getting horny for sports

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > getting horny for sports

«‹›3 »

Bacon Taco: Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN

canyoneer posted:

responding to a craigslist ad for a discreet 3 on 3 men's basketball league and trying not to make eye contact with the other middle aged dads while you play

# ? Jul 27, 2018 02:23

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 02:12

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

coworker notices my cast from when I broke my wrist playing tennis over the weekend and asks about it

"i slipped in a mysterious puddle at an orgy full of wrinkly old swingers wearing bird masks", i stammer convincingly

# ? Jul 27, 2018 02:36

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

that one friend you had in middle school whose dad had pirated satellite tv with the sports channels

unscrambled!

# ? Jul 27, 2018 02:40

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

google THIS posted:

Interviewer: Why is it that you knelt during the national anthem?

Football Player: (remembering how they took a knee in an attempt conceal their massive pregame erection and subsequent premature two-point conversion) ...Police violence.

# ? Jul 27, 2018 17:48

little munchkin

Bob Costas and Al Michaels welcoming us to Sunday Night Football while sporting massive uncensored erections.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 27, 2018 19:39

little munchkin

google THIS posted:

Interviewer: Why is it that you knelt during the national anthem?

Football Player: (remembering how they took a knee in an attempt conceal their massive pregame erection and subsequent premature two-point conversion) ...Police violence.

lol

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 27, 2018 19:40

wearing a lampshade

google THIS posted:

Interviewer: Why is it that you knelt during the national anthem?

Football Player: (remembering how they took a knee in an attempt conceal their massive pregame erection and subsequent premature two-point conversion) ...Police violence.

# ? Jul 28, 2018 03:55

MockingQuantum

So hey I get it, people dont like looking at this stuff in mixed company, especially the retro stuff. I get that too, a lot of people in the 70s didnt shave their moustaches, which seems really unattractive to some people these days...

but I tell you what, some friends and I were at a guy's place for a party, and he had this big black and white pinup of Dr. J slam-dunking from the free throw line and it wasnt really weird at all, honestly it was kind of tasteful and artistic in that setting

_{_{_{thank you luvcow for the sig}}}

# ? Jul 28, 2018 05:46

MockingQuantum

sorry for the rough language in that description but I think if we dont talk about basketball openly and rely on euphemisms instead we're only making the kids learn it on the streets.

At least this way we can have a dialog with them about how to be safe when trying zone defense for the first time, or that they should always ask for consent before a full-court press

I mean, im not saying we need to explain what an alley-oop is or show high schoolers how to do a fadeaway jumper in the middle of their life skills classes, but I dont want to find out my kids are experimenting with pick and rolls on some concrete court in the park because I didnt take the time to talk to them about the risks

_{_{_{thank you luvcow for the sig}}}

# ? Jul 28, 2018 05:53

cda: by Hand Knit

Middle-schooler motioning casually to a bunch of different color jelly bands on her arms: the red ones are for free throws... the yellow ones are for assists... green ones are for rebounds...

Responsible adult: :stonk:

# ? Jul 28, 2018 13:16

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Me *at the top of my lungs*: TAKE ME OUT WITH A BALL GAG! DON'T TAKE IT OUT 'CAUSE I'M LOUD! BUY ME FRENCH TICKLERS AND ASSLESS CHAPS...

Intercom: Sir, this is a McDonald's drive thru

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jul 28, 2018 15:36

google THIS

A kid starts explaining the infield fly rule in graphic detail at the Thanksgiving table and everyone stares daggers at Uncle Larry.

# ? Jul 28, 2018 16:10

google THIS

Yes I go to Buffalo Wild Wings now and again but it's ONLY for the wings and beer, I swear.

# ? Jul 28, 2018 16:18

cda: by Hand Knit

I'm just subscribing to Sports Illustrated for the Swimsuit Issue.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 28, 2018 18:20

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

no surprise that big bocce was one of the initial investors in viagra

# ? Jul 28, 2018 18:55

barfdog

this is definitely not what i expected when i asked tiger to help me out with my golf swing

https://i.imgur.com/FLpAnfS.mp4

# ? Jul 28, 2018 20:37

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Signaling a guy in an airport bathroom, except you're doing those hand gestures pitchers give catchers

# ? Jul 29, 2018 05:13

cda: by Hand Knit

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Signaling a guy in an airport bathroom, except you're doing those hand gestures pitchers give catchers

# ? Jul 29, 2018 05:37

cda: by Hand Knit

His foot was over the line.

# ? Jul 29, 2018 05:37

City of Glompton

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Signaling a guy in an airport bathroom, except you're doing those hand gestures pitchers give catchers

# ? Jul 29, 2018 05:50

cda: by Hand Knit

If I'm on a date and my date asks me how many guys I've walked, I just get up and leave.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 29, 2018 05:59

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

cda posted:

His foot was over the line.

# ? Jul 29, 2018 07:05

google THIS

Me: What do you say we�have a little scrimmage tonight? (puts Jock Jams, Vol. 1 on the record player)

Her: Sure, just let me�slip into something more comfortable. (finishes seductively applying zinc oxide and gets out her shoulder pads)

# ? Jul 29, 2018 19:09

barfdog

actually listening to gachi while at the gym

https://i.imgur.com/FLpAnfS.mp4

# ? Jul 29, 2018 20:15

Bacon Taco: Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Signaling a guy in an airport bathroom, except you're doing those hand gestures pitchers give catchers

# ? Jul 29, 2018 20:54

alnilam

goldmine or are we going to taKe this into overtime

# ? Jul 30, 2018 03:53

Macnult

cda posted:

Middle-schooler motioning casually to a bunch of different color jelly bands on her arms: the red ones are for free throws... the yellow ones are for assists... green ones are for rebounds...

Responsible adult:

# ? Jul 30, 2018 05:21