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- Permashorts Mavis (even in winter!) - Endless Mike Holstrom - Jenny, who has like, a thousand followers - Never-Tardy Travis - Dan whose Dad gets the Porno Cinemax for Free - Ole Uncle Nintendo - Kung Fu Daniel (eater of pies, defeater of Normal Daniel) - Funny Movie Quotes Dude - Sews Her Own Clothes Miranda - Charles Barkley (anime) - Bradley, the Scholarship Chess Champion - Utena Sappho, World's Most Actual Sword Lesbian |
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Jun 4, 2019 20:30
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 08:06 |
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"oh, is it cold" permashorts mavis smirked, over his massive loving parka. "i wouldn't know. ive got two gameboys in my cargo shorts. so i can trade pokemon. with myself."
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Jun 4, 2019 20:31
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Item #: MS-943 Class: 7th Description: MS-943 is a middle-schooler by the name of ████ ███████. MS-943 possesses the ability to create "Hand Vaginas," exact replicas of human female genitalia, with the participation of another student. the Hand Vagina inevitably has a traumatic effect on the participant, because how could it not? that's what a vagina looks like?! oh my god ████ ███████, you're so loving nasty
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Jun 4, 2019 22:30
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FutonForensic posted:Item #: MS-943 |
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Jun 5, 2019 02:27
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Item #: MS-274 Class: Study hall Description: MS-274, quantum superpositionally dubbed "Chevin," is capable of belching the entire alphabet on command, with as few as three pauses to raise a finger, say "Hold up," and look like he's about to puke for a few seconds. When he begins this ritual, all activity must cease and all personnel are required to observe with rapt attention, even if they've already seen it a hundred times or secretly didn't find it very impressive to begin with, until the all-clear is given. |
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Jun 5, 2019 03:25
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:"oh, is it cold" permashorts mavis smirked, over his massive loving parka. "i wouldn't know. ive got two gameboys in my cargo shorts. so i can trade pokemon. with myself." FutonForensic posted:Item #: MS-943 |
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Jun 5, 2019 09:51
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FutonForensic posted:Item #: MS-943 |
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Jun 5, 2019 10:49
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:- Never-Tardy Travis Item #: MS-738 Class: Mrs. Retworth's Description: Subject MS-738 has always been present at the start of every class. At first this ability went unnoticed until one day when he was supposed to be home sick from school with a bad case of [REDACTED]. To test this supposed power, we sent several Class D bullies to stuff him in his locker.
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Jun 5, 2019 12:04
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Item #: MS-493 Class: Keter Description: MS-493, commonly known as ████████ █████, is a schoolyard bully who possesses an incredible power. When MS-439 grabs the arm of another student, that student will begin to punch themselves over and over. MS-439 then proceeds to chant "Stop hitting yourself," which seems to be a form of mind control based on reverse psychology, as his intent seems to be watching his victims injure themselves over and over for his own amusement. Containment has thus far been easy, his poor academic performance has held him back a couple years already.
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Jun 5, 2019 12:20
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super sweet best pal posted:Item #: MS-493
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Jun 5, 2019 14:51
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Item Number: MS-720 Class: Computer Description Subject "The ████████ster" succeeded in bringing terror to Senorita Gonzales's afternoon spanish class by rigging all the computers to play Irrational Exhuberance at max volume at the same time. Apprehension was frusturated by The ████████ster's ability to phase into and out of the real world via teleprojecting themselves through high speed 56K modems. crimes |
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Jun 6, 2019 05:21
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Item #: MS-800815 Class: Detention Description: MS-800815 has been isolated in a Secret Detention facility for attempting to smuggle forbidden contraband into the boy's locker room. Multiple shoeboxes stuffed full of Forest Porn were located under the subject's enormous, salt-stained trenchcoat, along with a katana, wakizashi, and onahole. Subject has thus far resisted all forms of advanced interrogation, including repeating the same question over and over in a high pitched voice, and scratching forks against corningware. Given 800815's reluctance to divulge the source of this Forest Porn we can assume that htey are in fact "Forest Acporns," seeds which give rise to boner-inducing Porn Forests. crimes |
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Jun 6, 2019 05:25
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:Item #: MS-800815
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Jun 6, 2019 05:32
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Item #: MS-666 Class: Varied event Special Containment Procedures: Those experiencing MS-666 are asked to bury their face in their hands or cry in their room. Description: MS-666 is a memetic event that attaches itself to the mind of a student, laying dormant for years after its initial occurrence, then manifesting at random times in the victim's life, always causing them to have feelings of intense shame whenever it is remembered. MS-666 is difficult to pinpoint, always establishing itself in a random way for each victim. For example, it could manifest as a pattern of behavior that only seems regrettable later like wearing a tacky article of clothing or a love of a lovely band like [REDACTED] the victim thought was cool at the time, or it could be a sudden event the victim first feels shame over as soon as it happens, such as an awkward mishap in the cafeteria or accidentally calling the teacher "███".
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Jun 6, 2019 07:00
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Classification: Eugene Classification: Kiefer |
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Jun 6, 2019 17:12
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joke_explainer posted:Classification: Eugene 
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Jun 7, 2019 01:15
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joke_explainer posted:Classification: Eugene explain |
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Jun 7, 2019 09:17
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Eddie Vanhalen gibbering madly as the smoke monster from Lost emerges from a stall in the boy's room. Sammy holds aloft an eldrich tome, his eyes bleeding.
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Jun 7, 2019 14:54
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Item# 00-840-42 Class: Found Object [Unknown] Description █████, ███████ and ██████ has all skipped class to look at something quote: "loving sweet" - sic that █████ found in the forest. Wasn't invited because I was told: "It's not for loving loosers like you" while ██████ made an L shaped hand sign. |
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Jun 8, 2019 19:39
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Object Class: Early Bloomer The EB class describes a particularly powerful and advanced group of MS anomalies that often require near high school level containment procedures. Notable examples include MS-28 ("Tampon Betty"), MS-80085 ("Tiffany, Who Already Wears a C-cup"), MS-111 ("He Who Shaves With a Real Razor"), MS-8455 ("Todd, Whose Voice Has Already Changed"), and MS-69-LOL ("Jason, Who Carries a Condom in His Wallet That May or May Not Be a Bunch of Trident Wrappers Scotch Taped Together Because He Never Lets Anyone Get a Good Look At It"). |
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Jun 8, 2019 21:08
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Item #: MS-833 Class: Extracurricular Containment: **PENDING CAPTURE** Every attempt to discern MS-833's identity so far has failed. Not a trace of her is to be found anywhere after the event, not even that girl who looks like her that always manages to be onsite at every MS-26 event has seen her. No capture attempt should be made while she is engaged with the MS-26 as she is the only effective means of containing them and everyone who has encountered an MS-26 knows the damage they could potentially cause. Description: MS-833 is an unknown student with the power to [REDACTED], [REDACTED] AND [REDACTED]. She is instinctively drawn to students transforming into MS-26 and reverts them back after fighting them. Shouting her catchphrase, [DATA EXPUNGED], she attacks the MS-26 until it is weakened to the point she can use her [REDACTED] to finish it off and revert it back to a normal student. Former MS-26 show no memory of having been an MS-26 after being defeated by MS-833. Update: A new MS-833 has appeared. MS-833-2 assists the original MS-833-1 in weakening an MS-26 before MS-833-1 defeats it. MS-833-2 has powers themed around [REDACTED] that have aided MS-833-1 significantly. The addition of another MS-833 has not made it any easier to locate traces of them after the battle; that girl who's always onsite after the battle and her new friend still haven't ever seen them either.
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Jun 9, 2019 07:59
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Hugh Malone posted:explain Oh, there's classifications on SCP's like 'Euclid' or 'Keter' that denote their relative existential threat levels. I thought it would be appropriate if we replaced it with rowdy middle school boy names. |
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Jun 9, 2019 09:15
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joke_explainer posted:Oh, there's classifications on SCP's like 'Euclid' or 'Keter' that denote their relative existential threat levels. I thought it would be appropriate if we replaced it with rowdy middle school boy names. ah, thanks! google THIS posted:Object Class: Early Bloomer |
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Jun 9, 2019 10:37
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Item #: MS-420 Class: The Stoner Kids Description: MS-420 is an aggrigate group of sexually indeterminate individuals in oversized, stinking sweatshirts and knit caps. Containment: The Stoner Kids are best treated not as a distinct population, but a semisentient infection whose control over subjects waxes and wanes due to environmental influence. Stoners can be converted through the use of focused social intervention, but individuals most at-risk for infection are those with weak social support systems. In fact, Stoner infection can be the first outward sign of severe domestic disturbances at home. Conversion is not impossible, and full eradication can be achieved with sufficent intervention. crimes |
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Jun 9, 2019 17:33
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super sweet best pal posted:Item #: MS-833 love that goat sig
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Jun 15, 2019 00:31
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bmp |
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Jun 24, 2019 17:44
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Item #: MS-FLOSS Class: Digital Containment: FLOSS cannot exist more than 30 minutes from a digital device running Fortnite Description: Appears to be a small wiry child, similar in general appearance to Dewey from the hit TV show Malcom, Whompst Is In The Middle. FLOSS is never still, always rotating his arms in place over his hips in a roughly circular manner Update: Mostly harmless. Don't let FLOSS get anywhere near MS-DABBING. crimes |
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Jun 24, 2019 18:27
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Item #: MS-6453 Class: Thaumilf Description: MS-6453, commonly known as ████ ████████, has a smokin' hot mom. I mean, seriously. He's so lucky, except maybe kind of not, because, you know, it's his mom, but at least he gets to live with her. Containment: 6453 is useful for containing other, predominantly male MS objects due to their constantly being willing to come over for pool parties and sleepovers, though his mom is starting to get tired of having to wash the sheets every time someone stays over. MS-749 is rumored to have snuck and witnessed one of 6453's mom's bras, and it had like, so may D's. 6453 occasionally curses his own existence, but his life is nothing compared to MS-7453, who has a hot older sister. |
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Jun 24, 2019 23:57
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Item #: MS-064 Class: Awesome Containment: MS-064 is contained at my house, in my room. My uncle secured it for me when he went to [REDACTED] on a business trip. I can't bring it to school, if I lose it he's gonna get pissed, ok? You have to come over and see it. I can play it, and you can watch. Description: MS-064 is a copy of █████ ██ for the ████████ ██ game system, but it's a really rare prototype where █████ has a gun, and when he █████ on ██████, BLOOD comes out. and it has a nude cheat for ████████ █████ so you can see her █████. It's SO cool. Update: Sorry, Mom found it and transferred it to a different facility. While you're at my house though do you want to ride bikes? 
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Jun 27, 2019 14:59
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Turpitude II posted:Item #: MS-064 lol classic |
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Jun 27, 2019 21:14
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Item #: MS-1997 Class: Boomer Containment: Agents are to avoid calling MS-1997 'dad rock' in the presence of an adult, even though it totally is. Just pretend to like it, please, Mom got really depressed last time. Description: MS-1997 is the album "The ██████ and the █████", by the band "███ ████████". |
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Feb 13, 2024 16:36
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spitball straw but the spitballs pass right through everyone and just end up on ceiling even if you aimed down |
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Feb 13, 2024 17:34
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 08:06 |
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Item #: KG-9822 Class: Math Description: Reports of an anomalous adolescent male named ████ ████, designated KG-9822, continue to circulate ████ ████████ Middle School in Grand Rapids, Michigan. According to several eyewitness accounts, KG-9822 is able to take any object, word, or glance and make it perverted. Related objects from ████ ████████ Middle School currently held in containment include two pomegranates, a personal-sized milk carton, a calculator, and the word "it."
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Feb 14, 2024 05:06
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