it's be funny if the movie Footloose was about eating ass

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little munchkin

it's banned in the town because the local pastor hates it so much but a new boy from the city begins to win over the hearts and minds of some of the locals

the movie ends with a bunch of the main characters all eating rear end in a barn

# ? May 20, 2018 01:58

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 04:35

cda: by Hand Knit

The name would be more confusing, though.

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# ? May 20, 2018 02:12

little munchkin

cda posted:

The name would be more confusing, though.

its the same plot so the name should stay the same as well

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# ? May 20, 2018 02:30

Dads Dip Cup

your local pastor hates the movie Footloose so much that he banned it from the entire town? :confused:

# ? May 20, 2018 02:51

mysterious frankie: This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.

cda posted:

The name would be more confusing, though.

they would call it assdeep

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# ? May 20, 2018 02:57

wearing a lampshade

Every Kevin Bacon movie is about eating rear end to some degree.

# ? May 20, 2018 03:58

Papa Was A Video Toaster

What does Kevin Bacon angrily do in an industrial/warehouse area in the middle of the movie?

# ? May 20, 2018 04:11

wearing a lampshade

Eat rear end

# ? May 20, 2018 04:14

Papa Was A Video Toaster

whose rear end?

# ? May 20, 2018 04:15

FutonForensic

all rear end

# ? May 20, 2018 05:39

Macnult

Giving Footloose by Kenny Loggins a re-listen. This time , through the lens of an individual eating rear end
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFWDGTVYqE8

# ? May 20, 2018 06:37

Peg Sliderskew

TVsVeryOwn posted:

What does Kevin Bacon angrily do in an industrial/warehouse area in the middle of the movie?

Angrily tongue a selection of fruit and vegetables with single wedges cut out of them. Starting with grapefruit and working up to pumpkin.

Courtesy of Manifisto

# ? May 20, 2018 11:42

Farecoal: There he go

Dads Dip Cup posted:

your local pastor hates the movie Footloose so much that he banned it from the entire town?

woah. meta

# ? May 20, 2018 12:01

Farecoal: There he go

i haven't seen the movie, why does the pastor have this much power? is it a cult town?

# ? May 20, 2018 12:03

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Caboose

I'm hungry for food
Want sumthin' that's good
Don't care about calories
Or things that are good for me
I've got a craving
I don't know what to make
Could bake a rump roast
Or a 5 pound butt steak

[Refrain]
Now all I think about is caboose (caboose!)
Don't want no oven baked goose
Please, Louise, carve off some rear end meat for me
Jack, get Max, to butcher up some gluteous max
For food that's fast, everyone eat some rear end!

[Verse 2]
You sit on your food
I think it's kind of rude.
Deep way down in your gut
You're yearning for some butt
But people tell you
"You shouldn't eat that rear end!"
They'll try to tell you
You shouldn't even try
You'll get by if you'd only

[Refrain]
Munch rear end, don't pass
Wash it down with some sassafrass
Ooh-wee Marie, it's a tea made out of trees
Woah, Milo, chomp a cheek it's just culo!
Don't fight your appetite come on come on and grab a bite!

[Bridge]
Yeah, ooh-oh-oh
Caboose
Yeah, ooh-oh-oh
Caboose
Yeah, ooh-oh-oh
Caboose
Ooh

You've got to wear a bib
Not tryin' to fib
Gotta grab that dimpled meat
And eat that caboose

[Refrain]
Now I think I'll eat some caboose
Don't want no half-baked goose

Please, Louise, carve off some rear end meat for me
Jack, get Mack, to butcher up some gluteous max
For food that's fast, everyone eat some rear end!

(every body butt) Everybody butt
Everybody butt

Don't want no half-baked goose
Please, Louise, carve off some rear end meat for me
Jack, get Max, to butcher up some gluteous max
For food that's fast, everyone eat some rear end!

Everybody butt everybody butt
Eat caboose!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? May 20, 2018 15:58

cda: by Hand Knit

I think the premise for this thread is good except that I've never seen Footloose so it's hard for me to participate. I imagine it would be something like this:

Kevin Bacon: Hello, my name is Footloose. John Footloose. I've returned to this small town from New York City to tell you about eating rear end.

Love interest girl: My name is Nancy Footloose. Don't worry, though. I'm not related to you. It's just that Footloose is a very common name.

John Footloose: It's a pleasure to meet you here at church while the pastor is listening to me tell you that eating rear end is a good thing to do.

Pastor Footloose: [note that the pastor never says his name, but his name is also John Footloose. It's just a coincidence, but he's the one the movie is named after It's against God to eat rear end, and there's probably a law on the books about it too. Stop talking about that.

John Footloose: Let's you and me go somewhere private where we can talk more about eating rear end.

Nancy Footloose: Okay.

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# ? May 20, 2018 19:37

Farecoal: There he go

Your name: John Footloose
Your mission: Loosen all feet

# ? May 21, 2018 01:13

Manifisto

Splatmaster posted:

Caboose

I'm hungry for food
Want sumthin' that's good
Don't care about calories
Or things that are good for me
I've got a craving
I don't know what to make
Could bake a rump roast
Or a 5 pound butt steak

[Refrain]
Now all I think about is caboose (caboose!)
Don't want no oven baked goose
Please, Louise, carve off some rear end meat for me
Jack, get Max, to butcher up some gluteous max
For food that's fast, everyone eat some rear end!

[Verse 2]
You sit on your food
I think it's kind of rude.
Deep way down in your gut
You're yearning for some butt
But people tell you
"You shouldn't eat that rear end!"
They'll try to tell you
You shouldn't even try
You'll get by if you'd only

[Refrain]
Munch rear end, don't pass
Wash it down with some sassafrass
Ooh-wee Marie, it's a tea made out of trees
Woah, Milo, chomp a cheek it's just culo!
Don't fight your appetite come on come on and grab a bite!

[Bridge]
Yeah, ooh-oh-oh
Caboose
Yeah, ooh-oh-oh
Caboose
Yeah, ooh-oh-oh
Caboose
Ooh

You've got to wear a bib
Not tryin' to fib
Gotta grab that dimpled meat
And eat that caboose

[Refrain]
Now I think I'll eat some caboose
Don't want no half-baked goose

Please, Louise, carve off some rear end meat for me
Jack, get Mack, to butcher up some gluteous max
For food that's fast, everyone eat some rear end!

(every body butt) Everybody butt
Everybody butt

Don't want no half-baked goose
Please, Louise, carve off some rear end meat for me
Jack, get Max, to butcher up some gluteous max
For food that's fast, everyone eat some rear end!

Everybody butt everybody butt
Eat caboose!

lol

ty nesamdoom!

# ? May 21, 2018 01:31

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

Johnny "Loose Foot" Footloose

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# ? May 21, 2018 17:27

Bacon Taco: Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN

Assloose!

# ? May 21, 2018 20:18

alnilam

I know one brave maan with a loose rear end, and he set out to change the puritanical ways of the prudish internet comedy world by proudly displaying it for all to see

# ? May 22, 2018 02:30

alnilam

"assholes??" said nancy, her lips quivering, "aren't those.... forbidden?"

"not for long, if i have anything to do with it" he replied

"oh goatman, please, before you go through with this, in case i don't see you again... will you marry me?"

# ? May 22, 2018 02:32

FutonForensic

edit: rear end

FutonForensic fucked around with this message at 03:42 on May 22, 2018

# ? May 22, 2018 03:39

joke_explainer

Patrick Swazye is "Johnny Castle", a dancing instructor with a secret passion that is certainly off the books at the beautiful vacation spot where he works in the Catskills. Jennifer Grey plays "Frances 'Baby' Houseman" a 17-year old dragged on vacation by her parents and disillusioned with her life lacking in excitement, or anything new and fresh. He introduces her to a provocative act that will change both of their lives forever. Their shared loved of """dirty dancing""" complicates life for both of them, straining Johnny's professional life and Baby's personal life to the breaking point.

Finale:

[JOHNNY walks in on the closing ceremonies of the season to find BABY at a secluded table, sitting, parents embarrassed and chiding her. He steps up to the table.]

JOHNNY: "Nobody puts Baby in the corner. Come on."

JOHNNY and BABY head up to the stage, stepping in front of the chorus, and JOHNNY stands in front of the mic.

JOHNNY: "Sorry about the disruption folks, but I always do the last dance of the season. This year somebody told me not to. So I'm going to do my kind of dancing, with a great partner, who is not only a terrific... "dancer", but it's someone who taught me to stand up for other people no matter what it costs you. Somebody who taught me about the kind of person I want to be. Frances Houseman."

BABY'S FATHER is aghast. He stands up.

BABY'S MOTHER: "Sit down Jake. Maybe this will be okay?"

[MUSIC BEGINS: (I've Had) The Time of My Life recorded by Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley]

[BABY stands on the stage while Johnny slowly steps on to the beat. Then they start pulling off clothes.]

BABY'S MOTHER: "Oh god. Nevermind. I'm calling the police."

[The other """DIRTY DANCERS""" climb onto the stage, rapidly shedding their pants.]

[FADE TO BLACK AS EVERYONE FLEES IN DISGUST.]

[FADE IN AS THE ENTIRE STAFF IS BEING MARCHED OUT IN HANDCUFFS IN SILENCE.]

# ? May 22, 2018 04:08

little munchkin

cda posted:

I think the premise for this thread is good except that I've never seen Footloose so it's hard for me to participate. I imagine it would be something like this:

Kevin Bacon: Hello, my name is Footloose. John Footloose. I've returned to this small town from New York City to tell you about eating rear end.

Love interest girl: My name is Nancy Footloose. Don't worry, though. I'm not related to you. It's just that Footloose is a very common name.

John Footloose: It's a pleasure to meet you here at church while the pastor is listening to me tell you that eating rear end is a good thing to do.

Pastor Footloose: [note that the pastor never says his name, but his name is also John Footloose. It's just a coincidence, but he's the one the movie is named after It's against God to eat rear end, and there's probably a law on the books about it too. Stop talking about that.

John Footloose: Let's you and me go somewhere private where we can talk more about eating rear end.

Nancy Footloose: Okay.

i've never seen it either but that's pretty much how the movie goes i think. love interest girl is the pastors daughter though

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# ? May 22, 2018 05:09

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

hockey jockey posted:

Angrily tongue a selection of fruit and vegetables with single wedges cut out of them. Starting with grapefruit and working up to pumpkin.

# ? May 22, 2018 18:15

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 04:35

Android Blues

joke_explainer posted:

Patrick Swazye is "Johnny Castle", a dancing instructor with a secret passion that is certainly off the books at the beautiful vacation spot where he works in the Catskills. Jennifer Grey plays "Frances 'Baby' Houseman" a 17-year old dragged on vacation by her parents and disillusioned with her life lacking in excitement, or anything new and fresh. He introduces her to a provocative act that will change both of their lives forever. Their shared loved of """dirty dancing""" complicates life for both of them, straining Johnny's professional life and Baby's personal life to the breaking point.

Finale:

[JOHNNY walks in on the closing ceremonies of the season to find BABY at a secluded table, sitting, parents embarrassed and chiding her. He steps up to the table.]

JOHNNY: "Nobody puts Baby in the corner. Come on."

JOHNNY and BABY head up to the stage, stepping in front of the chorus, and JOHNNY stands in front of the mic.

JOHNNY: "Sorry about the disruption folks, but I always do the last dance of the season. This year somebody told me not to. So I'm going to do my kind of dancing, with a great partner, who is not only a terrific... "dancer", but it's someone who taught me to stand up for other people no matter what it costs you. Somebody who taught me about the kind of person I want to be. Frances Houseman."

BABY'S FATHER is aghast. He stands up.

BABY'S MOTHER: "Sit down Jake. Maybe this will be okay?"

[MUSIC BEGINS: (I've Had) The Time of My Life recorded by Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley]

[BABY stands on the stage while Johnny slowly steps on to the beat. Then they start pulling off clothes.]

BABY'S MOTHER: "Oh god. Nevermind. I'm calling the police."

[The other """DIRTY DANCERS""" climb onto the stage, rapidly shedding their pants.]

[FADE TO BLACK AS EVERYONE FLEES IN DISGUST.]

[FADE IN AS THE ENTIRE STAFF IS BEING MARCHED OUT IN HANDCUFFS IN SILENCE.]

cda posted:

I think the premise for this thread is good except that I've never seen Footloose so it's hard for me to participate. I imagine it would be something like this:

Kevin Bacon: Hello, my name is Footloose. John Footloose. I've returned to this small town from New York City to tell you about eating rear end.

Love interest girl: My name is Nancy Footloose. Don't worry, though. I'm not related to you. It's just that Footloose is a very common name.

John Footloose: It's a pleasure to meet you here at church while the pastor is listening to me tell you that eating rear end is a good thing to do.

Pastor Footloose: [note that the pastor never says his name, but his name is also John Footloose. It's just a coincidence, but he's the one the movie is named after It's against God to eat rear end, and there's probably a law on the books about it too. Stop talking about that.

John Footloose: Let's you and me go somewhere private where we can talk more about eating rear end.

Nancy Footloose: Okay.

# ? May 24, 2018 10:17

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > it's be funny if the movie Footloose was about eating ass