just figured out who my father is last month. Or, at least I narrowed it down to one of two brothers. I'll know for sure in a few weeks. lol ur dad sucks
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 19:07
|
|
|
Looking through my dad's old year book, I noticed that everyone called him "toad." I found out that this was short for "horny toad." ...yeah
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 19:08
|
|
|
scott zoloft posted:my dad pierced his own dick Why? Was one piss hole not enough for him?
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 19:09
|
|
|
Kitchner posted:Why? Was one piss hole not enough for him? haha i guess not. he clarified after, "it's pretty cool, but you have to sit down to pee". sitting down to pee seems to relax him so I guess it's a good thing.
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 19:31
|
|
|
i sit down to poop
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 19:40
|
|
|
Does my ex's dad count? My ex's dads computer keeps clapping out and it was always an exciting race for me to get to it before my ex and hide the fact its all the bestiality porn he watches that's doing it.
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 19:58
|
|
|
504 posted:Does my ex's dad count? why didnt you let ur ex know his dad liked looking at animal porn?
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 19:59
|
|
|
Nooner posted:i sit down to poop beta imo
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 20:06
|
|
|
one time i asked my dad why they called them buffalo wings and he pointed to his armpit and said there's a part of the chicken there called the buffalo. well the next day at lunch i told my whole fifth grade class this and they all just stared at me like lol wtf. nice own dad
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 20:15
|
|
|
Nooner posted:why didnt you let ur ex know his dad liked looking at animal porn? Guy Code, DUH!! It's probably good that I don't know my dad all that well because every time I learn something about him from when he was my age (late 20's), I'm more and more convinced that, if we randomly met at a party and we were both our 29 year old selves, I would haaaaaaate him.
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 20:29
|
|
|
When my dad was a kid he signed his own yearbooks. Now he throws a fit because A) Democrats and B) the newest Star Wars movie didn't follow plot details from the EU books.
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 20:30
|
|
|
504 posted:Does my ex's dad count? Bestiality porn fucks up computers?? gently caress gently caress fuckfuck.
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 20:50
|
|
|
a bone to pick posted:Bestiality porn fucks up computers?? gently caress gently caress fuckfuck. not only that, but sometimes even a genepool or two.
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 21:13
|
|
|
he ordered nurse porn pay per view right before he died
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 22:50
|
|
|
A Stupid Baby posted:he ordered nurse porn pay per view right before he died died as he lived
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 22:52
|
|
|
When in the military, my father would do small hits of LSD before PT, he says it helped him work out extra hard. I follow in his footsteps by taking a bong rip before cycling, swimming, or working out. He's right, the drugs let you work out extra hard.
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 22:55
|
|
|
try opiates, you won't even feel those ligaments tearing
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 22:56
|
|
|
A Stupid Baby posted:he ordered nurse porn pay per view right before he died I would rather die watching slutty nurses than be saved by the real deal too.
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 22:58
|
|
|
A Stupid Baby posted:he ordered nurse porn pay per view right before he died MiracleWhale posted:died as he lived lol
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 23:13
|
|
|
My dad's a big, fat pothead and he listens to pink Floyd all the time. He also loving HATES refugees. Edit: oh and when I was a kid I found a porn movie in his closet called "Harness Hannah's Strap-On Hoe-Down"
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 23:14
|
|
|
Nooner posted:lol ur dad sucks Very likely. But since he's probably dead, I'll never know for sure. Maybe the other guy is my father though, who knows!
|
|
#
?
Sep 12, 2016 23:42
|
|
|
504 posted:Does my ex's dad count? lol this one deserves its own thread
|
|
#
?
Sep 13, 2016 01:52
|
|
|
Nooner posted:why didnt you let ur ex know his dad liked looking at animal porn? It's in the divorce decree.
|
|
#
?
Sep 13, 2016 02:03
|
|
|
looked exactly like george harrison in college, met jimi hendrix in a dive bar, worked for a motorcycle gang at sturgis a long time ago, secretly loves my cat he pretends to be irritated at  hes a p cool dude
|
|
#
?
Sep 13, 2016 02:53
|
|
|
504 posted:Does my ex's dad count? You know it never occurred to me that now I'm out of the picture shes probably learnt this for herself.
|
|
#
?
Sep 13, 2016 03:36
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 19:12 |
|
|
My parents divorced when I was 5, and my mom let me blame her until my teens when grandma let slip that he had been cheating. Two days after he died, my mom told me that they were wife swapping and he started seeing the other woman outside of the "arrangement". What the gently caress Mom? It's like she'd been waiting decades to get that one out. While cleaning up his place, I found a picture of another neighbour in a bra at a party. So now I'm just assuming the whole neighbourhood was loving. The 70's I guess?? The biggest surprise was finding zero porn on his computer.
|
|
#
?
Sep 13, 2016 14:06
|
|
