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I'm meeting a 92-year-old next week. Do you have any good questions to ask an older person? First-hand accounts of elder wisdom also welcome ITT.
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Jun 5, 2018 20:08
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 19:55 |
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I work with the elderly and honestly, just taking a genuine interest in them will elicit good vibes and some interesting stories. Recently I had a lady telling me about losing her job and so deciding to visit her sister in Baghdad, where she ending up being proposed to in a Russian summer compound by some dude who she'd only met that evening and who could barely speak English. Apparently his proposal was "You single lady, I single man. You marry me, have eight babies, get medal for being military hero wife" - none of this impressed her because she's always valued her freedom over everything. Be genuine, ask meaningful stuff about their past and intetests, and I'm sure you'll both have a great time. Older people are so used to being written off that it means a lot to just be treated like a normal person, so they're usually happy to just chat.
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Jun 5, 2018 22:39
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Ask about what it was like living through events like the depression, wwii, the cold war, etc. My great grandma was a young lady in the 20's and firmly believed that modern kids were too goody goody for her taste.
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Jun 7, 2018 04:54
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Standard flattery is always a good gateway to get a conversation going. “You’re 92? You don’t look a day over 75! Tell me your secret!” Then they talk about how they’ve been having Sanka and Jameson every day since 1942 and boom, you’ve got stuff you can use for a conversation. Why Jameson, how coffee and coffee culture has changed over the years, the 40’s, what happened in 1942 that made them take up Sanka and Jameson, etc. Similarly, other broad questions that are beyond the basic “how are you?” I always like asking for someone to give me the elevator pitch for their memoir, or just asking “what makes you tick?” Phrase the question in an interesting way and the answer will always get more interesting as well.
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Jun 7, 2018 06:00
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Did you eat the rear end back in the day?
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Jun 7, 2018 15:36
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In most cases, be prepared for brutally honest answers to your questions. If they've made it to 92, they are definitely going to speak their mind.
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Jun 8, 2018 18:35
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Cat Army
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Put me in your will to punish them for not visiting?
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Jun 14, 2018 06:39
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MightyJoe36 posted:In most cases, be prepared for brutally honest answers to your questions. If they've made it to 92, they are definitely going to speak their mind. Preach. People reaching that age with all their faculties intact have already seen the whole movie of all the mistakes you're making 3 or 4 times over and don't give a poo poo about your feelings. It's goddamn glorious
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Jun 27, 2018 23:33
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The greatest thing anyone has ever said to me in my entire life is "I just wish I could be 80 again"
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Jun 27, 2018 23:35
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Thanks for the feedback, all. The conversation was good, and honest. Here’s their secret to a long life: - don’t smoke - don’t eat too much - listen to your drat doctor
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Jun 28, 2018 03:45
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old people lose all their inhibitions, so just ask them where's their favourite place to poo poo and they'll tell you (the answer won't be "in the toilet")
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Jun 28, 2018 12:37
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A little late but ask about their balls
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Jun 29, 2018 03:34
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SilkyP posted:A little late but ask about their balls Whoa my mind is blown imagining 90 year old nuts.
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Jul 6, 2018 10:52
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Vaginal Vagrant posted:Whoa my mind is blown imagining 90 year old nuts. Grey/minimal pubes and the sack stretches and droops.
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Jul 8, 2018 06:01
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Always ask old people about food. What they miss from the old days. And suddenly you have some old lady telling you about the time during WW2 when someone made a meat pie out of seagulls and an illegally caught fox. Or how much they miss a particular cocktail the local distiller used to make if you knew the secret password. The last time I visited my granddad, age 79, he told me the worst thing about being on the final stage of cancer ward was that the nurses didn't bring him beer. He had lost his appetite, food just didn't taste right anymore, but he missed beer. Beer made him remember how until he retired, he would go out every Friday and drink exactly two beers with his work mates. So I did the only thing you can do in that situation. I went out and bought him five cans of different beers. He drank three of them right then and there, at eleven in the morning. Saved the other two for later. Happy day. (He died less than three days later. Doubt the beer had anything to do with that, but even if it did, no regrets. He deserved those last beers. Never did tell my mum about them...)
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Jul 8, 2018 15:11
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BattyKiara posted:Always ask old people about food. What they miss from the old days. And suddenly you have some old lady telling you about the time during WW2 when someone made a meat pie out of seagulls and an illegally caught fox. Or how much they miss a particular cocktail the local distiller used to make if you knew the secret password.
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Jul 9, 2018 03:38
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BattyKiara posted:Always ask old people about food. What they miss from the old days. And suddenly you have some old lady telling you about the time during WW2 when someone made a meat pie out of seagulls and an illegally caught fox. Or how much they miss a particular cocktail the local distiller used to make if you knew the secret password. Good lad. I work with the elderly around health and social care interventions, but damned if I am going to tell my 88 year old drinker or smoker to stop. At a certain point, ain't nothin' killing you faster than the slow march of time. People should enjoy what they can when life makes it difficult to do so.
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Jul 9, 2018 19:11
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After initial amounts of small-talk introductions I like to ask them about the favorite places they've visited.
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Jul 11, 2018 18:41
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If they still have their mind, ask about favorite music and cocktails. If they don't, ask about injuries and holiday recipes.
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Jul 17, 2018 13:38
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"Tell me about your life". Not really a question I guess.
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Jul 18, 2018 23:04
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“teach me how to dance”
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Jul 18, 2018 23:07
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Good thread. I’m going to spend part of this week volunteering with old people. Definitely going to try the places you’ve visited.
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Jul 23, 2018 09:32
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One interesting question I've heard is to ask them what their room was like as a kid. That's how one lady discovered that her mom never had a bedroom as a kid, and basically slept in a warm corner of the kitchen.
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Aug 5, 2018 22:01
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I tend to ask old people the culture they grew up in when they were in their 20s. I learned a lot about hippie culture from some ol' fellers at a bar once.
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Aug 7, 2018 04:15
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When did you first have running water? The answer may surprise you, my mom was toting buckets from the well until sometime in the Carter administration.
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Aug 7, 2018 21:00
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This can backfire. I asked my Mom (who is 71) what it was like during Watergate, if Trump compares at all. She said "I didn't really follow politics back then." (when she was 30!) HOOOWWWWWW Like, the President committed a bunch of crimes, then quit and got on a helicopter and left, how do you just tune out?
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Aug 12, 2018 02:13
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I don't keep up with Donald Trump's crimes. Some people just don't care about politics. And it was the seventies so maybe she was smoking too much marijuana to remember.
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Aug 12, 2018 05:13
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"why aren't you dead yet"
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Aug 13, 2018 20:12
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 19:55 |
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Elizabeth Mills posted:HOOOWWWWWW She probably knew what was happening on a very broad scale, but not the details or why it was happening.
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Aug 14, 2018 03:52
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