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This is kind of related to the theme, but one Christmas during my first marriage my wife put a nicely-wrapped present next to the tree that was quite clearly a well-framed picture of some kind. From the dimensions I knew it was not a standard print but rather a triptych in a single frame, and without thinking said "You got me the Garden of Earthly Delights! Cool!" She spent the next month or so doggedly insisting I was wrong and that it was something else entirely, to the point I actually started to doubt myself a little. On Christmas day I opened it and of course it was the Garden of Earthly Delights. She never let me live that down, and it probably contributed in some small way to our later divorce. I still have that print in storage.
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# ? Dec 15, 2019 00:13 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 13:58 |
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Turdo posted:When I was 16 my grandmother got me an almost full set of 30 year old thrift store golf clubs in a bag that had been mostly chewed apart by mice. I had never expressed any interest in golf and had absolutely no knowledge of how it was played, but due to this generous gift my parents forced me to attend tryouts for the school team that spring. I did not have any golf balls or even know what golf tees were. It was pretty embarrassing due to all the other kids knowing what they were doing, actually wanting to be there, and having equipment that didn't obviously belong in a dumpster. It turned out alright when the coach told me not to come back after the first day. Read in Rodney Dangerfield's voice.
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# ? Dec 15, 2019 00:18 |
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SilvergunSuperman posted:Read in Rodney Dangerfield's voice. I decided to try this out, and just... wow lmao. Perfection.
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# ? Dec 15, 2019 00:41 |
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One Christmas my grandma gave me a gram of crack cocaine. I told her I loved meth, dammit!
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# ? Dec 15, 2019 01:30 |
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Drunk Nerds posted:One Christmas my grandma gave me a gram of crack cocaine. "We have meth at home, dear"
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# ? Dec 15, 2019 02:27 |
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After reading the OP I didn’t realize the three olives origin story was as dire as it was
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# ? Dec 15, 2019 02:37 |
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-A big box of assorted glitter glues from my aunt when I was 7 -A DVD copy of 'Big Fat Liar' starring Frankie Muniz and Amanda Bynes from my grandma when I was around 13 - A pair of Canadian flag patterned canvas sneakers, a joint gift from my mom and older sister, a couple of years ago.
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# ? Dec 15, 2019 02:53 |
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A woodburned plaque with a swastika made of glow in the dark dildos
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# ? Dec 15, 2019 03:21 |
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azurite posted:I got a Live Nudes neon sign from my uncle. That’s fuckin cool though? Apprently my brother picked out a gift for me on my grandma’s dime a couple Christmases ago. So he decided to get me some big anime tiddy game for the 3ds - Senran Kagura something Double-D edition. I unwrapped it a little bit, recognized it as that big tiddy game we laughed about at a store a few months earlier, then finished unwrapping it at an angle my grandma couldn’t see the front/back from and slyly shuffled it between some other presents I got. ‘So how do you like it, what can you tell me about it?’ ‘It’s a cool game thanks grandma I love it’.
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# ? Dec 15, 2019 03:32 |
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When I was about 10, my affluent aunt got me a (what looked like a used) water bottle, a plain cheapo trucker's hat, and a (probably also used because they were not wrapped in plastic) deck of playing cards. She handed me my "gift" in a crumpled up brown paper bag with nothing written on it.
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# ? Dec 15, 2019 16:25 |
Minimum Syntaxing posted:That’s fuckin cool though? Lmao let me guess, it suddenly disappeared shortly after and your brother locked his room a whole lot for a while?
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# ? Dec 15, 2019 16:32 |
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Son of Rodney posted:Lmao let me guess, it suddenly disappeared shortly after and your brother locked his room a whole lot for a while? I was 23 and he was 24 lmao, neither of us are into anime schoolgirls, he just wanted to embarrass me with a joke present.
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# ? Dec 15, 2019 16:58 |
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My aunt and cousins came back from disneyland and gave me their half used hotel soaps
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 08:57 |
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At one Christmas my Mom got me a paper shredder, and my brother got me a battery pack for jumping a dead car battery. OK, that's cool. Thanks. Only my Mom gave me her old paper shredder, and kept the one she bought for me, and my brother did the same hing with the battery pack. So, I got two used gifts, and my Mom ended up buying me the wrong book I asked for, and my brother bought me a sweatshirt completely opposite of what I asked for. "It was a banner fuckin' year at the old Bender family." Now I simply ask for gift cards. They can't gently caress that up.
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 09:16 |
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I got a Mr. Potato Head when I was 16 from a grandma with dementia. I took it to college with me.
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 09:27 |
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My grandma gave me a sexy firemen calendar i'm a lesbian
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 09:29 |
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MageMage posted:Jokes on them, my family is all dead lol!! You are the gift that keeps on giving.
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 09:31 |
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One year my brother’s girlfriend got him an Apple Watch and he got her an electric toothbrush lol
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 11:25 |
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Chrs posted:One year my brother’s girlfriend got him an Apple Watch and he got her an electric toothbrush lol I feel that this is bait for a really obvious joke.
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 11:29 |
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My wife's aunt got me as a secret santa one year and bought me a bunch of child-sized tools, like "Kiddie's First Screwdriver Set" or something. I got a little hammer, screwdrivers, tape measure, and level. I don't know if she thinks I'm developmentally disabled or what, but the joke's on her because that little screwdriver works incredibly well for random tasks around the house. Growing up my grandma knew I "liked art" and got me a big colored pencil set basically every year from 8-18.
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 13:38 |
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CaptainSarcastic posted:This is kind of related to the theme, but one Christmas during my first marriage my wife put a nicely-wrapped present next to the tree that was quite clearly a well-framed picture of some kind. From the dimensions I knew it was not a standard print but rather a triptych in a single frame, and without thinking said "You got me the Garden of Earthly Delights! Cool!" What did you have to live down? Knowing art?
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 13:51 |
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Probably that time my grandmother got me a minecraft themed joke book, i was like 24 and had never actually played minecraft or shown any interest in it.
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 14:07 |
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ritual gift giving is always terrible, I don't know why we still do this as a culture
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 15:03 |
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A Radio Shack robot that could slowly walk forward and point an arm. Might have been good for a 4 year old but I was in my teens, Grandpa.
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 15:25 |
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Nit Wit Dog poo poo posted:At one Christmas my Mom got me a paper shredder, and my brother got me a battery pack for jumping a dead car battery. OK, that's cool. Thanks. At least you get to shred things in order of difficulty - book, sweatshirt, battery - in front of the people who gave them to you.
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 15:39 |
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My aunt who never had kids and hadn't seen us in awhile. I'm 10 my brother is 6. She got me a toy ambulance that had giant buttons one said "If you need help dial nine one one" I remember this because this toy became my brothers favorite toy for the next year. To this day he probably still thinks that gift was for him. What she got him was a toy for an infant, the hanging things on a little pole with legs that the kid bats with their hands. He wouldn't have fit under this thing let along be in the right age group. She "made it up to me" by getting me a birthday gift, which was she knit a lopsided and itchy sweeter that was way too big so I fit into it for the next few years and it was super itchy and I hated it and always had to put it on when we saw her, which was thankfully once or twice a year. She tried at least, still what a kid really wants is $20 and a trip to the toy store.
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# ? Dec 16, 2019 15:56 |
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Beachcomber posted:What did you have to live down? Knowing art? I ruined the surprise of her special gift by reflexively recognizing the dimensions of a triptych. We get along fine, now - we always at least touch base on each other's birthdays.
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# ? Dec 17, 2019 07:07 |
CaptainSarcastic posted:I ruined the surprise of her special gift by reflexively recognizing the dimensions of a triptych. Lemme go ahead and judge your entire former relationship from the two posts I saw: if she got mad about this and you think it had a part in your subsequent divorce then you should be drat thankful that it happened.
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# ? Dec 17, 2019 07:56 |
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SilvergunSuperman posted:Read in Rodney Dangerfield's voice.
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# ? Dec 17, 2019 07:57 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 13:58 |
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Hyrax Attack! posted:A Radio Shack robot that could slowly walk forward and point an arm. Might have been good for a 4 year old but I was in my teens, Grandpa. You're not talking about Robie, right? because that little dude owns nyeeeeoowwwwww look at that
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# ? Dec 17, 2019 08:02 |