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HotSoapyBeard

I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN
I’m struggling to remember when these guys turned up but they just follow me non-stop playing jaunty tunes. Literally non-stop: sleeping is borderline impossible, they haven’t changed their clothes in weeks and are really starting to smell too; I have no idea when they eat or anything.
Also the guy with the giant guitar could really look away or something when I pee, especially with the sweat from constant performance dripping from his moustache and his intense look of fatigue and concentration it’s really unnerving.
The style and tone of music doesn’t always match the context either; my uncle died last week and I don’t think I’m ever going to be invited to another family funeral again.

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UWBW

Permanently banned from the Alamo
Pfft, you lucky son of a bitch. I've got an infestation of Square Dancers in the attic. All day, all night, non-stop kicking, stamping, and YEE-HAWS. It's awful! Dust is always comically falling from my ceiling and I think the boards above my boy's room are about to give way any day now. I tried to go up there with a broom one night and shoo them all away, but they started hissing at me and began menacingly promenading forth. I scrambled back downstairs, locking the door behind me.

Please help, my entire house now smells of Lone Star and hay.


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig, and Koishi for the last one. TVsVeryOwn made the CyberMike.

vanisher

The band seems to be a hive mind, moving and playing in step with me. I look down and my suspicions are confirmed. The players legs seem to be joined in a deformed slug like body, sliming its way over and around obstacles. It slowly moves closer, its hypnotic rhythms slowing my responses. My mind, numbed, struggles to form thoughts. My muscles lose their rigidity and I fall to the ground. The slug band slowly slides over me as I'm absorbed into the mass. My new form slowly rises from its back, clutching a living guitar made of my broken flesh, as we hunt for our next prey.

Manifisto


:( my application to be constantly followed by a 70s soundtrack band was denied for "insufficient funk"


ty nesamdoom!

blaise rascal

"Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Pearl...."
The eras of swing music:
1930: Swing songs are written for Broadway
1950: Big Band era and height of popularity
1970: Revival by Manhattan Transfer, Brian Setzer Orchestra, etc.
1990: Revival by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, etc.
2010: Subgenres and fusion genres, especially with electronica
2017: Every swing dancer in the world congregates on my lawn

blaise rascal fucked around with this message at 01:27 on Oct 24, 2017


ty vanisher, ty khanstant

alnilam

vanisher posted:

The band seems to be a hive mind, moving and playing in step with me. I look down and my suspicions are confirmed. The players legs seem to be joined in a deformed slug like body, sliming its way over and around obstacles. It slowly moves closer, its hypnotic rhythms slowing my responses. My mind, numbed, struggles to form thoughts. My muscles lose their rigidity and I fall to the ground. The slug band slowly slides over me as I'm absorbed into the mass. My new form slowly rises from its back, clutching a living guitar made of my broken flesh, as we hunt for our next prey.



ty manifisto

RatEarth

I didn't say that.
but it'd be funny if I did
Buddy, pal, you got off easy. I have an orchestra that follows me around, and they just won't stop playing scare chords any time I do anything. And I don't mean a quartet, oh, no. At least one hundred people are near me at all times, maybe more. They're pouring out the doors and windows, and I haven't slept in weeks. I'm still not entirely sure how they fit all their instruments in my room. I have to use a stick to fight through the crowd when I leave my house.

Dads Dip Cup

my pen begins to roll off the desk top and reflexively I raise my hand to try and catch it only to knock it up into the air, the band begins to play the mexican hat dance as I frantically juggle and attempt to secure it

Starshark
I went to Africa and didn't bother to get my shots because, hell, I'm a pretty healthy guy, and half the time those things make you worse than the disease. But I was a fool. I went, and guess what? Bagpipes.

UWBW

Permanently banned from the Alamo

Starshark posted:

I went to Africa and didn't bother to get my shots because, hell, I'm a pretty healthy guy, and half the time those things make you worse than the disease. But I was a fool. I went, and guess what? Bagpipes.

I caught Bagpipes in a gas station bathroom on New Years Eve back in the 70's. Terrible. Lasted for nearly a week, but I couldn't get the images of those poor, poor sheep out of my mind for a month.


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig, and Koishi for the last one. TVsVeryOwn made the CyberMike.

Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless

Starshark posted:

I went to Africa and didn't bother to get my shots because, hell, I'm a pretty healthy guy, and half the time those things make you worse than the disease. But I was a fool. I went, and guess what? Bagpipes.

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HotSoapyBeard

I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN
G...guys... I just tried to have dinner at a Mexican restaurant and.. poo poo got real. There was this house mariachi band there and Fat Pablo, he... he died.

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