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crrrrrrreeeeaak goes the door. but there’s a jingle from a little bell too. they know right where you are. You meander a bit around this new store. ”What the gently caress are these things?” you murmur to yourself. Your curiosity lifts your hand to the round face of the clock. Seriously is this some sort of calendar or calculator? A demanding but collected “Watch yourself,” comes from right behind you. You think you feel the barrel of a Gun touching the back of your head. You turn around to make sure. Sure enough, here it is. A loving gun. Riiiight in your face. The guy starts talking before you could say ‘help’, “Wanna buy this Gun?” “I’m just looking at these,” the neon ‘CLOCKS’ sign shimmers in the background, “..clocks... I don’t think I need a gun” “You don’t need to know what time it is if you have a gun,” the clerk replies without shifting his aim more than a few millimeters. You stand puzzled, folding and re-folding your arms until a confident “well, I wouldn’t usually do this but I’ll take three please” |
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Dec 8, 2017 23:22
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 04:32 |
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Jason, did you put that clock back on safety? Last time you forgot remember what happened? It’s called daylight savings? |
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Dec 8, 2017 23:24
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oh sure, some might prefer a precision manufactured Swiss piece, but I find that a Chinese abacus and Sumerian sundial are just fine for timing every motherfucker in the room.
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Dec 9, 2017 01:43
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I would go to the clock shop to buy some guns but I’m too afraid of cuckoo clocks |
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Dec 12, 2017 12:42
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a lot of folks, especially around these parts, have taken to putting clocks on the walls so they're available just in case they're needed. hell some of them carry small clocks around with them all the time, on their wrists. I am as big a believer as anyone in the right to own and use clocks, but I think this is madness. how would you feel if a stranger came into your home and decided to satisfy their urges to tell the time by using your clock? that's what I thought. responsible clock ownership involves a clock safe. it's a little inconvenient when I wake up in the middle of the night and need to figure out what time it is, but it's sure one hell of a lot better than getting out of bed and confronting an intruder who already knows.
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Dec 12, 2017 16:24
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 04:32 |
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Look guys. We haven’t sold a gun in a month, and I’m starting to think it’s because of the sawed off shotgun we rigged to fire at the door when it opens instead of having one of those little jingly bells. And it’s not like we have all the time in the world to sell these guns, we just have a lot of clocks |
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Dec 13, 2017 01:39
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