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Have I got a scoop for you! My co-worker started snickering when I asked about how tasty his Fiskbullar was and I did not like it one bit when he told me why! |
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Nov 16, 2016 19:26
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*click* Good afternoon, Mansplaining Hotline, my name is Thomas. How can I direct your call today? I uh... my husband was telling me how, ah, how the vacuum cleaner works today. Mm-hmm. And he's never vacuumed. Ah, I see. It's just... yeah. You know? Well, sweetie. Can I call you sweetie? I'd prefer-- Sweetheart, listen. Listen. What you do is, you pour yourself a glass of something nice. What do you like? Wine? Red wine? I - I'm sorry, I thought this was-- Mansplaining Hotline, hon, I'm trying to help you out here. Listen, get a glass of wine, put your feet up for a bit. Okay? Your husband, what's his name? Um. Bill. It's uh-- Bill, right. Right. Hon, Bill's just trying to help out. You understand that, right? I don't think-- I mean, listen, sweetie, your husband's at work all day, what's he do, he an engineer? He's in sales, but I don't see how that-- Sales, awesome, great job, my dad was in sales. Great job. And you stay home, right? How many kids? I'm a dentist, you little-- Haha, that's great hon, that's fantastic. Hey, listen, babe? Babe, I've gotta go, I'm getting a text from this ka-razy chick named Megan, you would not believe what - but hey, you're a married gal, you've been around, right? What? Anyway, thanks for calling the Mansplaining Hotline. Glad I could help. You stay chill, sugar tits. I'm audi 5000. *click* |
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Nov 16, 2016 19:42
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FactsAreUseless posted:*click* Good afternoon, Mansplaining Hotline, my name is Thomas. How can I direct your call today? |
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Nov 16, 2016 19:44
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got a lengthy spiel about the us electoral college and all I could think to say was, "sir, this is the ikea food court"
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Nov 16, 2016 19:45
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FactsAreUseless posted:*click* Good afternoon, Mansplaining Hotline, my name is Thomas. How can I direct your call today? |
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Nov 16, 2016 19:57
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FactsAreUseless posted:*click* Good afternoon, Mansplaining Hotline, my name is Thomas. How can I direct your call today? |
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Nov 16, 2016 20:07
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i've read it half a dozen times now and it makes me laugh every time |
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Nov 16, 2016 20:31
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Nov 16, 2016 21:15
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*click* Good afternoon, Mansplaining - sir. Sir, I've told you several times already. Mansplaining. This is not Men's Planes, The Planes For Men. We cannot help you. I'm sorry. If you want to ride in a plane by men, for men, a fully curated mansperience in the skies, you want Men's Planes. |
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Nov 16, 2016 21:43
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FactsAreUseless posted:*click* Good afternoon, Mansplaining Hotline, my name is Thomas. How can I direct your call today? |
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Nov 17, 2016 01:51
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Mansplaining quarterly, the premier trade publication for mainsplain call centers had a great tip this issue on using a lil voice modulator to pretend youre a lady so you can mansplain with impunity its more for recreational mansplaining and not super helpful for work but a job like this is one you don't really mind takin home withyou |
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Nov 17, 2016 01:52
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A man with serious wax burns has called ten times in the last hour. Common mistake, but come on. Read a little. |
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Nov 17, 2016 01:53
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Whoops, sorry, meant to call the manspreading hotline. *click*
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Nov 17, 2016 02:43
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FactsAreUseless posted:*click* Good afternoon, Mansplaining Hotline, my name is Thomas. How can I direct your call today?
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Nov 17, 2016 06:51
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i have this can of something, can you help me find out what it is? there's no label anywhere and no markings
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Nov 17, 2016 06:53
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I was very disappointed when I called the manslamming hotline. The rude woman on the other end had absolutely no information on proper techniques to injure a male with body slam and other throw maneuvers. |
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Nov 17, 2016 11:28
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Zyla posted:i have this can of something, can you help me find out what it is? there's no label anywhere and no markings Wow I can't believe you took the label off the can, that's how you know what's in there! Ok let's try a different approach: where'd you find it? ---------------- |
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Nov 17, 2016 11:34
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Alright look we're not getting anywhere with this, why don't you just open the thing up and you can store the contents in one of your Tupperwares or something. And next time just remember don't take the labels off your cans. That's just like... basic stuff.
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Nov 17, 2016 11:37
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Zyla posted:i have this can of something, can you help me find out what it is? there's no label anywhere and no markings I'm sorry sir, this is 800-626-7752. I believe you meant to dial 800-226-7752. it's a common mistake, don't worry about it. |
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Nov 17, 2016 15:02
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Manifisto posted:I'm sorry sir, this is 800-626-7752. I believe you meant to dial 800-226-7752. it's a common mistake, don't worry about it. |
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Nov 17, 2016 15:14
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Manifisto posted:I'm sorry sir, this is 800-626-7752. I believe you meant to dial 800-226-7752. it's a common mistake, don't worry about it. ---------------- |
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Nov 17, 2016 17:07
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Is this the manspraining hotline? I sprained my ankle and I need a cover story asap |
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Nov 17, 2016 20:51
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Lady: I'm calling in to report an egregious violation of manspreading Hotline: Well ACTUALLY this is a mansplaining hotline. 
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Nov 17, 2016 21:16
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After a day of meticulously grooming himself he realized she hadn't complained about manscaping |
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Nov 17, 2016 21:18
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You want to know what the mansplaining hotline is all about? Check out our manifesto. Do you need help navigating to the right person when calling in? Please brose our manual |
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Nov 17, 2016 21:19
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eonwe posted:Lady: I'm calling in to report an egregious violation of manspreading lol
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Nov 18, 2016 12:13
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Every time I call they cant help me. I don't think they know what they are doing, they are just reading off of a manuscript. |
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Nov 18, 2016 18:04
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Machai posted:Every time I call they cant help me. I don't think they know what they are doing, they are just reading off of a manuscript. |
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Nov 18, 2016 18:12
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i thought the thread and article said 'mansplaining hottie' and something about a swedish mansplaining hottie and i was just imagining a hot swedish guy being condescending |
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Nov 18, 2016 19:40
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Old Timey Frontiersman: The names manse, manse plaining, and I can take you to an unclaimed little oasis that's the best kept secret this side of the Mississippi. Cowgirl: Sounds too good to be true old man, what's the catch? Old Timey Frontiersman: The treasure is vast, wealth beyond your imagination, piles of doubloons as big as a barn, but the ancient ruins aren't as they seem, a dark secret has been lurking in the shadows since before man rode horses or built cities. Cowgirl: Wait what, I thought you said it was an oasis, what are you even- Old Timey Frontiersman: You must travel into the hollow forrest, and seek out the wise old witch, she will show you to the caverns of G'thoth, but be wary, many travelers have descended into the labyrinth, never to be seen again, some say the cave itself is a kind of door to the underworld, and that the devil himself uses it when he wishes to visit the earth. Cowgirl: That sounds terrible, I'm just gonna invest in railroad bonds and be frugal with my spending. Old Timey Frontiersman: Actually, railroad bonds are a poor investment, you should diversify your portfolio and invest in precious metals and cattle, in fact, here, do you have a pen and paper? I can write it out for you so you don't get confused. First things first, how many slaves do you own? |
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Nov 18, 2016 21:51
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FactsAreUseless posted:*click* Good afternoon, Mansplaining Hotline, my name is Thomas. How can I direct your call today?
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Nov 19, 2016 09:30
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I called the mansplosion hotline and was asssaulted with cliché ideas of manliness
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Nov 19, 2016 17:59
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Magres posted:i thought the thread and article said 'mansplaining hottie' and something about a swedish mansplaining hottie and i was just imagining a hot swedish guy being condescending now iffen yer gonta putinde ikkya furnishur togedder ye gonta hefta lurnde yoozda toors. hummer, yep. scooderber, yep. bork bork bork |
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Nov 19, 2016 18:06
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How dare my man professor mansplain all these physics things to me! This was a cooking course.
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Nov 19, 2016 18:28
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Operator: This is Big Boner Bob, how can I help you today? Caller: Um, excuse me? Could you rep-- Operator: Yeah that's right, I'm Big Boner Bob, with the answer to all your problems! Caller: I need your operator id right now!! Operator: Sure baby, it's 42069 Caller: 42069? Seri-- Operator: Wanna smoke some 420 and 69?  *click* |
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Nov 20, 2016 01:02
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Hi, welcome to mansplain. Boner. That is all.
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Nov 20, 2016 01:04
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Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!
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OK Toots, here's the deal. We have this Automated Attendant thing on our phone system, but don't push any buttons yet. You see, sometimes when the situation here changes, our menu options have to reflect that, so keep those mitts of yours off the phone until I'm done telling you about which button does what or else you're just going to cause more problems than you have already.
Robot Made of Meat fucked around with this message at 04:20 on Nov 20, 2016
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Nov 20, 2016 03:53
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Robot Made of Meat posted:OK Toots, here's the deal. We have this Automated Attendant thing on our phone system, but don't push any buttons yet. You see, sometimes when the situation here changes, our menu options have to reflect that, so keep those mitts of yours off the phone until I'm done telling you about which button does what or else you're just going to cause more problems than you have already. Listen toots, you've already caused too many problems by dialing the Mansplain hotline as it is. Let the bread-winner do the dialing. Speaking of bread, go ahead and make yourself useful by making me a toots sandwich, hold the bread.
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Nov 20, 2016 04:25
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 12:01 |
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I always give out the mansplaining hotline number when people ask for my number.
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Nov 20, 2016 10:48
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