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Squashing Machine posted:My job pays well, but it's stressful and my boss is tough on me. I'm going to cash out my retirement savings and become a digital nomad in Thailand! These blogs say you can live there for like $200 a month, and I can make that easy once my travel lifestyle Instagram gets rolling. What's a visa I've heard you need a visa to get to Thailand, I've got one from my local bank and one that's got no balance so shoudl be good right?
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Nov 27, 2018 17:05
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Okay, I have 17 minutes until my wife and kids get home. I've drawn all the blinds. Time to put on my oculus headset and jerk off to the weirdest porn I can find. Oh man these headphones are amazing, I can't hear anything except for the porn!
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Nov 27, 2018 17:11
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You're 16 now boys. I remember at your age I was interested in reefer and actually experimented a little. I think it's better for you to try these things at home instead of out on the street. Haha, dad's pretty cool right? Just don't tell mom. Now, the guy didn't have any weed but I bought something called 'PCP'.
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Nov 27, 2018 17:44
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Wow, it snowed a lot last night. Guess it's time to bust out the ol' snow shovel; even though I'm 70 years old, live alone, am mildly overweight and have heart problems, I'm sure I'll have no problem blasting through all of this in one go.
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Nov 27, 2018 17:53
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Mozi posted:Wow, it snowed a lot last night. Guess it's time to bust out the ol' snow shovel; even though I'm 70 years old, live alone, am mildly overweight and have heart problems, I'm sure I'll have no problem blasting through all of this in one go. Ha, look at that old fart shoveling snow. Or rather, I would, except I'm blasting down this badly plowed, icy rural road at well over the posted speed limit, in a rusty old beater, with bald tires, and I haven't had my brakes checked in forever. Plus I'm fiddling with the radio while trying to light a cigarette at the same time.
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Nov 27, 2018 18:15
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Mozi posted:Wow, it snowed a lot last night. Guess it's time to bust out the ol' snow shovel; even though I'm 70 years old, live alone, am mildly overweight and have heart problems, I'm sure I'll have no problem blasting through all of this in one go. Haha, lol at the grandpa across the street shoveling snow. Me and my friends are having a great time fighting with snowballs in our school yard instead of working. Sure the playground guards keep yelling at us to stay out of the road but cars have to slow down by the school so nothing bad will happen.
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Nov 27, 2018 18:20
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I could so hit the 3rd rail from here You're the pussy Drunkenly unzips self
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Nov 27, 2018 19:00
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Mozi posted:Wow, it snowed a lot last night. Guess it's time to bust out the ol' snow shovel; even though I'm 70 years old, live alone, am mildly overweight and have heart problems, I'm sure I'll have no problem blasting through all of this in one go. Pfft, look at that old fart shoveling this driveway and sidewalk. He should get a gas-powered snow blower like me, makes things easier and a hell of a lot faster. Oops! there is a chunk of ice lodged in there, no need to turn this thing off, I can just quickly grab it and dislodge these metal augers before they re-engage.
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Nov 27, 2018 19:07
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Blistex posted:Pfft, look at that old fart shoveling this driveway and sidewalk. He should get a gas-powered snow blower like me, makes things easier and a hell of a lot faster. Oops! there is a chunk of ice lodged in there, no need to turn this thing off, I can just quickly grab it and dislodge these metal augers before they re-engage. You forgot you broke the little shovel they give you but you can use your hands right.. the auger's not turned on or anything
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Nov 27, 2018 19:28
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tater_salad posted:You forgot you broke the little shovel they give you but you can use your hands right.. the auger's not turned on or anything That little hunk of plastic? I couldn't figure out what it was for and threw it out after a season. Stuff that confuses me makes me mad.
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Nov 27, 2018 19:37
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I’m moving to Oregon! I love it out there! Where? Uh, I only know Portland, but I assume the rest of the State is like that, right? It’s probably just like that show Portlandia! So quirky and weird and fun! Young people with absolutely no marketable skills like me make it out there all the time! Later, comfortable East Coast life! Hellooooo PNW!!!
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Nov 27, 2018 19:38
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Mozi posted:Wow, it snowed a lot last night. Guess it's time to bust out the ol' snow shovel; even though I'm 70 years old, live alone, am mildly overweight and have heart problems, I'm sure I'll have no problem blasting through all of this in one go. Probably gonna be me someday, tbh.
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Nov 28, 2018 02:42
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Sydney Bottocks posted:Ha, look at that old fart shoveling snow. Or rather, I would, except I'm blasting down this badly plowed, icy rural road at well over the posted speed limit, in a rusty old beater, with bald tires, and I haven't had my brakes checked in forever. Plus I'm fiddling with the radio while trying to light a cigarette at the same time. *snort* look at crazy driver, swerving all over the road. I bet he's gonna crash. I know! I'll drive as close as I can while filming him, and add some witty commentary, I bet it'll go viral! I just need to hold my phone out the window to get a clear picture, and I'd better stick my head out too so the mic can pick up my clever quotes. Hmm, might need to adjust the white balance. OOPS nearly dropped my coffee! You kids, keep it down back there, your very own school bus driver's gonna be a youtube sensation!!
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Nov 28, 2018 06:21
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Good game guys. Alright, who wants to go check out the caves?
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Nov 28, 2018 06:52
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Listen my brain is different and special. With the right mixture of drugs I can fix everything. Well that wasn't the right one, better try it again just slightly different.
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Nov 28, 2018 08:47
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Streak posted:Good game guys. Alright, who wants to go check out the caves? You know what would help here.. my new mini sub! That will earn me some popularity while those pedos recue the trapped.... kids?.... dog?.. baby?
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Nov 28, 2018 12:55
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jokes posted:Listen my brain is different and special. With the right mixture of drugs I can fix everything. I'm feeling better, maybe I should stop taking the medication.
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Nov 28, 2018 16:11
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I have a pretty well-documented history of personality disorder and mental illness but, yeah, I think I'm mentally fit to organize this viral takedown campaign against an African warlord. I don't anticipate the surge of public attention and pressure causing me to tear off all my clothes and expose my butthole to the police and world in general. Let's get out there and end this thing once and for all
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Nov 28, 2018 17:21
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We need to get married or break up? Hmm, I don't really want to get married, but on the other hand being single sounds like a real drag. Okay then, I guess
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Nov 28, 2018 21:57
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Dr. Video Games 0135 posted:We need to get married or break up? Hmm, I don't really want to get married, but on the other hand being single sounds like a real drag. Okay then, I guess Don't worry, having a kid will save your marriage
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Nov 29, 2018 03:40
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COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:Don't worry, having a kid will save your marriage Crap, that didn't work the first time. In fact, it made things worse. Let's try it again.
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Nov 29, 2018 17:54
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Select class: [ ] Barbarian [ ] Thief [ ] Wizard [X] Unemployed
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Nov 29, 2018 18:20
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Oscar Wild posted:Crap, that didn't work the first time. In fact, it made things worse. Let's try it again. You know... if we have the older kid take care of the younger one, it's like we're halving our workload!
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Nov 29, 2018 19:37
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Mozi posted:You know... if we have the older kid take care of the younger one, it's like we're halving our workload! Hey friend, looking to monetize your offspring? Try becoming a parenting blogger! Post pictures of your child’s everyday life to social media and espouse your (very well founded) parenting advice and stories!!! You’ll make hundreds and there is absolutely no way this will screw up your kid’s development/future!
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Nov 29, 2018 19:53
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Oh boy, my transatlantic flight is about to arrive! Time to post a bunch of opinions about politics and race that I've been working on to social media right before I'm cut off from the internet for 14 hours. I'm really looking forward to still being employed when I get off the plane
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Nov 29, 2018 20:45
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Oscar Wild posted:Crap, that didn't work the first time. In fact, it made things worse. Let's try it again. Going from one to two is a much smaller step than going from zero to one 
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Nov 29, 2018 20:59
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I have a job interview in under an hour, at place that's 30 mins away without traffic, but my dungeon queue just popped. It'll probably be fine.
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Nov 29, 2018 21:50
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Is there any course of action that isn't sabotaging your own life?
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Nov 29, 2018 23:33
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Sentient Data posted:Going from one to two is a much smaller step than going from zero to one But what if I unregulated, third world fertility treatments in order to beat the record for multiple birth my second pregnancy? Eight has already been done, so maybe I can go from having one kid to 10 in one step!!!
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Nov 30, 2018 00:33
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Jon Joe posted:Is there any course of action that isn't sabotaging your own life? Planning an elaborate, decades long revenge scheme that culminates with you telling the man as life drains from his eyes that it was you all along who ruined his family and fortune for only putting 9 mcnuggets in the box
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Nov 30, 2018 00:41
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Barudak posted:Planning an elaborate, decades long revenge scheme that culminates with you telling the man as life drains from his eyes that it was you all along who ruined his family and fortune for only putting 9 mcnuggets in the box Turns out, the nugget box was rigged from the start.
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Nov 30, 2018 00:43
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This Trump guy is an idiot but he makes liberals so mad that I'm going to support him ironically. [later] Trump is a six dimensional chess master. MAGA!
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Nov 30, 2018 01:01
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Jon Joe posted:Is there any course of action that isn't sabotaging your own life? no regardless of what you do every second your body absorbs more carcinogens and inches closer to death
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Nov 30, 2018 01:03
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I'm feeling kind of down about the way my life is turning out. Hmm, perhaps a few hours of browsing the painstakingly-curated, artifice-ridden facebook pages of old acquaintences will convince me I'm doing okay?
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Nov 30, 2018 12:11
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Tree Bucket posted:I'm feeling kind of down about the way my life is turning out. Hmm, perhaps a few hours of browsing the painstakingly-curated, artifice-ridden facebook pages of old acquaintences will convince me I'm doing okay? Better look up some ex's while you're at it! Especially if you have one you feel is the "one that got away"!
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Nov 30, 2018 14:11
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Obsidianheart posted:Better look up some ex's while you're at it! Especially if you have one you feel is the "one that got away"! I'll do that every now & then just to see who's aging well & what bullet I dodged.
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Dec 1, 2018 22:00
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Time to vent on social media again about how annoying kids are these days and how I'm going to get wasted this weekend. <is a teacher>
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Dec 1, 2018 23:59
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