| Currently debating on which knife set to buy. The +2 cut set slices through all my bread quicker but a +1 fire enchantment (rare) would toast the bread for me! Not good for butter tho... | |
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Nov 28, 2019 03:38
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 18:30 |
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I'm worried that the Dyson Carafe of Endless Water might be difficult to clean. The neck is very narrow relative to the base of the carafe, and that's a recipe for limescale build-up. Also, when I try to clean my current flask of endless water, water is displaced by the motion of my hands such that my house continually floods. I keep trying to punch the water out of the flask with my hands and sponge, but the water keeps pumping out around my wrist, dribbling down my clothing, soaking the soles of my work boots. Is this an issue with the Dyson product? Anyone? |
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Nov 28, 2019 11:08
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I'd like to try one of those oakskin enchantments, for, you know... but I'm kind of embarrassed to visit the bog witch to ask for it. |
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Nov 28, 2019 12:57
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The wind Elemental I summoned to clean my floors while I'm at work keeps getting stuck under the kitchen table. |
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Nov 28, 2019 12:59
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my wife hates my old frat sweater so she had the povertyhag living in the swamplands cast a spell so now whenever i wear it my vision flips upside down and i can hear the whispers of the unloved. still wear it to the bar sometimes tho'
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Nov 28, 2019 13:46
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bought a brand new staff of striking off amazon and the drat thing broke after three charges. they just don't make these like they used to. no help from the customer service department either because the guy on the other end of the line sounds like he's talking in gnomish and you can't half understand what he's saying
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Nov 29, 2019 12:52
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You guys, the Sticks to Snakes staff is a reversible spell! |
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Nov 29, 2019 15:24
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I wanted to enchant my t-shirt and jeans with cold resistance so I could be warm & look cool this winter, but the soul gems I got from killing a couple of fruit flies barely had any effect, so I guess it's on with the heavy coats and scarves again. |
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Nov 29, 2019 15:41
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Just a heads up folks, do NOT buy a +5 vorpal steak knife. Just don't. My friend did this and his head fell off when he cut himself eating a ribeye. |
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Nov 29, 2019 15:45
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Got a cursed shirt at a garage sale, figured it might be worth something once it's restored, but I tried washing it before bringing it to a priest to be blessed and now I can't unequip the lint from the dryer trap. |
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Nov 29, 2019 18:38
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wish I could afford to visit the apothecary but my insurance doesn't cover it. never thought I'd end up being the guy purchasing illicit potions of levitation from shady websites, but here we are
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Nov 29, 2019 19:51
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*brings my charm of detect bullshit to work as a "joke", ends up getting enchantments banned from the workplace entirely*
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Nov 29, 2019 20:15
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To the management of Dethlyss Shade T'rhum Necromantic Services and Services: Three weeks ago I hired a number of your Undead And Untiring(tm) Cleaning Servants to prepare my mobile home and attached thaumaturgical laboratory for a family visit. While the service was adequate, I discovered within the eve a strange phenomenon. A somewhat "jaunty" corpse bearing the name tag "Skeletony Ravioli" had taken up residence within the confines of my laboratory! Attempts to dispel this enchanted servant of the night have failed. Mister "Ravioli" is indeed as Undead and Untiring(tm) as advertised, and I fear this has rendered my laboratory unusable. My work is perpetually interrupted by this skeletal automaton. This is my fourth attempt to contact you. I no longer desire reimbursement for the demonic familiars used to do so, nor reimbursement for the inconveniences created by this infernal magic. I wish only for you to come claim the damnable creature! I have so far gone without response, and my patience grows thin. Thin indeed! Quite thin! Please respond immediately. I will no longer await your "earliest convenience." With limited patience, Relgor Redmajus |
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Nov 29, 2019 21:29
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John: Hey, man- why do you look so bummed? Hank: Cops snagged my stash. They confiscated my bag... John: Ah, well; at least they only got just one bag, and not your ENTIRE stash. Hank: My bag of holding. I even had my grow room in there! John: drat, that sucks. Well, I got some really good news for you, then! Hank: What's that? John *whistling*: Come here, girl! Hank:WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING! John: Baba Yaga's Hut; you can grow in it, hide your stash, AND it can outrun the cops! Hank: I bet that thing makes fertilizer, too doesn't it... John: Better than unicorn poo poo! |
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Nov 29, 2019 22:19
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| Enchanting my hammer with both fire and ice was not as cool as i expected | |
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Nov 29, 2019 22:45
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The good news is I have one Rod of Resurrection left. The bad news is the crafter of the rod was a big Ghetto Boys fan **produces a butt plug** Back up in your rear end with the resurrection? Or will it be die motherfucker die? |
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Nov 29, 2019 22:54
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My kid polymorphed the cat and now I've got a cobra that's obsessed with cleaning it's bunghole |
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Nov 29, 2019 23:43
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Got busted for possession because I was wearing Boots of Speed. |
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Nov 29, 2019 23:49
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| Turns the process required to create Boots of Striding is so resource intensive that my carbon footprint isn't any smaller than if I was taking an airplane. | |
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Nov 29, 2019 23:54
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Unicorn #1: I tell ya, it sucks that we can only approach virgins. Unicorn #2: I know, it wasn't so bad when that meant innocent maidens not yet of marrying age, but these days... Fat guy in a fedora: Do you need a lap to rest your head on, m'mare? |
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Nov 30, 2019 00:08
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*Concern and panic around the hotel pool* Me: no, it's cool, he shotgunned like 8 potions of water breathing before jumping off the balcony into the pool Concerned guest: but he clipped his head on the pool edge when he went in... Me: *taking a sip from my now new to me beer hat of skull protection* uhhh... oh. |
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Nov 30, 2019 00:18
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Questing for one of Stevie Nicks' Shawls of the White Witch seemed like a good idea at the time, but i haven't been able to stop spinning and twirling since i put it on. Oh god I'm so dizzy.
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Dec 1, 2019 05:01
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sig by Prof. Crocodile
BYOB spells: Mutually Assured Kindness
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Jaguars! posted:My kid polymorphed the cat and now I've got a cobra that's obsessed with cleaning it's bunghole just tell people you have a pet ouroboros it's fine
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Dec 1, 2019 22:28
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my girlfriend asked me if i cast haste on my weiner becuase im bad at sex haha is that relevant i don't understand the fantasy genre
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Dec 2, 2019 02:07
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nut posted:my girlfriend asked me if i cast haste on my weiner becuase im bad at sex haha is that relevant i don't understand the fantasy genre well this is pure sci fi so
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Dec 2, 2019 02:18
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Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:The good news is I have one Rod of Resurrection left. lol |
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Dec 2, 2019 06:58
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Sharing my maddened ramblings that came to me at 3am when I couldn't sleep- Cursed Gravy Boat When used, teleports the user to the other side of the River Styx, where you will have to pay Charon the Ferryman 2 coins to get back to the world of the living. You better hope you had 2 coins in your pocket before you use it! BONUS: The loving gravy really IS to die for |
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Dec 3, 2019 13:12
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 18:30 |
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Crystals these days are certainly larger and have more features, but sometimes I miss the days when they only needed charging once a week instead of getting a bro together every day or even twice a day. |
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Dec 5, 2019 02:40
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