Goon Tzu, the Art of Posting

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Goon Tzu, the Art of Posting

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JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

*gong*

# ? Sep 11, 2016 18:48

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 23, 2024 12:39

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

JiveHonky posted:

*gong*

Racist

# ? Sep 11, 2016 18:58

Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

Applewhite posted:

- If the OP effortposts, you must shitpost. If you shitpost, demand effortposts.

- If your argument is racist, feign objectivity. If your opponent is racist, feign outrage.

- There are five topics which cannot fail to become megathreads: 1) feminism 2) fats 3) transsexuals 4) circumcision 5) the proper way to eat food. There is a sixth. It is called gamergate, but it is forbidden.

- If you know the subforum and you know your posting style, you need not fear probation in one hundred threads.

- When the mods are active, test the rules. When the mods are absent, break them.

*nods once extremely slightly*

# ? Sep 11, 2016 21:06

ROFLburger: Jan 12, 2006

-a [krusty] picture is worth a thousand posts

# ? Sep 11, 2016 21:20

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

make sure you say the N word a lot

# ? Sep 11, 2016 21:23

a bone to pick: Sep 14, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

- If you care about anything you're a child because only children care about things

# ? Sep 11, 2016 21:29

Brutal Garcon: Nov 2, 2014

Hogge Wild posted:

*nods once extremely slightly*

Never doubt that some idiot has bought the smilie you require.

# ? Sep 11, 2016 23:10

Stinky_Pete: Aug 16, 2015; Stinkier than your average bear; Lipstick Apathy

# ? Sep 11, 2016 23:55

Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

Dzhay posted:

Never doubt that some idiot has bought the smilie you require.

haha thanks for showing me that

# ? Sep 12, 2016 00:11

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

Celluloid Sam posted:

make sure you say the N word a lot

Nagger?

# ? Sep 12, 2016 02:35

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

-- Goon Tzu said: The art of posting is of vital importance to the Forums.

-- It is a matter of manbabies or shame, a road either to internet fame or to Pele. Hence it is a subject of inquiry which no account can neglect.

-- Accordingly as threads are favorable, one should modify one's shitposts.

-- All trolling is based on deception.

-- Hence, when able to pwn, we must seem unable; when using our tryhard, we must seem inactive; when we employ out image macros, we must make the enemy believe we they took 5 minutes in MS Paint; when using MS Paint, we must emulate the lowest of cares.

-- If he is secure in argument, be ruthless with your words. If he is in superior posts, leave the thread.

FilthyImp fucked around with this message at 05:53 on Sep 12, 2016

# ? Sep 12, 2016 05:49

Friginator: May 13, 2014; by zen death robot

# ? Sep 12, 2016 06:31

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

FilthyImp posted:

-- Goon Tzu said: The art of posting is of vital importance to the Forums.

-- It is a matter of manbabies or shame, a road either to internet fame or to Pele. Hence it is a subject of inquiry which no account can neglect.

-- Accordingly as threads are favorable, one should modify one's shitposts.

-- All trolling is based on deception.

-- Hence, when able to pwn, we must seem unable; when using our tryhard, we must seem inactive; when we employ out image macros, we must make the enemy believe we they took 5 minutes in MS Paint; when using MS Paint, we must emulate the lowest of cares.

-- If he is secure in argument, be ruthless with your words. If he is in superior posts, leave the thread.

# ? Sep 12, 2016 11:22

The Dennis System: Aug 4, 2014; Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.