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gandolf has a humongous clit I always assumed, pokin out from beneath a big grey hood. his pussy is deep, man, like philosophically. literally shallow tho, even a hobbit would hit the cervix
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Sep 16, 2016 00:15
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yes but they are purely ornamental
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Sep 16, 2016 00:16
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Rasmussen posted:Of course he does. Those hobbits aren't gonna gently caress themselves. His thing for hobbit's was always a little suspect. I always assumed his visits to the shire were at least partially motivated by sex tourism. This doesn't necessarily mean he had a dick though, he might have experienced sexual satisfaction on a purely spiritual level or maybe through magic.
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Sep 16, 2016 00:19
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Buy Shadow of Mordor and find out for yourself, op.
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Sep 16, 2016 00:22
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Moon Atari posted:His thing for hobbit's was always a little suspect. I always assumed his visits to the shire were at least partially motivated by sex tourism. This doesn't necessarily mean he had a dick though, he might have experienced sexual satisfaction on a purely spiritual level or maybe through magic. He could probably fit an entire hobbit leg up his rear end.
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Sep 16, 2016 16:34
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see this is why tolkein is inferior to modern, mature adult fantasy. NO ONE gets their cock sucked. I mean, really? What is that?
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Sep 16, 2016 16:40
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I bet he could take several hoobbit dicks at once.
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Sep 16, 2016 17:01
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Hatebag posted:I bet he could take several hoobbit dicks at once. Hobbit dicks, like little people dicks, are full size human scale imo
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Sep 16, 2016 17:18
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Oberleutnant posted:Hobbit dicks, like little people dicks, are full size human scale imo Yeah but gandalf's a nasty old slut
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Sep 16, 2016 17:38
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If he didn't, then why wear a big robe? What was he covering up?
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Sep 16, 2016 17:41
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tolkein described lots of suckfucking but he did it in a cool sly way that shitnerds like most of you can't detect. Like merry and pippin slurping entdraughts from beardo's big honkin pots - sapguzzlin fellatibros
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Sep 16, 2016 18:03
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Gandalf was a Jesus metaphor, and was totally human, except for the parts where he could do magic. But if he did too much magic, he wouldn't get to go back to Heaven (The West) when he was done. All his brothers failed in one way or another and became too attached to and a part of the world by magic-ing everything up. It pretty much says so in one of the appendices or the Silmarillion one of the ten volumes of unpublished world building notes or something.
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Sep 18, 2016 00:29
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Hector Beerlioz posted:He dick so long he can put the tip in his bum Ftfy
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Sep 18, 2016 01:15
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I wonder what color Gandalf's shits are.
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Sep 18, 2016 01:19
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Gatekeeper posted:tolkein described lots of suckfucking but he did it in a cool sly way that shitnerds like most of you can't detect. Like merry and pippin slurping entdraughts from beardo's big honkin pots - sapguzzlin fellatibros pippin wanted gandalf's big rocket but it was too big for him so he had to get merry's help
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Sep 18, 2016 01:19
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Doc Friday posted:Gandalf has two staves. At least 6, casual. 
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Sep 18, 2016 02:17
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pretty sure 5 and 6 are the same staff to any non-autistic person.
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Sep 18, 2016 02:19
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Gandalf was a Jesus metaphor, and was totally human, except for the parts where he could do magic. But if he did too much magic, he wouldn't get to go back to Heaven (The West) when he was done. All his brothers failed in one way or another and became too attached to and a part of the world by magic-ing everything up. It's a drat shame that Jesus's deadbeat brothers have been edited out of the bible.
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Sep 18, 2016 02:27
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a bone to pick posted:pretty sure 5 and 6 are the same staff to any non-autistic person. yeah my dick regularly gets bigger but it's still the same dick obv
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Sep 18, 2016 02:31
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Phone browsing and read thread title as Garfield, happy to be wrong
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Sep 18, 2016 03:05
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