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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > lessons i've learned from my coconut wives
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Stooge


 Me: you know, darling, when I first met you I thought you were a real hardass.

*Coconut sits there blankly*

Me: But once I got to know you, I found that beneath that hard exterior, is a soft, sensitive, milky, caring woman. I love you. Happy anniversary.



* # ? Sep 29, 2018 10:04
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# ? Apr 26, 2024 01:27
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bird.

google THIS posted:

Me: (sitting on the curb next to a cop holding an ice pack over my eye as my coconut wife gets led away in handcuffs) It's not her fault. She just...needs help.

i lol'd a little too much when i read this

* # ? Sep 29, 2018 13:39
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Macnult

BrownianMotion posted:

the waitress sets a fresh coconut on my table "you're too young for me." the coconut is silent. reflecting for a moment, i say "i'm telling you, i've seen ones like you in my past and i'm dangerous." a bus-boy bumps the table and the coconut rolls towards me. "you like dangerous boys?"
* # ? Sep 30, 2018 05:17
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kalel

 I try to forgive her for the abuse. She had ptsd from when her ex got split in half and turned into a coconut bikini

* # ? Oct 1, 2018 17:40
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lmbo calrissian

i'm into fashion
men are my passion

BrownianMotion posted:

the waitress sets a fresh coconut on my table "you're too young for me." the coconut is silent. reflecting for a moment, i say "i'm telling you, i've seen ones like you in my past and i'm dangerous." a bus-boy bumps the table and the coconut rolls towards me. "you like dangerous boys?"

SciFiDownBeat posted:

I try to forgive her for the abuse. She had ptsd from when her ex got split in half and turned into a coconut bikini
* # ? Oct 1, 2018 18:08
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Nosfereefer

IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM
 working at a men's clinic in the inner city, i see a lot of young men with obvious coconut-caused injuries. it's always "i fell in the fruit aisle" or some other excuse

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

* # ? Oct 1, 2018 19:19
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lmbo calrissian

i'm into fashion
men are my passion
https://twitter.com/ned_donovan/status/1046767105687920640

* # ? Oct 2, 2018 21:49
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# ? Apr 26, 2024 01:27
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FutonForensic

lmbo calrissian posted:

https://twitter.com/ned_donovan/status/1046767105687920640

The security guard gestures at my bulbous crotch. "hehe. you smuggling a coconut betwixt your loins, or are you just happy to see me?" i whip out my SPAS-12. "blow up my wife, and I'll blow you away"


* # ? Oct 2, 2018 22:20
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > lessons i've learned from my coconut wives
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