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Much of this post adapted from the original, ancient thread by Someone Awful. Come back, Someone! TLDR: This is an awesomely chaotic game that's surprisingly deep. Come play a game, accept that poo poo won't make sense at first, ignore the lame jokes, and get to murdering. Board Game Online! It's like a board game, but online! Also, there's not really a board. Roll dice, murder your fellow goons, and catch STDs -- but in a game this time. Play it here! BGO's easy to play. Every turn you roll the dice and go through a random event, ranging from trivia questions to exploring a cursed pyramid -- and the outcome might affect you, your opponents, or everyone in the game! There are also classes, abilities and tons of items, all of which can be used in events or during other players' turns to gently caress people over in your pursuit of the finish line. It's like Sorry! crossed with Munchkin or something, and looks kind of chaotic until you get the hang of it. Just jump in and click things and kill yourself a lot, that's all I do and I actually sort of know what I'm doing. The first person to the finish line wins. A lot of this game's "humor" relies on ancient memes and dumb sex jokes, but if you can get over the fact someone apparently still thinks Rickrolling is funny in TYOOL 2016(!), there's a pretty fun game underneath with more depth than you'd expect from a silly HTML5 web game. (Accordingly, the pubbies in this game are really, really horrible. Thankfully you can make private games and never have to acknowledge them.) ... oh yeah, and there's a jukebox, featuring thousands of songs (real songs! ...and also awful brony anime songs.), pulled from YouTube, to choose from. Every new turn after the song ends, someone gets to choose a random song to play. Don't ever expect to hear good music on this. It's there, but we probably won't pick it because we hate each other and ourselves. You can also suggest your own awful poo poo to the Jukebox, assuming it gets through the rigorous user review. So how do I play this stupid crap? Well, first, you should probably register an account. You don't have to, but it takes like 30 seconds and some goons are assholes and kick guests (why? I don't know).  Every turn, you roll two dice (usually). Sometimes you'll get a roll streak, which is mostly random chance. Then an event of some sort happens, you do poo poo in the event, and then your turn ends. Repeat ad nauseam. Events can be all sorts of things -- visiting a shop to buy items, exploring dark caves or overgrown jungles are some options, or you might just fart and head back a couple spaces from embarrassment. There are tons of events and you never know what you're gonna get. Sometimes you might use items to queue up a specific event for your next turn: a Wildcard: Shops, for example, will send you to a specific shop of your choice when you use it, or a Gun will let you choose to take a shot at somebody. But generally that's how gameplay flows. There are approximately 90 million items obtainable, and most have multiple uses; read the tooltips carefully for a description of each one. There's also a rudimentary crafting system, where some items can combine -- either to create different, more powerful items, or with things like Magic Wands and Crystals, to charge them with a semi-random spell. This page has a list of every single item and skill but that's a hell of a lot to swallow so don't really worry about it. Some items can be used during events; this used to be mysterious, but now, if an item is usable it will generally pop up in-panel as an option. (Also you can use Hypno Glasses to immediately take control of a player's next action; you must use them during the exact screen you want to control, and then make the choice for them as if it were your own turn. Just doing a callout about them here since newbies tend to get confused.) You'll get the chance to choose one or more classes. Each class has certain special powers. I could describe them for you, but it's all on the BGO site and this post is too long anyway. Just try stuff and you'll get the hang of it. On occasion, you will die. That's okay! Everybody does sometimes, it's just how BGO works. Death lasts for 3 turns, generally, during which time you can't do anything and it's super boring and lame. But then you'll get back up and be alive again, ready to roll dice and do dumb poo poo some more (or get immediately re-killed, either/or). Ethereal Gloves will let you use items while dead, so keep an eye out for those; there are a few other items that you can use while dead, too. Occasionally while dead you may Reincarnate as an animal; this is moderately less boring as you can roll one die, but you are vulnerable to getting murdered again and cannot use items. Try and make choices appropriate for whatever you reincarnated as to earn Karma; at 4 Karma, you'll reincarnate again and be alive as normal. There's also the secret super rare Flying Spaghetti Monster afterlife, where you can roll like normal and party hard with the FSM. The game ends when somebody crosses the finish line (in Classic Mode) or when the set number of rounds ends (in Sprint Mode). It's really variable how long any game will last: with only 4 players a 300-space game might take a half hour, or with a full 16 a 150-space game might take over an hour and a half. Of course, someone also might just get the Pharaoh's Treasure out of the Pyramid and win the game instantly on the second turn. It's really hard to say. So don't ragequit just because you've fallen behind early, or have spent the last ten rounds dead! It's not only lame as gently caress but there's an absurdly high potential for comebacks, due to the massively random nature of the game. How to make a game We strongly recommend you use the following settings for maximum fun: Timer: 25 seconds Starting rupees: 25 Classes: either 3 classes or all classes Reinforcements: 1st round Disarm: up to you, 1-2 rounds nukes some of the early game chaos Wild Card: every 10 rounds Instant Classes Expert Mode Early Reinforcements  If you leave the game public, expect terrible pubbies to join! You may or may not care about this! 150 spaces is a quick game. 200ish is average. Anything over 300 is pretty drat long. Some crazy people have been known to do 10,000 space games which take around 8 hours. Once you have your game link, post it here along with the number of spaces. When your game ends, cross out your post with [s] tags so people know it's started. Feel free to use this thread for highlights and stuff. Good luck, have fun, expect to win, and don't be afraid! zakharov fucked around with this message at 00:01 on Dec 11, 2016 |
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Dec 10, 2016 23:53
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Tater Love 
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Oh, gosh, Jake, you are a saint! Thank you for finally doing what Someone wouldn't and making a new thread!
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Dec 10, 2016 23:58
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 CLICK HERE TO JOIN zakharov fucked around with this message at 00:26 on Dec 11, 2016 |
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Dec 11, 2016 00:03
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Get in that game, ya jerks!
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Dec 11, 2016 00:12
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I second or third or whatever getting in that game, come hear about my cat
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Dec 11, 2016 00:25
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My browser is super frozen 
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Dec 11, 2016 00:35
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thexerox123 posted:My browser is super frozen DANGIT NEIL
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Dec 11, 2016 00:35
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https://s2.boardgame-online.com/g/game.php?g=lOd5&k=BOE zakharov fucked around with this message at 01:39 on Dec 11, 2016 |
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Dec 11, 2016 01:27
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300 spaces for handsome, sexy goons! (Like Jake, and Tendai, and YOU!) Kristopher fucked around with this message at 02:46 on Dec 11, 2016 |
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Dec 11, 2016 02:30
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GoonGuest come back, we're nice people
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Dec 11, 2016 02:36
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oi fuckers get in here Tendai fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Dec 12, 2016 |
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Dec 12, 2016 00:40
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We've got 3, someone else join!
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Dec 12, 2016 00:44
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Remember: no matter how bad the song, if you mute the Jukebox, you're scum
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Dec 12, 2016 03:07
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Archenteron posted:Remember: no matter how bad the song, if you mute the Jukebox, you're scum This is an important thing to remember. Only people with no self respect mute the jukebox. Kristopher fucked around with this message at 03:31 on Dec 12, 2016 |
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Dec 12, 2016 03:11
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that game get in it Tendai fucked around with this message at 03:53 on Dec 12, 2016 |
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Dec 12, 2016 03:18
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NEW GAME NEW GAME GET IN NEWBIES WE NEED AND LOVE YOU zakharov fucked around with this message at 03:57 on Dec 12, 2016 |
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Dec 12, 2016 03:53
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I heard Jake ruined everything confirm/deny
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Dec 12, 2016 03:56
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Sorry for disappearing from that first game, my internet just flat out stopped working for several hours. Probably that snow I was complaining about messing up the infrastructure somewhere.
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Dec 12, 2016 05:49
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I mute to save my internet quota.
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Dec 12, 2016 11:36
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https://www.boardgame-online.com?page=joingame&g=lONd&k=riF  Tendai fucked around with this message at 04:25 on Dec 13, 2016 |
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Dec 13, 2016 04:15
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200 spaces! Get in, newbies! https://s2.boardgame-online.com/g/game.php?g=lOYO&k=ihU
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Dec 14, 2016 02:09
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That was a fun round that just happened.
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Dec 15, 2016 04:35
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come play at the crabshack Tendai fucked around with this message at 03:06 on Dec 16, 2016 |
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Dec 16, 2016 02:56
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I made a game. It has pubbies in. Kristopher fucked around with this message at 22:30 on Dec 31, 2016 |
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Dec 31, 2016 22:22
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I'll say it again but I'm shocked this is still a thing
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Jan 16, 2017 03:03
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BGO Game of playing, make to be joining! https://s2.boardgame-online.com/g/game.php?g=lZfW&k=E3r
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Jan 21, 2017 22:53
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Hey we need a few more players!!
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Jan 21, 2017 23:01
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There's no tendai in that game, come to this better game better game now closed Tendai fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Jan 21, 2017 |
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Jan 21, 2017 23:39
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Bouncing Back! (Jake Join!) Kristopher fucked around with this message at 03:38 on Feb 12, 2017 |
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Feb 12, 2017 03:08
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Tendai Game: https://www.boardgame-online.com?page=joingame&g=mgMS&k=hFn
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Apr 1, 2017 21:55
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BGO? Who would make a game of that?! https://www.boardgame-online.com?page=joingame&g=mjV9&k=E5v
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Apr 16, 2017 00:18
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Wait for me if that game is still open, I'll be like 5 minutes Edit: Oops there's the timestamp. Cross out your games dick
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Apr 16, 2017 02:06
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srsly
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Apr 18, 2017 20:01
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gently caress's Sake, actually join this game, plz! Play BGO, you fucks! Only Spretz cares! Kristopher fucked around with this message at 20:09 on Apr 22, 2017 |
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Apr 22, 2017 20:02
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I care, I just have bad timing. Is the steam group still active? I never see notices anymore
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May 7, 2017 02:25
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Tendai posted:I care, I just have bad timing. Is the steam group still active? I never see notices anymore https://s2.boardgame-online.com/g/game.php?g=moTP&k=oHY zakharov fucked around with this message at 02:44 on May 7, 2017 |
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May 7, 2017 02:35
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