- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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I like to play monopoly with my good friend Tom Brady. He's really good and pretty much always wins. Sometimes i just seem to get lost in the game and I'll look up and he's got the entire stack of $500 dollar bills in front of him. I honestly can't remember if he's landed on free parking that many times or if I just had a memory lapse of him getting all that money. He's just that good at monopoly i guess.
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Feb 4, 2017 17:43
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 24, 2024 11:13
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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Every once in a while, when Tom has time, we play Dungeons and Dragons. Tom is really good at Dungeons and Dragons. He rolls natural 20s all the time, it's just crazy. Sometimes i forget about a magic item he has. Like last week he just whips out a scroll or resurrection, really saved the parties rear end with that one. I can't remember ever giving one of those to him but honestly I think it speaks more about me being a careless DM.
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Feb 4, 2017 17:46
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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Sometimes Tom and I like to have foot races. We'll pick a route through the city thats kind of challenging. Last time we raced I took off sprinting, really thought I was gonna win this time. Tom is such a good racer though. He's somehow so fast that he had time to pass me without me realizing it and then get onto a train so he could hop out and surprise me at the finish line.
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Feb 4, 2017 17:51
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- byob historian
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I'm an animal abusing piece of shit! I deliberately poisoned my dog to death and think it's funny! I'm an irredeemable sack of human shit!
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your friend tom sounds good at not giving a hoot about the rules
does he play punk rock
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Feb 4, 2017 18:27
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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your friend tom sounds good at not giving a hoot about the rules
does he play punk rock
What? Tom is a stand up guy, he goes strictly by the book. I'm not sure if he plays punk rock but I'll ask him next week when we meet up to play poker. Tom is a really good poker player. Always seems to have the right card at the right time.
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Feb 4, 2017 18:42
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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Sometimes when Tom comes over we don't play a game, we watch a movie. Last time there were five of us and we couldn't agree on a movie to watch so we voted by writing our choice on little pieces of paper and putting them into a hat. Its a really fair way of doing it so no one gets their felling hurt. Tom was so happy that his movie got picked by a vote of 20-4. The movie wasn't that great but hey he won fair and square.
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Feb 4, 2017 19:04
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- Macnult
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Sometimes Tom and I like to have foot races. We'll pick a route through the city thats kind of challenging. Last time we raced I took off sprinting, really thought I was gonna win this time. Tom is such a good racer though. He's somehow so fast that he had time to pass me without me realizing it and then get onto a train so he could hop out and surprise me at the finish line.
lol
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Feb 4, 2017 23:52
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- Macnult
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Tom Brady and I like to play Super Smash Brothers together. He's a lot better than me at it, to the point where he lets me use the good controller. "That one is the best," he tells me, "the controller I'm using is pretty beat up and some of the buttons stick, but since I own the game it'll make things more fair."
It does, too. Even though my character randomly sprints to the left at times, I know I wouldn't stand a chance if I used Tom's controller.
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Feb 5, 2017 00:06
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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Tom Brady and I like to play Super Smash Brothers together. He's a lot better than me at it, to the point where he lets me use the good controller. "That one is the best," he tells me, "the controller I'm using is pretty beat up and some of the buttons stick, but since I own the game it'll make things more fair."
It does, too. Even though my character randomly sprints to the left at times, I know I wouldn't stand a chance if I used Tom's controller.
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Feb 5, 2017 00:07
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- deep dish peat moss
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I hoped this thread was about Tom, from Myspace. I was hoping to get some news on my friend Tom. I haven't seen him since we were kids.
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Feb 5, 2017 03:05
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- deep dish peat moss
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Ground control to Brady, Tom.
Ground control to Brady, Tom.
Take your protein pills and put your helmet on.
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Feb 5, 2017 03:06
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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This is Belichick to Brady, Tom...
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Feb 5, 2017 03:07
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- Dads Dip Cup
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Diddle diddle dumpling, my friend Tom.
Plays guitar with his mittens on.
Amp turned off, and no clothes on.
Diddle diddle dumpling, my friend Tom.
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Feb 5, 2017 14:56
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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Tom and I like to get the crossword from the Boston Globe and race to see who can finish it first. Tom is so good that he doesn't seem to be bothered that he gets a ton of texts while we do it and he still manages to beat me every time. That's some incredible multitasking. Last time I got curious and asked if I could see who was texting him and Tom got really excited and spiked his cellphone on the ground, shattering it into little pieces. He was so embarrassed and explained that he was just excited to win and thought he was spiking a football. He's such a competitor.
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Feb 5, 2017 19:18
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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I think that maybe Tom could play any sport and be good. Usually when we go golfing he hits the ball so far that I can't even tell where it lands. Sometimes it looks like the ball just goes straight off the fairway and into a stand of trees and dense brush but Tom always assures me that it hooked around and landed on the green. drat if he's not always right, we walk up there and sure enough Tom's ball is there. Sometimes it's even in the hole. I've lost track of how many hole in ones Tom has gotten when we play but nothing surprises me with Tom these days.
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Feb 5, 2017 19:24
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- Android Blues
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Tom and I like to get the crossword from the Boston Globe and race to see who can finish it first. Tom is so good that he doesn't seem to be bothered that he gets a ton of texts while we do it and he still manages to beat me every time. That's some incredible multitasking. Last time I got curious and asked if I could see who was texting him and Tom got really excited and spiked his cellphone on the ground, shattering it into little pieces. He was so embarrassed and explained that he was just excited to win and thought he was spiking a football. He's such a competitor.
I think that maybe Tom could play any sport and be good. Usually when we go golfing he hits the ball so far that I can't even tell where it lands. Sometimes it looks like the ball just goes straight off the fairway and into a stand of trees and dense brush but Tom always assures me that it hooked around and landed on the green. drat if he's not always right, we walk up there and sure enough Tom's ball is there. Sometimes it's even in the hole. I've lost track of how many hole in ones Tom has gotten when we play but nothing surprises me with Tom these days.
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Feb 5, 2017 21:06
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- google THIS
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Tom insists that I'm much better at rock-paper-scissors than him. He's so slow that he's almost always late at flashing his sign, and sometimes his hand makes a different shape than his mind was thinking of and he has to correct it. He still wins a lot though. I can't help but root for him, to win with such an obvious handicap.
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Feb 5, 2017 21:07
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- FluffieDuckie
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Tom insists that I'm much better at rock-paper-scissors than him. He's so slow that he's almost always late at flashing his sign, and sometimes his hand makes a different shape than his mind was thinking of and he has to correct it. He still wins a lot though. I can't help but root for him, to win with such an obvious handicap.
Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!
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Feb 5, 2017 21:42
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- Macnult
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Tom and I occasionally meet up to shoot hoops. I can keep up with him at the local gym's court, but in his driveway? maaaan does he take home advantage to another level. His ball doesn't have much bounce, and since I always forget to bring an air pump we just play with what we've got. Of course with my dumb luck, the one time I finally remember to bring the air pump Tom doesn't even want to play basketball, or any other sport for that matter.
It's all good though because Tom is one of those dudes who you can just chill with and still have a good time.
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Feb 5, 2017 23:57
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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I  you Tom
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Feb 6, 2017 04:55
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- FluffieDuckie
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anxiously awaiting deflategate 2, the return of deflategate
Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!
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Feb 6, 2017 06:17
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- StandardVC10
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This avatar now 50% more dark mode compliant
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anxiously awaiting deflategate 2, the return of deflategate
Can you imagine what our world would be like if the Teapot Dome scandal was just a bit later in history? Everything would be all Watergatedome and Deflatedome.
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Feb 6, 2017 06:29
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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Really excited to find out this morning that my friend Tom's stock tip worked out and my investment in Amalgamated Weighted Trick Coins International is paying out big time.
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Feb 6, 2017 16:53
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- google THIS
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Please leave a 5-star review on Amazon for my friend Tom's new book, If I Did It. Not the OJ one; it's the one where the cover is a parody of Salvador Dali's The Persistence of Memory with footballs instead of watches.
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Feb 6, 2017 17:44
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- Doghouse
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I was playing Harvest Moon 64 with this kid who lived on my street and my cows were not doing well and I got so raged up and frustrated that my eyes welled up with tears and my friend was like are you crying dude. Are you crying because of the cows. I didn't understand the feeding mechanic.
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I played football once, with professional football player Tom Brady. He won, but only because he's talented, not because he summoned skeletons from the grave to tackle me and tie my hands and feet together - that honestly had nothing to do with it. He's a great guy, that Tom Brady.
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Feb 7, 2017 04:50
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- Ultra Spoot
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Personally i love playing chess with tom. He's so nice he does my moves for me. I still never win, but i feel like i'm getting really close haha
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Feb 7, 2017 08:11
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- alnilam
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technically, necromancy isn't even against the rules
The ref from air bud looks on stoically and nods
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Feb 8, 2017 00:04
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- bean mom
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technically, necromancy isn't even against the rules
dead bud clause
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Feb 8, 2017 01:41
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- unpleasantly turgid
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u lightweights couldn't even feed my shadow ;*
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There's a guy who keeps adding me on facebook, his first name is Tom. He's a pedophile and has some developmental disorders which I'm mostly okay with, but the real problem is that he actively solicits real children and i don't want to be one of two people on his facebook friendslist when the FBI comes a-knockin'
unpleasantly turgid fucked around with this message at 20:10 on Feb 10, 2017
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Feb 8, 2017 20:25
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Apr 24, 2024 11:13
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- Bacon Taco
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Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN
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Sometimes I have lunch with my friend Tom and he reaches in with his fingers and picks the tomatoes and red peppers out of my salad. It's pretty gross, especially if he's eating wings or something, but he says he's just protecting me from inflammation. That's a good friend.
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Feb 8, 2017 20:34
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Feb 4, 2017 17:43
<3 
<3 Vanisher 
