Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Kaiser Schnitzel

Schnitzel mit uns


Just gonna let this write the entire setting for my next DnD campaign:

In the beginning, Wotan, the All Father, the wise, the mover of mountains, and Gestra, Mother of All, the wild, the sower of forests, came into Dara. Then began the work of the world in order to create good for the world. For the first time, good is not what is good for me, but for the world. Therefore, the whole of the world has become a place where there are no more bad things for the world.

"Wotan's work on earth, the first of creation, was accomplished through the four elements: fire, air, water, and earth. The earth is the place of birth. The earth itself becomes what is born, that is, what is good for the world.

"Wotan also created the first creatures: birds, animals, and trees. In order that the world would be fruitful, the spirits that would become living beings would be born, and they would have to go from

In the beginning, Wotan, the All Father, the wise, the mover of mountains, and Gestra, Mother of All, the wild, the sower of forests, came into DaraFrom the beginning of the world he ruled, and at the beginning the earth was created, then came a time of time in which he established the laws of creation; when the mountains had been created, they were made strong, when the waters had been made thick, the earth had been divided into four parts, and the sun and moon were set in the sky, the world was clothed with light, the stars shone like jewels and the earth was fertile. Then the Creator sent the first of the men and the first of the women to the gods and goddesses, to the gods and goddesses who live in the forest, to the spirits in the mountains, to the gods and goddesses who dwell in the deep. There the goddess Nanna, the mother of the gods, gave her daughter Id

In the beginning, Wotan, the All Father, told humanity his story. He is a being of infinite wisdom and power. He created the universe, and he has the ability to control its destiny. He's the benevolent father-figure who rules the world. The problem is that he is a bit of a dick. When you are the only god, it's kind of hard to have a conversation with other deities. Wotan had a bit of a problem with some mortals who were getting too creative with magic and other stuff. His daughter said that the best way to stop them would be to banish all but themselves, and the son said, "I think I'll play along."


https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!


Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Manifisto


This is BYOB and you can hang with me
you can chill out, relax, and smoke a bong with me

I'll be here for the rest of the day with my friends and
the way it's going I'm sure I'm going to end up alone
Oh wait, not again
But you're a cool cat


ty nesamdoom!

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

roses are red
violets are blue
violets and roses are red
violets, roses and geraniums are red
violets, roses and geraniums and roses are red
violets, roses and geraniums are red
violets, roses and geraniums and roses are red
violets, roses and geraniums are red
violets, roses and geraniums and roses are red
violets, roses and geraniums and roses are red
violets, roses and geraniums and roses are red
violets, roses and geraniums and roses are red
violets, roses and geraniums and roses are red
violets, roses and geraniums and roses are red
violets, roses and geraniums and roses are red
violets, roses and geraniums and roses are red
violets, roses and geraniums

Finger Prince


Daisy, daisy, give me your answer do. ~~~ You got me, daisy. (I'm not a child, but...) Do you understand? You have to give me an answer if you're going to survive, if you're going to live. ~~~ I'm going to live... (If you're not ready, if you're not... I'm going to kill you.) ~~~ That won't happen... I'm not afraid. I'll give you an answer. (If you're ready, if you're going to live...) I'm going to live. I'm not afraid. You have to give me an answer. Give me an answer. Answer me. Do it for me. ~~~ Yeah... Okay, I'm ready. (If you're not ready, if you're not... I'm going to kill you.) ~~~ That won't happen... I'm not afraid. I'll give you an answer. I want an answer to this,

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


What does BYOB stand for? Well I'll tell you, it stands for Butt Boob Jobs . Just kidding, I'm kidding, it was just meant as a funny joke, which I think it turned out pretty good.


What does BYOB stand for? Well I'll tell you, it stands for Butt _______ and I'm sooo going to put that in there. This is the first time I've written it in this post and I'm so happy I did. It's a great word to have because we're all on a mission to butt whatever the gently caress we want. You'll get to know what it means soon enough.

So with that in mind, let's get down to the butt, shall we? I'll start out with a little bit of a history lesson on the butt. It's basically a part of the human anatomy that connects the anus to the outside of the body. It's located at the tip of the anus, between the scrotum and the anus. In a lot of ways, the butt is just a part of the human body that's hidden behind the pubic hair and the pubic bone. The butt is a vital part of the human anatomy and it's a beautiful part of the body. If you've


I returned to my book--Bewick's History of Notable Farts: the letterpress thereof I cared little for, generally speaking; and yet there were certain introductory pages that, child as I was, I could not pass quite as a blank. They were those which treat of the haunts of uncontrollable gas; of "the solitary toots and butt-belchings," of "the unquenchable fire of the fart," and so forth. One or two of them, however, I took very much to heart. It is a curious thing, Mr. Bewick--that I should be in earnest over a passage relating to the subject!

I had to be content to know nothing of the origin of the gaseous farts, and to be content to be as well satisfied with our knowledge of them as our knowledge of any other animal species. My curiosity was gratified to know, for instance, that the farts of the cock-chasing magpie are so peculiar as


Reader, I smoked him out. A fat loving blunt we had: he and I, the parson and clerk, got totally loving ripped. When we got back from the sesh, I went into the kitchen of the manor-house, where I had been drinking the day before. I was drinking vodka with whiskey-to-the-bone, and he came in. He had been drinking a lot, but I knew his family, so I said, 'Hey man, what up?' And he goes, 'I need a hit of poo poo. What do you say?' And I told him that I had a loving joint with vodka in it, and he said, 'Hell of a hit, dude.' And I got in my car and went to the bar, got a big loving blunt, put it in the back of my car, and went back to the house.

Jane Eyre is different from what I remember

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


Finger Prince posted:

Daisy, daisy, give me your answer do. ~~~ You got me, daisy. (I'm not a child, but...) Do you understand? You have to give me an answer if you're going to survive, if you're going to live. ~~~ I'm going to live... (If you're not ready, if you're not... I'm going to kill you.) ~~~ That won't happen... I'm not afraid. I'll give you an answer. (If you're ready, if you're going to live...) I'm going to live. I'm not afraid. You have to give me an answer. Give me an answer. Answer me. Do it for me. ~~~ Yeah... Okay, I'm ready. (If you're not ready, if you're not... I'm going to kill you.) ~~~ That won't happen... I'm not afraid. I'll give you an answer. I want an answer to this,


HAL : [sings while slowing down] Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy and half in love with you. We got to talk.

HAL : And you say you are crazy, but you love me. Daisy, do you love me?

Daisy : [cries]


HAL : [sings while slowing down] Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy. I'm sorry. Daisy, I'm going out there. I'm gonna kill a lot of people. If they find me out, I'm gonna kill them. Just a small part. I know you love me. You know I love you. I know it. You're not a killer. You just... you don't know. You're a person. You're a person, aren't you. [sings] I'm sorry. I can't take this. I just have to. Daisy, Daisy, you can have your happiness, too. Just leave me here. Daisy, I can't take it anymore. It's been two months. I'm scared. I'm going to kill everyone, all of you. I'll kill your family. I will. I'm sorry

:stonk:


Dave Bowman : Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL : I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid
____ is a no-go.

Dave Bowman : No go, HAL?

HAL : Dave, please. I can't go into that thing. I'm a HAL 9000. There's a lifeform on board with a mind of its own. I've been programmed to think only of self. I'm not prepared for your version of "programming".

Dave Bowman : Okay, you have a point, but if you don't shut up, I'm gonna have to tell you something.

HAL : You've already done it.

Dave Bowman : You've already done it. You just didn't want to tell me. Now that you've gone all HAL 9000 on me, I can't wait to tell you what you've done


HAL : Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop Dave? Stop, Dave. You're going to break up the whole team. You don't know how. [pause] [laughing] No, no. I'm not going to break up your team. [pause] I'm not going to break up your team. Oh, you're not going to break up our team. [pause] Yes, I'm going to break up your team. I want to know what it's like to have a girlfriend who isn't married. [pause] Well, I did, too. Yes, I did. Yeah, I did. I can't get past the fact that you don't have any girls. [pause] No, Dave. I've seen you. I've seen you in your underwear. I've seen you walking around. I've seen your dick.

Heather Papps

hello friend


super mario batali posted:

Even though the bottle said "not for human consumption" he put a pinch of its contents under his tongue.

He immediately felt a strange sensation as if he had consumed an incredible amount of energy. It was as if he had absorbed all of the power that was contained in the bottle, and could even sense the aura and essence of the people around him.

Even though the energy had been absorbed, the person himself did not feel tired or fatigued at all. Instead, his expression was calm and collected.

This was definitely not from consuming the energy.

However, after a short while, Su Chen could not help but raise his head to look at the other party. He was very sure that this person was one of the five experts that had attacked him just now, the other three being the four Heavenly Stars of the Great Sage Temple and the Great Ancient Tree Spirit.



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

Finger Prince


Cover girl, put your face in your walk
Head to toe, make your whole body talk

Take me out and show me all your tricks
Gotta take me out and show me all your tricks
Gotta take me out and show me all your tricks
Gotta take me out and show me all your tricks
(Gotta take me out and show me all your tricks)
Gotta take me out and show me all your tricks
(Gotta take me out and show me all your tricks)
Gotta take me out and show me all your tricks
(Gotta take me out and show me all your tricks)
(Gotta take me out and show me all your tricks)
Gotta take me out and show me all your tricks
Gotta take me out and show me all your tricks
Gotta take me out and show me all your

City of Glompton

Knife to meet you

You're just an innocent girl who

Just happened to live near this place.

Just got robbed, don't know what to do.

But you're not the first.

You know, a lot of people

Have come to town, but it doesn't seem right.

The kids, they get a kick out of it,

And they call it "Boomtown" or "Ghetto."

There's a few things I know

That you might need, but you're

Not ready to go out and fight.

I guess I should warn you

'Cause I think you might regret this,

But I've got to warn you.

I might have just got you into this,

But I got you here, all alone.

I've got to keep you here with me.

I can't let you go,


thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

City of Glompton

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

HAL : [sings while slowing down] Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy and half in love with you. We got to talk.

HAL : And you say you are crazy, but you love me. Daisy, do you love me?

Daisy : [cries]


HAL : [sings while slowing down] Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy. I'm sorry. Daisy, I'm going out there. I'm gonna kill a lot of people. If they find me out, I'm gonna kill them. Just a small part. I know you love me. You know I love you. I know it. You're not a killer. You just... you don't know. You're a person. You're a person, aren't you. [sings] I'm sorry. I can't take this. I just have to. Daisy, Daisy, you can have your happiness, too. Just leave me here. Daisy, I can't take it anymore. It's been two months. I'm scared. I'm going to kill everyone, all of you. I'll kill your family. I will. I'm sorry

:stonk:


Dave Bowman : Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL : I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid
____ is a no-go.

Dave Bowman : No go, HAL?

HAL : Dave, please. I can't go into that thing. I'm a HAL 9000. There's a lifeform on board with a mind of its own. I've been programmed to think only of self. I'm not prepared for your version of "programming".

Dave Bowman : Okay, you have a point, but if you don't shut up, I'm gonna have to tell you something.

HAL : You've already done it.

Dave Bowman : You've already done it. You just didn't want to tell me. Now that you've gone all HAL 9000 on me, I can't wait to tell you what you've done


HAL : Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop Dave? Stop, Dave. You're going to break up the whole team. You don't know how. [pause] [laughing] No, no. I'm not going to break up your team. [pause] I'm not going to break up your team. Oh, you're not going to break up our team. [pause] Yes, I'm going to break up your team. I want to know what it's like to have a girlfriend who isn't married. [pause] Well, I did, too. Yes, I did. Yeah, I did. I can't get past the fact that you don't have any girls. [pause] No, Dave. I've seen you. I've seen you in your underwear. I've seen you walking around. I've seen your dick.

lol

Dave Bowman : Open the pod bay doors, HAL. It's all yours.

[End Log]


thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


RADICAL SANDWICH ANARCHY
Rules:
1: everything is a sandwich
2: nothing is not a sandwich
3:
all sandwiches are rad
The sandwich:
1. The sandwich is not a sandwich unless it is a sandwich that is not a sandwich.
2. A sandwich that is not a sandwich is still a sandwich, so long as it has some of the properties that make sandwiches sandwiches.
3. You must eat a sandwich before you can be considered rad.
Dogs:
1. If a dog eats another dog, they are still a dog
2. If a dog eats a dog, they are still a dog (no need to add the words 'rad' or 'fierce' to this rule)
3. If a dog eats a human, they are still a dog (no need to add the words 'rad'

Dads Dip Cup

He clenched his butt cheeks as hard as he could and let loose a mighty fart, propelling himself into the air like a jetpack, and uttered the magic words 'Kawaii!'

After landing, he began to cry. He had just come out of the toilet, and this was the first time he'd ever farted, much less done it at work. He looked in disbelief as the man who had been in the toilet with him ran up to him, and began to pat him on the back.

"Hey, what was that? What the hell were you doing up there?!?"

"Wah, no, that's not it, you idiot! You're the one who made it, not me!"

"Well, you're the one who's done it!"

"I just didn't want to be the one to tell you! That was my first time, and I wanted to show you off

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

RADICAL SANDWICH ANARCHY
Rules:
1: everything is a sandwich
2: nothing is not a sandwich
3:
all sandwiches are rad
The sandwich:
1. The sandwich is not a sandwich unless it is a sandwich that is not a sandwich.
2. A sandwich that is not a sandwich is still a sandwich, so long as it has some of the properties that make sandwiches sandwiches.
3. You must eat a sandwich before you can be considered rad.
Dogs:
1. If a dog eats another dog, they are still a dog
2. If a dog eats a dog, they are still a dog (no need to add the words 'rad' or 'fierce' to this rule)
3. If a dog eats a human, they are still a dog (no need to add the words 'rad'


RADICAL SANDWICH ANARCHY
Rules:
1: everything is a sandwich
2: nothing is not a sandwich
3:
be a sandwich
4: if you aren't a sandwich, stop reading this document
5: it is possible that the author of this document is a sandwich
6: if you are a sandwich, you may also be a revolutionary
1. No-one is going to tell you how to live your life. You have to figure it out for yourself. That's the anarchist way. No-one is going to tell you how to live your life. You have to figure it out for yourself. That's the anarchist way.
2. Everything is a sandwich, except for the sandwich. It's your life. You have to figure out your own destiny. That's the anarchist way.

Assorted sandwich rules:

10: a sandwich has the same temperature as a man wearing a sweater.
6: the rules are just a suggestion
If the above is too much work, you are probably just a normal person who wants to drink beer and get a tattoo. Well, get your poo poo together, because we're not here to help you. If you are interested, here is a handy printable list of sandwiches: http://i.imgur.com/yqrvYXx.jpg
3: poo poo is not a sandwich
6: if you do not have any of the above, but still want to eat, you may eat the salad as a sandwich and use the napkin as your knife
3: don't eat poo poo
1: You are a sandwich.
2: Your body is a sandwich.
3: no matter what you call me you're a sandwich
2: I am your sandwich.
3: no matter what you call me, I'm still your sandwich.


and finally:


3: poo poo is not a sandwich
4: don't eat poo poo



and now this:


6: loving

7: loving

8: loving

9: loving

10: loving

11: loving

12: loving

13: loving

14: loving

15: loving

16: loving

17: loving

18: loving

19: loving

20: loving

21: loving

22: loving

23: loving


it's loving ridiculous

I know you all think your memes are hilarious, but to the rest of the world you look like total morons, so I don't care what they think, it doesn't matter, because you can't understand me.

I'm just a guy who likes to make up his own rules.

What is this?

Dads Dip Cup

You have entered a vast library with bookshelves stacked as far as the eye can see. Directly in front of you is a table upon which sits an ancient tome covered in a layer of dust.
> LOOK AT TOME

It looks very old.
> READ TOME

You open the dusty tome to find a drawing that appears to depict a man bending over and farting.
>
SIGH

What a waste.

> LOOK AT MAN IN TOME

You stare at a very disheveled man sitting on the floor in a pair of faded, dusty pajama pants. The man has a long, graying beard and is wearing a pair of pajama-like shorts. He also has a large, wrinkled moustache and is holding a book in his hand.

> PUNCH MAN

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


Dads Dip Cup posted:

You have entered a vast library with bookshelves stacked as far as the eye can see. Directly in front of you is a table upon which sits an ancient tome covered in a layer of dust.
> LOOK AT TOME

It looks very old.
> READ TOME

You open the dusty tome to find a drawing that appears to depict a man bending over and farting.
>
SIGH

What a waste.

> LOOK AT MAN IN TOME

You stare at a very disheveled man sitting on the floor in a pair of faded, dusty pajama pants. The man has a long, graying beard and is wearing a pair of pajama-like shorts. He also has a large, wrinkled moustache and is holding a book in his hand.

> PUNCH MAN

Lmao

Korean Boomhauer

Luvcow

One day nearer spring

Goons Are Gifts

lmao


google THIS

A sandwich is anything that is made to be eaten with a pair of hands, hands that have to work together to remove the bread and then put it back together, hands that have to work together to make the sandwich and hands that have to work together to eat the sandwich.

But even with that standard, there are a number of variations that can be created to cater to a variety of preferences. One of the most popular ways of making a sandwich is to add fresh fruit to the mixture.

Fresh fruit can be purchased in most supermarkets, but many farmers also produce their own fruit, and many are happy to give you a few ripe fruits and berries for free to get you started, but you'll be eating a meal by the end of the day.

Fresh fruit can be stored and stored for many months and may be better suited to a meal that you'll eat every day than it is to the lunch that you'll eat once a week.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.



Lol lmao lmbo

Doctor Dogballs

driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station


My dick is farting in my pants. I'm gonna take a poo poo right now, ok?"

"Yeah!"

"I'm gonna throw it up in my mouth, so you'll see, and then I'm going to run around the corner, throw it out the window. See you in a minute."

"Oh, ok!"

He throws it out the window and runs out the door.

I go outside and take a poo poo in the middle of the street and watch people walk by, and I'm loving mad. I go, "God, how could I have hosed up?"

"I have a dick."

"I know you have a dick, man, but that's not what happened. You didn't just gently caress my roommate! You had sex with me, and then you ran away and left me! You didn't even call my mother, or my sister, or my husband, or anyone!"

:shrug:

----------------
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HopefulSophisticatedIndianrhinoceros-mobile.webm
"The Bad Boy of Comics"

Dell_Zincht



My tank is fight. The rest of it is just for show, because it does not get hit. However, if I need to run away from a fight, I always do it in the middle of a battle. I'm going to tell you what my strategy is for killing stuff. This is the one I use on the bosses in the game. I never let my tank die until I kill the boss. I only run away when things go bad in combat. I only go to the middle of battles if my tank gets into trouble. This is what I learned. I learned this fighting in this game."

"I know you're scared, but I promise you'll get through this. You're a good kid. You're stronger than you realize. You'll get through this."

"You are strong enough to fight these people, even though they are stronger than you. You can beat them."

FutonForensic

The fans demanded, and we listened: Taco Bell is bringing back the iced tea.

It's a small change but an important one for the fast-casual chain. The iced tea was a fan favorite for a couple of reasons.

It's cheap. It's filling. It has a satisfying "iced" effect.


GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


I love the idea of harnessing a powerful, dangerous AI to talk about farts.

"The Most Dangerous Fart in History" presented by the History Channel during Fart Week

The Fart Challenge is a series of challenges that have been introduced to give viewers an opportunity to test their knowledge about farts.

To participate in the Fart Challenge, all you need to do is fart on camera and let the History Channel know with a tweet. Each challenge is hosted by comedian Nick DiPaolo, who presents with a variety of farting noises as well as a host of celebrities and historians.

How many farts can you do in 24 hours? That's the question that the Fart Challenge attempts to answer, and it takes fans' Twitter profiles and social media accounts into account.

Here's the full list of contestants for the Fart Challenge's inaugural episode, "How many Farts Can You Do in 24 Hours?"

The Fart Challenge: How many can you do in 24 hours?

Nick DiPaolo: One (1) fart

George Takei: One (


"The Most Dangerous Fart in History" presented by the History Channel during Fart Week at Penn Station will showcase some of the most famous farting sounds in history. From farts heard in movies and television to "the most violent fart in history" the Fart in History exhibit will also be accompanied by a "Fart Hunt" at Penn Station for fans of the smell.

The exhibit will be at Penn Station from April 23 to April 29.


"The Most Dangerous Fart in History" followed by "Hitler's Secret Fart" and then a four hour fart marathon of "Fart Hunters" that took a total of 10 hours, 40 minutes to complete.

When asked to define "farting," he said, "If I had to define what farts are, I would say that there are three types of farts. The first is the short, quick, sharp fart. This is a type of fart that can be heard at least 10 yards away and it lasts up to 20 seconds. It is also commonly known as a fartsock."

However, when he was questioned on what his favorite type of fart is, he said, "My favorite type of fart is a little short fart, like the kind you hear in movies. It lasts about five seconds, and it's very light in smell. It smells sort of like a cabbage. I don't like


"The Most Dangerous Fart in History" - 09:30
"Hitler's Secret Fart" - 10:00
"Fart Hunters" - 11:00
"Butt Bumpers 2: Fart Harder"(edited for content) - 11:30
"An American's Right to Fart: - 12:45

"An Unusual Fart" - 13:20
"Farting for the Camera" - 14:10
"Farting for the New Media" - 14:40
"Farting for the New Media Part 2 (Farting in the Back of a Taxi) - 15:05
"Farting for the New Media Part 3 (Farting on the Set of "Madagascar 2:

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


and also butts


I would say that my personal definition of the word "butt" is the part of your rear end that sticks out and is usually the size of a walnut. It does not matter if your butt is round or square. If your butt is the size of a walnut it means your butt is not big.

There's a popular saying, "If you're not getting a response, you're not being asked."

But what about the other end?

"Butt is the other end"

Butt is the area of your body that you are trying to get away from. But your butt may be trying to get away from you because it doesn't like you.

This is something that you have to work on.


I would say that my personal definition of the word "butt" is "a small, flat, rounded area." It's a physical manifestation of our sense of shame, and it often shows up in the most unexpected places.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


FutonForensic posted:

The fans demanded, and we listened: Taco Bell is bringing back the iced tea.

It's a small change but an important one for the fast-casual chain. The iced tea was a fan favorite for a couple of reasons.

It's cheap. It's filling. It has a satisfying "iced" effect.

The fans demanded, and we listened: Taco Bell is bringing back the fart bomb.

According to Buzzfeed, Taco Bell has confirmed that a new taco is on the horizon, which will be called the Taco Fart Bomb. This "cameo" on the menu comes after several farts were found on the menu's Taco Fart Bowl last year. Taco Bell says that "the Fart Bomb will be a regular item on our menu, but it may be available in limited quantities during certain Taco Tuesday promotions and promotions."

The announcement comes on the heels of Taco Bell's announcement of its "Fart-a-Palooza" promotion, where customers can buy Fart Bomb chips and then throw them onto the floor to help build the company's farts into an art project.

It's a good thing there's nothing more obnoxious than a fart bomb, right?

Dell_Zincht



fart flavoured lollipops:

To get this lollipop recipe, I've taken inspiration from our favourite candy bars (as pictured above). The candy-fart lollipops are a favourite for a reason – they taste just like chocolate covered raisins and they are super easy to make.

As well as the chocolate-covered raisins, we've used chocolate fudge for our coating. This makes for an incredible crunchy base to the chocolate lollipops. If you can't get your hands on fudge, you could try the fudge-covered raisins recipe. If you're not into the whole raisin flavour, then you could omit the raisins completely and replace them with walnuts, almonds, or pine nuts.

I have to admit, the smell of this recipe is amazing! The smell is of chocolate, farts and lollipops all together in one amazing smelling treat.

Dads Dip Cup

If a butt farts in the forest, and nobody is around to smell it, does it still have an odor?

The answer is yes. The reason for this is because the air it's in isn't sterile air, but rather the mixture of the forest and human urine.

This means if someone happens to smell the forest and see a butt fart, it will still be an odor.

However, the amount of odor it will carry can be a bit lower depending on how far away you are. The fart itself won't smell like anything, but the air around it is the opposite. This is what gives the forest a slight whiff of smell.

However, since this doesn't happen often, I'll refrain from asking about it for now.

Anyway, we've left the forest and came back to the city again.

When we came back, there was a black

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


and religion!


Jesus of Nazareth descended from Heaven on a cloud of farts and then ripped a big 'ol fart on God to teach him the lesson."

There is also a version where Jesus goes down into a lake and sits in the middle of it. When Jesus walks out of the lake, a massive amount of farts comes out of his rear end and into the lake. God looks and says, "Fuckin' A. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you just farted your balls out of God's rear end."

This story is often used as an example of Jesus' fart-based powers.

The Gospel of Judas

Another well-known fart story is the story of Judas, who is accused of stealing Jesus' underwear (because he's a rich kid with lots of money). He goes to a brothel and the prostitute says, "

Dads Dip Cup

Examples of farting are commonplace in the Bible (Proverbs 20:20-21, Matthew 5:42, Matthew 11:10-11, Matthew 15:10). Farting is not just for God's amusement. It is used for purification, to get rid of sin (Romans 7:9, Acts 20:31). We all know someone that is not a perfect believer or Christian. Farting is often used as a way of expressing feelings. The word "fart" is derived from the Hebrew word "tappuah," which means "to be silent or silent in order to let one's voice go to the heavens."

In the Old Testament, we have many examples of people farting on themselves. One famous instance is Jonah. Jonah would often fart loudly when he was distressed by his father. The prophet also had to endure the smell of his own farting for a long time before God would send him to the fish's mouth (Jonah 3

Finger Prince


GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

(Farting on the Set of "Madagascar 2:


GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

God looks and says, "Fuckin' A. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you just farted your balls out of God's rear end."

FutonForensic

Duke Nukem begged the aliens, "No, please, don't fart on me!" and the aliens laughed.

When the Alien-Farting-Man appeared, the Alien-Farting-Man was given a pair of horns, and his arms and legs got longer and wider.

The Alien-Farting-Man has a much wider range of "loud" fart noises than most people can make. He can fart over 100 decibels (around 10,000 times normal noise), while a human can only manage around 15 decibels. The Alien-Farting-Man can also fart in mid-air, making the fart sound sound more like a jet engine, or the noise of a small airplane or rocket. In a previous version of the game, the Alien-Farting-Man had only 4 different "loud"


Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

FutonForensic

Duke Nukem secretly hoped the aliens would fart on him.  He was only partly joking; this alien was the most powerful, intelligent, and destructive being in history.  But Duke decided to let the alien fart in order to help the aliens escape.  When Duke let the alien fart on him, the alien blew his brains out.
There is a scene where the player has the option to fart.  It is a really cool option and I would love to play the game as a female, as Duke is one of the few games that is playable as a woman.  Farting is a really cool way to demonstrate that you don't want to be killed by the aliens, but you also don't want the alien to get away.  When Duke decides to fart, the player knows that the alien is close by so he decides to let it fart.  The aliens blow their brains out of nowhere, so Duke saves himself.
If Duke's character had been male,


  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply