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Just thought I'd share this email I just received to my friends at SA. Anybody interested in joining with me? Maybe we can get a group discount? Am I going to be murdered by sharing this? It's got to be a good risk if I can make a $100k. Maybe I even get a bonus by signing some of you guys up like with those MML schemes.quote:The Illuminati Invitation <alexandra.ballokova@smail.unipo.sk>
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Oct 23, 2017 17:53
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Sign me up op I’ll illuminate their nati
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Oct 23, 2017 18:23
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If it helps anyone make up their minds, I've been a member of the Illuminati for years and I must say, the twice-yearly potlucks are nothing to write home about. I dunno why but NONE OF US CAN COOK. On the other hand the bathrooms are kept very clean.
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Oct 23, 2017 18:25
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Lol if you're not yet a member. Im grand mouthafukcing drakon of the third order. 
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Oct 23, 2017 18:26
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oh yeah? well look who emailed me Hi Folks, Goatse here!  me your dad fucked around with this message at 18:47 on Oct 23, 2017 |
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Oct 23, 2017 18:30
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I need my nati's illuminated, please contact me at your earliest convenience. Thank you for your consideration, -AbbadonOfHell
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Oct 23, 2017 18:34
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:Lol if you're not yet a member. What is the initiation process like?
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Oct 23, 2017 18:37
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Is this where I sign up for a sweet Illuminati custom title?
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Oct 23, 2017 18:37
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Initiation? Let's just say that you should leave your house unlocked and ignore any sign of your bathroom accessories having been rearranged. Also invest in corn subsidies.
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Oct 23, 2017 18:41
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Is there a mentor-program for new members to encourage the best illuminating strategies? My sense of social interior decoration is rusty
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Oct 23, 2017 18:43
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mind the walrus posted:Is there a mentor-program for new members to encourage the best illuminating strategies? My sense of social interior decoration is rusty We do offer a mentorship program but it tends to be Sith-like. You're basically going to be somebody's slave, anything you learn from them is likely to be incidental, and completing your apprenticeship usually involves throwing your mentor to the wolves, sometimes quite literally. Also you'll be given an embarrassing nickname and we'll use it all the time. If you're still interested I'll have my apprentice, Sundered Buttcheeks, send you an e-mail with specifics.
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Oct 23, 2017 18:56
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Put me down for two.
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Oct 23, 2017 18:57
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William Henry Hairytaint posted:We do offer a mentorship program but it tends to be Sith-like. You're basically going to be somebody's slave, anything you learn from them is likely to be incidental, and completing your apprenticeship usually involves throwing your mentor to the wolves, sometimes quite literally. Also you'll be given an embarrassing nickname and we'll use it all the time. If you're still interested I'll have my apprentice, Sundered Buttcheeks, send you an e-mail with specifics. Well I expected the slavery. If you're just giving $100k away then it can't be a lot relative to older members. So we kill our mentor to shed the nickname? Or is the illuminati filled with members like "Wizard of Dongs," "Hey baby Clementine Clementine you know your (sic) fine," "Section 12 paragraph 5 of the Illuminati's Guide to Polynesian tax law?"
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Oct 23, 2017 19:02
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you're gonna get disappeared for revealing this secret farewell op
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Oct 23, 2017 19:04
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I just hit the report button. Not that one, the one next to it for Illuminati only.
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Oct 23, 2017 19:43
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how much does Illuminati Platinum cost
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Oct 23, 2017 19:44
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Your first born child and twenty five almonds.
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Oct 23, 2017 19:47
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:Your first born child and twenty five activated almonds.
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Oct 23, 2017 19:49
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me your dad posted:Hi Folks, Goatse here! Lol
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Oct 23, 2017 19:50
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Don't give it away so easily Kloa! Where's the fun in knowing everything in advance? E: also while I have so many members reading this thread heres a short missive from the inner circle : Do not dance the fandango, it's much too gay outside. By popular demand fucked around with this message at 20:21 on Oct 23, 2017 |
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Oct 23, 2017 19:55
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Ein cooler Typ posted:you're gonna get disappeared for revealing this secret
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Oct 23, 2017 22:22
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i would hope that the illuminati could afford a better membership gift than $100,000. these guys are the ones printing the money, why be so cheap about it?
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Oct 23, 2017 22:25
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The Illuminati are so desperate for members they’ll take anyone. They’re old and out of touch with modern shadow world governance. They don’t even have an app and their website is so Web 1.0.
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Oct 29, 2017 17:34
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Rutibex posted:i would hope that the illuminati could afford a better membership gift than $100,000. these guys are the ones printing the money, why be so cheap about it? It’s not $100k USD you doofus. Its 100k U (illUminati dollars). You could buy a small country with that!
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Oct 29, 2017 17:44
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The Management posted:The Illuminati are so desperate for members they’ll take anyone. They’re old and out of touch with modern shadow world governance. They don’t even have an app and their website is so Web 1.0. This is Rotten Apple to Skeletor Team, we have a No Goodnik goes by "The Management" who's Lowering Property Values, please deploy at your convenience code Lumpy Gravy I repeat, code Lumpy Gravy. 
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Oct 29, 2017 17:49
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