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Revenge is a delicate mechanism unfolding subtly, patiently until a plan of Mouse Trappian brilliance brings down the plastic cage of shame on your enemies. Checkmate. Let's work together, BYOB to craft the perfect age-spanning revenge against all the petty tyrants and chuckleheaded yahoos that clutter our lives. OUTRAGE I dare not lay blame just yet, but a party in my office pollutes the fridge with month old soups and long forgotten yogurt cups. PROPOSAL Stage 1 - Rig a series of web-enabled cameras throughout the fridge area (inside the fridge?) and employ a team of data analysts to determine standard fridge usage and which person (or persons) abuses the common law and decency of public storage. Stage 2 - Once the target is found, collect yogurt preference data. Stage 3 - Gradually replace all yogurt with least favored option. Stage 4 - Subject starts to ask "Hey where's the [good yogurt]" bide time Stage 5 - Create dummy yogurt container labeled as the preferred type but SECRETLY filled with sour cream Stage 6 - When target complains say "Wow, I guess you didn't get to it fast enough and it went bad. Maybe you should be more careful about food in the fridge" Yahtzee. OK, gang. Let me have your notes or throw out your own problems/plans. |
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Sep 29, 2017 17:23
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 20:18 |
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Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves and fill them with yogurt and sour cream |
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Sep 29, 2017 19:48
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Replacing all the fabric in town with the scratchiest of wools. see if anyone laughs at me for scratching my tummy in public now! |
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Sep 30, 2017 03:13
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In the 7th grade Tabitha Walters teased me for two weeks because I'm lactose intolerant. I'm now breeding a special cow that produces extrafatty milk. Your move, you bloated bastards. |
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Sep 30, 2017 03:17
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Macnult posted:Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves and fill them with yogurt and sour cream |
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Sep 30, 2017 14:18
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| First I have to make a plan to manipulate someone into callously and deliberately ruining my life. | |
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Sep 30, 2017 15:38
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I've had myself declared legally dead and all it cost was 2 million dollars, a hobo corpse, and my ability to use financial institutions. Try to make me buy health insurance now, nanny state! |
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Sep 30, 2017 17:14
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In 2004 Prof. Milligan gave me a C- on a paper because I didn't get that Lolita was "ironic" whatever that means. Long story short, as your state senator I'm defunding all English departments. Enjoy your tenure, Milligan. |
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Sep 30, 2017 17:16
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Just digging my yard into a bottomless pit. No, no need to worry. Hey, this way you never have to pick up after your dog. |
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Sep 30, 2017 17:24
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I've encountered a small snag in my otherwise brilliant plan: It seems that planting cameras everywhere is quote-unquote hella illegal -- even for the purposes of perfectly reasonable fridge-focused revenge! My new plan is to gradually seduce every single coworker on this floor of the office building, gaining their trust, and hence access to their yogurt preferences. In a year or two, I'll be in! Shazaam. The travesty on floor 3 of the Boston Wholeness Meditation Center will not stand! |
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Oct 5, 2017 14:46
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I am not sure I have anything all that intricate in mind I mean, I do plan on getting revenge on that snide cashier at target by smashing capitalism however I secretly suspect that this might up benefiting her more than it hurts her, so I guess the plan needs tweaking |
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Oct 5, 2017 15:55
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Manifisto posted:I am not sure I have anything all that intricate in mind You could undermine capitalism, but also glue all the plastic bags closed, so that she keeps trying to open them but it is never the right side! (Although her health and basic financial wellbeing is in no way impacted by the bag fiasco, it would still rankle her hackles something fierce). |
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Oct 5, 2017 20:35
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im going directly to monte cristo island and staying there |
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Oct 6, 2017 02:57
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treasure bear posted:im going directly to monte cristo island and staying there the person who wronged you spends years preparing to defend themselves when you return and doing so consumes them, but it turns out the island is really nice and you just stay there enjoying your life |
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Oct 6, 2017 03:01
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Peanut butter under car door handle Intricate because u wait 40 years to do it |
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Oct 6, 2017 05:16
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The old paper bag on fire at the door trick But it's not poo, it's a birthday cake and it's their birthday |
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Oct 6, 2017 05:16
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I've started pranking, then feuding, then reconciling with everyone in the neighborhood except for Glen Martindale of 23 Pine Nut Blvd. At first, Glen will be grateful that he's not getting pranked. He'll shake his head as the feuding spirals. But what's this, Glen, they're all making friends? They're going to barbecues and learning to kayak? That's right, Glen, because my rowdy antics are not "embarrassing" and "petty," but the spice of life. |
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Oct 6, 2017 15:57
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I preëmptively get revenge on ppl by being extremely nice to them so that if they ever wrong me they feel bad about it 
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Oct 6, 2017 16:20
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 20:18 |
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alnilam posted:I preëmptively get revenge on ppl by being extremely nice to them so that if they ever wrong me they feel bad about it savage! I love it. Also good use of a diaeresis, Al. Under our swanky new mod, BYOB now keeps to the New Yorker style guide. |
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Oct 6, 2017 16:23
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