Beat Flamelurker on my first try, and now sexy women won't leave me alone

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CDHiggs: Dec 16, 2016; That night in Point Pleasant. Those red eyes Richard Gere would never forget.

I had heard so much about the vaunted Flamelurker, boss of Stonefang Tunnel 2-2 in Demons Souls on PS3, and was starting to feel intimidated on a level I had not felt since Ornstein and Smough, or Orphan of Kos...or fuckface Laurence. For those not in the know, Flamelurker has been consistently ranked one of the toughest bosses in the Soulsborne series, and is inarguably one of the toughest fights in the game, alongside Maneater, Penetrator and Old King Allant...or so I'm told.

So what happened?

Well, I still can't figure it out. I went in there with at least 32k souls on me, which was dumb--and a sin that these games rarely forgive, and only had a Bastard Sword +5 with one application of Sticky White Stuff. And I really wasn't doing much damage to him, because I could only get in one swipe at a time. The fight took somewhere around 10 minutes, and I was really just doing laps around one of the alcoves--the one with the skeletal remains that acts like a barrier.

Now, let me be clear. This wasn't cheesing. He never got stuck. No, he moved with ridiculous speed and spammed the gently caress out of his nuclear lava explosion attack. Also, at one point he pinned me against a wall and I somehow wound up inside of him, freeing myself with two giant swipes of my sword. If he had used his spam attack there, I would have been a dead man, no doubt about it.

But, to the victor go the spoils. And so it's me here today--not him.

And now, to deal with all of these women that have heard of my glory. Looks like I might have to muster up a few more applications of Sticky White Stuff, if you get my drift. Ha ha ha!