Physics states that observational comedy changes that which you observe

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Physics states that observational comedy changes that which you observe

FactsAreUseless

And that's why airlines don't serve real food anymore.

# ? Nov 15, 2016 19:54

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 19:15

FactsAreUseless

You can know where an electron is or what the deal is but not both at once. Jerry Heisenfeld discovered that.

# ? Nov 15, 2016 19:55

FactsAreUseless

In order to determine whether something is, in fact, totally crazy, we need to repeat the experiment many times. That's why I keep texting my ex-girlfriend.

# ? Nov 15, 2016 20:02

FactsAreUseless

Observation changes the thing observed? No wonder my vagina's been unchanged for decades, right ladies?

# ? Nov 15, 2016 20:03

joke_explainer

In the history of comedy, you have great comedy theoreticians and great applied comedians. Hubble was hilarious, but refused to comment on the source of laughter, while Kepler was more of a behind-the-scenes, writing-for-McSweeneys kind of comedian who dove deeply into those theorems

# ? Nov 15, 2016 20:51

Rockman Reserve: "Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

you are underplaying the significance of this effect on culture, FAU

the hit television program f*r*i*e*n*d*s was a sobering docu-drama with subtle themes of the effects of war and politics on day to day life until they let the studio audience watch during filming

# ? Nov 15, 2016 21:11

joke_explainer

Seinfield: "Yeah, and then you use transit photometry, correlating a decrease in the total output of the star to gain information about what sort of bodies might be orbiting it, but, get this: It could be false positives 40% of the time. Not to mention the false negatives: It only works if the planet transits the star relative to us!" *audience laughs*

# ? Nov 15, 2016 21:12

Senior Management

By the time that you can communicate the location of the airline food, it has already moved. You will have a hard time giving exact coordinates.

:jerry:

# ? Nov 15, 2016 21:14

google THIS

if your atom decays and kills more than three dogs, you simultaneously are and are not a redneck

# ? Nov 15, 2016 21:18

joke_explainer

Beyond the event horizon of a black hole, no humor can escape. The mass making up the singularity itself though can slowly decay through a process called Hawking Radiation. This steady sine wave of electromagnetic radio signal is completely bereft of anything funny, the transmission most resembling NPR's 'The Takeaway' with John Hockenberry.

# ? Nov 15, 2016 21:18

Bacon Taco: Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN

FactsAreUseless posted:

In order to determine whether something is, in fact, totally crazy, we need to repeat the experiment many times. That's why I keep texting my ex-girlfriend.

So drunk texting is a quantum imperative. Please tell me more.

# ? Nov 16, 2016 09:58

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

FactsAreUseless posted:

In order to determine whether something is, in fact, totally crazy, we need to repeat the experiment many times. That's why I keep texting my ex-girlfriend.

# ? Nov 16, 2016 13:51

alnilam

You ever notice how fermions walk like this
*teleports across the stage in discrete intervals*
and bosons, they walk like this
*walks sideways leaving a trail of duplicates of himself, his voice doubling on itself in an increasing cascade of sound*

# ? Nov 16, 2016 14:14

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

alnilam posted:

You ever notice how fermions walk like this
*teleports across the stage in discrete intervals*
and bosons, they walk like this
*walks sideways leaving a trail of duplicates of himself, his voice doubling on itself in an increasing cascade of sound*

# ? Nov 16, 2016 14:19

FactsAreUseless

Haha, but seriously, folks, assuming a spherical boyfriend, am I right?

# ? Nov 16, 2016 16:11

Manifisto

didja ever notice a magnetic monopole??

*audience cracks up*

[in extremely CERN voice]: no really did you notice one

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Nov 16, 2016 16:28

alnilam

you know what they say, men are from 2p, women are from 3s, and if you get close to them you've got to be pretty drat excited am i right fellas?

# ? Nov 16, 2016 16:36

vanisher

But seriously folks, what's up with hot pockets anyway? I am pretty sure they have both a frozen center and a boiling hot one simultaneously until bitten into. Also, why do the ladies always want to share dessert but never want to order any if offered? It's like they both want and do not want to eat chocolate, paradoxical!

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Nov 16, 2016 18:24

alnilam

vanisher posted:

But seriously folks, what's up with hot pockets anyway? I am pretty sure they have both a frozen center and a boiling hot one simultaneously until bitten into.

*comedian advances to the last powerpoint slide*

so as you can see, with transient heating and cooling of a thermal mass it all comes down to the Biot number, and that's why hot pockets are always so drat hot and cold at the same time! *audience laughing like crazy, and also nodding knowingly at each other pleased that they learned something today*

alnilam fucked around with this message at 18:43 on Nov 16, 2016

# ? Nov 16, 2016 18:40

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

FactsAreUseless posted:

You can know where an electron is or what the deal is but not both at once. Jerry Heisenfeld discovered that.

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# ? Nov 16, 2016 22:06

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

google THIS posted:

if your atom decays and kills more than three dogs, you simultaneously are and are not a redneck

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Nov 16, 2016 22:06

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Did you ever notice how we park on a parkway and drive on a driveway? If you'd have noticed at a different time, this joke would have been funny.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Nov 16, 2016 22:09

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Men

am I right and/or wrong, ladies?

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Nov 16, 2016 22:10

FactsAreUseless

Open mic night at the Apollo 13.

# ? Nov 16, 2016 22:12

google THIS

quantum? dang near killed 'em until they were observed!

# ? Nov 16, 2016 22:53

funmanguy: What time is it?

FactsAreUseless posted:

Open mic night at the Apollo 13.

"Houston, we have a PARTY!!!!!!"

# ? Nov 16, 2016 22:58

Nathilus: I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

I hate quantum comedy. When I observe it, it changes. Wtf. How does inanimate comedy "know" its being observed????

# ? Nov 17, 2016 21:09

byob historian: I'm an animal abusing piece of shit! I deliberately poisoned my dog to death and think it's funny! I'm an irredeemable sack of human shit!

my preferred method of vector addition is tip to tail if you know what i mean

# ? Nov 19, 2016 02:10

Bert Roberge

# ? Nov 20, 2016 01:57

social vegan

*showing friend around his garage*: there's my pick up truck, there are my truck nuts, and there's my sign

# ? Nov 21, 2016 17:58

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

We need to know the speed of comedy in a vacuum, but the comedians keep dying and were ask out of grant money

# ? Nov 21, 2016 21:37

myDad: ce n'est pas ma m�re

so what's with the politically correct attitude these days? when I was growing up we used to say retarded relativity. it's not insensitive, it's correct!

sig by vanisher��

# ? Nov 21, 2016 21:45

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Once we detect the Hilarious Ether, all comedy will be solved

# ? Nov 21, 2016 22:40

Urodov

by the principle of the Relativity of Hilarity, events which are hilarious in some reference frames are not hilarious in others

this is why various observers are unable to account for each other's laughter without calculating the Audienz Transformation

�� , ��спасибо, Слагнойд-кун!
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 05:55

Urodov

to the amusement of his contemporaries, Albert Einstein once received a prank call from himself by means of tachyonic antitelephone and proceeded to take revenge upon himself by carrying out that selfsame prank call

�� , ��спасибо, Слагнойд-кун!
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 06:02

Ace of Baes

Marc Maron going on a 19 minute self deprecating rant about Schroedingers Cat.

# ? Nov 22, 2016 07:15

social vegan

i wasn't glad that you didn't say banana

# ? Nov 22, 2016 12:37

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 19:15

social vegan

*doesn't understand thread, types 58008 on calculator and excitedly waits*

# ? Nov 22, 2016 12:38

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Physics states that observational comedy changes that which you observe