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*my window rolls down to reveal me wearing a novelty pig nose* Cop: I can see you’re a fellow police officer. I’ll let you off with a warning this time
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Feb 20, 2019 09:33
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Cop: sir do you know how fast you were going? Me: I know how fast I’m going now: 0 miles per hour! *Cop looks around in confusion, suddenly unable to know my position now that he knows my speed*
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Feb 20, 2019 09:57
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Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: 🏎🚨🚨🚔🐖😂😂😂
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Feb 20, 2019 10:00
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Me, knocking on the window of a parked cop car: “license and registration please” Cop: “wha?” Me: “Yeah, how do YOU like it?”
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Feb 20, 2019 10:04
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*Screaming out of car window without slowing, spittle flying all over the highway* "If I go slower than 60 miles this car will blow!"
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Feb 20, 2019 11:35
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Applewhite posted:Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
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Feb 20, 2019 12:01
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Dad?
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Feb 20, 2019 12:06
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do you know of the untold pleasures that can be earned by your grundle alone
Dolphin fucked around with this message at 12:39 on Feb 20, 2019 |
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Feb 20, 2019 12:24
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I'm required by law to inform you that *points to dilznik* is a registered lethal weapon.
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Feb 20, 2019 17:08
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Hey officer!!! Suck on this!!!
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Feb 20, 2019 17:26
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I'm Batman.
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Feb 20, 2019 17:53
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Applewhite posted:Cop: sir do you know how fast you were going? explain
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Feb 20, 2019 20:37
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The Bananana posted:explain given the quantum mechanical nature of subatomic matter, you cannot measure both the location (collapse the waveform to a point) and velocity (frequency of the waveform) at the same time, as taking the measurement affects the results
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Feb 20, 2019 20:48
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If you don't stop, the cops will never catch up to you according to Zeno's paradox. So have no fear and keep driving.
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Feb 20, 2019 21:17
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Mozi posted:given the quantum mechanical nature of subatomic matter, you cannot measure both the location (collapse the waveform to a point) and velocity (frequency of the waveform) at the same time, as taking the measurement affects the results thank you
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Feb 21, 2019 04:17
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in the case of a macroscopic automobile you can definitely bound the value for the speed from above and below with sufficient precision to determine whether you were over the limit and furthermore
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Feb 21, 2019 04:28
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42069 BITCH
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Feb 21, 2019 04:36
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Let me just get my license *reaches into pocket, pulls out middle finger*
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Feb 21, 2019 05:21
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how did you get here?
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Feb 21, 2019 05:22
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COP: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: How long were you following me? COP: Do you know how fast you were going? Me: Not fast enough
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Feb 21, 2019 05:45
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snack eater posted:how to not get your rear end kicked by the police this is loving gross victim blaming poo poo and chris rock should be ashamed of making it
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Feb 21, 2019 06:03
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thats right after white media lost dave chappelle so they were mining the black comedic depths
marijuanamancer fucked around with this message at 06:13 on Feb 21, 2019 |
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Feb 21, 2019 06:06
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Applewhite posted:The car window rolls down to reveal the car is empty https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG7IGiBJU4c
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Feb 21, 2019 06:09
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"Look, I wanted to get home before the mushrooms kicked in."
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Feb 22, 2019 02:27
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film the cops boys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6Hkc9VGiXQ
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Feb 22, 2019 02:30
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I am a Moorish American! This is Morrocco!
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Feb 22, 2019 04:30
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This situation is literally impossible thanks to the blue stripe flag sticker occupying the half of the tailgate of my lifted F350 that’s not covered by the huge TRUMP - PENCE sticker.
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Feb 22, 2019 05:20
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"I could do ten years standing on my dick."
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Feb 22, 2019 06:22
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Im gay 
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Feb 22, 2019 06:55
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It's 2019 where's Robocop
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Feb 22, 2019 08:26
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Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? *Cop's iphone buzzes* It's an airdrop from me: 
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Feb 22, 2019 09:55
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violent sex idiot posted:this is loving gross victim blaming poo poo and chris rock should be ashamed of making it Thanks for your opinion, whitey 
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Feb 22, 2019 09:55
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"I made it to my driveway, driveway is Goals!"
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Feb 22, 2019 09:59
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Handcuffs? Sure, but first we must agree on a safeword.
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Feb 22, 2019 13:19
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"You say I did, I don't think I did I remember being somewhere And for all you out there Who blame me still You can't prove it, and you never will Dental records don't lie Buried deep stays buried still"
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Feb 25, 2019 04:21
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Is ur puddy wet?
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Feb 25, 2019 05:01
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Colonel Cancer posted:If you don't stop, the cops will never catch up to you according to Zeno's paradox. So have no fear and keep driving. What about Xenu's paradox? How does that figure into it?
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Feb 25, 2019 05:02
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I consent
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Feb 25, 2019 05:06
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how can you be sure your radar gun wasn't the one traveling at 140 miles an hour
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Feb 25, 2019 05:08
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 20:33 |
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Cop over loud speaker: “Get out of the car hands where I can see them!!! NOW” Purp: “Just a loving minute, trying to arm my suicide vest!!!”
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Feb 25, 2019 05:21
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