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SeXReX
Jan 9, 2009

I drink, mostly.
And get mad at people on the internet


:emptyquote:
Boss sent me a text after he transferred areas that sounded like an ex trying to hook back up trying to get me to come with him.

Good thing i got that kind of text trying to get one of his employees to come with him because he got fired for sending a dickpic lmap

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Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

My boss when I worked in retail once called an employee into his office to ask her out and then started purposefully giving her poo poo hours when she turned him down to try to get her to quit. She ended up reporting him to head office and he got fired. A couple of months later the new manager who was mates with him let him come back as a Christmas temp but when the area manager found out a week later they fired him again and the new manager got demoted.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
... a good ending? i'm shocked

Killswitch
Feb 25, 2009
Just last week I was chatting to my boss, explaining that I'm jokingly kinda in the doghouse with the wife since my 3 year old said "gently caress" in front of grandma and ratted me out as who he heard it from.

My boss follows this up with "yea I'm im the doghouse too, but different reasons" with this fourlorned look on his face, and left it at that. WTF dude? You can't just drop a conversation like that.

deported to Canada
Jun 1, 2006

I have an awful boss that flaps like a 10 stone budgie. Is constantly panicking about everything and keeps loving even simple things up due to the fact that he can't take a moment to take a step back and look at problems.

The worst thing is that when you help by explaining something, he will then go around and tell others what wisdom you have shared like he's the first person that ever figured it out and talk to them like they are children. Which pisses everyone off.

He also has a habit of phoning me at ridiculous hours and ask if you are at work, "Why no boss I'm not at work at 11pm on a Saturday, can this not wait until Monday?".

scott zoloft
Dec 7, 2015

yeah same
Made my old boss cry several times for reasons ranging from wearing shorts to plain ol gross and outwardly disrespectful insubordination

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

Kenny - Extreme alcoholic, I worked for him right as it was starting to affect his job. Once he showed up for work on a Friday at about 11 am wearing jeans and a t shirt. He told everybody he thought it was Saturday, then he disappeared in the bathroom for an hour and didn't come back from his lunch break. One time he hosed up majorly (I'm talking like a million dollar screwup) and blamed the warehousing department since he was worried it would jeopardize a promotion. The next day he came in to work and said somebody slashed his tires in the parking lot.

Katie - Seemed pretty cool but one time I overheard a phone conversation with her husband that said "The baby almost got into the cocaine, we need to start locking it up."

Mike - Seemed like a douche for the 3 months I worked for him. I got an offer from another department and took it, and when I told him I was moving he got really sad and kept asking if it was something he did. I told him no, it was just about money and better hours, and he offered me a raise to stay. I told him I couldn't do it and he got really down on himself and kept saying stuff like "Not again" and "I don't think I'm cut out for management here." Years later he quit the corporate ratrace and started a bar so I think he made the right decision.

Schmeichy
Apr 22, 2007

2spooky4u


Smellrose

scott zoloft posted:

Made my old boss cry several times for reasons ranging from wearing shorts to plain ol gross and outwardly disrespectful insubordination

To be fair, if you cry because your employee is wearing shorts you deserve gross insubordination.

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
One of my ex bosses loved to gently caress with scammers that would call and try to remote into your PC for nefarious purposes. One time he acted like he got a bad pop-up and was whispering to the guy "oh no my boss can't find out can you help me?" And when the guy started remoting in my boss muted him and was like "Quickly! Look up a nasty image!" I couldn't find goatse for some reason so I just got an image of a guy sucking his own cock. The guy remotes into the PC and my boss cuts off his control so he has to look at this picture of a guy sucking his own dick for like 5 mins until he gets pissed off and my boss dressed him down for being a piece of poo poo scammer.

Kosmo Gallion
Sep 13, 2013
My most recent ex boss (female) had an affair with my male best friend who is married to a female colleague of mine. Then my boss seduced a female friend of mine that I introduced to the same job.

One of the other bosses at the same place impregnated two different coworkers and a third boss left his wife to have a child with another female boss.

I work in a really horny environment apparently.

Hyrax Attack!
Jan 13, 2009

We demand to be taken seriously

Manager #1:
Dept regularly received e-mails with 2mb report attachments. As these went back nearly a decade, they added up to a lot of data. Manager refused to let us move these out of our group inbox to a shared drive, or a portable hard drive, or anything that might mean spending two minutes learning a new file path. Result was that Outlook would take two minutes to go between folders, and our IT dept thought we were idiots. After a year of this hell, manager shrugged and let us move them and it was fixed in seconds.

Spent most of the work day managing an extensive house remodel. Used company fax machine to feud with contractors, so we'd pick up faxes that we thought were from vendors, see a roofer was threatening to put a lien on manager's house, and awkwardly put it on their desk. Eventually they were promoted out of the dept.

Manager #2:
Has been at megacorp forever so was in high pay tier, didn't know anything about our work but micromanaged anyway. Boomer with luxury house in elite neighborhood, and would call you to their desk and make you wait for them to refresh their house's security camera feeds before looking at you, "just in case" (they never had any break-ins or even a pet).

When on three week Italian vacation would send dept update e-mails complaining about their tour group. Upon return, began meetings complaining about long shipping times on wine from Sicily.

CRIP EATIN BREAD
Jun 24, 2002

Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T



Soiled Meat
my boss owns and he throws heaps of money at me but sometimes he can be a bit eccentric.

he's a notoriously bad driver, every time we go on a business trip he rents a car, and asks me to fire up google maps/waze/whatever and find a route to a location when he's driving. every time he immediately says "that doesnt sound right" and starts making turns on his own and we always have to retrace our steps and always add an extra 20 minutes onto a drive. then sometimes he'll turn onto a one-way road in the wrong direction.

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

a bone to pick posted:

One of my ex bosses loved to gently caress with scammers that would call and try to remote into your PC for nefarious purposes. One time he acted like he got a bad pop-up and was whispering to the guy "oh no my boss can't find out can you help me?" And when the guy started remoting in my boss muted him and was like "Quickly! Look up a nasty image!" I couldn't find goatse for some reason so I just got an image of a guy sucking his own cock. The guy remotes into the PC and my boss cuts off his control so he has to look at this picture of a guy sucking his own dick for like 5 mins until he gets pissed off and my boss dressed him down for being a piece of poo poo scammer.

This is pretty awesome.

ncumbered_by_idgits
Sep 20, 2008

CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:

my boss owns and he throws heaps of money at me but sometimes he can be a bit eccentric.

he's a notoriously bad driver, every time we go on a business trip he rents a car, and asks me to fire up google maps/waze/whatever and find a route to a location when he's driving. every time he immediately says "that doesnt sound right" and starts making turns on his own and we always have to retrace our steps and always add an extra 20 minutes onto a drive. then sometimes he'll turn onto a one-way road in the wrong direction.

Lol, my boss did something like that once. Driving back to O'Hare and come up behind stopped traffic on the freeway. Aw gently caress no we ain't waiting for that and down through the grass we went, across an island and onto an adjacent road. Scared me half to death.

TheMostFrench
Jul 12, 2009

Stop for me, it's the claw!



Breitbart Is Rightbart posted:

I work in a really horny environment apparently.

Got any openings? :grin:

Biohazard
Apr 17, 2002

The last company i worked for was owned by the two fairly intelligent and talented guys with no social skills whatsoever. I work in architecture, so about 50-60% of the people in the field are basically autistic anyway, but one of these guys in particular was really miserable to work for.

On a typical project, you'd come on board because another person had quit, no work had been done on it. So in 5 weeks, working 60 hours a week, you'd get done what you should have had 10 weeks and another 3 employees to do. At the end of it, he'd bitch that it wasn't the way he'd have done it. Then, if anything went wrong in the field, rather than owning up to not managing his firm competently, he'd have meetings with the client behind your back and throw you under the bus. I know this because a client called me off hours and was like "yeah, if your boss calls me again and tries to blame everything on you, were going to fire his rear end, so don't take it personally if that happens". He then would act lovely for weeks because it was really obvious that the clients liked me but despised him.

All of this was done with the promise of quarterly bonuses based on profit. Profits never seemed to justify bonuses, and finally at a meeting someone kind of lost it and asked how they weren't making any money when most of us were working 10-20 hours a week for free.

After that, a lot of people just started quitting, and when about half the firm had cycled out of there, I got the hell out.

My current bosses seem alright, even if half of them are still asbergery as gently caress.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
When I was 19 I worked at GameStop and hosed my boss. Her tits were massive.






It's all been downhill from there. :smith:

Mimesweeper
Mar 11, 2009

Smellrose
I had a boss that would schedule people who'd give him a cut of their paycheck over people who wouldn't, regardless of competence. He laid me off when I told him to go gently caress himself about it, so I got a better job. I heard later he got fired when he got caught smoking crack on a job site.

Geoj
May 28, 2008

BITTER POOR PERSON
My most recent former employer pulled the "you can't quit because you're fired" routine when I put in my two weeks so I filed for unemployment.

My ex-boss there spent several months and likely several thousand dollars attempting to appeal my claim, including hiring an attorney to represent them before an appeals board. And lost anyways, so in addition to their legal costs their UI premiums went up.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

Who What Now posted:

When I was 19 I worked at GameStop and hosed my boss. Her tits were massive.

Hell yeah

Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT
My best boss paid his art team fairly competitively (a loving rarity in game studios) and would throw crazy lavish Christmas parties; renting out whole bars, free drinks all night, tables and tables of food, party buses with drinks and gourmet cookies and cupcakes to get us all there. I wish we hadn't gotten sold out to the greedy fucks who shut down our studio to send to slave labor rates in eastern Europe. It was a good job.

Worst bosses were husband and wife pair who frequently drove their employees to mental breakdowns, were constantly hiring and firing stupid starry-eyed fresh grads like me, and had no clue what they were doing in general. Our games were constantly going through bizarre changes that confused us and customers alike. Paid us all peanuts in one of the most expensive cities in America to where even with our combined wages my boyfriend and I struggled to rent a studio apartment. Fired my boyfriend but kept me around for some reason so all the money stress was transferred to me. When the axe finally came down on my neck too, I packed up all my poo poo in a box and went out and sat down on a curb and cried for like half an hour, though it was mostly relief.

Krogort
Oct 27, 2013
Previous boss was super smart and a pretty cool, if distant bloke.

New boss is super nice but is dumb as heck, just repeat buzzword and worst of all, has no spine. He agree with the last person he speak to, which make it a pain in the rear end to work with him.

poisonpill
Nov 8, 2009

The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.


I’ve never had a boss that actually wants to make a decision

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

my new boss is a jolly bespectacled dad with square glasses and a chuckly-laugh. he has a really nice disposition and all of his employees like and respect him.

i'm fairly sure he murders sex workers in his spare time. no one can be that sanguine all the time

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
My old boss bought me some kickass custom legos of a black ops humvee with a grenade launcher. Miss that dude.

kazr
Jan 28, 2005

I have 4 managers and they're all pretty hands off which is great for my work but sucks cuz the lazy employees get to run rough shod loving up everyone else. Not really sure why there's 4 managers for the job of not managing employees but I guess that's one of life's mysteries

One of them told me I could execute any decision I wanted and they'd back me up even if they didn't agree with it lol

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

In 2005ish I had a job at a computer warehouse where we would service computers and stuff. (Installing anti-viruses and running scans to get rid of porn viruses all day)

My boss there used to always eat raw carrots because he claims Arnold Schwarzenegger said it’s the key to muscular body in some magazine. He would walk around the place holding the carrot between his index and middle finger like a cigar.

He would also make you sit there for hours on end separating blank discs from their cases so he could sell them separately.

Nasty Old Randy
Sep 5, 2017

Im Nasty

Krogort posted:


New boss is super nice but is dumb as heck, has no spine.

Didn't know you worked for lowtax

TheMostFrench
Jul 12, 2009

Stop for me, it's the claw!



TheMostFrench posted:

My current boss manages IT in a warehousing company, he's a pretty friendly guy and good at what he does. I got introduced to him by my brother who plays at the same football club as him, so he was happy to give me a job straight away without an interview. I am basically his assistant and help by doing all the little jobs like password resets, printer cartridge changes, and stock inventory.

Bumping this thread years later because I was cleaning out my subscribed threads - it might be interesting now that corona has changed the employment landscape. My previous boss has changed employers, and now I work from home a lot with more sys admin style responsibilities. I don't actually know exactly who my boss is right now, there are other people in my department who are more senior but no one has specifically communicated to me that anyone is in charge.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

My current boss got the job in January of 2019 and I still haven't met him.

We were supposed to have a group meeting a few weeks after he started, but there was a big snowstorm so he cancelled it. Then there were like 6 other times I was supposed to meet him, but things would come up on his end.

At this point I don't think he exists. I get emails from him. I've talked to him on the phone. Other people have mentioned seeing him years ago, but nobody has seen him since he got this job.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
I think she joined a cult lmao

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

My boss was married to her own, direct boss.

She decided that she no longer wanted men to work for her. Like, at all. And began firing us all, one by one.
Her boss, and husband, was also the boss of most of the company including HR. You could not refute the firing because to 'go up the chain' meant eventually appealing to the woman's own husband "Hey, your wife is firing me unfairly, what do you think about that, yes or no?"

There were no men directly under her employ within 3-4 months of when I left the company. None.


Eventually, the board of directors fired her, superseding her husband.
When he found out, he marched in and quit.

When she found out he quit, he came back in, and pleaded for his job back, lol.

Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 17:39 on Sep 9, 2020

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
You go girl!

Ibexaz
Jul 23, 2013

The faces he makes while posting are inexcusable! When he writes a post his face is like a troll double checking bones to see if there's any meat left! When I post I look like a peacock softly kissing a rose! Didn't his parents provide him with a posting mirror to practice forums faces growing up?
Our new CEO gutted my team and fired a good chunk of knowledgeable people through covid meaning we're overworked and have no one to ask questions to which rules. He also still has someone else changing his powerpoint slides for him even though he's working from home

empty sea
Jul 17, 2011

gonna saddle my seahorse and float out to the sunset
My last boss was an insane woman. I worked for 5 years for her and I am entirely confident that she had a legit mental illness that her husband ignored. Also at least 2 of her kids had some kind of thing wrong with them because they were social wrecks but that was also ignored.

It was a vet clinic where the husband was the doctor and she "ran the business". By running the business, I mean she was a crazy person who demanded us to do things, then denied it, then bitched because we didn't do the thing correctly. Also she would randomly come in and run things in a totally different way than we were "trained" while insisting it was better and that we were stupid for doing it the way we'd done it all along. Then if we tried to do it that new way, she would blow up on us for doing it the wrong way because that's not how we "were trained". Basically she was abusive as gently caress, just constantly gas-lighting us.

We'd have weekly hour long meetings about how we were poo poo employees. Then get bitched at because we were behind on the schedule. Sometimes she'd deliberately short-staff us, then act like we were stupid and incompetent because we couldn't do 2-3 jobs at the same loving time. Like we were poo poo because 2 people couldn't walk, feed and walk 30 dogs in the same time period as 3 or 4 people.

The schedule was in 15 min blocks, which if you know anything about veterinary medicine, is insane. Half of the tests we do take 10 minutes. But that 15 min block was to include a physical, the vet's discussion with the owner, vaccines, heartworm and fecal tests and writing a rabies tag while putting vitals into the computer. I'd have to stand in an exam room and hear pages over my walky-talky about appointments arriving and my co-worker needing help in the backhouse constantly. And I was somehow expected to be in 2-3 places at once-- always helping the doctor, yet also getting all my poo poo done for this appointment, yet also helping in backhouse and bringing back the next appointment and god loving forbid she call in something from the grooming room.

Because yeah, this crazy woman was a groomer and we'd on average do 10-16 grooms per weekday from 8am to 1 pm and heaven help the backhouse person, I have no idea how or why they did it. There were days when I was supposed to be in surgery monitoring for the doctor but I was constantly running off to do vaccines and heartworm/fecal tests for the dogs being groomed. And I'd have like a minute to prepare and she'd be bitching that I wasn't already ready for her like...it takes time to pull up vaccines and do tests and then after "surgery time" I'd have to do the exams with the doctor for the animals I already vaccinated and tested like what is this backwards poo poo and what the gently caress, appointments are already rolling in and it's time for the noon walk for the boarders and gently caress, just kill me now...

I stayed for too long because I loved my co-workers. But that business and those people are crazy as gently caress. My boss made me take a 3 day trip to NC with her to see her retirement home and I fantasized about killing her and throwing her body in the river because how would they know? How would they know?

The final straw for me was when they had their adult sons work as backhouse and they'd leave animals just with puddles and lakes of piss or piles of poo poo in their kennels/rooms because they were lazy as gently caress. Or they refused to trim nails in the baths so I had to go and do it no matter what else I was doing at the time. Her being crazy was one thing, but watching the actual level of care for the animals drop to below zero? gently caress all of that.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
If your boss isn't at least a little bit crazy or emotionally abusive, you should quit. You aren't getting the right experience.

twistedmentat
Nov 21, 2003

Its my party
and I'll die if
I want to
Phone posting right now but the store I work at just got rid of the terrible owners we had.

The last few months of them owning the store they just stopped coming in.

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Zombiepop
Mar 30, 2010
My last boss was a italian socialist, he was very good. Extremly nice and a good leader.

My current boss is a nice old lady who lets customers steal if they look like they need it, she seems like a good boss too.
And she seems to dislike the police which is always nice.

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