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Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

dr.acula posted:

What about spam texts? Is there any danger in replying with pictures of my diarrhea?

If you do this and include the word yes they'll register for health insurance in your name and buy viagra with your money! !!

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ADBOT LOVES YOU

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



You're lucky OP, I get multiple spam messages in my inbox every day, and the weird thing is, half of them are stupidly lazy "Re: Free money click HERE [random jumble of letters and numbers]" kinda poo poo that I'd think would be the most basic "this is a spam" examples you'd use on day 1 of training your filter.

The other half are vaguely more legit, from either "real" or real-sounding companies, but usually just have the entire message as a graphic that links to Extremely Suspicious Site Dot Com, e.g.:

:heysexy:

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015

:hellyeah::histdowns:

etkolev@mail.bg posted:


Life on the edge of the cliff

مرحبا

Read this message carefully, since it can be the last in your life.

People are by nature envious. Given the fact of successful development of your business, people (your contestant ) paid me 30,000 British Pound for your cutted ears.

It's not the first time I've done this kind of work, but I'm already tired of these envious bastards and your life will be the last one I'll take or will not do, it's up to you.

Under normal circumstances, I would just do the work for which I was paid without going into the details, but I'm going to get away from it and go on a long-awaited vacation.

You have 2 versions for deciding this problem.

Admit my proposal or deny.

You pay me 5 thousand British Pound for safe your life and you receive all the information about the customer with whom you apply to the police and thus you save your life and the lives of your relatives.

The second option is you ignore my proposal and turn to the cops, but by the same token you will only postpone your judgment day, even if I can not do the work, then another person will do it, not within a week and say in a month or half a year, but order for your head will be fulfilled sooner or later.

Thus, you will be afraid of every rustle, walk around looking and thinking that you are being persecuted.

If you want such a life, your choice, but if I were you, I would think very well.

Tickets to ***** have been taken for July 28, and you have exactly 3 days to transfer money to an anonymous account bitcoin 1CPgiLZjLPdsgdR5d3zJupqKRoPRL5bpJ.

The last time I can check it 28th before flying to you.

In the event of receiving a reward, I will not come to take your life, but will also pass all the information about your customer (Let the bastards get what they deserve) and you can protect yourself, otherwise you know the consequences.

The well-being of the future life depends on your choice.

Think about your life, you family.

على كل مشيئة الله

-------------------------------------
Mail.BG: Безплатен e-mail адрес. Най-добрите характеристики на българския пазар - 30 GB пощенска кутия, 1 GB прикрепен файл, безплатен POP3, мобилна версия и други.

Loved explaining to people at work that no one is actually coming to cut their ears off.

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

Xaintrailles posted:

Loved explaining to people at work that no one is actually coming to cut their ears off.

When did you receive it? He might still be coming for your ears bro

magic cactus
Aug 3, 2019

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

Xaintrailles posted:

Loved explaining to people at work that no one is actually coming to cut their ears off.

Imagine four lives at the edge of a cliff.

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015

:hellyeah::histdowns:
It was a year ago. I can finally take this helmet off.

The best part is that the bit about a successful business was the biggest spam giveaway.

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

Xaintrailles posted:

It was a year ago. I can finally take this helmet off.

The best part is that the bit about a successful business was the biggest spam giveaway.

This guy is serious, he knows that your cutted ears are worth 30,000 british pounds and left his bitcoin address for you as you think about your life and you family while afraid of every rustle, walk around looking and thinking that you are being persecuted!

Aishlinn
Mar 31, 2011

This might hurt a bit..


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QdPW8JrYzQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4Uc-cztsJo


These are both very relevant and pretty great.

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010

RepeatingMeme posted:

i dont want any big idiots like the GBS crowd to follow any no-no links or emails. But I've also been pretty lazy with it so be careful out there

Literally anyone with an email address already gets these

Glomar Explorer
Apr 27, 2008

I drive a BBW posted:

I am well aware imgay42069 is one of your passphrases. Lets get right to purpose. Not one person has paid me to check about you. You don't know me and you are probably wondering why you are getting this e-mail?

Let me tell you, i installed a software on the xxx streaming (porn) site and you know what, you visited this website to have fun (you know what i mean). When you were watching videos, your web browser started out operating as a RDP having a keylogger which gave me access to your display screen and cam. after that, my software program collected your complete contacts from your Messenger, FB, and e-mail . after that i made a video. First part shows the video you were viewing (you have a good taste hahah), and next part shows the view of your cam, and its u.

There are only 2 possibilities. Let us go through the choices in aspects:

1st option is to dismiss this email. in this situation, i most certainly will send your actual video clip to every single one of your personal contacts and imagine regarding the humiliation you can get. and definitely should you be in a committed relationship, just how this will affect?

in the second place choice is to give me $998. Lets call it a donation. as a result, i will instantly discard your video footage. You could keep daily life like this never occurred and you would never hear back again from me.

You will make the payment via Bi‌tco‌in (if you do not know this, search for 'how to buy b‌itcoi‌n' in Google search engine).

B‌T‌C‌ ad‌dre‌ss to send to:

[CaSe sensitive so copy and paste it]

if you are looking at going to the cops, very well, this message cannot be traced back to me. I have taken care of my moves. i am not trying to charge you so much, i would like to be rewarded. e-mail if i don't get the ‌bi‌tco‌in‌, i will send out your video recording to all of your contacts including relatives, colleagues, and many others. Nonetheless, if i receive the payment, i will destroy the video immediately. If you want proof, reply with Yes! then i definitely will send your video to your 12 friends. it's a non:negotiable offer, and thus don't waste my time and yours by replying to this e-mail.
I received a shitload of these about a year ago. My guy wanted a whole lot more cash though, and he also informed me that he would know that I had read his e-mail, as he had cleverly planted a special pixel in the text.

drat those spying and prying pixels.

pixaal
Jan 8, 2004

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


A pixel is markering slang for a single pixel image that is transparent that you have a script create one per email you send you.

Then since it's on your server and unique if anyone loads that image the email was read. This is why most email clients don't load images by default.

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!

ElectricSheep posted:

first you need to know that I think your search history is very interesting! What would your family say I wonder if you appeared in a video of masturbation? You have 48 hours to respond with the transmission of $500 transferrable in Bitcoin to my account and this is your LAST CHANCE

Finally, My masterpiece will be seen

RepeatingMeme
Dec 27, 2012


this place is not a place of honor

no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here

nothing valued is here

what is here was dangerous and repulsive to us

this place is best shunned and left uninhabited


advanced statsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC
My goon friend

20 Blunts
Jan 21, 2017
i watch over an email that is publicly shared and advertised, have some great spam

magic cactus
Aug 3, 2019

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

I feel like the two subject lines there are linked together somehow....

:tinfoil:

other people
Jun 27, 2004
Associate Christ

pixaal posted:

A pixel is markering slang for a single pixel image that is transparent that you have a script create one per email you send you.

Then since it's on your server and unique if anyone loads that image the email was read. This is why most email clients don't load images by default.

Oh really forum's poster PIXAAL???

Glomar Explorer
Apr 27, 2008

pixaal posted:

A pixel is markering slang for a single pixel image that is transparent that you have a script create one per email you send you.

Then since it's on your server and unique if anyone loads that image the email was read. This is why most email clients don't load images by default.

And as this spam guy uses SPECIAL pixels, I guess I'm kinda hosed.

Suspect A
Jan 1, 2015

Nap Ghost
In regards to that lovely ad up right now.

Ralph Crammed In
May 11, 2007

Let's get clean and smart


I sure got a lot of women that want to show me their privates.

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
The main one I keep seeing come back is one from apple about my invoice or verifying a charge, with the email having a red ! With an attachment. They get auto deleted after a few hours but it keeps coming back in variations. I didn't start seeing these until around the same time my coworkers at my last job started targeting me thanks to a nasty gossip of a bully :tinfoil:

Tarquinn
Jul 3, 2007

I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you
my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal.
Hell Gem
I used to get penis enlargement pills spam.
That has stopped. Apparently word of my giant penis has spread far enough. 😎

Tarquinn
Jul 3, 2007

I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you
my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal.
Hell Gem

Tarquinn posted:

I used to get penis enlargement pills spam.
That has stopped. Apparently word of my giant penis has spread far enough. 😎

The word was he is a giant dick. The meaning just got kinda lost in translation. :v:

Grevling
Dec 18, 2016

Yes, I remember them

I'm not even American

markovmodelcitizen
May 17, 2008

We all Post Down Here...
Oven Wrangler
A couple of years ago, there were a couple of months during which the majority of my spam was trying to sell me one of two things: lemon trees or replacement windows.

I still don't know how either would make my penis bigger, though.

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

markovmodelcitizen posted:

A couple of years ago, there were a couple of months during which the majority of my spam was trying to sell me one of two things: lemon trees or replacement windows.

I still don't know how either would make my penis bigger, though.

You'll need the replacement windows after the lemon stealing whores break in.

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
HOW DO THEY KNOW I HAVE A SMALL PENIS!?

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost


:ohdear:

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend
Remember Sam Esmail?

nut
Jul 30, 2019

i don't op, but my 10 closest friends who protected me from a life of virginity sure do

pixaal
Jan 8, 2004

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


markovmodelcitizen posted:

A couple of years ago, there were a couple of months during which the majority of my spam was trying to sell me one of two things: lemon trees or replacement windows.

I still don't know how either would make my penis bigger, though.

Well you use the tree to throw a lemon party.

The windows is likely a typo of widows, which should be self explanatory.

RepeatingMeme
Dec 27, 2012


this place is not a place of honor

no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here

nothing valued is here

what is here was dangerous and repulsive to us

this place is best shunned and left uninhabited


unpacked robinhood
Feb 18, 2013

by Fluffdaddy
Subject: Attn, Pls

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

markovmodelcitizen
May 17, 2008

We all Post Down Here...
Oven Wrangler
Combining the subjects of the spam I received today, it almost reads like song lyrics:

Hey, it seems to me you do not mind good company?
can we schedule an appointment for the weekend?
i don't know where i am
Let's get a little closer tonight
Can you meet me at the weekend?

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