|
People who post on the internet that pineapple doesn't belong on pizza have to eat a large ham and pineapple pizza from Dominos in 3 minutes or entire pineapples are shoved in their mouths and anuses simultaneously. Then they are put in a pizza oven for the full R rating. e: but the ham is pig anus chickie nugs for brekkie fucked around with this message at 04:26 on Sep 21, 2018 |
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 04:24
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 18, 2024 08:20 |
|
|
Someone who loves capitalism is dressed in a SCUBA suit and submerged in oil. The tanks of the SCUBA suit are full of concentrated cigarette smoke and the only way to escape is to enter their cable provider's information from memory to access new STARZ episodes online.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 04:26
|
|
|
A developer of freemium games is locked in a lucite box and has to beat one of his own games without access to paid content. Every time his character dies the machine drops the value of one of his microtransactions (in pennies) into the box.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 04:31
|
|
|
Guys who say "no fat chicks lol" are placed under a giant clear acrylic sheet upon which morbidly obese naked women are slowly lowered. His eyes are held open Clockwork Orange style and he must get an erection or be crushed. Then Jigsaw must walk through a liberal arts college campus wearing a straight jacket under a shirt that says "Fat chicks are gross" for the sin of fat shaming. chickie nugs for brekkie fucked around with this message at 04:44 on Sep 21, 2018 |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 04:39
|
|
|
pants that don't jerk you off
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 05:40
|
|
|
An anti-vaxx advocate is injected with autism serum and must correctly identify the emotions expressed in a series of photographs of human facial expressions. If they fail they are submerged in a liquid saturated with Ebola virus.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 08:09
|
|
|
The man who started the incest porn trend wakes up on a diving platform far above a pool with an inch of water in it. Painted on the bottom are the words "GENE POOL". Every half hour, an overweight, naked cousin climbs the ladder. They do not speak to him but if he moves they push him back to the edge. After 24 hours, there is not a single space where another human can fit onto the platform. And then he spies his beautiful cousin Katya, the one who caused the first awakenings in his loins, that he thought about all through his teenage years, who inspired his lifes work, walking purposefully toward the ladder...
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 08:36
|
|
|
You are in a dangerous place now, Jennifer from HR. Perhaps you should not have wasted two hours of my time lecturing me on how important inter-company relationships are just because David from Sales got offended because I said his wife looks like if Carrot Top got hit by a truck full of X Chromosomes, Jennifer. The fate of my 3.30pm poo poo was held in your hands, because of David. Now in turn, your fate shall be held by him. In front of you is a large buzzsaw. Soon it shall begin to spin, and if left, will be fired directly into your chest in 10 minutes from now. However, David is in the room next door, presented with a wall of 100 switches. One of those switches will turn off the saw, but the other 99 will instead drop the timer by 60 seconds. Also in that room is my 3.30pm poo poo which I ended up taking at home at 6.45pm like a god drat savage. Hidden in my poo poo is the number of the switch which is safe. However my diet of nothing but refried beans and barely-chewed chewing gum may slow down proceedings. This will teach you about shits, Jennifer. They are important. In this world of corporate domination, the at-work-poop is all the working man has, Jennifer. You shall learn the importance of this. If you survive, I also will not be coming in on Monday as I will have to clean this literal poo poo up.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 11:39
|
|
|
The White Dragon posted:jigsaw locks you in a room for playing too much video games. he says you have to play blast corps to you can go outside now to completion if you want to escape. there's a gun on the table and your time limit is until you kill yourself Want a cut of Saw with the blast crops soundtrack now.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 13:05
|
|
|
"Business man,you have spent your life doing business, but now the business will do you" the man is bent over by his briefcase and hosed by several important folders and documents. the only way for him to survive is if he takes his son to Chuck E cheese
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 13:59
|
|
|
The guy has a needlefish put in his urethra and he has to find a key in a lovely rear end in a top hat or it will swim up his jizz canal and eat his balls.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 14:14
|
|
|
Man must fish a key out of a nasty butthole, by eating it. There is also a bear trap involved idk? Looking for a talented butt haver for this one.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 14:17
|
|
|
A fellow who cheated with the wife of a man from Newfoundland has his penis put into a vice. He is inside a burning tool shed. He can either cut his own penis off or burn with the shed.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 14:28
|
|
|
A lazy, mutinous union man wakes up with no arms, next to his fat cat manager with no legs. In order to pass this test, they must "unionize" and run a maze while pulling various levers and turning door knobs...
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 14:57
|
|
|
Applewhite posted:An anti-vaxx advocate is injected with autism serum and must correctly identify the emotions expressed in a series of photographs of human facial expressions. If they fail they are submerged in a liquid saturated with Ebola virus. An anti-vaxxer is put in a room where they can see their child. They have to push 6 buttons, each allowing a doctor to administer a vaccine. If they don't they are given a punishment similar to the disease being prevented, legs broke for polio, belt sanders for rashes, burns for welts etc. If they fail to push over half the buttons they are trampled by a herd of cattle. The machine also bankrupts Gwyneth Paltrow regardless of the outcome. Also she has to eat a GMO apple.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 14:58
|
|
|
chickie nugs for brekkie posted:An anti-vaxxer is put in a room where they can see their child. They have to push 6 buttons, each allowing a doctor to administer a vaccine. If they don't they are given a punishment similar to the disease being prevented, legs broke for polio, belt sanders for rashes, burns for welts etc. If they fail to push over half the buttons they are trampled by a herd of cattle. The machine also bankrupts Gwyneth Paltrow regardless of the outcome. A guy who always insists on the gluten-free option is sealed in a metal cylinder surrounded by farting butts belonging to people who actually have celiac disease. These people have all been fed on a gluten-heavy diet of pizza and beer for 48 hours. The victim has to eat a whole basket of assorted baked goods before he is suffocated by their rancid farts. The key to get out is in one of the loaves or something.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 15:27
|
|
|
Applewhite posted:A guy who always insists on the gluten-free option is sealed in a metal cylinder surrounded by farting butts belonging to people who actually have celiac disease. These people have all been fed on a gluten-heavy diet of pizza and beer for 48 hours. The victim has to eat a whole basket of assorted baked goods before he is suffocated by their rancid farts. The key to get out is in one of the loaves or something. The sad thing is I have an ex who is perfect for this. She loudly complained to the restaurant staff every time there was an issue with gluten despite having no physical aversion to it. Also she tipped on the pre-tax total.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 16:18
|
|
|
"Hello Mitch. I want to play a game. You asked your friends to help you move and yet you did barely any of the work yourself. But now you won't be able to move at all, because I am going to shoot you with a gun and you'll die. How ironic. Sincerely, Jigsaw."
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2018 17:40
|
|
|
A Trump Supporter must unequivocally say “Nazis are bad” or he will be submerged in liquid concrete to form the base of a highway support pylon, thus becoming part of America’s infrastructure.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 01:49
|
|
|
An antifa activist is trapped in a room with an american neo-nazi that’s been locked inside one of those punching machines. He has to beat the nazi to death and at the end he will be awarded a blue ribbon.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 01:51
|
|
|
Applewhite is trapped in a room with a Trump supporter. If he can make it more than 5 minutes without squeeling like a baby he will be let go. Otherwise he will have a MAGA hat grafted onto his skull.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 01:59
|
|
|
Well well well, Agent Brown of the TSA, for years you’ve been confiscating nail clippers and shampoo bottles from innocent travelers because they were “potentially dangerous.” If those things are as dangerous as you say, you should have no problem using them to escape this specially modified X-ray machine before it cooks your bones. Safe travels!
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 02:30
|
|
|
A guy is strapped to some train tracks and he has to smoke a huge blunt or else he’ll be run over by a train.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 03:56
|
|
|
Zoo keepers go in the cages and the animals go on the outside. Maybe there's some irony or allegory in that. I dunno. gently caress
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 05:12
|
|
|
a man always cycles on the sidewalk. he wakes up in the back of a semi on a bicycle, with his feet pierced onto the pedals by metal stakes. a door opens ahead of him, leading down a ramp into oncoming traffic on a busy freeway. "aiden, i hear you like to weave between pedestrians while racing down the sidewalk on your bicycle. you avoid bike lanes so much i've become convinced that you take them for granted, so now, you will learn what happens when that lane is taken away. if you make it down the nearest off ramp, you will be free. and if you think you'll just wait for this truck to reach the next one, well, do mind the clock. i would start pedaling if i were you." a microdetonator implanted in his skull begins to count down
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 05:14
|
|
|
A guy is put in a centrifuge spinning at 1g. Every time he checks his phone during the series/movie I’m trying to show him, the centrifuge spins a little faster until the g-forces become lethal.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 10:07
|
|
|
The White Dragon posted:a man always cycles on the sidewalk. he wakes up in the back of a semi on a bicycle, with his feet pierced onto the pedals by metal stakes. a door opens ahead of him, leading down a ramp into oncoming traffic on a busy freeway. This one is too real
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 10:31
|
|
|
Applewhite posted:A guy is put in a centrifuge spinning at 1g. Every time he checks his phone during the series/movie I’m trying to show him, the centrifuge spins a little faster until the g-forces become lethal. Good idea but let's up the stakes and make it for a family during dinner at a restaurant.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 11:56
|
|
|
A man makes a poop outside and Jigsaw rubs his face in it
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 13:25
|
|
|
A white supremacist's blood is drained and literally diluted with the blood of a random race. Then it's pumped back in. Now they have to tell what kind of blood it is. If they get it wrong they're put in a gas chamber full of farts from every ethnicity. If they get it right they get a punch in the face.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 14:12
|
|
|
A cop stands in front of a bloodied bullet-holed wall, several corpses with broken bones and bullet wounds in various states of decay litter the place. After screaming for a while from the roof descends a 'bop it' kids toy suspended by a wire. SOME TIME LATER: AUuuugh! Goes the toy as the blood drains from the cops face, four spotlights flicking on simaltaniously as four AR-15's with drum clips descend on metal poles, the triggers pulled by servos as they lazily swivel back and forth in a deafening chorus of gunfire, the cop is struck by about fifteen of the thousands of rounds but it is enough to leave him lying amongst the bodies crying and making GBS threads as he dies. Than a door opens up and a cop walks in.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 14:40
|
|
|
A vegan awakes in a room full of steaks, rotisserie chickens, and a whole roasted hog. Beef and chicken stock are on tap. The vegan has a week to produce 50 pounds of excrement into a garbage can, or else the room will fill with potting soil. If any non-poo based substance is placed in the can, a live hog is dropped on the vegan. An alcoholic wakes in a 20' x 20' watertight room filled three inches deep with everclear. There is a urinal on the wall. If the all of the everclear isn't flushed in 24 hours, lit road flares will be dropped from the ceiling.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2018 17:08
|
|
|
the overwatch team wake up in a warehouse, and have to make a see-saw balance for 20 seconds or they all die
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2018 13:08
|
|
|
The creators of the Emoji Movie are sealed in a concrete vault deep beneath the earth. Every time anyone on earth uses an emoji, a nailgun discharges into part of their body.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2018 03:22
|
|
|
Father Wendigo posted:An alcoholic wakes in a 20' x 20' watertight room filled three inches deep with everclear. There is a urinal on the wall. If the all of the everclear isn't flushed in 24 hours, lit road flares will be dropped from the ceiling. Is the solution to this trap to plug up the urinal and flush it a whole bunch until the room floods with 12" or more of water, diluting the Everclear, thus extinguishing the flares when they drop?
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2018 03:38
|
|
|
u fart u die
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2018 16:06
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 18, 2024 08:20 |
|
|
Applewhite posted:The guy is at the bottom of a spike pit and the pit will fill up with salt unless he proves to Jigsaw that he's gay. First post I read after checking out the “Why is it funny to say “I’m gay”” thread. Classic.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2018 17:26
|
|
