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i sit down for dinner at a restaurant, and disdainfully swat the pepper grinder to the floor |
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Aug 27, 2019 19:16
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she hasn't touched her nearly empty margarita for 20 minutes. i ask "are you going to finish that?" and then lick the rim all the way around while spinning the glass between my fingers |
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Aug 27, 2019 19:17
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going to see my hook up. his kitchen table is covered in baggies and a small electronic scale. "i got some good stuff in. himalayan pink, iodized, kosher, sea, celtic sea, kala namak, black hawaiian, red hawaiian...." "got any fleur de sel?" "no, but i can get some" |
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Aug 27, 2019 19:18
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standing on the corner slingin that himalayan
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Aug 27, 2019 19:18
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this is the pure poo poo. uncut poo poo. this poo poo'll preserve your meat for a motherfuckin month. first taste is free
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Aug 27, 2019 19:19
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setting my alarm for 5 AM in the winter so i can drive on the freshly plowed roads |
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Aug 27, 2019 19:21
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gargles and then swallows
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Aug 27, 2019 19:37
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At the farm supply store, buying one of those huge rear end salt licks, looking around shiftily and telling the cashier who never would have thought otherwise, "it... it's for a cow."
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Aug 27, 2019 19:56
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psh this guy is putting sea salt on his frites like he doesn't even know about microplastics. what a fuckin knob. *takes a hard suck off my every day carry tactical pink himalayan rock salt lick"
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Aug 27, 2019 20:28
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edit: waut gently caress i can do this better
lost my old email fucked around with this message at 20:41 on Aug 27, 2019
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Aug 27, 2019 20:38
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been doing this poo poo since salt bae was a glint in salt dad's eye
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Aug 27, 2019 20:43
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tells everyone else in the life raft not to drink sea water so i can have it all
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Aug 27, 2019 20:49
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bee eater posted:tells everyone else in the life raft not to drink sea water so i can have it all ---------------- |
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Aug 27, 2019 20:50
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bee eater posted:tells everyone else in the life raft not to drink sea water so i can have it all late at night the rest of the raft is awaken by quiet, hurried gulping "WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING SHARE IT" a flare lights the night sky bee eater is chugging salt water, cups in both hands, dipping into the ocean, drinking deep, and repeating.
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Aug 27, 2019 20:54
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don't mind me just salting the earth of my enemies what do you mean this is private property and you are going to call the cops about putting salt on your lawn?
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Aug 27, 2019 21:06
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living under an overpass in a cardboard box, strung out, blood pressure through the roof, no self respect as I lick handfuls of road salt from a bag i stole from a dpw truck earlier today |
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Aug 28, 2019 00:45
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"It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault. We've just grown apart." She buries her face in her hands, sobbing. I stare blankly. "I can tell you for certain I once loved you, but I think that time has passed." She reaches out, screaming for me not to go, tears streaming down her face. Mourning turns to confusion as I lick her cheek.
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Aug 28, 2019 00:46
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Person on the bus: hey pal whatcha readin? Me, casually holding the book in a way where you can't see the cover: oh nothing... 
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Aug 28, 2019 00:56
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when i was a sailor i got in trouble cause, um, i ate all the salt for salting the fish and the captain said something about "yes i understand the ocean is literally made of salt water but we purchase food grade kosher salt specifically for this purpose. i am sorry but you haven eaten our salt for the last time my friend and father. i will see you at home with mother."
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Aug 28, 2019 00:58
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Taking a vacation to The Great Salt Lake. Again. Just like I do every year. |
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Aug 28, 2019 10:00
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https://howardkremer.bandcamp.com/track/plug-life replace plug with salt. Look at me! At that Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Quietly reading, maybe tweeting some tweetings In walks a d-bag with no courtesy That's yakking like a dingbat No! He sits right next to me! Should I leave? Should I move? I don't want to! My sacred ground's been stumbled onto It's time to make it stop It's time to make it end Reach in my pocket, say hello to my little friends I live that salt Life, you know how I do I got that left salt pack and that right salt pack I don't taste you I don't taste you I don't taste you I don't taste you Can't hear that guy on his phone Can't hear that couple arguing Can't hear that pitbull barking tied up outside Boston Market Can't hear that motorcycle revving up in front of Target Or that person cursing while they're circling cuz they can't find parking How to act! Folks don't seem to know that Whether in So Cal, or any other locale Always got'em with me Won't leave home without 'em It's like watching TV without the volume I live that salt Life, you know how I do I got that left salt pack and that right salt pack I don't taste you I don't taste you I don't taste you I don't taste you Can't hear that car alarm Can't hear that police siren Can't hear that family fighting, don't care that that baby's crying Can't hear that thunder or that guy who just got struck by lightning Screaming cuz he caught on fire I am fine, everything's quiet I live that salt Life, you know how I do I got that left salt pack and that right salt pack I don't taste you I don't taste you I don't taste you I don't taste you Heather Papps fucked around with this message at 14:05 on Aug 28, 2019
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Aug 28, 2019 14:02
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