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Ugh fine. Party pooper. [b]3. Tight rope walk on [Barbed Wire] for [99] metres between two [69] metre tall [Inflatable Love Dolls]... [+25 Danger] A B. And the cable is electrified every [DOUBLE DIGIT] seconds! [+30 Danger] C. Within [666] seconds or he’s shot by a firing squad! [+30 Danger][/+30] 85 Danger
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Jan 12, 2017 18:59
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 02:18 |
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1. Be fired out of a cannon... [+30 Danger] A. Through [A DOZEN] panes of [GIGANTIC BISQUICK INSTANT PANCAKES] [+20 Danger] B. Through a waterfall of [HOT MRS. BUTTERWORTH SYRUP]! [+20 Danger] D. While chained up with [JIMMY DEAN SAUSAGE LINKS]! [+15 Danger] 85 Danger and a balanced sponsorship breakfast.
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Jan 12, 2017 23:26
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1. Be fired out of a cannon... [+30 Danger] A. Through [11] panes of [SOFT, DOWNY FEATHERS] [+20 Danger] B. Through a waterfall of [PROTECTIVE FOAM]! [+20 Danger] C. Through a gauntlet of [COMFY BLADES OF WILTED GRASS]! [+20 Danger] D. While chained up with [A PROTECTIVE SAFETY HARNESS]! [+15 Danger]
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Jan 12, 2017 23:48
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AJ_Impy posted:1. Be fired out of a cannon... [+30 Danger] 105 danger. Wow. let's do this 
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Jan 12, 2017 23:53
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1. Be fired out of a cannon... [+30 Danger] A. Through [20] panes of [KWIK-CURE brand Band-aids.] [+20 Danger] B. Through a waterfall of [Super-viscous non-sticky oxygen-rich taffy!] [+20 Danger] C. Through a gauntlet of [commemorative Malvolio Ties]! [+20 Danger] D. While chained up with [A PROTECTIVE SAFETY HARNESS]! [+15 Danger]
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Jan 12, 2017 23:58
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I was gonna hit 100 danger but I couldn't think of brand-name bacon!
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Jan 13, 2017 00:06
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Wildcard entry: Tightrope walk up a mountainside zipline, with a passenger coming down every so often. Then, should he make it to the top, the Spiked Slalom is deployed for Malvolio to swing through as he rides the zipline back down.
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Jan 13, 2017 03:05
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AJ_Impy posted:1. Be fired out of a cannon... [+30 Danger] It is not quite as good as the sloth plan SO CRUELLY DENIED US, but it will have to do.
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Jan 13, 2017 14:29
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AJ_Impy posted:1. Be fired out of a cannon... [+30 Danger]
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Jan 13, 2017 14:55
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AJ_Impy posted:1. Be fired out of a cannon... [+30 Danger] This please
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Jan 13, 2017 14:56
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Swedish Thaumocracy posted:1. Be fired out of a cannon... [+30 Danger] Voting this for superior imagery.
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Jan 14, 2017 14:48
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 They’re wheeling down a great cannon, now. His plan is ludicrous, but have the other stunts been any less so? He’s set them up and knocked them down, one by one! Bring on the cannon! He intends to be fired through 20 panes of soft, downy feathers (compressed into a sheet, I presume?), through a waterfall of protective foam (a foamfall, rather than a waterfall, in truth!), through a gauntlet of commemorative Malvolio ties (sharpened and deadly, a reflection of the commercialization of his stunts?) - and all this while bound in a protective safety harness (what a farce: at the speed he’ll be travelling, they may as well be chains - they certainly won’t make his landing any softer if he doesn’t escape in time!) If - and only if - he escapes from his bindings, he can then pull his parachute and sail gracefully to the ground. If not, well…  Not for the first time, I feel a pang of pride watching him up there, bowing and mugging for the audience. Oh, not because I lay any sort of familial claim to him - I should be so lucky! - but rather the common pride of mankind. What a joy to share a world, to share a species, with such a man! Good luck, Malvolio, though you won’t need it. I believe in you! The fuse is lit, the drumbeats reach a thrilling crescendo and…  He’s off! 1d100+3 vs 105 =  83  The next twenty minutes pass in a daze, a hazing of weeping, screaming fans and the sound of sirens. I push past a fleeing crowd as through molasses, unwilling to turn away from him now, in his hour of need. They’ve brought excavators out now, and lighting rigs, to try and extricate him from his grav- no, I musn’t think that way. Pull through, Malvolio, pull through.    I spot his motion and I cheer, tears running down my face, and soon everyone is cheering for him, clapping for this man who risked his life for our entertainment! You’re not a failure, Malvolio, you’ve given your all for us! You’ve earned your rest, so take your time to recoup! The world will wait for your return! And in the meantime, they’ll have someone new to thrill them. You’ve inspired me since childhood, Malvolio, and soon it will be time to throw my hat into the ring. The world does not know me yet, but they will! They will call me:  THE END!? (It is indeed the end for now! I intend to do a follow up at some point down the line, but ideally when I’m a little less busy with work and three other CYOAs! This was always intended to be short (hell, I’m surprised we got as far as we did!) but it took quite a bit longer than expected between updates. Thanks for sticking around with me and especially thanks for your incredibly ridiculous stunts! Malvolio wouldn’t have been as Great without you!)
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Jan 19, 2017 03:51
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Hahaha, amazing. What a show gentlemen, what a show! I look forward to the acrobatics of THE GREAT SANTONI!
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Jan 19, 2017 04:02
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He broke his everything, but he lives  Magnifico.
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Jan 19, 2017 04:22
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 02:18 |
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Best art of any CYOA yet, bravo.
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Jan 19, 2017 07:41
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