- Meeksha
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i did it all for the nookie
Ask me how!
-freb dust
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i got a nice paycheck and thought it would be nice to pull a scrooge mcduck by investing in a massive pit of gold dubloons (duckbloons?) to dive into/swim through. $8m later, i've got my 40ft pit of coins and i'm ready to dive. i let my wife go first (because i'm a gentleman) and she shattered nearly every bone in her body (hyoid was intact, THANK GOD).
lesson learned: CARTOON PHYSICS ARE BULL poo poo
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Aug 30, 2017 03:11
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 25, 2024 01:24
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- Meeksha
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i did it all for the nookie
Ask me how!
-freb dust
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to save gas i cut the floorboard out of my car so i could be like fred flintstone and just 'hoof it'
turns out the road is full of bumpy things (rocks...?) and it really hurts. plus i have a 10 mile commute so my dogs are barkin by the time i get home in the evening.
'MEET THE FLINTSTONES' MORE LIKE 'MEET THE LIARS'
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come on and slam and welcome to the jam
Thank you Heather Papps for the summer sig!
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Aug 30, 2017 03:14
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- Meeksha
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i did it all for the nookie
Ask me how!
-freb dust
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pushed a coyote off a cliff because looney tunes MISLED ME about the hilarious "donk" sound they make when they hit the ground, just before phasing a funny little wooden sign into existence to express their frustration.
reality proved to be much, much more emotionally and psychologically damaging. the sound was not a donk and there was no funny little sign. just a splat and blood. i'm still getting over it.
LOONEY TUNES MORE LIKE LOONEY (un)TRUTHS
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come on and slam and welcome to the jam
Thank you Heather Papps for the summer sig!
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Aug 30, 2017 03:18
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- MY INEVITABLE DEBT
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I am lonely and spend most of my time on 4Chan talking about the superiority of BBC porn.
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the acme company actually has a stellar track record and strict quality control
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Aug 30, 2017 03:28
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- MY INEVITABLE DEBT
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I am lonely and spend most of my time on 4Chan talking about the superiority of BBC porn.
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i saw a sign in the woods that said Rabbit Season but on the back of it in plain view it just says Duck Season. i cant possibly know which one it is
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Aug 30, 2017 03:29
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- Piso Mojado
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me [eating some fresh ACME bull butter]: I can't believe this is bull butter!
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Aug 30, 2017 04:42
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- Drink-Mix Man
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You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.
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so much blood
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Aug 31, 2017 08:10
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- Olive!
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It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...
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you can't actually play skeleton ribs like a xylophone. the people at the cemetery think it's "disrespectful"
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Aug 31, 2017 09:01
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- Android Blues
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i saw a pretty girl and my eyeballs swolen up and come out of hmy head and i turns out i have ebola
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Aug 31, 2017 10:08
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- Android Blues
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my tongue got rolly long and unrolled like a mat and then a lot of ulceration happened and the doctors think i have mouth leprosy from kissing my armadillo wife, who i love against the advice of the state
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Aug 31, 2017 11:23
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- Android Blues
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steam whistles came out of my ears because it turns out i have water on the brain and i shouldnt be trekking in the desert without a kufiyya or a bedouin sebleh
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Aug 31, 2017 11:26
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- Drink-Mix Man
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You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.
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I dressed as a lady to screw with one of my enemies and... I don't know, things it just felt right. I am so confused now.
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Aug 31, 2017 18:36
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- Ride The Gravitron
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by FactsAreUseless
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Tried to plug up a gun
At hospital
Lost fingat
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Aug 31, 2017 23:05
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- Peanut Butler
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common and understandable noob mistake
you use the coins to buy something you can swim in (water, prosecco, ground beef)
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Sep 2, 2017 09:24
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- google THIS
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So, turns out that stealing candy from a baby isn't that big of a deal. I mean don't get me wrong, it's underhanded and the baby doesn't like it, but the mom got in more trouble than me for giving her infant a lollipop, an obvious choking hazard, to begin with. In short, not a good way to commit suicide by cop.
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Sep 2, 2017 19:18
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 25, 2024 01:24
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- Meeksha
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i did it all for the nookie
Ask me how!
-freb dust
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common and understandable noob mistake
you use the coins to buy something you can swim in (water, prosecco, ground beef)
i backstroked through ground beef in a local butcher shop. the butcher chased me out of the building with a meat cleaver and let me tell you it was NOT as funny as in a cartoon. i was very scared and plus i smelled like a dead cow for a week.
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come on and slam and welcome to the jam
Thank you Heather Papps for the summer sig!
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Sep 6, 2017 21:41
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Aug 30, 2017 03:11
