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My pair of posting gloves came in from Amazon last week and have allowed me to type for much longer periods of time without digital chafing. Before heading to work I do 3 sets of Home Row Inverted Rows and 4 sets of Alt+Tab Inclines, until failure. Unfortunately I ran out of powdered mountain dew and granulated doritos to make after-workout shakes, but my posting partner says I can still feed my muscles with a Hot Pocket. I'd like to know how else I can prepare effectively. I've been studying threads on mountains, china, racist hotdog men, an autistic programming kid, taco bell, and the multitude of popular-movie-is-acutally-bad threads. I hope by internalizing this knowledge daily I can post with clarity, speed, and style for the great Pro Posting Championships. buglord fucked around with this message at 06:49 on Nov 10, 2019 |
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Nov 10, 2019 06:42
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 14:25 |
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Gloves LOL. Why Athletes Pee on Their Hands https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2004/05/can-peeing-on-your-hands-make-them-tough.html quote:In a recent interview with ESPN’s Gary Miller, Chicago Cubs outfielder Moises Alou revealed that during baseball season he urinates on his hands to toughen them up. Alou, one of the few major leaguers who doesn’t wear gloves while batting, is backed up by Yankees catcher Jorge Posada, who says, “You don’t want to shake my hand during spring training.” Even Cubs hurler Kerry Wood mentioned on a local radio show that he’s tried the technique to remedy blisters on his pitching hand.
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Nov 10, 2019 06:55
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immortalyawn posted:Gloves LOL. 
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Nov 10, 2019 07:00
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The more you turn you’re brain off the faster you’re fingers fly. 
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Nov 10, 2019 07:03
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This thread has been done, multiple times, and well...more informative.
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Nov 10, 2019 07:27
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*gets drunk like a freshman the night before, absolutely smashed*
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Nov 10, 2019 07:37
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Keyboard at 70 degree angle to desk edge, clearly well worn letterless red keycaps covering the I, M, G, A and Y letters
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Nov 10, 2019 07:47
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*stocks up on cheetos and mountain dew*
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Nov 10, 2019 08:19
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Nothing says post quality like an auto ban thread, op. Really shows your dedication
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Nov 10, 2019 08:19
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goku
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Nov 10, 2019 08:20
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Stop posting because it’s important to taper before a competition
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Nov 10, 2019 09:03
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OP I'm in your house preparing you to be the best, ask no questions no do not ask why you don't know or can't perceive where I am. I am in your house as we speak, preparing you. The preperation is almost imperceptible except for that slight feeling you sense tingling on the back of your neck in reams of gooseflesh; the knowing of being prepared. Don't check your body or any orifices, don't look behind you, there are no ghosts or strange pale faced terrors in your periphery lurking in your black corners as you sleep, that strange feeling may feel to you like wrongness but it is actually the complete sensation of being prepared. I repeat you are being prepared. Do not squeeze your fists too hard or look too closely in the mirror, that is not a figure with the milky mask of a stranger behind you. You are just overthinking it, there are no strangers in your house. I know you, you are just being prepared, I am preparing you. The creaking and hushing sighs that remind you of the eternal passing of human souls is normal and not anything strange, these are all normal consequences of being prepared. Do not look in your basement or attic, there are no rotted mummified corpses stuffed away in those places, the inkling that is seeping into your brain is a lie. You are not dreaming of bodies planted in your abode, it is just the feeling of me preparing you to post, and post well. Nothing is wrong OP, that is not warm human breath you feel on your neck in the night. I am not hunched over your sleeping form with my eyes rolled into the back of my sockets sucking in hot gulps of your scent as you snore. That is just the feeling of preparedness. Lil Swamp Booger Baby fucked around with this message at 09:17 on Nov 10, 2019 |
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Nov 10, 2019 09:12
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I don't think I've ever seen anyone prepare the op more thoroughly and vigorously or with LESS corpses
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Nov 10, 2019 09:19
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i always post at sea level ill train at elevation, making poo poo posts at 600 meters or more but the real posting goes on at or below sea level
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Nov 10, 2019 10:44
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Hey OP. You're gonna have to wait a bit. The "Special" pro posting championships always come after the Pro Posting Championships for the goons that aren't "Special"
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Nov 10, 2019 12:02
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Burt Sexual posted:This thread has been done, multiple times, and well...more informative. Look pal I’m just doing what I can to promote engaging, high-impact posting that GBS is renowned for. Anyways, just finished polishing the keyboard and replacing old key caps. I know posting is all about skill and only tangentially about gear, but I can’t have my posting speed impacted by keyboard goop.
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Nov 10, 2019 12:27
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Gotta post fast
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Nov 10, 2019 12:33
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 look at this dogBurt Sexual posted:This thread has been done, multiple times, and well...more informative.
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Nov 10, 2019 12:48
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I heard the posting-Olympics is gonna be in the botanist-forums this year
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Nov 10, 2019 13:04
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#epsteindidn'tkillhimself
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Nov 10, 2019 13:17
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Tips and tricks to alienate the people in your life who might interfere with your posting: 1) Don't be reliable. If people can't rely on you, they won't try and ask you to do things. 2) Showering. Don't do it. Just stop.
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Nov 10, 2019 13:33
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Print off your posts and show them to your friends and family members at all times
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Nov 10, 2019 13:44
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I dunno,  some poo poo or whatever. If in doubt, use your most powerful tools (like filth (and nested brackets)).
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Nov 10, 2019 16:35
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Lol if you have to train you do t even have a chance. I’m like the Bartolo Colon of posting
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Nov 10, 2019 17:16
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How dare you, I am the only one deserving that title
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Nov 10, 2019 17:22
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BPD here from the Daily Threadshitter, I'm just here to cheer you guys on. and to investigate the rumour that DGSW is making a surprise appearance.
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Nov 10, 2019 19:16
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I just took a huge hot wet poo poo out my rear end hole cause I ate way too much last night at kbbq
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Nov 10, 2019 19:19
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That's not pro-tier. Pro-tier is using a die-cast tonka truck end loader to get that poop on out of there e: or one of those robot arm things with the joysticks that you could get at radio shack in the 80's
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Nov 10, 2019 19:25
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HAHA yes I remember those! onto other subjects though, what do you think about Chinatown's performance this year?
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Nov 10, 2019 19:35
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I hope you're ready for a beatdown
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Nov 10, 2019 23:25
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C4lK41SX-Q
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Nov 10, 2019 23:26
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op is pro tier at sucking my drat balls
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Nov 11, 2019 06:22
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I wanted to post this. I was too slow.
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Nov 11, 2019 06:24
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This "Mucho Man" is seemingly calling up the mods, especially Burt. I think it might be something personal.
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Nov 11, 2019 10:17
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*cracks knuckles* lets do this
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Jun 29, 2023 21:20
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:OP I'm in your house preparing you to be the best, ask no questions no do not ask why you don't know or can't perceive where I am. I am in your house as we speak, preparing you. The preperation is almost imperceptible except for that slight feeling you sense tingling on the back of your neck in reams of gooseflesh; the knowing of being prepared.
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Jun 29, 2023 21:24
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numberoneposter posted:*cracks knuckles* It's only been four years, that's not enough time to truly prepare to post.
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Jun 29, 2023 21:32
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Preparing...to post? all I ever need to do is soak my hands in warm water for a few minutes, then sit down in front of my posting machine and: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQeuw880tKI dunno what the hell the rest of you are doing
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Jun 29, 2023 22:00
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I'm stuck in silver league posting hell
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Jun 29, 2023 22:13
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I put the limp in olimpics
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