before i die

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tao of lmao

I'm going to send friends sealed letters with instructions to not open until after my death. Inside will be a coded message and a key. My friends are gonna think they'll have a National Treasure adventure, but here's the thing: they won't. It's all fake. None of it means anything.

# ? Nov 30, 2016 02:02

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 13:28

tao of lmao

Me, inside a coffin: :evilbuddy:

# ? Nov 30, 2016 02:02

tao of lmao

Domino's employee: Hi thank you for calling domino's. Is this going to be delivery or a pick up.

Me, while having heart attack: D...delivery....100...large...pizzas to *neighbor's address that I didn't like*

# ? Nov 30, 2016 02:06

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

"huh.. the note just has a url? looks like its just someones post history... "

# ? Nov 30, 2016 02:43

vanisher

On my deathbed I will pull my eldest child in close, whispering with my last breaths my final wish, for them to continue my legacy. I gently place my something awful account login information into their outstretched trembling hands. A single tear will fall and they will nod grimly.

(banned for account sharing)

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Nov 30, 2016 04:00

myDad: ce n'est pas ma m�re

before I die I'm gonna take a deep breath

sig by vanisher��

# ? Nov 30, 2016 04:02

social vegan

i'm gonna crawl out of the pool and die during a game of marco polo

# ? Nov 30, 2016 04:04

vanisher

social vegan posted:

i'm gonna crawl out of the pool and die during a game of marco polo

The deadliest game.

I think that's how marco polo died. Thats why they call it marco polo

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Nov 30, 2016 04:07

FutonForensic

I'm pulling a Citizen Kane and whispering a cryptic message on my deathbed, though in my case it'll be "Pokemon... Yellow"

# ? Nov 30, 2016 05:57

Chard

With my dying breath I utter the final key to the Anti Weed Equation

# ? Nov 30, 2016 06:39

Plebian Parasite

I'm not planning to die, I just don't see the appeal.

# ? Nov 30, 2016 06:53

joke_explainer

Chard posted:

With my dying breath I utter the final key to the Anti Weed Equation

this made me imagine Interstellar, but instead of an environmental disaster, it's that the entire earth is growing and smoking too much weed, and all the crops are weed instead of corn. and on your death bed you tell your prot�g� you made it all up and the anti-weed equation was never going to work

# ? Nov 30, 2016 08:47

social vegan

FutonForensic posted:

I'm pulling a Citizen Kane and whispering a cryptic message on my deathbed, though in my case it'll be "Pokemon... Yellow"

kid in the back: ...I-I get it! There must be a message for us with the names of the pokemon party

*two hours later*

kid in the back now on the gameboy in the middle of a hushed circle of relatives: DONG DONG2 DONG3 DONG69 DONG420 WEINER?

# ? Nov 30, 2016 13:07

Uxzuigal: Chill Berserker Dude

Card with written message: "I'll be back" and Terminator theme song.

<3 <3 Vanisher

# ? Nov 30, 2016 14:16

Robot Made of Meat

Before I die, I'd like to live.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Nov 30, 2016 17:10

Macnult

Robot Made of Meat posted:

Before I die, I'd like to live.

# ? Nov 30, 2016 17:26

tao of lmao

Robot Made of Meat posted:

Before I die, I'd like to live.

Wow what a troll....

# ? Nov 30, 2016 17:28

FutonForensic

request that a photo of my ashes be uploaded to a porn tumblr so i can rest surrounded by thousands of butts and boobs

ashes to asses, dust to busts

# ? Nov 30, 2016 20:00

social vegan

FutonForensic posted:

request that a photo of my ashes be uploaded to a porn tumblr so i can rest surrounded by thousands of butts and boobs

ashes to asses, dust to busts

*adds sonic the hedgehog tag before hitting upload*

# ? Nov 30, 2016 20:03

FutonForensic

no no NO NOOOOO^OOO^{^OOO}^{^{^OOO}}

i imagine that's what i'll sound like as i get uploaded to virtual fox-loving limbo forever

# ? Nov 30, 2016 20:06

Farecoal: There he go

i want my sonic oc carved on my gravestone thanks

# ? Nov 30, 2016 21:20

myDad: ce n'est pas ma m�re

FutonForensic posted:

ashes to asses, dust to busts

sig by vanisher��

# ? Dec 1, 2016 00:43

big black turnout

FutonForensic posted:

ashes to asses, dust to busts

# ? Dec 1, 2016 01:19

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

I want my ashes to be used in a recreation of 2 girls one cup.

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# ? Dec 1, 2016 04:12

Twerkteam Pizza

Just before I die I'm going to swallow fools gold that way when grave robbers come to my grave they'll be tricked, haha!

# ? Dec 1, 2016 05:00

Piso Mojado

After I die, I hope people post my irl photo in threads and tell them that they've been visited by piso ghost.

# ? Dec 1, 2016 06:23

bean mom

Plebian Parasite posted:

I'm not planning to die, I just don't see the appeal.

dying's a sucker's game

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Dec 1, 2016 10:39

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

As my final wish.. I want my skull put into somebody else's head

# ? Dec 1, 2016 10:43

Senior Management

After I die I wish to be scattered to the wind in whatever location is deemed funniest. Play it by ear. Cremation optional.

But before I die, I just want to finish my quest for the ultimate sandwich. I have been known to make some power sandwiches in my day. But I want to reach the top of sandwich mountain.

:jerry:

# ? Dec 1, 2016 10:45

social vegan

ya and i just want the undertaker to chokeslam me into the hole in the ground and win the championship belt

# ? Dec 1, 2016 13:06

tao of lmao

social vegan posted:

ya and i just want the undertaker to chokeslam me into the hole in the ground and win the championship belt

oh hell yeah

# ? Dec 1, 2016 19:40

Anoia: "Sooner or later, every curse is a prayer."

I'm transferring my consciousness to a toaster

I'll burn all the toast out of spite

# ? Dec 2, 2016 15:35

MrWillsauce

before I die I plan to stop and smell the roses and live in the moment for once

I wonder when I'll get around to that

# ? Dec 2, 2016 15:42

Rushi: by Smythe

when i know there are only moments left i'm gonna gift all my friends unplayable bad games on steam

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Dec 3, 2016 16:52

A Great Big Bee!

my tombstone will read "buried with his greatest treasure". inside my coffin will be my steam username and password

# ? Dec 4, 2016 00:02

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 13:28

Farecoal: There he go

same but anime collection

# ? Dec 4, 2016 00:05

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