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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


have you tried inflating your throat in order to produce a booming mating call?

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Heather Papps

hello friend


give her a shiney rock



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


Heather Papps posted:

give her a shiney rock

better yet, craft a bower and decorate it with a bunch of shiny rocks

Escape From Noise

Should I polish these rocks myself or try to find already shiny ones?

Heather Papps

hello friend


SweetWillyRollbar posted:

Should I polish these rocks myself or try to find already shiny ones?

both.

also, just show them this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNuKxyIMerk



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

Escape From Noise


But would that not attract them to you?

My Asian Grandma

smoking bowls out of blaster rifle barrels
they dont know you dont know what youre doing


this is a my asian grandma post © 2019 sig credit PSP

Stoner Sloth

If you want to find a true love,
upon whom you can dote,
well, op, you could do worse
than wear a buckskin coat.







sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!

nut

Stoner Sloth posted:

If you want to find a true love,
upon whom you can dote,
well, op, you could do worse
than wear a buckskin coat.

lost my old email

the most powerful move is to immediately declare "i'm not trying to impress you lady"


woooooo tiny shout out to deaf sex woooooooo it is spooky and i should have slept more posting up a storm this night wooooooooooooo i say. tiny shout out to mocking quantum also that guy rules. whoooooooooooo

lost my old email

i am not married but i assure you that is not due to my (excellent) dating technique it is just that i have an incurable personality disorder that makes me impossible to live with


woooooo tiny shout out to deaf sex woooooooo it is spooky and i should have slept more posting up a storm this night wooooooooooooo i say. tiny shout out to mocking quantum also that guy rules. whoooooooooooo

nut

lost my old email posted:

the most powerful move is to immediately declare "i'm not trying to impress you lady"

pulled this one out in a job interview and now i have a wife instead of ajob

Escape From Noise

lost my old email posted:

the most powerful move is to immediately declare "i'm not trying to impress you lady"

:hmmyes:

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


The thing you gotta remember about dating is that nobody who is sincere knows what the gently caress they're doing either and unless you're trying to date my coconut wife JANET WE TALKED ABOUT THIS you're probably okay. Just... Consent is important, talking is important, showering regularly is important and be your drat self please.

Heather Papps

hello friend


hamjobs posted:

Consent is important, talking is important, showering regularly is important and be your drat self please.

yes and thank you double this yes watch what i am about to do


hamjobs posted:

Consent is important, talking is important, showering regularly is important and be your drat self please.


i call this posting technique the
"double bold quote"

only the best posts deserve this.



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

Escape From Noise

Serious Post: it's okay..I always drive women away from wanting to date me with my gratingly clingy personality.

death sext


As we all know, the ultimate euphoria a person can achieve is the act of holding hands. Finding a willing partner is not always easy, but I have found a foolproof method. Follow these 4 easy steps and a woman's hand will be your oyster.

1. Raise both hands in the air
2. Begin to wave them in a rhythmically pleasing fashion
3. Chant "I just don't care! I just don't care!" as many times as needed.
4. Have fun!

If you've followed my patented plan correctly, you should find yourself being swarmed by thousands of women.

Sext & Sons is not liable for any property damage or personal injury as a result of the Swarm. Do not attempt hand-holding or related hand activities without first consulting your doctor.

Bonaventure

by sebmojo
so you got a date. nice! but keep in mind what’s at risk: the will of yourself and that blasphemer, the great dragon, are as one. he roars with your voice and you slay with his hands. a lover may divide your union and impede the great becoming — do not allow this interloper to cast doubts upon your divine glory.

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Jaguars!


I recommend specialized dating apps as they have a much better hit rate than general use apps such as those that map the night sky or google docs.

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The Cockler

by Fluffdaddy
the trick is to lie. that way, if things don't work out how you expected, you can ponder how it was pretty abusive that they didn't take your claims that you're a formula one driver more seriously or just weird that they did.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

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