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sequel to this thread: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3814771 but i can't quote the op because it's locked for archiving many moons ago, i impulse-bought a whole ham because it was a dollar a pound and i'm a bachelor who likes to cook, is broke as hell, and has poor impulse control. i asked the general food chat thread for advice on what to do with it, and settled on the following recipes: Squashy Nipples posted:Ham salad. Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:Also this I did a trip report on the first two in the previous thread. Now for the thrilling conclusion: ham and bananas hollandaise, because The 1970s i guess The Nineteen-Seventies posted:6 medium bananas  you might be able to glean this from that bundle of ingredients, but i had just assumed the recipe card was a pretty straightforward modern mom on the go kinda thing where you whip some poo poo up for dinner quick, and that's why the "hollandaise" was basically a cream sauce that used hollandaise mix. i was wrong about that being why (some of you might already be facepalming), but we'll get to that later. for now, know that i was ignoring the sauce part of the recipe and going to make hollandaise from scratch, because it's something i like doing and i've gotten to have a pretty good hang of it since i 1) like eggs benedict and 2) am too poor to eat at the kind of restaurants that don't make it from a mix  "here i am spreading my ham slices with mustard before i wrap them around the bananas" is a real caption to a real picture of me lol  the ham slices were hella thick because i had already carved up the whole hame into these thick slickes without realizing i'd need some thin ones for the bananas. so the slices are all clumsy looking. but thats fine, it's what i think rich people call "rustic"  making the hollandaise. this, like the mayonnaise i made for the previous recipes is also following the directions from Mastering The Art Of French Cooking by Beck, Bertholle & Child. It was my great grandmother's copy and i more or less taught myself to cook out of it, so it's pretty special to me. I often return to it for these sorts of staple/classic recipes because it strikes a really great balance between reverence for the art of cooking and the practical experience of the home cook. it doesn't get all evangelical about how if you're not using tool a or ingredient b you're doing it wrong, but it's not shy with describing what you gain/lose by avoiding/taking compromises, and then lets you make the call. it also makes zero assumptions about your skills, abilities, kitchen, or tools; every technique referenced is described in detail somewhere in the book, either in the recipe or in the skills section in the front. this book taught me to chop onions, skin tomatoes, simmer stock, and.... make mayo and hollandaise from scratch but we're not doing a recipe from that book, we're doing ham and bananas hollandaise from some promotional recipe card  by the time the hollandaise was done, it was time for the ham to come out of the oven for the first time. so far, it smelled good. everything was getting aromatic, the bananas, the mustard, and the ham, but the smells seemed to work together, boding well. time to add the hollandaise!  hey that looks pretty tast  hey wait what's going on here. that doesn't look right. it all just kinda slid off the bananas and ham, nothing at all like the picture. and now its changing appearance somehow. huh. well, i'm in it for the duration at this point. back in the oven like it says after five more minutes in the oven, per the recipe:  oh, that's what was happening. the hollandaise was breaking from the residual heat in the bananas/ham and the baking dish. in the five extra minutes in the oven, it fully curdled. maybe that was why the recipe didn't call for real hollandaise, but a cream-stabilized sauce? the ham and bananas are now surrounded in a half-inch of butter with a couple scrambled egg yolks floating in it. it still smells good though. really good, actually. like ham and butter and bananas  gently caress it, i'm hungry, and this smells good  i ate one of the banana ham rolls, complete with fully curdled hollandaise, while watching The Despecialized Edition of Star Wars it was fine. the cooked bananas were quite sweet, as cooked bananas usually are, but not too sweet to not get along with the ham. i forget how sweet ham itself is until i have it paired with sweet flavors. anyway, it was two basic things that go together fine, plus mustard and butter. my broke rear end sure as poo poo wasn't going to throw it out. it was definitely better fresh; after cooling in the fridge the broken hollandaise got an unpleasant greasy texture. i finished it over the course of the next few days, one or two hambananas at a sitting. it was kind of an anticlimax, which is maybe why I put off this writeup. but there it is. i somehow managed to take that batshit insane recipe card and gently caress it up worse, and still ate it anyway Cactus Ghost fucked around with this message at 13:08 on Nov 25, 2017 |
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Nov 25, 2017 13:04
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 07:46 |
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Brilliant. Thank you for bringing this abomination to life.
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Nov 25, 2017 13:36
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Good job on those hamnanas
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Nov 25, 2017 16:09
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Having literally eaten the same recipe a couple weeks ago for a toxx I don't believe you when you say it was fine
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Nov 26, 2017 03:24
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Intruder posted:Having literally eaten the same recipe a couple weeks ago for a toxx I don't believe you when you say it was fine Can you post a link to that post? I saw the toxx, but I never saw you fulfill it
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Nov 26, 2017 06:38
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The Glumslinger posted:Can you post a link to that post? I saw the toxx, but I never saw you fulfill it Intruder posted:It's ready Intruder posted:Hello friends it's both magical and horrifying. Mostly horrifying tbh
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Nov 26, 2017 06:50
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OP made a better hollandaise and used thicker, better quality ham so that could make a difference obviously
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Nov 26, 2017 16:17
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 07:46 |
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Intruder posted:OP made a better hollandaise and used thicker, better quality ham so that could make a difference obviously experience has also shown me i’m way, WAY less of a histronic drama queen than most of GWS
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Nov 30, 2017 08:31
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