| I open my mouth to ask “what seems to be the problem, officer?” But instead of words a huge cloud of weed smoke billows out. | |
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May 27, 2018 15:38
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"I was merely encouraging the proliferation of the police force through consensual procreation. I'm not entirely sure why you seem upset; do you have any tickets to the Policeman's Ball? You don't have any balls, you say? Well, that's sort of a shame I suppose!" |
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May 27, 2018 15:42
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I stick my head out of the window and yell "Sir, Am I being detained, sir?" over and over again in a loud shrill voice before the cop can get anywhere near my car. He eventually gets tired of trying to talk over me and moves on to easier prey. This also works on bears.
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May 27, 2018 16:31
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Koishi Komeiji posted:I stick my head out of the window and yell "Sir, Am I being detained, sir?" over and over again in a loud shrill voice before the cop can get anywhere near my car. He eventually gets tired of trying to talk over me and moves on to easier prey. This also works on bears. *gets out of car on stilts to appear larger than the bear in an attempt to threaten it off* *ends up on normal-sized stretcher into an ambulance after being tased to the ground because it didn't work* https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 27, 2018 16:41
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The cop saunters up to the driver’s side window and looks inside. To his surprise, there’s no one behind the wheel! He looks around and makes eye contact with me sitting in the backseat. I shrug my shoulders as if to say “look, I’m as confused as you are.”
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May 27, 2018 18:37
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Every time the cop is about to get to my window I pull forward another few feet, barely able to restrain my laughter.
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May 28, 2018 13:38
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I roll down my window and I’m also dressed in full state trooper uniform complete with campaign hat. Taking advantage of his momentary confusion I begin to rattle off a whole list of violations he’s committed as I scribble furiously on my ticket pad. Officer Fudd staggers back to his car, distraught at how he’s going to pay all these tickets. Realizing only after I start to drive away that he’s been duped. Applewhite fucked around with this message at 20:35 on May 28, 2018 ---------------- |
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May 28, 2018 13:42
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Thing only go downhill when the cop sees that my car is chockablock full of bootleg “gently caress the police” merchandise. I’m also wearing a blue “gently caress the police” hat and novelty sunglasses.
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May 28, 2018 14:10
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he also didn't appreciate me complimenting his halloween costume in March
paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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May 28, 2018 17:16
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offered the policeman a bagel and asked him if he was turned on by schmear didn't end well; now I'm married to a cop
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May 28, 2018 18:44
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Applewhite posted:The cop saunters up to the driver’s side window and looks inside. To his surprise, there’s no one behind the wheel! He looks around and makes eye contact with me sitting in the backseat. I shrug my shoulders as if to say “look, I’m as confused as you are.” |
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May 28, 2018 19:53
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license and registration, you say? *pretends to look for them* looks like they've disappeared! *starts reaching towards the police officer's face* and anyway I'm not sure how you're going to run them with such dirty ears . . . |
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May 28, 2018 20:26
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Me, getting ready with the party popper as he approaches my vehicle: “oh man, Jim’s gonna be so surprised; he thought everyone forgot his birthday...”
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May 28, 2018 20:39
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Applewhite posted:The cop saunters up to the driver’s side window and looks inside. To his surprise, there’s no one behind the wheel! He looks around and makes eye contact with me sitting in the backseat. I shrug my shoulders as if to say “look, I’m as confused as you are.” ---------------- |
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May 28, 2018 21:11
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Manifisto posted:license and registration, you say? *pretends to look for them* looks like they've disappeared! *starts reaching towards the police officer's face* and anyway I'm not sure how you're going to run them with such dirty ears . . . ---------------- |
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May 28, 2018 21:15
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Flip a couple of U-turns, pull up behind him, get out and ask him if he knows why you pulled him over.
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May 29, 2018 14:04
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*Lowers sunglasses flirtatiously* Hello officer.
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May 30, 2018 21:03
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"Look I'm a Sovereign Citizen and no matter what you say I will not get out of this car nor do I have a valid license in your country and drug/gun/sex laws do no apply to me, so...check mate is what I'm saying officer" |
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May 30, 2018 21:09
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no not you, the other police
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
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May 31, 2018 19:01
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No, excuse you officer |
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May 31, 2018 21:03
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e: didnt workshop this enough
take the moon fucked around with this message at 00:02 on Jun 1, 2018 ---------------- |
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May 31, 2018 21:32
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"Do you know why I pulled you over?" "No, can we play Hot or Cold to find out?" "Uh... okay?" "I was driving way too awesome!" "Umm, cold, really cold." "I was driving pretty awesome?" "...Warmer."
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Jun 1, 2018 01:06
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the police officer opens my car door only to find another door. the police officer opens the second door only to find another door. the police officer opens the third door only to find another door... |
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Jun 1, 2018 13:07
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 16:03 |
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Sorry for all the trouble officer, I'm ready to cooperate with your procedures. All my documents are in the glove compartment. I'm sure you'll find what you need in there. *wink wink* *2 dozen packets of instant ramen and plastic forks fall out* You have a nice evening too, officer. |
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Jun 1, 2018 13:14
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