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Howdy BYOBbers. I've been in and out lately but I finally have some time to sit down and give the forums a proper moment, and I want y'all's opinions on something SA-related that has, as crazy as it is to admit it, been on my mind a lot lately. Maybe more than it should? I don't know, I want to hear your thoughts. If you're looking for good-time comedy shenanigans I'm sure the next thread in the list will have you covered! This thread is about whether or not I should kill a fun thing. And it's a serious sticking point for me right now. Those of you who know me know I have an obsessive forums project that's been in and out of publication for a couple years now, basically as I've been able to squeeze in work on it between jobs and gigs and family, etc. You may have heard me complain or vent or cheerlead about it before- I'm kinda shameless that way. It'll see activity for a while then drop off, usual goon MO, really. But I've tried to give it my best and cranking out pixel-art panels of a weird webcomiccy game-like thing is always on my to-do list, I have many fond memories of sneaking in work on it at my day-job or staying up late to squeeze in a few more panels even though I've got to be up in a few hours. It's been a ton of fun for me and the source of a lot of inspiration and good times. But, as I said, I haven't had time for the forums other than jabs here or there on the way to something else, or waiting in line etc. And my poor little webcomiccy thing has had only one update in months. All year I've been worried, in the back of my mind, that last year's annual Christmas thing and this year's will be right next to each other in the chronology- wouldn't that be pathetic! But I told myself no, In the fall I'll have time to catch up, get some real work in on it and get it going again. It'll be okay, I'm not THAT slow. So now it's fall, and I've got my notes together and I've reworked all my templates and I'm finally making progress again. I read through the last few in-game "days", which were literal days when I started this thing. For 70 of the 118 "days" they really were days, I had a job that allowed me enough free time to do that and it was great. For a while. But the comic got more and more complex, the job deteriorated, and at that 70 day mark I had my first real nervous breakdown. It was not pretty. It cost me that job and I went on my first hiatus. Since then I don't work jobs like that one anymore, a lot has changed. I've allowed myself time off from projects that I usually pursuer obsessively, because I don't want to ever go back to being talked down by a police psychiatrist. No matter how much I think persistence is important, it's not THAT important. Still, even as I worked other jobs and even started a new career and took better care of myself, I always somehow found time for goblin sprites. Just never enough time. I have books of notes and sketches, so many ideas, but there's never enough time to get there. And my worries about having ridiculous slow-down apparent in the Christmas comics was realized when I went back to day 111 in my review and it dawned on me- I already HAD ridiculously close Christmas comics. Now it's going to be two years in a row! A comic that used to be literally daily now produces two "days" a year. That hit me hard. With all the other poo poo going on in my life right now, trying to build a career and a home and a family, is it really very smart to keep this clearly dragging thing that I do totally for free going? I have so many ideas for it, and I love the little community in it, but it all takes SO LONG to implement, and keeping track of the whole thing is just so monumental... But that's what I signed up for. I wanted to play in the realm of weird obsessive online game/comic/whatevertainment and I got exactly what I should expect from it: a lot of fun, a lot of stress, and thousands of hours of frustrating webdesign experience. Honestly I got my effort's worth. But that doesn't solve the question of what to do now. Until now my thought had been, I'll revamp the thing, I'll get back into regular production, and I'll finally sneak a Patreon into there somehow. I've been wanting to crowdsource on goblins for a while but SA's policies are strictly against it. I sold T-shirts for a while but nobody noticed. If I could make it pay somehow, even just a little bit, then maybe I could devote more time to it and less to hunting down freelance art jobs and hustling hours of day-work. I promised I'd finish this thing... But now I'm looking at those christmas comics in a row like that and the whole thing doesn't make sense anymore. I promised to finish sure, but am I even still really doing it, or do I just refuse to admit it's over? Part of me wants to admit it was fatally flawed from the start. Then the mad persistant artist in me rebels and says no, just work harder, keep the fire burning! All those notes and ideas! Who will win the goblin-town election!? What are those mystery slots in the inventory for!?!?! Laugh if you want but if I really want to be a nerdy artist/storyteller/gamedesigner guy, these are the kinds of projects I'm supposed to be attacking with gusto, right? How MUCH gusto? I even have another game planned- a space one where you RPG-stats plan a crew and explore new planets. It would NOT have a day-system or hunger/thirst or any of that poo poo that made goblins such a slog at times. Or is making it... I still haven't decided if... eek. Eek, friends. I don't know if I should pull the plug on this beloved psychic leach I've had clamped to my imagination for years. It's green and gross and superfun, but badly designed in many ways and hilariously slow to the point I don't know if I should just kill it and try again... or not... eek. Thoughts are welcome and appreciated. |
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Sep 8, 2018 17:48
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 23:40 |
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hi 
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Sep 8, 2018 18:37
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Hi Cubone. |
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Sep 8, 2018 19:01
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As a stranger and relatively new yobber who never plays video games, my opinion will be of paramount importance to you. Make a list of what you've learned from doing this project- both technical stuff and 'life lessons'. Tick all the items that will continue to be useful to you in your life and career. If the list is short- ditch the game. It's taking more than its giving and has been for too long. If the list is long- seriously consider still ditching the game. You've gained from it in terms of potential career and personal development and it hasn't been a waste of time but it's still holding you back. Remember that choosing to stop isn't an admission of failure. Having the strength of mind to make the choice is a positive. If it wasn't impacting on your day to day life so hard, I might say stick with it, but if you want a family then stability and relationships have to be the priority. Space game sounds like a good idea and if you do make it I promise to play it, even though I will be terrible at it and keep asking old person questions. (Apologies if you weren't expecting serioustalk from the mother of two talented but obsessive adults).
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Sep 8, 2018 19:25
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Not at all, Hockey Jockey, that's precisely what I'm looking for, thank you. And on the note of professional gains, I just polished up my resume and sent it, along with a cover letter linked to the comic, to Bethesda, one of the companies I started this whole thing to try and impress. I figure if I'm contemplating letting it pass then this is as complete as I'll be able to submit the thing. There's some catharsis in that. |
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Sep 8, 2018 20:27
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That is great  I feel very mean for not urging you to keep at it, especially as I have been writing a novel for literally loving years (who hasn't, right?) and have no plans to stop. But it doesn't affect other areas of my life (ha!) or work (haha!). It's obvious that you are talented but if you don't move towards something new, we'll be the only ones who ever know that!
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Sep 9, 2018 13:00
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Oh and  nervous breakdown buddy!
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Sep 9, 2018 13:04
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hockey jockey posted:Oh and Word! Okay so after a weekend of thinking about it I'm going to try and split the difference by getting to a good stopping point before this Christmas. As ridiculous as this thing is I just can't give up that easily. One more push! Thanks amigos, your feedback was just what I needed, wether I needed it or not. |
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Sep 10, 2018 19:01
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 23:40 |
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Sorry i didn't get to post yet but i think that's a good compromise that will leave you feeling more personally satisfied than dropping it entirely, imo, good luck! e: posting in a closed thread 
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Sep 10, 2018 21:33
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